There are times when Axel wishes he has a heart.

Not for the petty reason of feeling whole, as per the other members of the Organization. But for the singular reason that he can truly mean the words he whispers to this golden boy that had appeared in front of him; three words, eight letters. So when he murmurs into XIII's ears that single phrase, he can put his entire being into it.

Without a heart, the words are hollow.

The others laugh when they hear him say they're best friends. Nobodies cannot feel emotion, they say. They do not like each other or hate the others. They're merely accomplices to one giant plot to gain their hearts and become whole again.

Axel laughs and says that of course he knows that. The blonde came up with the notion, he replies, and that he was merely trying to make the younger Nobody think that he was happier so he wouldn't get any newfangled ideas and attempt to divert the Organization from their goal.

But he thinks back, remembers the heavy blush covering XIII's cheeks when he first spelled out those eight letters with his voice, said those three words. Wished he could mean that one phrase. The boy had rushed off, ears as red as the sunset seen from the tower Axel later found him atop, licking dejectedly at a brightly colored popsicle.

Axel said something about knowing he'd be here, and the other Nobody nodded and gestured for the redhead to sit. When he did, XIII began to speak, an uncharacteristically long, rambling speech about hearts and emotion and how they're Nobodies and he can't possibly mean what he said.

Axel felt his metaphorical heart break until the boy's next words. That if Axel really could mean those eight letters, those three words, then he would too. The taller Nobody had clutched at the younger's shoulders, blindly pressing hot lips onto cold skin, searching for the other's mouth with his own.

XIII--no, Roxas--smiled and lightly pushed Axel away, then pulled the other down so their lips correctly met. It was awkward and close-mouthed, but Axel had then thought it was perfect and absolutely thrilling.

The ice cream, forgotten, slipped from Roxas's gloved hands and splattered on the cobblestones below and onto a silver-haired teenager's expensive boots.

831

When Roxas leaves, Axel wants to call after him, say those eight letters, those three words that he wishes he could truly mean. But that single phrase stops in his dry throat as the blonde walks away. And all Axel can say is that he'll miss Roxas, almost too quiet for his golden boy to hear.

And then XIII is out of sight and Axel's metaphorical heart shatters.

831

After Axel gives his entire being into one final attack, he finds himself rambling to this Roxas look-alike about the blonde boy making him feel like he had a heart. He says that the look-alike makes him feel the same, then quickly diverts the subject to the brunet's friend and where she is.

He can feel himself beginning to fade away, still without a heart. He thinks back on the days he and his best friend had together, beginning with attempting to bring Roxas back to Organization XIII and ending with their first meeting. He remembers arriving at the gates of the old abandoned mansion that gives him the creeps but somehow feels like home (but home for him is in Roxas's arms) and being given his name and his coat, his duties. He remembers the snippets of his past life, from Ela attempting to fight off the Heartless and dying, to a small boy setting fire to ants on the sidewalk with a magnifying glass.

He remembers his entire life in reverse.

But his final thought, before he slips away into the comforting darkness, is eight letters. Three words. One phrase: I love you.

And he thinks he hears a familiar voice, thick with ribbons of honey and salt and laughter and love, saying the same thing.

Then there is nothing.

X 831 X

Axel can never seem to bring himself to say the one phrase his many girlfriends want to hear. He cannot say it to his mother or his father or his older brother. He thinks maybe in a past life, he'd been an old man with no love in his life, and that is why.

But suddenly there's a new set of students in the middle of January, and one of the twins is in his Chemistry class. When he sees this golden boy that has appeared in front of him, he can't help but ask him to be his lab partner.

That night, he dreams of fire and light. A strange story involving him and his new lab partner, and his partner's twin. There are giant keys used to bludgeon strange creatures to death. And in the morning, his throat springs to action before he even manages to stumble into the shower.

"I love you, Roxas."

Disclaimer: I do not make any money off this fanfiction; Axel, Roxas and the entire Kingdom Hearts franchise belongs to Square Enix and Disney.

Ahaha, it's 3:30 in the morning. I'm tired.

This particular notion came from a thought I had yesterday. It blossomed into this after I decided to kill my hand drawing and coloring Olette.

Comments? Questions? Want to say I suck? Go right ahead and press the button down there.