NO GOOD DEED
By
C.K.

A MAGNUM P.I./FIVE 0 CROSSOVER STORY


Dan Williams was looking at the shirts at the Liberty House Department store. The State of Hawaii owed him another dress shirt for work. In the course of a Dan's last case, his shirt had gotten oil, mud among other things on it and was beyond repair and cleaning.

Over the course of years, Dan had turned in normal expense reports but this was different not only did the State owe him a shirt and tie, but also the cleaning and repair of his gun. He hoped the bean counters questioned him on this expense claim, this time. He would love to tell them the story, one of the strangest cases he had worked on in a very long time. In fact, this was the strangest case in his whole history of police work.

Shopping was never one of Dan's favorite things to do. As a result he preferred to get the items as quickly and painlessly as possible. Liberty was having a sale and he decided to treat himself to a few new shirts on one of his free mornings off. Which were few and far between.

Dan had been wandering around the store, heading for the men's department, that is until he noticed a man who seemed nervous, more so than any one he had seen. His cop instincts automatically snapped on Dan watched the man carefully as he seemed to be looking for someone or something. The man's head moving to and fro, like a parrot. Being artful in watching suspects Dan continued to inspect the shirts.

The dress shirts were in the middle of the men's department so Dan had a clear view of everything the man did. Not due in the office until later, Dan's suit jacket concealed his gun and his identity.

Working his way over to the next rack Dan continued his surveillance and watched the man. An older gentleman, Dan could see he wasn't from the islands. Who else would wear what appeared to be English military khaki's along with a khaki shirt.

The man's clothing monochromatic, his black moustache and his black hair seemed perfectly in place. He was an easy man to follow a stark contrast among the colorful dress shirts.

The man continued to wonder aimlessly around the department or so he appeared, so Dan cautiously followed. The man moved and again Dan followed, glancing at his watch he noticing it was just over an hour before he had to meet Steve. The meeting with Steve regarding the Bender case and then he had his court appearance around three in the afternoon.

Dan knew Matt Nishimura, the store detective and would alert him to the man's presence, if he could get his attention that is; if he already wasn't aware of him. The man walked through fine jewelry and then quickly retreated back to the men's department.

Dan saw the man bump into another man, in a plaid jacket, and he seemed to put something in his pocket. My god, he just lifted the man's wallet. Before he could react, the other man quickly left the store so Dan silently grabbed the first man.

Grabbing the man's arm and turning it behind his back, Dan then headed them both towards the security department, carefully handling the man.


"I say! Oh my God! What in bloody blue blazes are you doing! I have done nothing to be harassed for." The man replied with his English accent clearly evident.


"Oh, don't tell me. I have the morning off and the least you could do is come up with an original excuse rather than proclaiming your innocence which by the way is the oldest trick in the book," Dan retorted, pickpockets always denied wrongdoing.


"As to what I'm doing. I'm taking you to the store security section, then it's off to the station" The man resisted further.

"I saw you bump that man and put something in your pocket. Don't give me that baby blues look."

The man started to look at him with utter contempt now as they stared eye to eye. People began to stare as Dan found it harder and harder to guide the man to security, due to the fact, the man kept resisting each step towards security.


"You stop this right now." The man resisted. " Do you know whom your dealing with?"


Dan continued to the security office without a word.

"I'm Jonathon Quale Higgins, major domo for Robin Masters. Cease and desist or I shall have to call the police." Higgins had stopped, forcing Dan to physically push him towards security.


"It's your lucky day, Mr. Higgins. I AM the police and I caught you pick pocketing. Your causing a scene all ready, and I wanted to avoid it. Since you can see security is straight ahead, you can explain it to them and me before we go to the station."


Dan walked Higgins up to Matt as he gave a brief explanation and went into the office with Higgins in tow. After spending an hour full of recriminations and denials, Dan was able to break free. Only after Higgins produced his own personal belongings and no one else's and even then only after heavy persuasion. So much for getting a new shirt today.
ZZZZZZZZZ

Dan rushed to the Capitol Building where he met Steve as his blue jacket blew in the trades.

"Sorry, I'm late, Steve. But I was at the . . ."

Dan said breathless, seeing Steve's perturbed look at his face.

Getting back to the Palace only to find Steve had left for the Governor's office. "Ala Mona mall it took longer than expected."


"I have a meeting in less than ten minutes with the Governor." Steve walked briskly towards the steps of the Capital building. "Now what can you tell me about the Bender case so I can tell the Governor." Steve's irate tone, indicating Dan's day was about to get harder and longer.

ZZZZZZZZZ

Finally able to get a weekend off and Dan was relaxing on the beach after a vigorous game of volleyball and it felt really good since it had been one hell of a week. He had removed his t-shirt and let the trades brush his back. Dan's legs stretched out, his red shorts a contrast to his tanned legs. It seemed anything that could go wrong did go wrong. Missing subpoena forms, along with court delays and the elusive George Bender. Dan quietly sipped his beer as he watched others play volleyball, still trying to cool down after his intense three man match. Dan listened to the surf and contemplated life in paradise.


"You're awfully quiet today, Danny. I know those guys kicked our butts, and we'll get them next time. Right, TC." Rick said as he adjusted his shorts and grabbed another beer.


"Sure, Rick. Whatever you say. I think we need to practice more. I don't know who were trying to kid. Those guys were ringers, damn lucky we didn't bet them any money." TC laughed.


Dan looked at Rick and TC two mismatched people if he ever saw them.

TC, a large black man, with a goatee, almost busting out his red tank top, given to quiet introspection and Rick, his blond hair cut short, wearing no shirt at all, plus being a loud and obnoxious man. How the two ever hooked up in Vietnam amazed Dan.

"No, I'm fine. Just thinking about work is all. Personally I didn't mind the game. I found it enjoyable. I. . ."


TC stood up interrupting Danny. "Uh oh, here comes trouble."


Dan found himself staring up at a large 6'1" man, tanned, brown, haired with a moustache, dressed in khaki shorts and aloha shirt, and with just a twinkle in his blue eyes.

"What are you doing here, Thomas?" TC seemed mad at the guy, standing up and staring at Thomas.

"Hey, didn't you invite me to come play sand volleyball. I told you I'd be here. A little late, but I'm here!" Thomas seemed conciliatory. "C'mon guys, it isn't as if I didn't try. You got to understand."

"Thomas, why can't you ever be on time for anything? That's why we now have Dan Williams on our team. Even with his busy schedule, he can make it, or at least have the decency to call and let us know he can't make it." Rick said pointing to Dan.


Thomas walked over and sat down beside Dan on the beach. Dan thought to himself. Who was this guy? Maybe it was Rick and TC's mysterious friend who seemed to live the easy life.

"I'm Thomas Magnum, Private Investigator" Magnum extended his right hand. "You work for McGarrett don't you?"

Dan wondered, how the hell, did he know? All he told Rick and TC he was a cop and nothing else.

Dan looked at Rick and TC as they sat down again. So his cover was blown, he was sure to get lots of questions about Steve. Generally, that's what made him leave groups, he was here to relax.

"SO. What of it?" Dan questioned Magnum; perturbed because he wanted to know how Magnum knew whom he worked for.

"Nothing. Just making conversation is all, besides who in the islands doesn't know McGarrett. I just wanted to see whom Rick and TC replaced me with considering they didn't give me a chance. I miss a few practices and they replace me. You'll do okay, I guess. Besides, Rick and TC need all the help they can get!" Magnum shook his head. "Why they chose a short guy like you I don't know. I'm sure you're not much of a spikier are you??"

Dan felt insulted. Who does this guy think he is? Navy, damn, he had to be Navy. Just like Steve, what was it with Navy men did they all seemed to have a permanent chip on their shoulders. What was it with him and Navy guys? He must have a beacon painted on him somewhere.

"I do okay, Magnum. Better than you from what Rick and TC tell me. I can at least be counted on for showing up on time and giving all I got. On the other hand, they say you can't be counted on for anything, including money. Can't even count on you to do a simple favor", two could play at this game. "Seems you get to play fast and loose and not even work for a living. And even that doesn't seem to be good enough for you. Unlike the rest of us who have jobs and responsibilities." Dan wryly smiled as he could see he hit his mark.

Magnum stood up and brushed the sand from his shorts and legs. "I don't have to stay around here and take this. I could be home and get it from Higgins. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm on a case." Magnum turned and hurried off the beach.

"Thanks, Danny. We've been trying to do that for months. Magnum just seems to be. ." Rick started thanking him.

"Magnum", TC interrupted and both Rick and TC laughed, Dan not quite getting the joke.

"Hey, Danny. You really ought to consider joining the King Kam Club. It's where it's at now, not at the Makaha. I mean it, you really would like it; there's the volleyball, the women, the beach, the women. Think about."

Rick had seemed to be pushing the club lately, just the mere fact he was the manager, wouldn't have anything to do with it. Dan had let them know, he wasn't as happy with the Makaha as he used to be. He would seriously consider it and being friends with the club manager wouldn't hurt.

"Okay, Rick. Maybe sometime this week I'll drop by and fill out an application. If I did that would you stop bugging me?" Dan kidded with Rick. Rick apologized and then offered to buy Dan dinner.

"Sorry, man, how about you and me going out for something to eat and I'm paying. You pick the place."

Not sure why, Dan agreed, "Sure, why not." Dan found out during dinner why only to find out later. Rick was willing to buy dinner because he wanted some legal advice.

ZZZZZZZ

Dan finally had a lead on Bender but unfortunately, Bender seemed to have a tip on him because when Dan arrived he found Bender peeling out of the garage. Dan was in quick pursuit with his siren wailing as both he and Bender weaved in and out of rush hour traffic on H-1. Once on Route 72, Bender's radical driving habits became even more deadlier. On a two-lane highway, there was little margin for error, and that is exactly what happened. As Bender made his way around a slow moving dump truck, Dan tried to follow, narrowly missing an Audi. The Audi ended up on the embankment, as Bender seemed to vanish into thin air. Dan had followed but had to give up when the road forked and he was not sure which one to take.

Dan concerned for the Audi driver double backed and called in for help.

Arriving at the Audi, Dan found the driver, what he hoped was the driver, surveying the damage. Dan looked to see that the front end of the car was smashed and inoperable. He found the gentlemen muttering to himself loudly with a distinctive British accent and then he turned around.

"Oh My God! You, it's you. Don't American policeman have any common courtesy, Mister Master's car is ruined all because of your recklessness."

"Sorry, sir, but the siren was on and I had the right of the road. It was your responsibility to get out of the way of the oncoming police car." Dan tried to explain.

"I demand compensation and I wish to file a complaint. Your just like Magnum, irresponsible, reckless."

Dan winced, Mr. Higgins again. Where did this guy get off, it was Bender's fault not his. "As I said Mr. Higgins, the police siren was on, therefore the accident is not my fault but yours for not clearing to the side of the road." As Dan's patience was quickly fading. That did not matter, however, complaints from the public were common for any police officer. Not that he was responsible for any accidents per se that was Steve's forte cringing at all the near misses when he rode with the boss.

Just then the tow truck arrived along with an ambulance. Dan forced Higgins to be looked at under protest. He refused to have the claim come later of his callousness along with some other adjectives Higgins could come up with. Another day shot at catching Bender.

ZZZZZZ

Later that day, Dan was sitting in Steve's office trying to get Steve to commiserate with him. "I had him, Steve. I really did and then this dammed driver got in the way and . . ."

"Danno"

"I don't get it. What is it with this guy, do I like have a bulls eye pointed on . . "

A little louder Steve called to Dan. "DANNO!" Then Steve lowered his voice when he had gotten Dan's attention. "I understand your complaint, but the Governor isn't going to like it. We need to catch that man, get all the help you can, just get him. Okay."

Dan calmed down a bit before replying "Okay, Steve. I'll do the best I can, considering."
ZZZZZZ

Dan was in a lousy mood, for a week now he had been close several times to apprehending Bender and then he would vanish. It seemed Bender was reading his mind, knew cops way too well or worse had him bugged. Eating lunch at his desk, for the first time in a good many weeks, and for once, plus for a change, he was not on the run. Dan pulled out the file again went over Bender's MO. Maybe he was missing something, anything that would give him an edge over Bender.

Dan had worn enough shoe leather for ten shoes tracking him. He had talked to relatives, inmates, store clerks, victims, everyone and anyone and you would think he would have gotten some clue. Dan wondered if Bender wasn't a figment of his imagination. Closing the file, Dan needed a break and Steve owed him a few hours off to do some personal errands since he would be working late again tonight. He never did get that dress shirt, so now would be as good a time as any. Telling Luana where he was going Dan left the office.

ZZZZZZZ


About an hour later, Dan pulled into the parking lot, whistling, maybe if he were lucky he would find another good sale. Dan had mentally counted how many dress shirts he had lost since being in the Five- 0 unit, he stopped counting when he had reached three-dozen. Funny, duty was never this dangerous when he was on HPD or a detective.

While getting out of the car, Dan mentally checked out the shopping center without even realizing he was doing it. One of the hazards of being a cop and on call 24/7. Dan surveyed any scene for possible crime or incidences. Glancing around, Dan took a quick look at the people. He couldn't believe it!! Bender, Dammitt, Bender was here by the entrance to the mall. Bender in his loud aloha shirt, jeans and trademark black sneakers.

Slowly Dan approached him because he didn't want to spook him. Bender had a lot to answer for, besides his crimes, Steve had read him the riot act early in the week, and not that he deserved it. But, Bender had to answer for that as well. Bender was almost within an arms length reaching for him when Bender bolted. Going into high gear, while he shouted "Out of the way, Police" Dan chased after him, dodging women, children and shopkeepers, but he did mange to knock a few people down who were a little slow to react as the intensity of the chase increased.

Reaching a set of stairs, Dan jumped and tackled Bender as he was going down, along with someone else, who was coming up. The threesome rolled down the stairs, landing in a heap on the hard concrete sidewalk. Dan's luck with Bender finally changing for the better, he quickly handcuffed Bender and started reading him his rights. "You have the right to remain silent." Dan finished reading Bender his rights because he for one didn't want Bender getting off on a technicality.

Dan got up off the concrete pulling Bender up with him, when he noticed that the State now owed him a pair of suit pants. "Damn", he muttered. His once plaid pants were now torn on the knees, thanks to the fall down the steps. He could now add pants to the list of items the State of Hawaii owed him.

It was then when Dan noticed the other man whom he had knocked down by accident.

Dan opened his mouth but didn't, afraid of anything he said would set the man off. He didn't have to worry on that count because he could see the anger boiling in Higgins's eyes.

Higgins started calling for Dan's superior and wouldn't budge until he arrived. " OH MY GOD! I want to see your superior and I want to see him, NOW!!! Each word increasing in volume and hatred.

Dressed in exactly the same clothing as Dan had seen him the last time, he kicked himself for being so stupid. How could he have missed him coming down the stairs? The man didn't exactly blend into the scenery.

By this time, Higgins, Bender and himself had drawn a large crowd. About the time a couple of mall security guards had shown up to see what the commotion was, along came two blue and whites. Dan put Bender in the back of one of the patrol cars and breathed a sigh of relief. He was about to send Bender to the station but unfortunately, Higgins wanted Bender as a witness to Dan's misdeeds.

"I want that man to stay here as a witness to your unprofessional behavior and lack of common courtesy. Your lack of disregard for the public safety in a shopping mall," Higgins temper beginning to rise.

Dan had never heard of that one besides he was doing his job. Getting on the radio, Dan called for Steve. Hoping he was in a good mood. "Steve, I'm at the Ala Mona Mall and your presence has been requested by a citizen." Dan holding his own temper in check.

Steve agreed, "I'll be there in about twenty minutes, Danno. Is that quick enough?"

Dan could almost hear him laughing at the request.


Steve's Mercury screeched to a stop and Dan made the introductions, "Steve McGarrett this is Jonathan Higgins." Dan was trying to keep a straight face and then stood off to the side, while trying to read Steve's reaction. Higgins on the other hand could be read, 20 feet away. When Steve pulled out his business card, Dan knew he was done for because Steve only gave his card to potential witnesses or when something might turn ugly. This had now turned ugly, Dan realized in horror.

Dan watched Steve shake Higgins hand and turned toward him. Dan waited with interpretation, now what? He saw Higgins head into the mall, watching as Higgins turned and smiled at him. A deadly smile and one Dan knew he would regret.

"Pretty impressive man, that Higgins" Steve stated. 'He was telling me this was the third time you ran into him, literary," he could see the twinkle in Steve's eye.

"It wasn't my fault Steve. It was him", pointing to Bender in the back of the patrol car.

"Okay, Danno. I got you out of this one for now and it didn't cost a thing. Just a peaceful afternoon. I'll tell you about after you get him booked."

Dan watched Steve walk towards his car; he could tell Steve was enjoying leaving him in suspense. Dan would find out about it later, now it was payback time.

After Dan finished booking Bender with a small satisfying sense of pleasure, he went back to the office and had his talk with Steve. Dan had changed into some jeans after booking Bender and had filled out, yet another, expense claim.

Walking into the office, he found every one cracking a large smile. Damn that coconut wireless, going into Steve's office, Steve also had a big grin plastered on his face. Well he sure as hell didn't find it funny!

"Well, Danno. Seems you like to bump into people who have connections." Steve started not even letting him take a seat. "Your little incident with Mr. Higgins cost you an afternoon of playing valet at a charity auction at the Kaneohe Country Club. Apparently, the man Mr. Higgins was counting on couldn't make it."

Dan sat down loudly in the chair in front of Steve's desk and muttered quietly wishing he had never met Bender or Higgins.

ZZZZZZZZ
A week later, Dan was at home going through his mail, the usual collection of bills and junk mail. Sorting through it, a thick envelope caught his eye, realizing it was from the King Kam club, Dan quickly opened the letter, maybe it was good news. In such a rush, he cut his right index finger on the envelope as he sucked on his finger he looked at the King Kam Club letterhead. Dan had finally submitted his application, about the only good thing to happen to him this past week. According to Rick it would be easy, so this was probably financial disclosure stuff. Dan opened it to find a long terse two-page letter.


Dear Mr. Williams,
We regret to inform you that your application for
Membership in King Kamamahe Club has been denied for the following reasons.
Irresponsible, a danger to public safety

Huh, Dan thought, what did that? . He continued to read.

Total disregard for the citizens of Hawaii, reckless and
Danger to the public good.

This was unreasonable, and didn't have anything to do with joining the damn club.

As Dan continued reading his mouth dropped open, the accusations were absolutely and undeniably totally absurd. Dan crumbled up the letter and tossed it into the wastebasket. So much for the King Kam Club, he would be at the Makaha for a little while longer.


ZZZZZZZ

Another glorious game of sand volleyball, after his adventure with Bender and Higgins it felt good to have some physical exercise, to release all the tension and headaches he experienced over the past few weeks.

Sitting down on the beach, Dan, Rick and TC were enjoying a nice cold beer.

"So, Danny did you ever submit an application to the King Kim Club?" Rick asked his weekly question as he smiled broadly.

Dan pondered telling him, well if he did maybe he would stay off his back. "Yes, I did, Rick, and I was turned down and got this two page rejection letter", the pain still hurting. "Why, is there anything else?"

"That's strange", a perplexed look came over Rick's face. "Higgins only sends a short one page letter, usually."

"Jonathan Quale Higgins?" Dan asked in surprise, remembering all the misery the man had caused him, along with an afternoon of charity work.

"Ya, you know, Higgie-babbie?" TC asked, a quizzical look also on his face.

"Let's just say I ran into him a few times, all right. I should warn you, Rick. If you ever bring up the King Kam Club and Higgins again I'm going to arrest you for harassment."

Both Rick and TC had the oddest look on their face as Dan got up to leave.

PAU