Why Naruto characters shouldnt use the computer.

Summery:A crackish story I thought up while brushing my teeth. . ItaSaku. Implied ItaSasu, NaruIta, NaruSaku, and others. Hopefully its funny.

WARNING: I DID NOT TRY. I WAS BORED IF YOU FLAME ME I WONT CARE BECAUSE ITS PROBABLY TRUE.

One day a 14 year old girl by the name of Butterfly-chan was pacing in her room. She was thinking of what to write next in her fanfic, The story of Haruno Sakura. Well, unluckily she had a writers block. She sighed and stared at her computer, which currently had a slide show as a screen saver, showing all the Naruto pictures she got off of Photobucket.

When suddenly, a giant rabbit hoped into her room!

"Hey, wanna buy some crack?" he asked gruffly.

Butterfly stared at him. "Crack is illegal."

"No, not the drug! Crack, as in crack pairings, crack stories??" he asked impatiently. His furry pink paws were folded across his chest, while his large blue eyes and permanent smile watching her. His large foot thumped impatiently.

"Yeah sure why not." The bunny, who he introduced as the crack bunny, dug into his pockets and took out a small bag with white powder. Butterfly took it, but stared at it.

"Hey I thou-" The crack bunny, scratch that, crack whore was gone. Butterfly sighed and looked at the baggie. Her parents weren't home, and neither was her brother...

So she stupidly took the bag and snorted it all. And succumbed to drug over dose, at least, she thought. She woke up a few days later in the forest.

"How the fucking hell did I get here?"

She walked around until she noticed a lap top hanging in a bag on a tree branch. She gasped in surprise. She had always wanted one of those! So she took it. She grinned all the way out of a forest. Then she saw Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke and Itachi.

"DUDE HOW THE HELL DID I GET HERE??" She screamed. She almost fainted, but forced herself not to. The four shinobi looked at her with surprise, well, all except Itachi. Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke didn't look like they were old enough to be in Shippuden, seeing as they wore their normal clothes in the first half. And Itachi looked a lot younger.

"Just who the hell are you?!" Naruto asked.

"Huh? Me? Uh... Butterfly-chan! Yeah, thats my name!! Hehe..." The four sweat dropped.

"No seriously, who are you." Sakura asked angrily.

"Butterfly-chan! I know I know, weird name, but at least I wasn't named after food and an animal." She grinned. Itachi looked rather annoyed, while Naruto's jaw dropped.

"RAMEN IS THE BEST! BELIEVE IT!"

"Your momma so fat even Naruto doesn't believe it." she said, laughing.

One thing was going through the ninja's mind. 'What the hell?'

"Okay okay, sorry."She said, holding her gut while wiping tears from her eyes.

"My name is er, Ayaka. And your Naruto Uzumaki, future Rukudaime and Ramen lover, Sasuke Uchiha, Avenger of the Uchiha clan, Sakura Haruno, Fan girl of Sasuke and future medic-nin, and Itachi Uchiha, killer of the Uchiha clan and Akatsuki member."

"How did you know that? Your not from around here." Sakura asked suspiciously.

"Look I know I'm weird, but that doesn't mean I'm a threat to any one. Hell, Konohamaru could probably defeat me." Ayaka, or Butterfly-chan said. She shrugged and walked a few feat closer to them, trying to not look at Itachi. He was major iCandy, but she didn't want to get killed any time soon.

"Besides I know more then that. Any way, you guys are 13, right?" The trio nodded.

"HA! I'm older then you! 14 bitches!" Ayaka said, making a face that looked a lot like this xD. (xD)

Ayaka glanced between the Gennin and the Akatsuki.

"Wait you guys weren't even supposed to meet yet... and where's Kisame?" Ayaka asked Itachi.

"Who's Kisame?" Naruto asked, easing up a bit.

"You know, big fish dude that carries around a sword that can eat chakra. It's called SameHada or something like that."

"How do you know all this?" Itachi asked her quietly.

"OMFG you talk. I was beginning to think you were mute, like your Lil' bro over there. Um, well, I read."

"Read what? The Bingo book?" Sasuke asked.

Ayaka snorted. "Please, you three are to weak to be in the Bingo book. And DON'T even think about going Kyuubi on me." Ayaka ordered, pointing a finger at Naruto.

"Ky..uubi?" Sakura whispered, glancing at Naruto. Naruto was glaring at Ayaka. Ayaka was certainly strange. Her hair was curly, which was unusual around these parts, and she had a black shirt and blue jeans. And, she was bare foot. She had a pouch strapped on that hung loosely at her side, and it could very well be holding weapons. It was a safe bet not to drop her guard.

"Look I don't know who the hell you think you are-" He was interrupted by Ayaka.

"Ayaka, age 14, writer and artist, I love rock and roll, pop and some rap, and I absolutely LOVE Anime and fanfiction."

"Anime? Fanfiction? Those things don't exist." Sasuke told her, glaring at his brother.

"Oh on the contrary." Ayaka grabbed her pouch, and suddenly every one was in defense position. She ignored it and took out her laptop. She opened it up, typed in a password, and logged onto the Internet. How the fuck was there Internet, you may be asking. Well I'm the author I can make it that way. xD.

"There. Fanfiction dot net." she said happily. She clicked on a link that said Anime/Manga, clicked on Naruto's name, and 4,345 pages showed up. The tro sat next to her on her right, while Itachi was on her left. She honestly was wondering why he hadn't killed her yet.

"They have fanfiction for just about everything. My favorite is the show called Naruto, but I mostly I read the manga now at OneManga dot com. They have all kinds of pairings too. Name two people." She told Naruto.

"Kakashi-sensei... and Sakura-chan." He grinned. Ayaka giggled, a blush creeping over her face.

"Wait, is that good or bad." Sakura asked.

Ayaka shrugged. "Depends on who you ask. Some people hate it, but some people, including myself, love it. I've always liked the Older guy and younger girl thing."

"Wait... you don't mean..." Ayaka doubled click on something.

"Lemon... Lemon... Lemon... God so much lemon..."

"Whats lemon?" Sasuke asked. Ayaka raised an eyebrow at him.

"How do you plan on reviving the clan if you don't know what lemon is?"

"A fruit?" Naruto suggested.

Ayaka sighed. "Okay, when a man and woman love each other very much, they get together-"

"OMG NO NO NO NO!!" The gennin screamed. Itachi 'Hn'ed as usual.

"Wait a second, Sakura-chan and Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked. Ayaka nodded. Naruto's eyes widened and he jumped up from his spot. "I'LL KILL THE PERVERT!!"

Sakura grabbed his jumpsuit to stop him. "Didn't you hear her? FanFiction! FICTION! Meaning its not true!! But why would people write that??" Sakura asked Ayaka.

Ayaka shrugged. "Not all of it's lemon you know. Some of it is just lime and suggested lemon."

"Lime?"

"Making out, kissing, whatever. Anything that's not a home run. Now, they have sicker stuff then that. The have NaruSasu, aka Naruto and Sasuke. Remember when someone pushed you two together? And you guys shared your first kiss?"

"How'd you know about that?!" Naruto and Sasuke demanded.

"I read. Any way, there is worst then that. Something I think would make you puke Sasuke. But I don't think Itachi would care... well I guess he would..."

"What is it?" Itachi asked her.

"Uchihacest." Itachi raised an eyebrow at her. She knew that was about all the reaction she was going to get. Sasuke on the other hand...

"Whats that?"

"OMG. ARE YOU A FUCKING IDIOT??" Ayaka screamed.

"...no..."

Ayaka sighed. "Look, picture Neji and Hinata together, making out."

Team 7 winced.

"Now picture Itachi and Sasuke doing the same thing."

Naruto puked.

Sakura got a nose bleed.

Sasuke was horrified.

"WTF?? ME AND HIM?? HE'S MY BROTHER!! AND HE KILLED MY CLAN!!" Sasuke yelled at her angrily.

"Oh quit being such a baby. I know some one on here who puts Itachi and NEJI together. That has got to be the weirdest Yoai I have ever read."

Again, Sakura got a nose bleed.

"Jeeze, I didn't know you were such a pervert Sakura." Ayaka commented.

"YOUR THE ONE WHO READS IT!!" Sakura defended.

"I read a lot of stuff. You know the practically pair you up with EVERY guy in Naruto? Including Itachi?"

Sakura's eyes widened.

"Yup. Personally that's my favorite, but so is PeinSaku, DeiSaku, KisaSaku, SasoSaku, who you kill.. um... KakaSaku...SuiSaku You wont meet him until later. ... SaiSaku You dont know him yet...ShisuiSaku is okay, but he's dead... I used to read SasuSaku, and it used to be my favorite pairing ever, until Sasuke pissed me off..."

Sakura had fainted.

"There is also ItaNaru... You already know ItaSasu, ItaKisa, ItaKaka..."

Sakura was getting a nose bleed.

"Pervert." Ayaka muttered.

"All there is is lemon?" Naruto asked. Ayaka shook her head. "No, there is action. Like one I wrote called prayer. Originally it was going to be ItaSaku, where Itachi and Sasuke had fought and they both died, and Sakura was crying. But instead I turned it into NaruSasu friendship/action, Sakura was still crying."

Sakura looked annoyed.

"ItaSaku? What is with you?!"

"Hey, I am a proud Itachi fan girl and I think you would be best for him for reasons I cannot answer." Ayaka stated, her hand on her heart and her eyes closed.

Itachi was on the other side of the field now.

"Hey! I'm not the kind of fan girl that goes "OMG ITACHI-KUN! MARRY ME!!" I'm more of the "Itachi is way better then Sasuke and way hotter then him." fan girl." Ayaka stated. He was a bit relieved and walked back over.

Naruto was looking at her laptop, scrolling down with the mouse at all the stories.

"42 pages of ItaSaku." He told Sakura. Ayaka nodded.

"That's only the K-T. The have 5 M rated, most of 'em have lemon."

"You read that too?!

Ayaka nodded. "But mostly from Paws Bells. OMG. Her stories are the BEST! There is one called Icha Icha Paradise after the book, its A.U. where Itachi doesn't kill the clan but Sasuke's still an ass. Heart strings, Curtain Call the final act... Curtain call was the best! You two had twins together called Kuryhou or however its said, and Kusubana, named after you two, and Sasuke kills Itachi and Sakura gets depressed, the Akatsuki is destroyed, Itachi is still alive and returns with Kisame, and you guys live happily ever after! Oh, and Sasuke gets drunk and says he knows Itachi is still alive, but says he's going to give up, and Naruto becomes Hokage. OH! And in the epilogue Sakura gets pregnant again."

Every one stared at her as she babbled on and on about the story. Sasuke was staring with disbelief, Sakura was embarrassed, Naruto was happy he became Hokage, and Itachi was amused.

"How many lemon chapters in that one?"

"One or two."

Ayaka, Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura watched in silence as Itachi walked over to Sakura. She blushed as he pulled her up, leaned down and kissed her on the lips.

When they were done kissing, they stared at Ayaka who had watched with her jaw dropped.

...

"HELL YEAH!!"