A word from the freaky bitch who thinks up the cracked out stories she has no right to attempts, cuz she can't write worth shit:

Its true, you know it. This idea has been in the works for a while when I realized, in my own quest, that no two lovers kissed the same exact way, and hey, who better to inflict this kind of genius on than my favorite fox? Then I started having fun and re-reading and editing and decided that, in my haste, I kind of destroyed the light mood... So another chapter may come up, exactly the same, except the Sasuke part may be altered to be more like they're younger or something, more light. I haven't decided.

Read, masturbate and enjoy!

Naruto had learned that no two kisses were alike. Books had them printed out in black and white, the light touch then becomes a firm press, the tongue darting out to lick at the lips seal and so on.

He'd been on a co-op Sand mission to hunt a loose gang leader, as a favor from one village to another. Gaara had been his only partner to elude easier and many a night, when they decided stumbling away half dead wasn't as effective, they'd fall asleep almost on top of one another at the base of a boulder or tree, becoming as small as possible. By the morning of the third week Naruto had established Gaara's resting cycle and waited a prompt two minutes after opening his own eyes to kiss away the sleep from his usually stony lips. "People in my circle don't do that sort of thing." he casually retorted the first morning while nodding his head. "Well, we're not in your circle are we." The sand-nin only shrugged and accepted the morning ritual.

Kiba, on the other hand, was a strange doggy like kisser. He liked to use his tongue in every which way possible, more like a taste test he later admitted when the hormones had cooled. With Akamaru's pup keep lost for a while Naruto had sicked his fox nose on the scent and put it to the ground with the other two keen nosed dogs before the mother came back and ripped them all to bits. He hadn't meant to full out mack the boy's face off, just a peck on the lips to say your welcome and their lips locked. As he asked later, after being ravished and tousled and bitten his fair share, how instinct kicked in. Kiba wolfishly replied "No instinct. Instinct is with a woman. That my foxy friend was sheer lust." He blushed and took one more nippy kiss then leapt from the window. He only excused his bruises and vampire scars as a result of a dog fight while helping Akamaru . "Ah, but which dog? You didn't seem to put up a fight." Tsunade smirked. Naruto hissed at her.

He'd kissed Hinata once too. A light French that just seemed to slip from his mouth. Light and completely void, like her eyes and voice. Shortly after Neji found him. "Do you always practice your form?" Naruto inquired mid thrust, but bit the pale lip under his fangs to stop a yelp-ish moan. Neji told him he was just naturally graceful, dragon snaking was as instinctive as breathing.

Even in a heart broken stupor Sakura had submitted to his advances, devouring his face rather un-ladylike. It wasn't beneath him to reject his childhood heart throb and liquor her up a good bit before making his escape, leaving Ino to help pick the girl back up. Politely of course.

However, when asked about his love life, he'll admit to only one person ever to leave a scratch on his ghostly heart, amid all his kisses and nights out. The only one he couldn't play right. One he could never flatter and woo like the rest. And, when asked, he'd say the most he ever felt in a single, almost kiss, by his standards, was in a dark alley.

It seemed the only place they ever crossed each other. The detour back from the training grounds. He'd felt the air drop in temperature and his insides churn with warmth, a claw like nail at his jugular. "Sas-" The nail's twin would clasp harshly around his lips. Two dark silhouette passed the passages entrance and moved on. Firm torso seemed to grow at his back, attaching itself to the nails and fingers and arms, wrapping themselves around his neck and chest. The man's breath on his back, for he wasn't a boy anymore, neither of them were, wisping around his hair. From there Naruto wouldn't go on to anymore, but in his mind he'd be lost for the evening, remembering his first and last encounter, sipping ceremoniously on the man's favorite brew of sake, traditional and elegant he'd called it before.

He got the best of him, and only the best. Which of course to some was the worst. He chuckled. That one night he'd smelt the breath and skin of Him for a moment enough, he'd closed his eyes and tried to melt together, letting loose, tilting his head into the mans shoulder and feeling his lips for two moments behind his ear, the meat of his neck. For him a release for tension and distrust, allowing a person close enough to slit his throat clean. For the other one more second of his old life's sanity, then dropping into his dark abyss of vengeance.

Naruto would reminisce for that night, untouchable by the oldest and closest lovers, the best of friends, for each was leagues away from his devotion to his old partner. They knew and accepted their fates, destroying each other as their last act of compassion for the other.