Okay! so, this has been sitting in my computer for 3 years, and I decided to post it. Forgive me. Just 3 silly little drabbles based on strange conversations I had at work.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, nor do I make any money off of them or this work.

The insanity, however, is all mine.

It was a day like any other day. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and Heero Yuy was fearing for his sanity as he listened to yet another one of his best friend's brilliant get rich quick schemes. Or at least, Duo thought they were brilliant, until Heero inevitably pointed out that Duo was completely, unutterably, and absolutely totally insane.

Heero told Duo this a lot. Everyone wondered how the two had managed to be best friends for as long as they had, since it was so obvious to them that the boys were absolute opposites. Heero Yuy was quiet, serious, and had a tendency to fade into the background if allowed, whereas Duo Maxwell was loud, cheerful, and a complete jokester. However, despite these differences that made people swear they would be unsuitable friends, Heero and Duo were the best of friends because Heero's quiet, nature kept Duo's rambunctious one from being completely out of control, and Duo's humour kept Heero from taking everything too seriously to enjoy life.

He's outdone himself this time, Heero thought, carefully keeping his face blank as he listened to his best friend chatter animatedly about his current plan. I mean, even HE can't REALLY think this plan is in any way plausible.

"..And then, as I'm packing the bag, I swear I hear Kat say 'alligator bottling hats', which, honestly, made NOOOO sense to me. I mean, who would wear a cap that says alligator bottling? Its like advertising for something that doesn't exist...Well, I pointed this out to her, and she said, 'Alligator bobbling head. On the dashboard.', And I looked, and so there was, but then I thought, but what if it were an alligator bottling hat, so Kat and I planned out how we could bottle alligators, and then make the hats advertising that we bottled alligators, and.."

"Duo," Heero finally interrupted his friends endless babble, both to stop his head spinning, and to give Duo a chance to breathe, which he hadn't seemed to have done for the past ten minutes.

"Yes?"

"You're an idiot."

"Why?" Duo asked

"Who would want a bottled alligator?" Heero raised his eyebrow at Duo.

"Who wouldn't?" his friend countered.

"Well, me for one, and everyone else for two."

Duo sighed, and shaking his head in mock exasperation, put his arm around his friend's shoulder.

"Heero, Heero, Heero," he sighed again. "You're just jealous that YOU didn't think of bottled alligators, and won't be able to become rich from this brilliant plan. But, worry not!" Duo took on a dramatic tone, "I shan't forget you, when I am rich and famous, and you are a mere peon struggling to survive in this cruel, cruel world."

He turned to face Heero, and looked him in the eyes very seriously. "I'll give you a discount."

Heero smacked him.