Author's note: I apologize for the delay.

Credits: The title to the story, the closing lines, and a lot of inspiration came from "When I'm Gone" by 3 Doors Down.

Warning: The end of this chapter might be a bit fluffy/sappy. Oh well, I've accepted that, and I hope you can too! :) You might also need tissues again.

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The bright grass glistened in the late morning sun. A soft breeze rustled the trees and carried the scent of perfumed flowers of all varieties. The cheerful songs of several species of birds filled the air; they were the only sounds breaking the somber silence apart from an occasional sob. It seemed to Morgan that the birds were taunting him, rubbing their carefree joy smugly in his face. He shot hateful glares at them, but they happily continued singing. He couldn't help but wonder what they had to be so cheerful about. If they had to live like us they wouldn't be so happy, he thought bitterly. He looked back at the shiny bronze marker lying innocently against its brilliant green background. The black inscribed words hurt his eyes and heart every time he read them: Spencer Reid, PhD, October 12, 1981-July 16, 2008, Dearly Loved and Deeply Missed.

Seeing the name transported Morgan back to his last moments with his friend. He kept thinking about when Reid was alive and teasing him, then seeing his lifeless body on the floor of his apartment less than an hour later. His view of the plaque clouded with tears as visions of Reid's blood danced through his mind and sounds of Reid's last raspy breaths rang in his ears. The pleasantly warm day suddenly felt too hot, and the fragrant air pressed heavily against him. He felt dizzy and nauseous, and he squeezed his eyes shut against the painfully bright light. He vaguely heard his name within the noise swirling around him, but the voice was too distorted to recognize. Gentle fingers touched his face and carefully wiped the small tears that had leaked out. Soft words finally reached his ears, and he could hear Garcia whispering words of comfort. The words themselves were meaningless but the emotion behind them broke through the fog of grief enveloping him. He glanced down at her tear-stained face and gave a weak imitation of his usually dazzling smile.

"Hey Baby Girl," he said quietly.

"Hey there Hot Stuff," she replied. "The others are headed this way, and Gideon and Elle will be here in a few minutes."

"Ok." He straightened his shoulders and forced himself to look at anything other than the grave he stood beside. He took the opportunity to examine the cemetery around him. When they'd come to Quantico National Cemetery after Reid's funeral, he'd been too consumed with pain to notice anything. Now he got a chance to see just how beautiful the place was. Woods bordered the grounds, and large Dogwood trees sat strategically throughout the area. Reid's section was for flat markers, but in the distance, he could see the upright granite and marble headstones. The contrast of rows of light-colored stones against the manicured grass was breathtakingly beautiful yet unbelievably sad.

As he completed his study of the area, he glimpsed his team members approaching. JJ carried two dozen yellow roses. Hotch held a tiny digital camera; Emily had a card and some pens. Rossi walked a couple of steps behind them with his hands in his pockets. The group exchanged small smiles. JJ passed out roses as Garcia reached for the card. "Who's this for Sweetie," she asked as she pulled open the envelope?

"It's for us to send to Reid's mom," Emily replied as she handed Garcia a pen. Morgan and Garcia both looked surprised at the statement so she continued. "Hotch spoke to her nurse, and they thought it would be ok if we all wrote her something nice about Reid."

"Oh, ok then," Garcia replied. She planted a soft kiss on her flowers and gently placed them next to the grave marker, and then she took the card and pen over to the nearby bench. The others followed her after placing their own flowers. Morgan asked how the staff would explain the lack of letters from Reid himself.

"The nurse I spoke with said that they would keep recycling his old letters. They think that those, along with all the newspaper articles they have, will be enough to keep her from noticing the difference. They don't want to tell her unless it's necessary."

"Well that's understandable. There's no sense in upsetting the poor woman," Garcia responded. She capped the pen and held up the card for someone else to sign. JJ took it and sat down to write. Morgan suddenly remembered the camera, and he turned toward Hotch.

"Hey Hotch, what's with the camera?" He frowned as he noticed the slightly uncomfortable look on his team leader's face. "What is it?"

"I've been in contact with William Reid," he stated simply. Morgan felt a flame of anger rise in him at the mention of Reid's father. He saw similar looks of shock and resentment on JJ and Garcia's faces.

"What? Why?" Morgan was too upset to yell anything else.

"He's Reid's next of kin," Hotch answered in a tone that showed how little respect he held for that title. "He had the right to know his son was killed."

"He had no rights!" Morgan yelled in return. "He gave those up when he walked out."

"That's not for us to say Derek," Rossi supplied quietly.

Morgan turned to him in fury. "How can you say that? You don't even know the whole story!"

"Neither do you, Derek," Hotch said firmly. "We've only ever seen one side of things, and we can't make judgments on that."

"Like hell we can't!"

"Sweetie, take it easy," Garcia whispered as she placed a hand on his shoulder. "There's no use in getting upset."

"Besides, he's right Morgan," JJ supplied. "Even Reid didn't know why his dad left. We can at least find out the reason." She tipped her head in Hotch's direction as she spoke.

"Ok, what did he have to say for himself," Morgan asked bitterly?

"We didn't really talk about that, but he did seem regretful that he lost all of those years with Reid. I think the realization that he can't make that up now hit him hard."

"As it should," Emily muttered softly. Morgan nodded in agreement.

"Look guys, I know that it's easy to hate him, to be angry, but we've all made mistakes. Trust me; I know a lot about regret." That startling statement from Hotch slapped Morgan, and he realized that he might have been a tiny bit unfair. Only a little unfair though…

"Me too," an unexpected voice added. "I know what it's like to have something come between you and your child." Morgan looked up in surprise. He hadn't even heard Gideon and Elle come over. He noted the somber look in Gideon's eyes and equated it with the pain-filled tone of voice he used.

"Hey you guys," Garcia called to them as she walked over to hug Elle, who also had a rather haunted expression displayed.

"How did things go?" Emily asked hesitantly. They were all aware of what probably happened in Colorado. Morgan not-so-secretly supported the idea.

Neither responded for a moment, then Gideon sighed as Elle spoke. "Things went as planned," she said simply. There was no need for further explanation. Though Morgan couldn't help wanting a few details, he knew better than to press the issue for now. A slightly awkward silence prevailed for a few minutes, then Elle broke it by inquiring about the card. Upon hearing whom it was for, she took it eagerly. She smiled slightly, prompting Morgan to ask what she found amusing.

"I was just thinking about how much Reid looked like her," she said sadly. "I know that we only met her once, but somehow I feel connected to her."

"Well, she did come through for us," JJ replied, "just like Reid always did." They all smiled at that. She then turned to Hotch again. "So what happens to her now?"

This time Gideon answered. "Reid set up a fund for her, and all of his savings went into it when he died. Also, he had a good life insurance policy, so she'll be able to continue her care the way he wanted. You know, that was a big selling point for him to join the Bureau."

"That reminds me Jason, how did you get Reid into the BAU?" Rossi asked curiously.

"You've never heard the story?" Gideon replied. Rossi shook his head. "Well, he was eighteen and finishing up his second PhD. I gave a guest lecture in his Abnormal Psychology class. He was typical Reid-asking questions, quoting from my books. He was obviously younger than the others since it was a graduate-level class. I asked him to stay after so I could talk to him. We ended up going out for coffee. He told me about his degrees and his upcoming thesis defense. He was thinking about going for a third either in psychology or economics. I started telling him about the BAU and he was really interested. Of course, I knew there was no way to get him in so early, but I encouraged him to think about pursuing psychology if this was something he really wanted…" Gideon's words trailed off as memories played across his face. After a moment he continued the story.

"I left him my card. He called me a few weeks later, told me that his thesis was accepted. He also said that he'd researched the BAU, and the Bureau in general, and he felt that was somewhere he could really be useful. He decided to get his Doctorate in psychology to give him a better understanding of the field. He had enough scholarship money to stay at Princeton, but he wanted to apply for an internship at the Bureau, so he was debating moving to Georgetown. I suggested he try for the internship first, then decide where to go to school. As you already know, he got the position and moved to D.C. When he turned twenty I started talking to the Director about making an exception for him to enter the Academy. It probably wouldn't have worked if he hadn't been so far along in his thesis work. When the Director and other Section Chiefs looked over his research and published works, they realized what I was saying all along. They agreed he could enter the Academy at 21, and if he passed he could join the BAU under my direct supervision." Gideon paused again, and Morgan took the time to digest all the information. Some of it he knew already, but some parts were new to him. He couldn't help but be amazed at what Reid accomplished at such a young age, and saddened that he wouldn't get to do more. Morgan shook himself out of those dark thoughts when he realized that Gideon was speaking again.

"After Boston, I was concerned about what would happen to Reid while I was on leave. I really thought that they'd knock him back down to analyst level and he'd have to start over. Fortunately Aaron," he looked at Hotch as he spoke, "agreed to let him join his team until I returned. The rest you already know. By the way Aaron, I never thanked you for that."

"For what," Hotch asked?

"For trusting my judgment. I know you mostly agreed as a favor to me, and I appreciate that more than you know."

"It was no problem Jason, you know that. It turned out to be one of the better decisions I've made, so I think I came out pretty good on that deal." Hotch's slight smile and teasing tone made everyone laugh.

"Yeah, there's nothing like having your own gorgeous, talking encyclopedia to take with you on cases," Emily commented, and the group laughed even harder.

"Even if he could quote all of your books to the degree that it gets on your nerves," Rossi added with a smile. A memory of the twenty minute monologue Reid treated him to when they learned Rossi would be on the team played in Morgan's head. He'd teased Reid about his hero worship, but in reality it was nice to see that even a genius had someone to look up to.

"Or, that he could give you the entire history of football-complete with statistics-but not understand a minute of the actual game," JJ said with tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Or, that he could have a PhD in physic but not understand the concept of trick candles," Elle chimed in.

"How about the fact that he could make rockets out of film canisters on his desk, yet he somehow always managed to overfill the coffee pot," Garcia supplied through tears. As the laughter calmed down, they all unconsciously glanced toward "Reid's area" as they now called it. As Morgan's eyes appreciated the contrast of the yellow, green, and bronze, something triggered in his memory.

"Hey, Hotch, you never did say why you brought the camera. I assume you wanted a picture of the marker?"

Hotch looked at the camera in his hand for the first time since they arrived at the cemetery. "Yeah, I did. I was also thinking it would be nice to get a shot of all of us near it. I'm sending these to William, and to the staff at Bennington."

They agreed, and Hotch flagged down a worker to take the photos. After talking for a while longer, the group disbanded. Elle had to get back to New York for work, Hotch had to pick up Jack for the weekend, and JJ headed to catch her flight to New Orleans. Rossi left with them, and Emily followed a few minutes later. Garcia said goodbye to Gideon and kissed Morgan on the cheek before she left to meet up with Kevin.

Morgan sat on the bench beside Gideon. Neither of them spoke, but he could almost feel the grief radiating from Gideon. He was aware that part of that pain came from guilt. He was also aware that he hadn't helped the situation by yelling at Gideon the first chance he got. He decided to offer the small comfort that he could.

"He understood, Gideon," he stated simply. Gideon didn't respond but Morgan knew he heard the words. "He may not have liked the way you did it, but he knew why you had to leave."

"I shouldn't have….I should have thought it through some more. I knew about the letter his father left. Why did I do the same thing? I shouldn't have left like that."

"Maybe you shouldn't have, but it's over now. There's no use beating yourself up over it. Reid spent almost ten years living with guilt for getting help for his mom, but he did what he had to do. You did what you had to do. He got that, Gideon." He watched Gideon wipe a tiny tear from the corner of his eye.

"Yeah, you're right Morgan. I know that. I just feel terrible that his last memory of me was unpleasant. I'd do anything to change that but I can't." Gideon stood and stretched. "One positive side to this is that I've reconnected with my own son, Stephen. I've learned that life is too short for anger and resentment." Morgan nodded his agreement with a lump in his throat.

"That's great, Gideon, really. I hope things work out." He shook Gideon's proffered hand. "I guess I'll see you around sometime."

"Yeah, I'll be back. You guys won't see the last of me anytime soon."

"Good, I'm glad to hear it." He watched as Gideon took a last look at Reid's grave before he left the cemetery.

Morgan sat on the bench staring at the bronze marker as his entire history with Reid ran through his mind. Tears rolled down his face as he recalled the laughter, the frustrations, the statistics, the random quotes and endless rambles. The late afternoon sun faded into dazzling colors, then to dim blue lighting with several tiny stars peaking out. He noted that the area where he sat was lit by an ornate streetlamp. How appropriate, he thought; Reid didn't like the dark, and 'his area' will always have light. For some reason that he couldn't quite identify, the thought lifted a weight from his heart. He suddenly felt that he could cope with the loss of his friend. Of course he didn't like it, but now he could deal with it. He stood and stared at Reid's name glistening in the moonlight. He reached down and ran his fingers over the letters, memorizing the feel of each one. He stood up and took a final look around before slowly walking down the gravel path. The night air was cool, and he heard the sounds of crickets chirping in the distance. Unlike the birds from the morning, he didn't begrudge their singing. Instead, it provided a soothing backdrop for the journey to his car. He glanced up at the clear, dark sky and the tiny, bright stars, and he could almost hear Reid pointing out constellations to him.

When he started the car, a song he'd been playing a lot recently came on, and he couldn't help but relate to the sentiment behind them. "Roaming through this darkness, I'm alive but I'm alone. Part of me is fighting this, but part of me is gone. So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong. Hold me when I'm scared, and love me when I'm gone."

Author's note 2: I took some liberties with Reid's back story as we don't have all of those details.Thanks to everyone who supported this little detour. This ended up diffrently than I originally planned it, but I'm mostly happy with the results.