Blood Bound

Disclaimer:

Vampire Knight belongs to Hino Matsuri. This story contains spoilers for chapters 39 and 40, and possibly everything else before it indirectly; feel free to hit the back button if you do not want to be spoiled. I only own my interpretations of Ichiru's feelings.

Full Summary:

Companion to 'Like Crystal Shards' – Spoilers: Chapter 39 & 40 Part II of Twins Verse In the darkness of his heart, he learnt how to hate even those he used to love. But he never learnt the lesson well, for in the end, he couldn't continue hating his dearest, selfless twin. He belonged to Zero, and finally, finally after all that had happened… he would be with Zero, within Zero like he had always wanted… Forever.

Kiryuu Ichiru knew the darkness intimately. He knew what it was like to be always in someone's shadow, to always be overlooked and to be always treated as nothing more than a burden. He was always being compared and always neglected in the face of his much more competent elder twin brother. It was inevitable that he would learn how to hate all those who had caused him to feel such agony when he wasn't even out of his adolescent years. But it seemed that he didn't learn his lesson well enough, because at the end of it all, he couldn't continue hating Zero.

When they were very, very young, he had loved Zero dearly. They would've been literally inseparable had he not been born with such a weak, illness-prone body. But over time, he grew to resent how Zero outshone him in everything without even trying… and that eventually turned into a form of hate, sealed in place by that fateful conversation between his parents that he had accidentally overheard. Yet, part of him was unable to stop loving his twin although he had kept that part of him quiet and distant from his consciousness most of the time.

Ichiru knew, though, that one day, one half of this love-hate relationship he had would have to give way, for humans were not meant to have such extreme, conflicting feelings towards a person at the same time. He had always suspected, but never gave voice to it for he feared that it would make it all the more definite, that it would be his hatred that would ultimately yield against the onslaught of the deep-rooted love he still felt for Zero…

He was right.

Nevertheless, at this moment, he still found it strange, perhaps surreal… how he always felt so comfortable next to his elder twin brother. Even now, when they had only just repaired their broken bond, it was the same. Ichiru never would've believed that it would've been this easy to regain that familiarity with Zero were he not experiencing it right now. Nothing had ever been easy for him. Nothing.

Now, lying in Zero's arms, he felt truly at peace. Despite all that had happened between them, being held by Zero was one of the only things that could make him feel so content. It was probably because he belonged to Zero. He should've been born inside of his twin, not separate from him. Then they would both really have been whole from the start…

Zero was taking much too long. Ichiru knew that the smell of his blood was definitely driving his twin crazy with bloodlust. Yet he was still resisting, still trying not to do him any harm. Between always trying to cover for him when they were younger and the situation at hand now… Honestly, Zero was just too softhearted for his own good.

Ichiru slowly shifted himself, pointedly ignoring the pain that shot up his side at his unsteady movements and leaned a little away from Zero so that he could look at this twin. Oh? It appeared that Zero was lost in thought. None too pleasant ones at that. The number of people who could cause such an openly pained expression to cross Zero's countenance, however, was so few that Ichiru could count them using just one finger. There was only one – Cross, no, Kuran Yuuki. Why Zero had ever treated her as his precious one though, Ichiru would never understand. Especially when she continued to hurt Zero and never even realized it.

He frowned slightly. Zero didn't even notice his movements, which was pretty amazing considering that he was seated right in his elder twin's lap… and it wasn't as if he was trying to be deliberately discrete in his actions. He was only moving slowly because his strength was slowly, but surely, bleeding out of him by the passing second. So Zero was that deep in thought. The pained expression did not let up as Ichiru continued to watch silently, and he didn't like it.

"Why are you hesitating, Zero?" he asked quietly, although he was sure of the reason already.

Zero started slightly, his lilac eyes – so similar to his own but were solely Zero's – were focused on him. He was quite satisfied that he had successfully wiped away Zero's pained expression and had it replaced with some form of mild surprise.

"I-"

"You were thinking about that girl… Weren't you?"

Ichiru knew that Zero would be struggling to answer this question. It wasn't exactly a secret that he didn't like Yuuki. So he interrupted, sparing his twin from replying, "You don't have to lie. Your expression gave you away, Zero… There's only one person who can cause you so much pain, although I still don't understand why it's her."

With a wry smile that took more effort than he'd like to admit, he added, "I wonder… Even if I'm not dead in your heart… Would you be as sad when I die?"

The look of hurt that appeared on Zero's face made him feel both saddened yet joyful. He didn't want to intentionally hurt his brother even if he had not too long ago shot him in the shoulder with the Bloody Rose, but he really couldn't help asking the question that had been bothering him since the start. However, he was indeed glad, in a twisted way perhaps (but what part of him hadn't already become twisted in some form?), that he could pain Zero more than Yuuki. It meant that he was more precious to Zero than she was… and that fact meant the world to him.

"Don't say that! You're not going to die, Ichiru! Leave me now and get help. Go!"

But the blindingly simple fact was he didn't want to go. He was finally truly reunited with Zero and all their past conflicts had been put aside; Ichiru wasn't going to leave Zero's arms by any means while he was still alive. So he clung tighter to Zero, sheer will allowing him to hold on even as Zero tried to push him away.

"Ichiru!" Zero said with a hint of exasperation, but Ichiru could hear the thinly veiled desperation behind it.

He knew that Zero didn't want him to die. But he wasn't really dying, like Zero thought he would. He would be living in Zero and he would forever be with his beloved twin, which was exactly what he had always wished for deep in his heart. Also, what he was doing would very likely prolong Zero's life indefinitely by stopping his descent into Level E, and Ichiru knew he didn't want Zero to die prematurely, which would happen if he didn't do what he was doing right now. If Zero could just understand that…

"Don't be so stubborn, Zero… Just bite me already," he chided softly.

"Idiot… Who's the stubborn one?"

Perhaps we both are. Perhaps that's why we're the ones chosen to fulfill such a bloody destiny, he thought, although he couldn't help but chuckle quietly at Zero's reprimand. He knew full well that Zero always looked out for him, even when he shouldn't. Correction: Zero looked out for everybody, so long as they weren't the enemy. It was high time that Zero actually looked out for himself and stop denying what he desperately needed. Ichiru was going to make sure of that this time. Zero needed his blood to fulfill his destiny of being the most powerful hunter ever. He was a skilled hunter now; he'd be an unstoppable one after.

"Come on, Zero. You're letting my blood go to waste here." With that, he deliberately coated his right hand liberally with blood from his wounds and held it before Zero's lips.

Zero's reaction was just as Ichiru had expected. His twin's eyes flashed crimson and his tongue had immediately darted out to lick off all the blood. Good. Now that Zero had the taste of blood in his system, it would be even more difficult for him to resist his bloodlust. He was probably playing dirty here, but it didn't matter as long as Zero eventually bit him. However, Ichiru also knew Zero well enough that Zero had a will of steel. He needed one last bait before the bite would be taken – literally.

Regardless, Zero never denied him for long. Especially if he…

"Please, Zero…" he breathed into his twin's ear, adding just the right amount of pleading into his voice. "I want to become one with you…"

Then Ichiru heard a fleeting, whispered apology before sharp fangs sunk into his neck. He let out a tiny gasp at the slight pain of the piercing before relaxing into Zero's embrace, going so far as to snuggle into his twin's arms. Ah… This was right. He was right where he belonged… and he'd finally be of use to Zero instead of being a liability.

A liability. That had been the only word to describe himself for much of his life. Always falling ill, always getting accidentally injured, always putting pressure on Zero to do better so that he could cover for him… In short, he had never been any form of help for anybody, not even Zero, who was the only one he really wanted to help… until he met Shizuka. But Ichiru suspected that even then, the desire to be of use to Zero, to be able to help Zero had never faded away. Just like his love for Zero had persisted even under all his hate. Perhaps the real reason why he requested Shizuka to spare Zero was because he couldn't bear the thought of Zero dead. Or at least dead before he himself was dead, for it was inevitable that all life forms would come to an end one day.

He thought he had escaped that label when Shizuka let him drink her blood to cure him of his chronic ill health, but no, not even then had he truly escaped it. The way Kuran Rido had dismissed him in such a painfully easy manner was telling. Ever since Shizuka died, he had wanted to get his hands on Rido, to kill him… but he had failed in that. Sure, he had blamed Zero, and the whole of Cross Academy for the matter, for causing Shizuka's death on that very night, but it was because of his grief that impaired his rationalizing of the situation.

To be honest, up until now, he still didn't have any proof as to who had ultimately ended her life, but he knew it wasn't Zero. Zero had only made her vulnerable to whoever had been there in that room that fateful night, waiting to kill her when her healing ability was weakened. That seriously narrowed down the number of people who knew of Shizuka's presence in the school, and Ichiru just knew that it was Kuran, not Rido, but Kaname who had killed Shizuka and taken some of her blood. Without proof – and he would never have it either – he wouldn't be able to accuse Kaname, but it didn't matter. Soon enough, Rido, the wretched pureblood vampire who had made Shizuka's life a living hell and had orchestrated all of this, would be dead by Zero's hands… And he would've played a part by allowing Zero to regain the strength and power necessary for such an end to be met.

Ichiru find it mildly ironic that Zero would be the one avenging Shizuka. Well, he knew that his elder twin wouldn't think of it that way at all, but it was the principle of the thing. Zero could have his own reasons for wanting to kill Rido other than because Kaname had set him up for it four years ago – and Ichiru dared hoped that he was one of them at least – but Ichiru would still think that it was partly for avenging Shizuka. Still, he hoped that Zero would one day stop hating Shizuka. He wasn't crazy enough to ask for total forgiveness, but maybe Zero would one day be indifferent to Shizuka's life-altering role in his life?

Then, Ichiru felt something wet trickling down his neck and soaking into his shirt. No, it wasn't his blood. Zero was doing an impressive job of not letting a single drop of it escape with his tongue. Then he noticed the slight trembling of Zero's body, even as Zero held him and he realized that… Zero was crying. And Ichiru knew it was because of him, because Zero's human side was mourning and cursing himself for becoming such a beast that he would feed on his younger twin. Ichiru felt his heart clench. Zero shouldn't be crying. He really shouldn't.

"…Don't cry, Zero… I'm the one… who cries… Not you…" His voice sounded unnaturally weak, even to his own ears, and he was speaking in short, almost breathless phrases. But Ichiru continued speaking, "Besides, I want this… I want to… be with you… as one…"

He hoped that it would comfort Zero, somehow… When he felt Zero's arms tightening around him, holding him even closer in a last desperate embrace, Ichiru could just feel Zero's emotions pouring into him. Perhaps it was because they were identical twins and they were now sharing a very deep and intimate blood bond, perhaps even deeper than the bond that Shizuka and Zero had, because even without direct mind-to-mind telepathy, he just knew what Zero was conveying to him with that tight embrace.

Ichiru knew, and would always remember now, that Zero loved him, always had and always would, come what may.

The warmth that flooded through him at that realization was so powerful that, if he were on his feet, he would've been bowled over by it. At the same time, the overwhelming urge to cry tears of joy surged forth. But there was logically nothing to cry about, for he should be, and was really happy. Tears were for sadness, or so Zero would think. So he would not cry. Already Zero was having a hard time dealing with his impending death. Ichiru would not make it any harder for his dear, dear twin. Instead, his lips curved into a faint, content smile. Thank you, Zero. Thank you.

He lay there contentedly, in Zero's arms, no longer holding on tightly for fear of Zero pushing him away or thinking particularly hard about anything, but just enjoying the sensation of being close to Zero. It really had been too long. Four years. Four years without Zero by his side. How had he actually survived it as well as he had? It seemed impossible for him to have accomplished that feat when he thought about it now. Or perhaps, it was just the amount of blood that he had lost that was meddling with his ability to rationalize. Between his sluggishly bleeding wound and how Zero had been drinking his blood, it was safe to say that his blood loss would become fatal in a matter of moments.

"…I'm glad… Zero… I'll… finally be… together… with you… Always…"

The extreme weakness in his voice was not lost on Ichiru himself, and that seemed to cause Zero to break out of the hold his vampire side had on him for he immediately jerked away from Ichiru's neck. He felt Zero push him away slightly, and then Zero was looking at his face intently. Ichiru could see the horror in Zero's expression as he took in what was most likely a deathly pale, on-the-brink-of-death version of his once vibrant twin.

"Ichiru… I…"

Zero's voice broke on a choked sob, and he was unable to finish whatever he had meant to say. Tears were still making their way down his cheeks, and Ichiru really didn't want to see them there. But his strength was fast fading, and he did not have much time left to say what he wanted. So forgoing the chance to tell Zero not to cry again, he said something else instead. Something that was equally, or rather more important.

"…Zero… thank you…" for fulfilling my wish. For loving me. For everything you are.

"Don't… thank me…"

"…Love you…"

There, he'd said it. It was enough.

This was it for him as he slumped forwards and onto Zero. His eyes drifted shut, even as the peaceful smile on his face remained in place. He knew he would always be with Zero from now until eternity, just the way they were always meant to be. Their blood-tainted destiny had been fulfilled and they were now forever bound to each other by blood. They were in each other's blood. They were one.

Nothing would separate them now…

Nothing.

Sigh. I'm still very much hung up on Chapter 40. So sue me. This is basically Like Crystal Shards in Ichiru's POV. Which probably explains why it's less angsty, since he was basically offering himself up to Zero on a silver platter and egging Zero on to drink his blood. Still, Ichiru has issues, and he angsts enough to fit this into the angst genre. I had the hardest time trying to decide which genres to classify this story under.

Also, I realized, after I went back to reread Vampire Knight, that I made an error while writing LCS. I misinterpreted that all hunter twins would be born as a single baby, when it's they'd both be stillborn unless one eats the other and that surviving one will become the strongest hunter ever. It's not that big of an error in LCS, and the error actually made for a lot of good angsting on Zero's part... But I guess I can say that Zero isn't 100 sure of the details of the curse himself, while here in this case, Ichiru knows exactly what the curse entails and hence the difference. XD

So Part II of Twins Verse is done! Part III is in the works, but I've yet to title it. It's going to be a sequel to both LCS and this fic, and will definitely be AU to the manga canon. Hope you enjoyed reading!

carzla