Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of its characters, merchandise, TV rights, ect… (I think you get the point.)

Summery

ONE SHOT – He had only said it as a joke to get the blond off of his back. After all who would be stupid enough to take something like that seriously? Oh yeah, Naruto Uzumaki that's who. (Sasuke/Ino)

Like all of my work this is just something that happened to float through the empty void inside my head. Like it or hate it please R and R as honest opinions are always welcomed, as are random acts of worship.

Lamb: I have to say this isn't my best, but at the same time it's not too bad for something I only came up with this morning cus I totally spaced about it being Sasuke's birthday. Being his fangirl can be so hard.

Muse: So basically it's the same load of crap that you normally come up with. Oh joy!

Dedi: Would you ever just shut up? Anyway this fic is dedicated to AkemiYumikov3 cus her SasuIno fics are just too cute. So AkemiYumikov3 this is for you.

Lamb: As always sorry for any bad spelling and if you feel the need to throw things at me please wait until I've hidden behind the sofa kay!?

Muse: On with the fic!

I'm a bitch, I'm a tease,
I'm a goddess on my knees,
When you hurt, when you suffer,
I'm your angel undercover,
I've been numbed, I'm revived,
Can't say I'm not alive,
You know I wouldn't want it any other way,

All Wrapped up in Ribbons

Furious! Enraged! Seething! Murderess!

And these few words barley managed to even begin to describe the rage that was sending tendrils of white hot fire coursing through the veins of one, Ino Yamanaka. Add to which was the fact that her head was throbbing from the hard blow she had received that had sent her sleep addled mind tumbling into unconsciousness. And to make matters worse she was only warring her pyjamas (black shorts and a light purple tank top) and a large ribbon that someone had thoughtfully tied around her neck. The same thick silken like stuff was also binding her wrists and ankles.

The last thing the seventeen-year-old remembered was being woken up by the sound of someone moving through her room, then there had been the blinding pain before deep cool darkness consumed her. And now here she was in a house that was most definitely not her own sitting on the floor in-between two boys. One grinning from ear to ear, if he'd been a dog, a big golden retriever that sheds it hair all over the place, his tail would be nothing but a blur. The other simply looked dumb struck.

"Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Uzumaki," Ino's voice when she spoke was soft and deadly. "If I don't get some answers I'm going to start screaming."

Flash Back

"Oh come on Teme!" Naruto whined, sounding annoyingly like the bratty Genin he'd once been. "There must be something you want."

"I've already told you, you don't have to get me anything." Why couldn't the baka just let the subject go, Sasuke thought irritably, he'd already said he didn't care but the blond just couldn't seem to get the message.

"And I've already told you I'm going to. Believe it! So just bite the bullet and tell me already. I can get you anything, just name it." There was something awfully like a challenge gleaming in those deep blue eyes that were watching the dark haired male intently.

"I don't know, anything you pick will be fine." Coupons for free ramen, while not the ideal birthday gift at least weren't what you could call life threatening and he highly doubted that Naruto would come up with a better idea before tomorrow.

"As it's your eighteenth Sakura said she was going to give you something very, very special." This got no vocal response from the stoic obsidian eyed male, but Naruto saw the way his shoulders tensed and continued to push his advantage. "Yep, she said that your present was going to be her in your bed warring nothing but a ribbon."

"Ugh! I don't want Sakura, in a ribbon or otherwise, anywhere near my bed! That's just…" Sasuke pulled a revolted face. It wasn't this he disliked the rosette girl, it was just that he thought of her as a sister and the idea of bedding your own sister. He had to close his eyes as he tried to keep from retching as he shoved his almost untouched bowl of ramen away from him.

"I bet you wouldn't be saying that if it was Tenten." Naruto said slyly and almost choked on his own food when he saw the way that his team-mates eyes almost bugged right out of his head. If only he had had a camera with him.

"Tenten?" Even to his own ears, Sasuke's voice sounded much higher than usual, but that was what shock did for you. And for the life of him he couldn't work out why Naruto was bring up the weapons mistress. "Please, I have no interest in her at all."

"So that's a no, then?" He questioned innocently, while trying not to look as if he were enjoying pushing Sasuke's buttons. But it was just so much fun to see the normally so calm, cool and in control Uchiha cracking, not from pressure but from irritation.

"Yeah that's a no." Sasuke growled, growing more and more pissed off with every passing second.

"How about Hinata?" That was kinda low, Naruto knew. Dangling your own girlfriend in front of your friend like a piece of bate was not something you did, but he was determined to get some sort of reaction from Sasuke even if he had to systematically list every female they knew. After all there had to be at least one mister congeniality would like to see in nothing but a ribbon, unless he really was the anal retentive asexual git most people seemed to think.

"Hell yeah, she's hot. Too bad she's with a Dobe like you." He smirked widely as his blond friend deliberately ignored his comment, like he had anything to worry about for most of her life the indigo haired girl had idolised Naruto and that wasn't about to change any time soon.

"Temari then?" Naruto knew that this name was also a none starter, it would either take someone really brave or really stupid to willing tangle with Suna's most deadly export. That girl was easily more terrifying than her baby brother, so Naruto could only conclude that Shikamaru Nara had a death wish.

"Nope, the bitch has claws ya know." And while Sasuke was prepared to admit that there were indeed a few more kinky aspects to his character the idea of being ripped to shreds by the wind-using sister of the Kazekage was not one that turned him on.

"What about Ino?" And this time Naruto was fairly sure he'd struck gold, no pun intended of course.

"Ino…?" Sasuke trailed off; there was something very appealing about the idea of the blonde vixen in his bed warring nothing but a ribbon, not that he would ever let anyone know that. "Are you insane? She's even more of a brat than you are."

"Lire!" Naruto yelled, pointing at the Uchiha and flashing his trade mark grin. He had seen the distant, faraway expression that had crossed his friend's face when he thought of the athletic blonde. It was the same look he'd been giving every so often for the past few weeks, just about every time Ino Yamanaka happened to be around. "But at least now I know what I'm going to give you. I'm going to give you Ino!"

"Sure, sure Dobe." Rolling his eyes, Sasuke regarded his companion scornfully. "Tomorrow morning the only present I want is Ino with a bow round her neck, purple for preference."

"Done!" Before he could react Sasuke's hand had been grabbed and shaken by the smirking blond boy. "I take it I have permission to break into your place to deliver your present?"

"Whatever." Tossing some money on the counter to pay for the food he had not eaten, the last Uchiha walked away from his sometime friend, long time pain in the ass, muttering to himself that the sooner all this birthday business was over the better.

End Flash Back

Oh Kami, Sasuke though looking down at the glowering young woman, if he'd thought for one moment that Naruto would really but stupid enough to…

No, by now he should have leaned that that blond fool was capable of anything, with the possible exception of thinking to the end of a sentence or eating with his mouth closed. But he was a good friend, and as such always tried to give those he cared about what they wanted, which meant the he, Sasuke, was now metaphorically holding a tiger by its tail. And forget what he said about Temari having claws, the blonde sitting on his living-room floor would probably rip his throat out the moment her hands were free.

Oh joy! Oh rapture! Oh what a perfect way to start celebrating your eighteenth birthday, which was also looking like it might well be you last day period. And all the while the demon vessel was beaming and nodding as if he had just done something very cleaver and not something that had potentially homicide repercussions. But looking back down at the still fuming and somewhat pouting Ino, he had to admit that imminent death never looked so good. Fuck it!

"Haha!" Naruto chortled happily, looking like the cat that'd just gotten the cream. "Happy birthday Teme, I said I get her for you, didn't I?"

"Naruto you-" But even as Sasuke lunged at the boy he vanished in a puff of smoke and snarling with rage he realised it had been a damned clone. It made sense when he thought about it, after all once Ino was done mutilating his body Naruto would be the next one on her list.

"Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to untie me?" The rather peeved voice broke though Sasuke's musings and dispelled the satisfying images of Ino standing over Naruto's bloody remains.

"Shit Ino, I'm so sorry." He knelt down and swiftly began to undo her deep purple bindings, trying to keep his fingers from lingering on her soft skin. "Naruto wouldn't stop bugging me about what I want for my birthday. And I jokingly said that the only present I wanted was you all wrapped up with a purple bow. I had no idea that baka would actually-"

"Gee Sasuke, most guys are happy with a kiss, which was what you were going to get by the way." Ino pushed away his offered hand and got a little shakily to her feet, before redirecting her glare at Sasuke. "Most guys, which it's clear to see you're not, well they don't tend to go for kidnapping."

He couldn't help but wince, he could hear the splinters of ice in very syllable she spoke, though to be fair the blue eyed blonde did have every right to be furious. One the rare occasions that he had over slept, he had awoken to the disturbing sight of Naruto hovering over his bed so he could only imagine how traumatic it must have been for Ino. And that was before he knocker her out and tied her up.

"I'm sorry Ino, I really am. So sorry." Over and over Sasuke mumbled out the words that seemed to have little effect on the blonde, not that that really surprised him, while in his mind he came up with more and more painful ways to dispatch his best friend.

"Hmff." Ino knew that she should have long ago stalked to the door, wrenched it open and marched home with her nose in the air and her temper swirling around her like mist. So way was it that she was still standing in a room with Sasuke Uchiha who was warring nothing but the pair of black boxer shorts he'd slept in? Naruto having almost literally dragged him out of bed to come and see his gift i.e. her.

Using the pretence of tossing her head to show her displeasure, Ino let her eyes sweep over hi partly naked form. He had the typical body type that most shinobi she knew did, with the one exception of her team-mate Chouji Akimichi. Well built, yet slender. He was lean and strong, with an air of a short life filed with intense risk-taking, which in its self was a ninja trait. Untamed soft blue black hair fell into his face framing the extraordinarily high cheekbones and the deep, seemingly bottomless onyx eyes, the high forehead and sculptured lips. The lines of his face contrasted with the youthfulness of his body, but they were the hollows and recesses of suffering not age, a deepening around the eyes and down the planes of his face. His skin was fair, almost pale, and there was a fine next work of scars criss-crossing his torso.

Ino was almost drooling at the sight as well as the images her imagination was pouring into her mind. She was on the point of completely spacing out when the sound of his voice brought her back to reality with a bump.

"Umm, Ino?" Sasuke said, rubbing the back of his in a way very reminiscent of his sensei when he was unsure of the reaction his words might get. "Is that kiss still on offer?"

"I don't know." Ino sniffed, trying to regain some of haughty manner, which is quite hard to do when you've spent most of the morning trussed up like a Christmas turkey. "Are you going to try and tie me up again?"

A slight smile pulled at his lips and he shook his, indicating that, no he didn't wish to have her tied up again. For a long moment Ino regarded him, her life long crush, icy blue eyes drinking in every detail of him. Then her small hands, with their delicate fingers, reached up to cup his face and drew him down to her waiting mouth.

The warmth and self-assured confidence of his lips moving over her own, the way his tongue brushed at her lower lip asking for entrance with she willingly gave, were unlike anything she had experienced before. It seemed as if she had been waiting her whole life for this one moment, that everything in her life up till then had just been a pale shadow of what was to come, and now that it was here it took her breath away.

It was soft and gentle touch, but her mouth was liquid fire and sent and electric current buzzing through his lips. Then pushing harder, demanding entrance to the warm wet cavern as his right hand slid to the back of her neck, entangled in the fine pale gold strands and pulled her head back. She nipped at his bottom lip, teasingly offering him her mouth only to refuse him access. Her hands ghosted lightly over his hard torso, feeling the taut muscle under skin before her palms came to rest on his broad shoulders. Her mouth opened then and freely his tongue explored, relishing the sweet taste of her. Slow and sensual, she seemed to be melting into him; it was all so easy and un-rushed.

Sasuke chuckled softly as he reluctantly pulled away before flashing the lithe blonde a wolfish smile. "No Ino, I don't want you tied up again…I thought that this time you could maybe tie me up instead."

"Really?" Ino said, her tone interested and her face feigning wide-eyed innocence. "And I thought it was your birthday not mine."

Lamb: (rolls eyes) Sorry about that ending, it was meant to end with the kiss. But oh no, Sasuke just has to be the kinky little person he really is and open his mouth and ruin everything.

Muse: (laughs at Lamb having a mental breakdown)

Dedi: Ugh, you fool! Well, AkemiYumikov3 we hope you liked it.

Please R and R I'd love to know what you thought.

Big luv see ya

Lamanth