Team 7 vs. Team 9: Ultimate Fight! Uchiha Sasuke vs. Uzumaki Tenshin!

Uchiha Sasuke… genius.

Uchiha Sasuke… the last of the great Uchiha clan surviving in the Hidden Leaf Village.

Uchiha Sasuke… kicking Uzumaki Naruto's butt in a straight taijitsu fight.

Uchiha Sasuke… very annoyed.

"Dobe!" he screamed, finally getting pissed. "Stop fooling around and fight me seriously!"

It was Team 7's break time from missions, which meant more training. For Kakashi, training meant team bonding. For Sasuke, team bonding meant spars with the person who seemed good enough to train with… and that certain person was the blonde Uzumaki.

Naruto laughed as he scratched the back part of his head. He was currently on the ground, looking worse for wear. Sasuke easily swept tripped him with ease. He was using a more advanced version of taijitsu the Academy had taught, mostly from the Uchiha scrolls. Naruto, on the other hand, was using only basic taijutsu.

The raven-haired genin growled. He knew Naruto had been holding back. He had seen the blonde in action during their survival training test. The style he had used there was different and almost completely unreadable, using circular motions to gain advantages on his attacks, keeping the flow of his attacks using continuous flow and momentum. Compared to that, the Academy style Naruto had been using every time they sparred after that was complete crap.

Sasuke could not guess why Naruto would go to such a rather inferior style of fighting. It was so basic that almost all genins knew they had to drop it when it came to real battles or serious sparring. There was little to no satisfaction in beating the him using such style. Sasuke grabbed Naruto by the collar of his orange jacket. He then hissed towards the blonde, demanding him to take it much more seriously.

"Now, now, Sasuke," Kakashi stated calmly, raising both his hands, "you won the fight. There is no need to get angst-y."

"I want a real fight!" Sasuke growled. "Why are you holding back, dobe? Why!?"

Sakura, who had been watching the whole exchange, could only admire Sasuke's fiery eyes. They were, apparently, so manly.

"Sasuke has a point, Naruto," Kakashi stated. "There is no point in sparring with each other unless you take each other seriously. Otherwise… it's just insulting."

Ooh, caught on, have you? Naruto thought, wanting to say it, but held his tongue. True, he was limiting himself using that awful taijutsu style that the Academy gave him. He had remembered being stuck with it all his life before Buds slowly taught him the finesse of sword and weapon mastery that also included a small crash course in unarmed combat, which he used during his fight with Kakashi during their bell test. While he could hold his ground better with that style, the real reason why Naruto would not up the ante was that he was setting up a small fight between Buds and Sasuke. He was on the process of sowing the seeds for it.

"Ne… Sasuke," Naruto scratched the back of his head. "If you want to fight that bad… why don't you challenge my brother? He's the one who taught me."

"Laharl? He's even worse than you!" Sasuke replied, remembering the purple-headed Uzumaki who had shown almost no skills in unarmed combat… even though he had somewhat monstrous strength and endurance.

"No, no! Buds! He's very good at unarmed combat, I swear!" Naruto smiled. Well, he was a better ninja than Buds, but he wasn't going to say that now. "So… challenge him!"

"Why not you? Why aren't you taking this seriously?" Sasuke growled.

Naruto made a mocked disappointed face. He had placed the bait… now he slowly tried to lure the Uchiha in. "Ne, ne, Sasuke… are you scared?"

"What!?" the young Uchiha growled. Did he just hear the blonde moron right?

"Are you scared you're gonna get your tail kicked by Buds?" Naruto asked again, ignoring the killer intent waving out of Sasuke. "I mean, I can understand. You always did avoid him during taijutsu class in the academy-"

"I have not! You three avoided me!" Sasuke replied, cutting the blonde short.

Naruto chuckled mentally. That was true, the Uzumaki boys did avoid Sasuke for a good amount of time during the Academy days. Still… a little tug for the fish before reeling him in.

"And I guess it's pretty natural for the weak to avoid the strong-"

"HEY! Don't call SASUKE-KUN WEAK! He's prolly stronger than the three of you stupid Uzumakis!" Sakura shouted, seething. How dare Naruto mock him!? As the number one (in her mind) Sasuke admirer and girlfriend (again, entirely made up from her mind), she would not allow some blonde monkey to insult him like that.

Apparently, not even Sasuke would. His eyes narrowed further.

"I'll challenge him then! You tell your brother to watch his back!" Sasuke hissed, before releasing Naruto. He stalked away from the blonde boy, who silently celebrated his success of luring and reeling in the biting fish.

Kakashi could only shake his head. In his opinion, Naruto caught Sasuke too easily then.

A few days later, in the Hokage's office, Team 7 reported in after another D-Rank mission done, and were waiting for the next one. This was a normal occurrence for the team, though this time, it was obvious that Sasuke still on the edge and a bit anxious, while Sakura stayed by his side, ignored. Naruto was just smiling.

"Ah… Kakashi, welcome back," the Hokage stated, looking somewhat tired.

The doors opened, and Sasuke immediately tensed when he noticed Asuka Goh and Team 9 entering. Behind the jounin-sensei was Morino Ami, Uzumaki Laharl, and Sasuke's current obsession, Uzumaki Tenshin (Buds, as everyone calls him).

"Goh, what a… coincidence," Kakashi greeted with some force to it.

"Quite… good timing too," Hokage greeted, with force as well. "I have currently a D-Rank mission, which requires two teams."

Goh's eyes never changed. "Oh? Then what a… coincidence," he stated, as if he was reading a script, word-for-word. "Kakashi-sempai… since we're both here, why don't both our teams take it?"

"That is a very good idea!" Kakashi stated, eagerly. Oddly, he was saying it unemotionally.

Laharl, Buds, Ami, Sasuke and Sakura looked at the three adults with an odd expression. Naruto slapped his forehead with his right hand.

"Very well… here you go. The mission is from Farmer Ohno. Apparently, his usual hired hands had been injured in an accident, and he needs some help for the day," the Hokage said, giving the scroll to Kakashi. "Collaborate with Team 9, Kakashi. And Godspeed."

"Alright. Team 7, move out," Kakashi stated, pointing towards the door. "Meet at the East Gate. I'll follow later. Except you, Naruto. You stay."

Sasuke 'hn'ed and moved out, with Sakura on the tow. Naruto stayed behind.

"Team 9, follow Team 7. I'll meet you up as well," Goh commanded.

Ami, Laharl, and Buds nodded, and walked out of the room. Naruto breathed a small sigh of relief when the doors closed.

"What crappy acting, you three" Naruto muttered. The Hokage chuckled, good-naturedly at that.

"I'm sure they didn't suspect a thing," Kakashi stated, scratching the back part of his head. "Well… deal's a deal."

"Yeah… gotcha," Naruto took out the orange book he had stolen from Kakashi. He threw it towards the silver-haired man, who caught it easily.

For a moment, Kakashi contemplated on whispering sweet-nothings to his precious book which he missed for quite a while, and was about to before Naruto stated something that made the Hokage chuckle out loud.

"Don't go humping it now," Naruto muttered before leaving the office. Kakashi's cheeks went aflame as Hokage laughed once more.

"So… Kakashi-sempai… that was the reason why you arrange this collaboration?" Goh asked, his voice conveying some annoyance, yet also a tone of understanding.

Kakashi nodded.

A few days ago, Kakashi asked the Hokage and Goh to do a collaboration assignment with Team 7 and Team 9. He explained that he wanted to see Sasuke and Buds together to duke it out, and while Goh had no problems with friendly sparring and competition, he was very suspicious of Kakashi until the silver-haired jounin admitted that Naruto was blackmailing him.

Using the Icha Icha as a hostage… how deplorable, Kakashi stated.

"Fine. Sounds fun," Goh nodded, along with the Hokage.

"Yeah well… the ball is now is on Naruto's court. We'll see how it goes from there," Kakashi stated.

Farmer Ohno greeted the two teams with relief. Even if the demon brats were among them, he was in desperate need of hired hands. With the delivery due tomorrow, he needed people to harvest his vegetables and fruits, milk the cows, shear his sheep, feed the pigs, grab eggs from the chickens, and clean up the pig-sty.

"Team 7 reporting for the mission," Kakashi called.

"Along with Team 9," Goh finished.

"Okay… let's get over this," Ohno stated, going down to business.

"No, no, no!" Ohno shouted, slapping Sakura's hands with his stick. "You do not just pull out the carrot leaf! Dig a bit, and then pull it!"

Sakura growled, but did as asked.

"And you! Same with the potatoes!" Ohno ordered towards Ami, who was a bit brutal with her harvest as well, though instead, hit the older girl on the buttocks, with a slight lecherous grin.

"YEEP!" Ami flinched back, straightening up. Her expression darkened, and her left hand went towards her right hand, sparking with electrical energy. "You damned pervert!"

Laharl and Buds had to tackle Ami down before she could kill their client.

"And that's how you milk the cow," Ohno demonstrated, gently pulling the cows teats, letting the white fluid squirt out with ease.

"Huh… why do that hard work?" Ami raised her left hand, sparking once again with energy. "I read that you can just electrocute with enough voltage and time, squirting out liquid would be done easily in no time."

Sakura's eyes widened, along with Naruto. Sasuke tried not to look interested, but what she just said was pretty out there to not pay attention.

"Pray tell, where did you learn that?" Buds asked, afraid what the answer was.

"Art of Genetalia Torture."

That stunned everyone, even Ohno, who moved practically towards his fine bred cows for protection.

"Let's try," Ami declared with a rather psychotic smile, moving towards the farmer and his cow. "It's a good way to get back at that butt slap."

"Would you knock it off!?" Laharl and Buds exclaimed, tackling Ami once more.

"What a weird team…" Sakura muttered.

"Hn," Sasuke replied. His eyes were on Buds.

"Yeah… no kidding," Naruto pondered. "I mean… those are the mammary glands, not the genital area. Where did she get that idea?"

Sakura could only sweat drop at that. "That's what you're going to say?" she asked.

Naruto looked at his pink-haired companion, contemplated a bit, and shook his head. "Well… I could have said how a cow easily beat you, but that would be too much."

Sasuke was treated with the sight of Naruto socked hard by a very angry kunoichi.

"And that's how you shear wool off the sheep," Ohno stated, unfolding the wool he had cut straight from the shears. "When it's done, just unfold it, and place it on the box right here."

While Ohno unfolded the wool towards its place, the genin all looked nervous. Milking the cow was one thing, but shearing wool seemed about five steps more complicated than anything they have done. Naruto, of all the Universes he explored, all the experience he had accumulated, he had no idea how to do this. Same for Buds, who was more refined than the other two Uzumakis.

"Well?" Ohno asked, looking back at them. "What are you waiting for?"

Handing them shears, the genins looked at each other nervously. Ohno chuckled silently, seeing their reaction. They did their jobs well, he supposed, but it seems they finally hit a brick wall.

"Um… Ohno-san," Sakura started, "I don't think we can do this…"

"It's easy-peasy," Ohno replied. "You don't have to do it perfectly. Just try to at least keep the coat whole."

"Can't we use our kunai?" Naruto asked, not knowing what to do with the instruments he had been holding.

"No," was Ohno's easy reply.

"Can we just kill the sheep?" Laharl asked. "That way, it's easier to cut. Plus you'd get some lambchops for dinner."

The farmer's eyes twitched. "No."

"You know, I read once that using slight electrical charges to change ionization, hairs would stand up from end to end… making it easier to cut-"

"NO!" Ohno sighed. He immediately went towards another part of the barn, and took out six identical tools, which the genins didn't recognize. Grabbing the shears they had been holding, Ohno gave them the new tools he had fetched.

"What are these?" Buds asked, curious.

"Electric shears… good stuff for beginners," Ohno explained. "With chock full of safety features, even as inexperienced as you lot can shear sheep easily and safely! Of course… they tend to thin out the coat more than traditional shears…"

"Sheesh, I wanted to do the ionization thing," Ami muttered, sounding defeated.

"Should have come out with this earlier," Sakura nodded.

"Give me back the manual shear. It's easier for me to kill the sheep with it," Laharl stated with an odd sense of normality in his voice.

"You know… I could try and learn the manual way," Buds pondered.

"You know, I know a barber shop in Konoha that used tools like those manual shears!" Naruto exclaimed with a smile. "I can prolly give sheep my hairstyle!"

"Hn…" Sasuke muttered, looking bored at the tool that he was given.

Ohno groaned. The kids were kinda getting on his nerves. They were too weird.

"Damnit… it stinks!" all the genin muttered as they entered the pigsty. All of them immediately covered their noses, and Sasuke, as stone faced as he was during the whole mission, was showing signs of utter disgust. It was pretty much the first time any of them saw the Uchiha have a crinkled nose.

Ohno laughed. The smell didn't bother him much… and not because he was used to it. On his face was a mask, which blocked out most of the smell out. Plus, watching a bunch of ninja kids apparently gagging on this early, he wanted to see what would happen later when they would have to return for the last task.

"Alright, no complaints!" the farmer shouted, muffled somewhat behind his mask. "Feeding is pretty simple…"

After feeding the pigs, the next step was getting all the eggs that the chickens have laid. After all the complicated messthat the genin had to pass through, this job was sort of easier than the rest. What could be easier than grabbing a few eggs from a bunch of flightless birds?

It was, apparently, not that easier since the chickens were probably half demons. They pecked, pecked, and pecked anyone to death. The genins were so unsure how to react when a whole mob of feathered masses conglomerated together in form not dissimilar to mass protest and charged after them like soldiers. It wasn't long before chaos reigned.

"This… is… insanity!" Sakura shouted as one of the chickens dove towards her forehead, and pecked it.

"No… this… IS… CHICKEN HELL!" Naruto shouted, trying to by-pass a few feathered and mad animals.

"Eye on the prize! Eye on the prize!" Buds shouted as he sidestepped the flurry of Kentucky's proud victims.

"Stupid… feathered… prinny-like… imbeciles!" and the chickens immediately swarmed Laharl.

Electrical charged swarmed Ami, which the chickens immediately avoided as her eyes narrowed, and her tone darkened, addressing them, "Do you know what happens to chickens when they are struck by lightning?" Her smile turned evil. "I eat them for breakfast."

Sasuke was just quiet. The chickens had surrounded him, looking at him oddly. It was not before long that they just sat there near him, relaxing. One chicken found itself atop of Sasuke's head.

"Well, I knew it when I started to call him Chicken Butt that it meant something," Naruto's voice called, earning a twitch from his Uchiha teammate. "Keep attracting all the chicks, Sasuke! Your sacrifice will ensure our mission's success!"

"Hn…" Sasuke stated. He looked around, and sure enough, the mass of chickens were slowly coming towards him, and relaxing. Well, he was thankful. At least they were chickens. Girls on the other hand…

There was only one job left, and it was the worst thing that the genins have ever faced today. Enduring the perverted butt-slaps of Ohno, milking a cow, then shearing sheep, face the unstoppable odor of the pig sty, and finally facing off the murderous chickens, the last part was probably worse than all the five tasks combined.

Now they had to clean the pigsty after the pigs finished eating. If it stunk before, now… it was just lethal.

"No. Way." Sasuke huffed, looking at all the genins with his patented death glare, something he had not used for a while.

"It's the last task," Buds stated, but before he could even talk about dealing with it, Ami growled and shut him up.

"There is no way I'm going in there anymore," the older genin muttered. "And if anyone tries to force me in… I'll fry them."

Sakura could only hold her mouth, trying to keep her lunch from going out the wrong way. Laharl looked somewhat disgusted at the place. The only genin who looked remarkably calm was Naruto. Heck, he was smirking.

"Ne, ne…" he started, earning the attention of all genin. "Let's start a competition!"

The first reaction was typical. Laharl looked uninterested. Ami and Sakura looked at the blonde with curiosity, while Buds had a thoughtful look. The only genin who seemed to take up on what Naruto had just said was Sasuke, whose eyes dove immediately towards Naruto, and then towards his brother.

"Naruto…" Sakura sighed. Seriously, the blonde had ridiculous ideas. "Did it ever occur to you that we are in a mission right now?

"Yeah, seriously. This is silly. What are you trying to-" Ami was cut off when her teammates responded to the blonde's statement.

"What are you proposing?" Buds asked.

"Hey," Ami looked towards him. "You're not seriously gonna listen to this?"

"Competition between two teams!" Naruto declared. "Losers will have to clean up the pig sty!"

"WHAT!?" Sakura shouted.

"Now we're talking!" Ami declared. If the kid could was proposing a way for her not to do the job, she was all in.

Sasuke looked up. His hands started to shake with some anticipation. "What kind of competition?"

"Anything goes taijitsu spar between the representatives of the two teams," Naruto declared. "No ninjutsu, no bloodline, no genjutsu. Weapons permitted, but try not to kill each other. Wins by KO, or submission! Whatcha say?"

"Sounds good," Buds declared, his eyes not moving away from the blonde.

"Hey, hey!" Sakura exclaimed, trying to get the conversation back from insanity. "Come on! We can't do this! What will our senseis say?"

"I say it's a good idea," Kakashi's voice came out behind them, shocking the pink haired kunoichi. She fell on her backside, stunned.

Goh was beside Kakashi, though he was giving an encouraging nod. "I'll be the referee," he stated.

"I guess its time to vote for your representatives then," Kakashi recalled. "So, who against who?"

"Of course… I vote for Sasuke-kun!" Sakura exclaimed.

"Seconded," Naruto nodded, smiling and without missing a beat.

Kakashi rolled his eyes at that. So this was it, eh? Naruto did not even try covering his involvement. Anyone who knew him then knew this was all part of his plan.

"Team 9?" Goh called.

Laharl shrugged, not interested, but Ami looked prepared to move forward. There was no way she'd skip such opportunity. Cleaning the pigsty was not on her list. She would quickly finish the pompous Uchiha off, get off cleanly and enforcing the disgusting job towards the opposing team… or so she thought. Beating her to the punch was Buds, who, to her surprise, actually took up on the challenge.

"What the hell are you doing?" Ami whispered. This was unlike her companion, remembering his actions when they first met. He'd sooner run from a fight, unless he was pretty much cornered.

"I want to fight him," Buds whispered back. "Besides… Naruto told me Sasuke wants to try me out."

Ami snorted. Boys. "If you lose, I will skin you alive. No joke," she growled, before backing off.

"Ah… so, Uzumaki Tenshin, and Uchiha Sasuke," Kakashi stated, ignoring Buds trying to correct him (he hates being called Tenshin). "This will be interesting. So… any of the parties disagree? Loser's team will clean up the pigsty. Agreed?"

"Agreed," both genins stated, without taking eyes off each other, assessing, psyching themselves.

"Wait! Wait!" Naruto suddenly called. "I forgot the best part!"

All eyes turned towards the blonde who suddenly held up a maid dress. Everyone wondered for a moment what it was for before Naruto dropped the bombshell…

"Loser will have to wear this when he's gonna clean the pig sty!"

Back at the Hidden Leaf village, the Hokage suddenly looked up when he thought he heard a rather loud battle cry. Or maybe it was a shout of disbelief? Never minding that, the old man went and started stamping more papers, wondering when he can finally go outside again.

"I'll kill you, dobe," Sasuke muttered, looking murderously at the blonde.

Before the fight, Kakashi had ordered the two to go to their respective teams and Sasuke was looking at the blonde Uzumaki who just turned this simple sparring contest into something more fiercely competitive. No male genin, or female one for the matter would be caught dead wearing such a ridiculous dress!

"Eh, if you don't wanna wear it, then win," Naruto explain, shrugging his shoulders like this was an everyday thing. "Besides… look at Sakura. She isn't complaining."

Well, she probably was not conscious as well. The only thing she had been doing ever since Naruto had added a stipulation was gape in her place, with her mouth opening and closing like a goldfish.

"Whatever…" Sasuke muttered. He looked at Naruto for a moment, and was about to say something to him, when he just opted to turn around, and face off against his teammates brother.

"Sasuke… get him early. The longer the fight takes place, the higher the chance that he'll win this one," Naruto whispered, just audible enough for the Uchiha. Sasuke never replied, but the blonde knew that he heard him.

"Shinobis, at the centre," Goh called. Buds and Sasuke looked at each other with neutral expressions, while their respective teams watched at the sidelines. The jounin-sensei of Team 9 nodded, and then restated the rules.

"One on one battle. Anything goes except bloodline limits, ninjutsu, and genjutsu. Winner by KO or submission. Being down for ten seconds is considered a KO. Any questions?"

The two boys shook their heads.

"Then… Fight!"

Sasuke dove for his shuriken pockets, and immediately threw them towards their intended target. Metal whizzed through the air, and met metal as Buds drew out his kunai to defend himself from the incoming attacks. Like a spring, fully loaded, the raven-haired Uchiha dashed forward immediately, his own kunai out, and he began his attack.

The teams watched with reserved awe as the two kunais met each other with enough force to cause a few sparks to appear here and there. Ami looked somewhat pleased, half-expecting Buds to chicken out. She knew he was skilled in combat, having fought him to know that, but it was probably the first time she could see how good he actually is. Keeping up with the Uchiha prodigy, he may actually make it through, and save her the trouble of skinning him.

Oops, she seemed to have thought too soon. Sasuke got the first clean hit in, one punch towards his opponent's face with enough force to make Buds reel in pain. The Uchiha had thrown his kunai as a means of distraction, and when the brown-haired Uzumaki blocked the projectile, only to receive the first clean hit of the fight when the projectile turned out to be a feint.

"It's starting," Naruto whispered quietly, seriously.

"Ha! I knew Sasuke-kun could beat your brother so easily!" Sakura stated, finally out of her goldfish act, cheering loudly towards her crush.

"What are you talking about?" Naruto asked quietly. "Sasuke's on the path of losing."

"HAH! You're just being a sore loser!" Sakura stated, forgetting that Naruto had a stake with this competition as well.

"What do you mean by it Naruto?" Kakashi asked, curious, ignoring the pink haired kunoichi.

"Check out Buds' legs, Kakashi-sensei," the blonde boy pointed out.

The jounin looked carefully, and realized what Naruto was pointing out. Those who did not know what to look for would completely miss it, but to Kakashi, it was clear as day. As Sasuke went for another hit towards his enemy, Buds' legs and knee would bend slightly on impact.

"He's… he's negating the damage," Kakashi concluded with a hint of awe.

"Not completely, but yeah…" Naruto pointed towards Team 9. "Laharl knows… I don't know about Ami-san, but Laharl recognizes the motion. Like a spring, the legs and knees take the energy all through his body and towards the ground. He's probably feeling only twenty percent of the total damage that Sasuke's dishing on him."

"Even so…" Kakashi continued to look, as Buds tried to counter Sasuke's attacks, only to narrowly miss and take a hit in return. "He can't win the battle through attrition. Didn't you say your brother was more skilled than you are? I just don't… oh… whoa."

"You caught on?" Naruto smirked.

Kakashi just nodded.

Sasuke again dodged the pathetic attempt to hit him, and stretched out his hands with a backhanded punch to whip Buds again with a clean hit. He had been wondering for a moment if the blonde Uzumaki just set him up… there was no way he could claim that Buds was stronger than he was. It was utterly ridiculous! He whipped his hand again, moving his whole body with the attack, twisting his legs as he came in for the coup de grace, only to take a hard hit on the face.

Sakura and Ami gasped in surprise. The Uchiha received a hit. A hard one at that. They didn't even see the punch. Laharl could only smirk somewhat when he realized what happened.

"Counter punch. Seems like he's going for boxing," the purple-haired Uzumaki declared.

"Boxing?" Ami asked.

Buds' arms were now on his sides, his legs were springing up and down as he dashed forward, not waiting for Sasuke to recover. Two devastating punches hit the raven-haired genin hard on the body, and a very hard right hand tagged him on his face, forcing him down.

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura shouted, not knowing what just happened.

"It's over," Naruto stated.

Goh did not need to count to ten because Sasuke was up automatically. His face washed with animated expressions, ranging from shock, anger, and disbelief. He glared at his enemy for a moment, checking out the change of fighting style.

Buds was now looking at Sasuke with an unreadable expression, his hands raised towards his neck, his body moving from side to side, flickering somewhat, while his front leg was planted firmly on the ground. His hind leg was on its toes, bouncing on its heel.

Cocking his hand again, Sasuke ran towards the brown-haired Uzumaki only to meet with a straight jab at his face, stopping his tracks. Then, again, another body shot hit him. The Uchiha retreated, knowing full well he couldn't take another one of those punches unless he wanted his ribs to break, but before he could even widen the gap, Buds shifted his feet, moved forward, hitting the raven-haired boy's body with his shoulder. Stunned, Sasuke looked hard as he saw the Buds finally finish off his attack with a swift upward strike towards his chin.

The blow didn't land completely, but it was a clean hit. Only Kakashi and Goh noticed it. To the other genins watching, and even Sasuke thought, the punch was a near miss as the Uchiha jumped away. It wasn't until his legs gave out when he landed did everyone realize the effect of Buds' last attack.

For Sasuke, the whole world suddenly turned topsy-turvy, like the picture in the TV swirling when the there was something wrong with it. He could not regain his balance… he could not even feel his arms. There was something scary about the experience, although quite different from the one he felt when he faced his brother those many years ago, but still, enough to make him slightly shiver uncontrollably.

"You lost," Buds stated

Sasuke looked up; his train of thoughts derailing when he realized his opponent was standing in front of him. In his view, Buds looked odd, swollen in some places, and shrunken in another. He tried to shake his head, fix his vision.

"Don't force it. It was a good fight," the genin in front of the Uchiha declared. "Challenge me again next time."

Sasuke was about to say something towards his opponent, but he could not find the words. He watched as the wobbly figure of Uzumaki Tenshin fade from his view, and a few moments later, he saw Kakashi's deformed face.

"Scary kid," Kakashi whispered. "He allowed you to hit him just to measure your attack strength, your offensive range, and even your fighting style. When the time came, he used all the information he gathered to quickly end the fight."

"What do you mean, sensei?" Sakura's voice came. She must be behind Sasuke because she did not see her.

"He used a pretty unorthodox fighting style for ninjas… boxing. A style concentrates on fists, and leg movement. While it may seem limiting, the style essentially calls for speedy and devastating punches, forgoing the principle of standard taijitsu that students learn in the academy," Kakashi explained.

"Which is?" Naruto asked, wanting to hear his sensei's explanation. While he knew the style, the technical bits he never tried to study upon as he felt it was boring to learn. The fact that it works was more than enough for the blonde.

"I… I want to know too," Sasuke muttered, the whole world finally going back to normal.

"Can you stand?" the jounin asked.

Sasuke nodded, and with some help, stood up.

"Now… punch me," Kakashi ordered.

Sasuke did not even acknowledge the command, just cocked his arm back before he felt a very light tap on his cheek. His eyes widened in surprise as he realized Kakashi beat him to the punch, literally.

"That's how he beat you. With enough training, you won't need to have wasted motions like cocking your arm to create enough momentum to do a forceful attack. You let your legs, knees, hips and shoulders, elbows and even wrist to do it for you," Kakashi explained. "Boxing specializes in that."

Sasuke's eyes widened. It was true. He recalled back to the fight, and realized how incredibly compact his opponent's body was during the fight. He was also sure that at pure speed, he had the edge, but the fact that he had to cock back or dash on his attacks made it useless when Buds' punches just came forward without any wasted movements. No matter how fast he was, his opponent's attack was faster because it came from shorter distances. He could also remember, somewhat, how his opponent's body shifted with each attack… he could learn from that!

"… I…" Sasuke looked at Buds, who rejoined Team 9. His opponent was given a very hard tap from the kunoichi of their team, while the last Uzumaki brother, Laharl, rolled his eyes. "He said I could challenge him again," he whispered.

"Well, that's good," Naruto nodded. "It means Buds likes you. In a non-yaoi manner."

"Hn," Sasuke muttered, looking down. He didn't want to say it, but he was looking forward to that. Unknowingly, he had learned something valuable to add to his taijitsu style… and next time, he'll be much more ready for Uzumaki Tenshin.

"And since you lost, Sasuke-chan…"

The raven-haired genin's eyes widened when Naruto called him with the 'chan' suffix. He then remembered what exactly he brought upon himself.

Ami could only snicker so loud. Her hands surrounded her sides, as each laugh made her ribs hurt so much, but even in pain, she could not stop laughing. Laharl looked with a raised eyebrow, but after a while, he could only nod, giving an approving thumbs-up (to everyone's surprise). Buds looked embarrassed though glad; he was not the one wearing the dress right now. Farmer Ohno, who just joined in, could not help himself but roll on the ground, laughing like there was no tomorrow.

Sasuke's cheeks went red with embarrassment. The dress fit him… too well, in fact. Even without make-up, Kakashi commented his worst fears.

"Wow… you make a pretty cute girl, Sasuke-chan."

Naruto slapped his knee hard, howling with pure, undiluted laughter of joy. This was probably the best day of his life. It was so worth cleaning the pigsty. This was it. The best. Nirvana. Heaven! The great Uchiha Sasuke in a French maid dress, complete with ruffles, and boots.

"S-s-s… service with a…" Naruto snorted, "… smile!"

Sasuke glared at the blonde boy.

"Oh, don't be such a tsundere!" Ami howled out once more with laughter.

Sasuke had enough. He was about to shout at everyone laughing at him when he saw Sakura's punch-drunk face. Her serene look towards him was scarier than those obsessive looks she had given him during their tenure in the academy. And was it his imagination that the girl was now bleeding from her nostril!?

Goh looked towards the pink-haired kunoichi, and slowly tapped her forehead. She just sprawled on the floor, unconscious.

"Uzumakis…" Sasuke growled, looking towards the blonde that put such a ridiculous stipulation on what supposed to be was a simple sparring, and towards Buds, who looked away. The Uchiha's eyes turned rather murderous. "I'm going to kill you!!!"

However, they ignored his death threat. The laughter was too loud for it to make the threat… intimidating. Team 9 watched as Team 7 (or at least technically Team 7 as Sakura was still knocked out) clean the sty. Naruto had his clones help with the bulk of the cleaning, and Sasuke was still aflame from embarrassment. He was receiving mock wolf calls from Ami who was so far still enjoying the whole thing, and was writing something on her notebook.

The Uchiha did not want to know. He did not care. He wanted out of his dress. He wanted out of this pigsty. He wanted to disappear, and as the laughter grew louder, he was tempted to add on his ambition list to kill a certain blonde for embarrassing him like this.

Still… he calmed down somewhat. It was only for one day. No permanent harm done. Right?

The next day, in front of the Hokage Tower, the people noticed someone had built a small wooden kiosk. Behind it was Naruto, with a few of his shadow clones calling people around them to approach.

Curious, most civilians and some approached.

"Come one come all!" Naruto called. "Feast your eyes on these! Classical! Rare! Once in a lifetime only! See your idol take the step he had never took before… see the heroic Uchiha dress up in a maid costume, just for you!"

All the young kunoichis suddenly flocked in, interested. They were shocked and awed when they had spotted the pictures. The blonde Uzumaki wasn't kidding! There it was… clear as day. Pictures of Uchiha Sasuke in a very fashionable maid outfit he had worn on the farm yesterday… but oddly, the pictures weren't taken from the farm. Nor did he actually do such ridiculous poses.

One had Sasuke holding a bunch of flowers, looking at the camera demurely. One had him spreading his arms towards the camera, inviting for an embrace. One had him throwing a kiss. And the others were even more ridiculous poses, which was more than enough for the rabid fan girls who were still shell-shocked to see such pictures of their idol.

Naruto's clones were busy as the mob of rabid fan girls grabbed their wallets out and began purchasing. The real Naruto sat at the back, fanning himself with paper bills as more customers arrived.

"Nyahahaha!" Naruto laughed slightly, feeling proud. That was rather easy money… and all it took was a henge and a few pictures. He was making a killing.

"Yo… what are you doing?" Kakashi called, arriving with Team 7. They were looking for their missing teammate, and when they found him, he was in the midst of a mob of girls, purchasing something from him.

Sasuke said nothing, only looking towards the kunoichi's shouting towards Naruto's clones, shouting for pictures, and giving money. Curious, he took a cautious step forward, looking at what the blonde had been peddling… and his eyes widened as he realized what was being sold.

"WHAT!?" Sasuke dashed towards the blonde, pushing aside the girls who were surprised at his arrival. His jaw dropped. "Wha… how… where…"

Then it hit him. His eyes went narrow, promising to maim and murder his target. Uzumaki Naruto. He couldn't stop shaking.

"U…zumaki…!" Sasuke growled, his hands going together, ready to form seals as he went for a fire jutsu. He was going to fry the blonde and those pictures he had been selling in one swift stroke.

"Uh… Sasuke… you do know you just dove into a nest of your fan girls?" Naruto asked dumbly, slightly surprised at the Uchiha's appearance.

There was a momentary pause as the raven-haired genin realized what Naruto had been saying was true. It was not long before Naruto's little picture sale was forgotten as the real deal appeared right in front of the fan girls' very eyes. The scream of awe had reached every corner of the village and a torturous roar followed. A cloud of dust rose as a stampede found its way on the streets, one very pissed off looking Sasuke on the lead, escaping from a pack of wild fan girls, leaving behind a rather peeved looking Naruto, who began to pick up the merchandise he had been trying to sell.

"Well… what did you know," Naruto sighed, calling his clones. "He just had to ruin it…"

Then, there was a heavy feeling of dread as the blonde Uzumaki felt a cold chill go down his spine. One very strong hand swiftly came down towards his head, locking him in place. Naruto chuckled nervously, knowing full well who had just grabbed him. He slowly turned his head, and saw the scary face of his teammate, Sakura.

"Uh… hehehe… hi Sakura," the blonde greeted nervously.

"How much?" Sakura whispered, deathly silent.

"Um… for you… I'll give Teammate Discount," Naruto declared.

"Good boy."

To Be Continued

Omake 1

Sakura looked at her chest, and towards the cow. She touched her chest, and then gently touched the cow's udders. She sighed. She pretty much hated it when Naruto was right.

Omake 2

Morino Ami giggled as she slowly began to shade her drawing. Her eyes moved, right and left, her mind slowly thinking as she began to draw a conversation bubble on her drawing. Buds' brother was a frigging genius. Next comic-con, she had finally something to give with her group.

Maybe some expansion on the plot here and there, and maybe some colors, but… oh, crap. Taking out her black eraser, she began to erase her slight mistake. She began to laugh as her little doujin began to take form. This will be an instant hit.

He is Uchiha's Master

Hmmm… maybe the title was a bit too much, but the drawing of Sasuke in a maid uniform, collar and a leash. This will be the yaoi fangirls' wet dreams.

Morino Ami knew she was going to make a killing.

Author's Notes:

Well, there you go. Two chapters at once… or at least I did both at once. My editor was too busy to edit this one for me, so I gone and did it myself. I separated them because the first one was actually a side story, a supplement on the plot timeline. Not very accurate, but I promise as the story goes, it'll be explored somewhat. I also want to give a warning as the next chapter (if there will be one) will explore the Wave Arc… and I'm pretty much empty of jokes. It may get somewhat more serious then. So… take care guys. Later.