A small note: because of the subject the ages have changed: Peter just turned 18, Susan is 17, Edmund is 16, Lucy is 14. Also, though this story takes place after the events of Prince Caspian it does not follow the books or the movies at all.

Bittersweet Secret

Summary - Queen Susan the Gentle never wanted to leave Narnia or Caspian behind, but she knew she had to. When she returns home she comes back with something unexpected. She is known for being headstrong and doing things herself but she knows she can't go through this alone. She needs her families help, but they don't know about her secret.

Chapter 1

Sitting in second period History class was not what Susan Pevensie was looking forward to after returning from her latest adventure in Narnia. Everything seemed mediocre compared to Narnia, she just couldn't focus. The high windows of classroom 32-A were open, letting in the cool late-August breeze, but that wasn't what was distracting her. Her sparkling hazel eyes were not focused on her textbook, nor were her ears open to the not so secretive conversation between Lexi Kingsford and Amanda Hatfield about Christina Simmons' latest date.

On this day, surrounded by her studios peers, all Susan could focus on were the numerous memories of Narnia that filled her head like water being poured into a cup. During classes she would stare at her notebook and day dream, not only about the battles and the fun times she had ruling Narnia as Queen Susan the Gentle, but of the only man that was able to give her butterflies.

Caspian X.

She was instantly captivated by him when they first locked eyes as she and her family made their way to Aslan's How. She didn't know whether it was his free-spirit, his exotic features, his will for adventure, or all of the above that was the reason he had grabbed her attention. Maybe it was the way he looked at her, as if he couldn't believe such a girl existed. Or maybe it was the gentle touches and kind words they shared that last night in Narnia. Or maybe it was his kiss, so gentle, sweet, and breath taking, which left Susan not wanting to leave Narnia. She knew that she would be able to survive staying in his arms but she also knew she had to go home. Stepping through the gate that connected Narnia with England practically tore her heart apart. Now, the only thing she had were her memories that she lived in every single waking moment. It's been about weeks since they were in Narnia and she didn't know how much time passed there or how old Caspian could've gotten since.

"Ms. Pevensie!" Susan blinked when her name was called, snapping her out of her reverie. She looked up into the colbalt blue eyes of her teacher. She quickly glanced around and saw that she was the only one in the classroom. 'When did the bell ring?' "Not that I don't want you to stay for my class, but you will be late to your next one, and you wouldn't want a tardy," her teacher said with a small smile.

"Sorry, Ms. Ashford, it won't happen again," Susan said as she hastily scooped her books into her arms. She smiled a little before rushing out of the classroom and into the hallways that was alive and loud as girls passed, talking to each other excitedly. She could catch snippets of their conversations and they were mostly about the dance that was that night. The girls were more excited than usual, only because the dance would be with the Henden House boys, which Susan wasn't too enthusiastic about.

No boy at Henden House could even compare with Caspian's grace, mysteriousness, or personality. If she went she knew she would only end up dancing with her brothers, Peter and Edmund, and that was the last thing she wanted to do. Sure, she was used to it because of the many balls they held at Cair Paravel, but she would not want to dance with her brothers in front of her classmates.

"Susan! I've been calling you!" Lucy Pevensie complained as she placed her hands on her hips.

"Sorry, Lu," Susan said with a small smile. "What was it that you wanted to say?"

"School is being let out early," she said as she motioned to the tittering girls around them. "The Headmaster has been questioned all day about the dance and she said that it's closing early so the girls can have time to get ready." She sighed. "They're acting like this is prom or something. Anyway, Pete and Ed are waiting to go home."

"Ok, I'm sorry I kept you."

"It's quite all right." The two girls smiled at each other before walking down the hallway, dodging the large group of girls that had gathered in the hallway to talk about what they were going to wear or how they were going to do their hair or who they were going with. Susan rolled her eyes and Lucy noticed the movement. "Are you not going to go?" Lucy questioned.

"No, there's no point," Susan responded.

"I know," Lucy agreed.

"They can't even compare to Narnian Balls," they said in unison before laughing simultaneously. They walked out of the front doors of their boarding school and bounded down the front stairs to the great lawn. They looked around before spotting Peter and Edmund standing near the tree that cast a shadow on the ground. The two girls rushed over to their siblings before they walked down the street towards the train station that would take them on an hour commute back home for the weekend.

"Are you two going to the dance?" Susan asked.

"It's bad enough that I have to get tortured by Narnian Balls, there is no way I'm going to the dance tonight," Edmund declared as he balanced on the edge of the sidewalk.

"Did you not get asked or something?" Lucy asked with a teasing grin.

"Whoever said anything about not being asked?" Edmund asked in a defensive tone. "I got asked by plenty of girls. I just don't want to go."

"What about you, Peter?" Susan asked as she looked up at her older brother.

"I thought about it," he responded. "But in the end I decided not to go. There will be other dances. And-"

"They can't compare to Narnian Balls," they all said in unison before laughing. Susan's laughter was cut short by her stopping and making a face as she held her stomach.

"Su, are you all right?" Edmund asked.

"Yes, I just felt a little ill all of a sudden," Susan responded. "I'm fine," she quickly added when they looked at her in concern. "Come on, slowpokes. If we don't hurry we might miss the train," she said as she started running ahead. Lucy looked at Peter who shrugged before running after her. Lucy ran after Peter and Edmund groaned.

"Can you guys slow down, please?" He asked. "I have to carry a heavy courier bag! Guys?" He groaned again before holding it with both hands and ran after his laughing siblings. "You are not funny!"

"Hello, Mum," the Pevensies chorused once they entered their house. During the summer Mrs. Pevensie had gotten a home that was close to the train station so they could go live with her whenever they were on break or they wanted to go home for the weekend, such as now. They continued to visit the Professor to tell him about their Narnia adventures though.

"Hello. How was school?" Mrs. Pevensie asked before hugging and kissing all of her kids.

"It was all right," Edmund said as he put his courier bag down. "There is a dance tonight but we're not going."

"You should, it's a great way to meet new people," Mrs. Pevensie pointed out.

"You wouldn't want to meet them if you knew them," Lucy said under her breath. Peter smiled a little but it quickly faded when Mrs. Pevensie turned to look at him. Lucy and Susan and Edmund took that opportunity to run out of the foyer and up the stairs and to their respective rooms. Susan shut the door behind her and made sure it was locked before standing in front of her mirror. She took off her red jacket and untied her tie. She took a deep breath before gently running her hands over her stomach. Her heart pounded in her ears when she suddenly felt nauseous. She rushed over to her private bathroom and managed to get to the toilet before throwing up. Her body convulsed as the contents and stomach acid came up her throat and into the bowl. She groaned and flushed the toilet before pulling herself up and looking into the mirror. She grabbed her toothbrush and quickly brushed her teeth. She put her toothbrush back in the cup when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in!" Susan called as she walked out of the bathroom. The door opened and Peter stepped inside the room. Susan expected him. He always checked up on Edmund, Susan, and Lucy while they were home, especially if they were sick. She loved how Peter was protective and made sure everything was fine with them, but she hated how he had a tendency to pry into her life.

"Are you all right?" He asked as he closed the door behind himself. "I heard you, well, vomiting."

"Something went down the wrong way, I guess," Susan responded. "I feel better now." She added when Peter didn't look convinced. "Really."

"If you're sure," Peter said with a sigh. "Mum went out to buy things for dinner. Do you want to play a little bit of cricket?"

"Sure, I'll be there in a few," Susan said with a smile. Peter nodded before stepping forward and kissing her on the forehead. "Whatever was that for?"

"I'm impressed," Peter admitted. "You don't seem the least bit devastated about how we can't go back to Narnia."

"The memories help me," Susan said with a sigh, ignoring the feeling that a hole was in her heart. She wanted, no, needed to be with Caspian. Peter would never understand that.

Please, if you have the time, check out my other Narnia stories and leave some feedback. That would really help me update faster.