You had me in chains.

X

MALFUNCTION. BY. IMPERVIOUS MARR.

X

I. CRUMBLE

X

"H-Hello, Ichigo."

The motion of his two fingers oddly pleased him. It was in a strange, strange way that he decided that he didn't want to think about.

"… Ichigo?"

He saw the silhouettes behind the thin paper he held in front of his eyes. It depicted a rabbit's head with his two fingers up as the heads, twitching erratically.

"… W-What are you doing, Ichigo?"

He let down his hands slowly, and then looked up with an impassive look on his face. "Absolutely nothing." He cocked his head to the side and pursed his lips. Why do they feel the need to ask when they could obviously see? They should word the question better. 'I don't understand what you're doing' would be a better choice.

Well, they never really did try to.

Just like when he doesn't try to understand his own actions and words.

But he already stopped trying to understand empathy anyway.

"What are you doing, Rukia?" he asked, maybe with a little bit of snide and a little bit of spite that never failed to make anyone flinch slightly. She was no different. It was maybe, just maybe, a little bit amusing and downright cold-hearted of him.

Let's start again.

He stopped understanding empathy anyway.

"I just wanted to see you, Ichigo."

Ichigo's eyes slanted just a little bit to the side and he chuckled.

"Why's that? You see enough of me."

"That's in the screens and not in person," she spoke quietly, wringing her hands on her outfit. Her hair was in a mess and strands stuck out in twenty different directions, not much unlike his own hair. Her eyes spoke of dead. "I'd rather see you in person."

"That's very nice of you," Ichigo observed. He hated it when they watched him through the screens. They thought that he couldn't see them behind the screen – well, he didn't, but he fucking knew when they were there every single time. "But this is the first time you came here yourself to see me 'in person'. What's the rush, huh? And keep in mind."

He pointed at himself.

"I don't have my restraints."

The room wasn't stifling enough that he felt like screaming, but he screamed enough for amusement and it made his voice turn harsh and raspy.

"I didn't ask for them to restrain you."

"How brave," Ichigo replied sarcastically, and sat back down. "So, like I said – what's the rush? Is it my birthday? That'll be great. I deserve a present for behaving so well so far."

Rukia ignored it, but obviously with great difficulty. "I-I just – I needed time. I'm sorry, Ichigo –"

"So, let's start again." Ichigo started to fold his own paper. The creases were perfect because he had a lot of practice.

"Start what again?" slipped out of Rukia's lips and Ichigo laughed, because he knew that Rukia didn't mean for that to come out. He knew that Rukia didn't mean for that to come out because little Ichigo here would use it and twist it to his heart's content. He'll twist it so hard and so deep that she can't even scream.

He didn't exactly remember when he started to become a little bit of a bastard and a little bit of a downright asshole.

Maybe when they refused that leash on him years ago.

"Start again, of course." If Rukia wanted to think he was playing around, then she scored it right. "So, what are you doing?"

"I told you, I wanted to see you. And I'm sorry for not -"

"Don't talk to me as if I don't listen, bitch," Ichigo said nonchalantly, creasing his own eyebrows in thought as he folded the paper in half and turned it inside out. Then he held it up, and saw that Rukia's eyes were a bit too bright. "It's pretty, isn't it? So let's start again. And again, until I'm satisfied. How do you like them apples?"

"I don't like it very much," she gritted out, looking to the side. Ichigo frowned.

"Well you invited yourself into my place, sweetheart. Keep in mind that even though you know me a bit more than everybody else, doesn't mean I'm gonna go easy on you." He grinned toothily. "You gotta keep up with the program and you gotta be smart. Now, isn't it pretty?"

A paper crane.

"Yes. Yes it is." And Ichigo knew that suddenly, Rukia wasn't too sure about what she was answering in the first place.

Ichigo couldn't help but chuckle.

"Don't worry. You ain't the first or the last. What are you doing here, Rukia?"

She broke off a sudden sob with a choke. It wasn't as impressive as Ichigo thought everybody would think it was. Hell, at least she didn't cry yet like the other chick on that other day at that other place.

"I came to see you," she replied. Ichigo smirked.

"I told you to be smart. What are you doing here, Rukia?"

She shut her eyes and opened them. "Looking at you. Gods, I'm just sorry, Ichigo. I know I should've been one of the first to see you and I – I just couldn't look at you before, like this."

A long pregnant pause with a whole lot of tension came up next.

The silence made Rukia look up with hope that maybe Ichigo would understand.

Wrong thing to do. He grinned ruthlessly.

"Finally you're being smart. Sorry but sorry ain't gonna get you anywhere in here. My place; my rules." Ichigo stood up and approached the girl slowly, eyes narrowed into slits and a grin that should look out of place but it didn't. "So let's start again."

The repetition made the black-haired girl step away, arms snaking protectively around her. She was breathing so erratically that Ichigo couldn't help but laugh a grating sound that would hurt anybody's ears.

"Why are you doing this, Ichigo?" she asked with eyes shut and unbelieving.

"It's always fun getting you all to back to the wall."

"This isn't you. Please come back."

"Now, now. Everyone says that and they think it's gonna change me. Come on, Rukia, you're not that incompetent. Show some brains."

"But this really isn't you! Why do you –" She cut off with a slight sound. "Why do you do this? We can let you go, we can help you be you again, and you know this. Why do you want to stay in here?"

"If you hadn't realized, sweetheart, I wanted this when I wanted it and you didn't give it to me then," Ichigo replied, strangely hollowed. "Like I said, keep up with the program. The one serious thing I asked for and you didn't believe me. Nobody did."

"But we didn't know you'd do – that."

"Yeah, proves just how much you do know, huh? Like I kept on telling you." He placed the paper crane down and a finger on his head, his hand in the shape of a gun. "Bang. Like I told everybody else. Bang. I told you and everybody else. I said I was going fucking insane with a fucking alter ego. I told you guys I wasn't safe, that I needed treatment, at least something to keep him inside."

"You never broke before! Nobody broke before – so we're bound to –"

"Laugh it off? Joke about it that little Ichigo's going delusional?" Ichigo chuckled sardonically. "Hey, hey, and guess what. I wasn't fucking delusional. Waking up in a hospital bed with my fucking sisters' blood still under my fingernails isn't exactly the most assuring thing to wake up to."

"But –"

"And the fucking hangover was pretty nice, too."

Yeah, a hangover where he found out what really happened.

He didn't stop screaming that day and the fucking tears didn't stop until he knocked himself out cold by slamming his head into the wall. It took three sickening cracks to black out. By then he already tore half his skin off with his fingernails by scratching and clawing everywhere in anguish.

He still had the scars. They never healed very well.

"Ichigo. Please."

"Hey, the nightmares are pretty awesome. I see them almost every night."

Ichigo… Why…?

Your brother ain't here tonight, ladies.

And they looked at him as if he was a –

Rukia buried her face into her hands. "Please, Ichigo. It wasn't –"

Ichigo leaned in, sighing without feeling as he whispered in Rukia's ear.

"I can hear them scream in my ear, Rukia. I remember them tearing at my skin just to get away. I remember them falling limp and I remember the blood everywhere."

He spread his arms out, looking indifferent, now.

"And; I remember them looking at me like I was a monster. Yuzu and Karin calling me a monster while I tore out their insides out with a grin on my face. You're looking at a monster, Rukia."

She didn't look up.

"I said, 'you're looking'. You're not looking. Look up, Rukia."

She still didn't look up. Ichigo bared his teeth, slamming his hand to the space beside Rukia's head. She stifled her scream.

"Oh don't worry, Rukia. I'm not gonna hurt you – at least physically. Even if I don't have my restraints, I don't hurt people physically. That – and they fucking put a collar on me so I can't do much. So come on."

She whimpered, shaking her head. Ichigo leaned in again to her ear, almost as if he wanted to whisper.

His breath stilled. Rukia's heart skipped a beat.

Then he slammed another hand beside her face, this time on the other side.

"Hello, Rukia!" Ichigo screamed suddenly, loud and harsh and it made Rukia scream because she was fucking terrified. God, she was fucking scared. "Nice to see you ain't deaf, fucking bitch!"

He laughed cruelly, eyes glinting.

"Stop it! Get away from me!"

"You wanted to see me, am I right, Rukia? So here you have it! You're seeing me!"

If there were any objects around, he would be throwing them now. He certainly looked like he wanted to do it.

He screamed again.

"Hello, RUKIA! Happy to see ME!?"

"But you know that it isn't your fault, Ichigo, no matter what happened!" she said frantically, going for the one thing that everyone thought would make him stop or realize that what he's doing is wrong or just something. "Please, just stop!"

No matter what happened?

He did pause.

He slowly stepped backwards. The male stuck his hands behind his ears and spread them out, twitching his fingers. He started to grin mockingly, a slow spread from one end of his face to the other.

"Now, now. What are you doing, Rukia?" he emphasized condescendingly. Before Rukia could choke out another cry, he scowled. "Get the fuck out, bitch."

"Ichigo, I'm sorry –"

"I told you already and I'm not fucking repeating it. Sorry but sorry ain't gonna get you anywhere in here. Now get the fuck out. I know what happened and fucking hell I'm not going to help you in anything."

He turned to the wall; the one-way window. He smirked lazily. When Ichigo spoke, there was a heavy undertone of scorn.

"You all must be enjoying the show. Thanks for sending in some amusement because I really needed it." He grinned, showing his sharp canines. "I'm not a fucking fucktard."

Rukia froze noticeably, unable to breathe.

There was a long, tense silence before the speaker on the wall blared out what he wanted to hear.

"We are in dire need of your assistance, Kurosaki. We sent in Rukia in hopes of establishing some sort of agreement between our sides."

"I'm not fucking stupid, like I said. I was the best in the business before, possibly still is. I could tell from the start when you came in and you wanted to 'see me' without my restraints that you fucking wanted something. That was your first mistake," Ichigo said coldly, crossing his arms. "Nobody ever sees me without me putting on my fucking restraints, even if she was my best friend before or some shit. Even if I won't hurt anyone physically, you still restrain me."

Rukia flinched, cutting into the conversation. "But I really did want to see you, Ichigo. I volunteered and… I'm so sorry. God."

Ichigo snorted inelegantly.

"And you think I wanted to see you, huh?" he asked snidely, and she ducked her head. He scoffed. "Whatever it was, I want you to get the fuck out. I'm not doing anything anymore."

"Kurosaki Ichigo, please reconsider."

Ichigo paused, tapping a finger against the side of his face; in a show of thinking. Clearly it was mocking at the end when he simply stuck out a middle finger at the window.

"How's this for an answer? Now leave me the fuck alone."

That done, he turned to the wall, picking up the paper crane he left earlier as he did so.

"I should make another paper crane, huh?" he asked dispassionately, throwing the new paper crane to his large and growing pile. There was some sort of bullshit that went around that if he made one thousand paper cranes he'll get to make a wish.

Hey, he wished for a lot of things.

But then again he wished that he could just die. Funnily enough they never seemed to let him kill himself.

He paused for a bit, and then grinned.

"You should, Ichigo. Why are you still here, Rukia?"

Then he hummed as Rukia stumbled away, traumatized and shocked to the core. He took no note of when the door closed, or when Rukia started to scream just outside his room, or when the medics outside were treating her shock; saying that it'll be okay and it'll be fine but goddamn, Rukia knew she wasn't going to be fine, not ever or ever, because she won't stop screaming.

It fucking hurts

But for Ichigo, there were three hundred and sixty five more cranes to go.

"Fly away, pretty bird. Fly far, far away.

But no way in hell I'm letting you go; this shotgun's aimed at you alone.

I'm gonna drag you back in to my personal hell; to things you never heard or said.

So fly real far away, hard and fast, never looking back and quick…"

He grinned, showing perfect teeth and a beautiful lie.

"… Nobody's gonna save you if you fall so hard you'll fucking break."

x

They were doing it again. As if he didn't know. They should know by now that they shouldn't stand behind that window which didn't even hide them much.

They should come inside the room. Even though he couldn't hurt them physically, there were always games he could play with his words. He liked it when they played along too, as if he was a little kid that needed to be entertained.

He needed to be entertained.

Rukia was amusing but not quite that much, even with the screaming, so he hoped they came in before he did something erratic.

Like talking to the screen itself. It was getting boring and he never did it before, but it was getting boring and he needed something not boring. He could always talk to the wall.

(But he always did that, always. The wall was getting a bit too friendly with him.)

"You guys are too slow," he said out loud, then looked directly into the screen, somewhere between that speck of dust and the bigger speck of dust. He ran a thumb across his lips in displeasure. "You guys are too slow," he repeated, eyes going wide and a humorless grin spread through his face as he said his next words sweetly. "Why don't you come in?"

The silence made him laugh cruelly, and he went on to making his 651st paper crane.

Three hundred and forty-nine more to go. He was running out of paper.

Maybe he should ask for some more.

"Kurosaki Ichigo," the speaker rang out, and Ichigo didn't stop folding. "Kurosaki –"

"I'm fucking listening," he snapped, folding what should be the wing in half.

"This is your last chance to do this willingly – otherwise, we'll have no choice but to force your hand."

"That's the best you can come up with? Force my fucking hand? By what?I ain't got anything to lose; ain't got anything to gain either."

"Ichigo – stop!"

Not anymore.

"You're a monster –"

Never, ever, ever again.

The fucking nightmares chasing me and hunting me down won't give it up.

"There is a life outside wallowing in your self-hatred, Ichigo." They raised their voice. Ichigo raised an eyebrow at the threatening tone. They weren't usually dumb enough to try something like that. "And there are ways we can break a man beyond what's possible."

"You're talking to me about breaking?" Ichigo asked dispassionately, narrowing his eyes. "And I don't want to live, if you hadn't noticed. Just give me a knife." Ichigo grinned, licking his index finger. "And I'll finish the job."

Then he threw the paper crane into the pile. Having done that, he promptly lied down on the floor and turned his back to the audience, which he knew, was currently sitting on the other side of that one way window and probably seething.

"But since I'm stuck here, I might as well get comfortable."

"Even if your mother is at our mercy?"

It struck a deeper chord in Ichigo than anything else they've ever said. He turned slowly towards the one-way window, lips parting wordlessly, eyes dilating maybe a bit slightly.

He wordlessly got up. The motion was smooth and languid and he walked slowly with careful steps towards the glass that separated his side and them.

"Violating my memory of my momma?" he reconfirmed with unblinking eyes.

"And your sisters. It's of no concern to us who your mother was. Willingly or otherwise, we will get your cooperation either way."

"So what did you do to her, huh?" he asked almost quietly. "And what're you gonna do to my sisters? Pull the fucking plug?"

"You call it 'violating', we call it 'exhuming and relocating' your mother. If you want her back, then by all means."

His lips then curved upwards and he almost looked normal.

Then he screamed.

"YOU'RE DEAD, YOU'RE DEAD, YOU'RE DEAD, DEAD, DEAD –"

He punched the wall with superhuman strength and speed, causing cracks on the surface of the glass.

"I'LL FUCKING KILL YOUR WIFE AND KIDS –"

Then he stopped with eyes wide and fingernails against the glass. His hands fell slowly to his side and he leaned closer and closer and closest –

Then he kissed the glass like a long lost lover.

"You motherfucking bitches," he whispered, smiling sweetly.

X

Isn't as easy as it seems; setting up my self-destruction.

My heart posing just to bleed;

Kick it down

And now

Malfunction.

X

A/N: ON EXPERIMENTAL STAGE. Might not even continue this! I claim poetic license!! XD I have no idea where this is going, to be honest, but I wanted to write about insane!Ichigo again. :D He's so awesome.

Um. I wasn't thinking straight when I wrote this down, and there are a lot of loose ends I need to tie up, but yeah. :O

Err, have a nice day everyone! Read and review, please.