Love and Soba

Episode 1

"You would not BELIEVE what she's like in bed, either." Allen shoveled more of the roast turkey into his mouth, continuing to talk as he chewed it down. "She's like some sorta… I dunno… Lavi, you have GOT to get yourself a girl."

"Eh. Can't. You know what the Panda would say. 'Lavi, you must not let yourself be distracted from the path of the Bookman. Relationships are a burden you cannot afford.' Crap like that. Anyway, you know my… tastes… aren't always the same as yours." Yuu thought the redhead's eyes shifted toward him for a moment, but maybe it was just a trick of the light.

"What about you, Kanda," Allen asked through another mouthful of turkey. "You got someone 'special' you like to take back to your room at night?" There was a mischievous sparkle in Allen's good eye. It put Yuu on edge, as always.

"None of your business, Bean Sprout." Don't look up. Don't make eye contact. Don't let him know he's touched a nerve. Give him an inch and he'll never stop.

"Oh c'mon, Kanda. There's gotta be somebody. Why don'cha just spill already? Is it Lenalee? I've seen the way she looks at you."

Lavi's eyebrow quirked upward. "Seriously? I didn't know Lenalee was into Kanda. Since when?"

Allen moved to hush the redhead. "You bring HER back to your room at night, Kanda? She like it when you let her touch 'Mugen'? Oh, are your cheeks turning red?"

"BEAN SPROUT!!" The bench clattered backward as Yuu jumped to his feet, slamming one hand onto the table and gripping the hilt of his sword with the other.

Allen giggled evilly.

"Are you boys fighting AGAIN?" Yuu heard Lenalee's saccharine voice behind him and felt his face heat further. Please let her not have heard what that idiot Allen had said.

"Oh no, of course not, ma'am," Allen said, affecting a deep voice. "We were just enquiring into our good friend Kanda's sex life. Weren't we, Lavi?"

Lavi hummed appreciatively, casting another look at Yuu. Why did he have to keep doing that?

Lenalee laughed, a sound like glass windchimes in a gentle breeze. She took a seat next to Yuu, across the table from the other exorcists. "Well, there's not really much to tell, is there Kanda? I mean, you're still a virgin, aren't you?"

Yuu felt his brain melting. Oh, it was true, of course. But how could Lenalee just TELL them like that? And he couldn't yell at her like he always yelled at Allen and Lavi. She was Lenalee. You just didn't yell at Lenalee. Anyway, Yuu didn't. Still, he wanted to lash out.

"BEAN SPROUT!!"

"Hey, what'cha getting mad at me for? Is it MY fault you can't get yourself laid?"

Lenalee made a shushing sound. "No, Allen, it's not like that! Kanda is just saving himself for someone special. Isn't that right, Yuu?" She turned toward him with a smile.

"Is he, now," Lavi asked, stroking his chin thoughtfully.

Yuu stormed out of the dining hall, praying that he might still manage to salvage some scrap of his dignity.