Title: All Dressed in Off-White

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.

Rating: PG-13 (my default rating)

Summary: The chains meant "'til death do us part" already. The ring just made it official. Multi-chaptered. LxLight.

Key: 'words' thinking

Chapter 1: Preparations

Ryuuzaki felt his L-sense tingling as his prime suspect turned from him, notebook in hand. From his vantage point, he could see Light's cheeks bulging slightly, as if the tips of his mouth were drawn up into a smile.

'And that scream before…most peculiar…now that I think about it, Light hadn't even been looking directly at the Shinigami, as his father was…'

There was a reason Ryuuzaki was the greatest (three) detective(s) in the world. He knew when to make judgment calls, knew when to trust his instincts, knew how to play people, and knew when to jump to action. Right now, he was being told that Light was up to something, and if he wanted to live past his 25th year of life, it was high time to interfere immediately.

"Light-kun," he said slowly, "face me while you check the names."

For a fraction of a millisecond, Light tensed and L's cranial alarms went haywire.

"Why would you like me to turn around, Ryuuzaki?" the boy asked, his voice lined neatly with steely politeness, back still shielding him.

"Enough," Ryuuzaki ordered. "Turn around this instant and look at me, notebook and all, or I will have you arrested for suspicious behavior."

"You can't arrest me for not looking at you, Ryuuzaki," Light scoffed, but L could hear the whisper of alarm.

"I, as L, control police agencies all over the world. I could have you incarcerated for breathing on me."

To be fair, that last line was not true but Ryuuzaki wished it were: he would have put that Kyoko girl behind bars a long time ago. Forgetting the situation at hand, Ryuuzaki shivered. The memory of her was almost tangible, sitting so close to him in class she would be breathing down his neck, giggling gleefully on the off-chance his hand touched hers.

Touch?

"Light-kun, turn around and face me," Ryuuzaki commanded, "or I will have no choice but to brand you a coward."

This comment prodded Light's unshakeable pride exorbitantly, and so wound around to face Ryuuzaki. "Pardon?"

The overgrown owl was never one to express feelings with any organ, in particular his mouth, but there was indubitably the spirit of a smirk there. Light bristled as Ryuuzaki reached a spider-hand to him expectantly.

"The notebook, Light-kun…if you would please."

What? He hadn't even—he didn't have time to—Christ, he didn't get the chance to touch his watch!

"No!" he blurted out and then blanched obviously afterwards. Shit. Shit!

'That was telling,' thought Ryuuzaki wryly.

"Let it go," he warned, leaning forward.

Light grit his teeth, clenched his fingers. Oh, over his dead body.

"Damn it, L," Light snapped, holding the Note away from the detective. "You always want to control everything! I promise you, I have control over this, so please go back to monitoring the Shinigami's interactions with the rest of the task force."

'Now I'm 'L,' huh? Kira, you're slipping…'

"You do not seem to be in control," L stated, catching Light's note-free hand in is own, "as your clammy, sweaty palms tell me otherwise." The man pressed forward, scrambling about on his knees across the seat, forcing Light to be pushed up against the side of the helicopter door. They sat there, wide eye to wide eye, Light holding the Note above both of them, as if trying to push the book back into the sky it fell from. The teenaged genius glowered at Ryuuzaki mutinously, indian-red hair splayed messily across his slick forehead, pupils constricted into dots.

L kneeled upon Light's chest, digging his bony knees purposely into his ribs. Light winced, and Ryuuzaki, using this distraction to its fullest, lunged for the hovering Death Note. But Light would not relinquish his grip.

"Let go," ordered L, "Kira."

Light, in his spontaneous madness, was jolted back to earth with the utterance. He paused.

"I'm not Kira," he grumbled, and let go.

(xxx)

'Sweet victory,' Ryuuzaki gloated silently, rewarding himself with a handful of marshmallows back at headquarters. He spared a side-glance at his companion/foe/rival/compatriot, who now had two sets of his own shiny cuffs snapped onto his wrists and ankles.

Light looked awfully bewildered and befuddled, by the Death Note, by the Shinigami, and by…

"Ryuuzaki," he said firmly, though his eyes held a certain uncertainty, "There's no way I could be Kira! Someone can not murder and have no memory of it, that's—"

"—impossible, Light-kun?" L finished in a drawl, motioning to the ghastly figure in front of them, and the slim black notebook Matsuda was in the midst of examining.

Light shook his head, frustrated. "That can't—I would never do something like that!"

"Light," Soichiro said quietly, looking equally troubled by L's unwavering accusation that his son, without a doubt, had been Kira just an hour ago.

Light balled his fists and paced, mumbling about how things didn't make sense or how the pieces did not fit, when Ryuuzaki knew that Light believed in his heart that the pieces did fit and it all did make sense. Though reluctant to admit it, Ryuuzaki felt the ghost of an inkling of sympathy: to be left without a memory of a crime, to be chasing after the criminal that had led to his capture and torture, and then to find that the criminal was himself all along must have felt beyond humiliating.

But L shrugged off compassion and emotion and left it to die in the dirt. L was the bastion of justice, not sentiment, and it had to be taken into account that it was Light who made the conscious decision to flip open a murder notebook (how ridiculous a notion, paper and pen could kill) and write in the names of thousands.

L's brows furrowed. Now that he thought on it, Light's abrupt changes of attitudes…were the murders really due to his conscious efforts?

There was no evidence of awareness, perception, or the realization of existence after the boy had forsaken the notebook. L could see that with one look at his eyes.

(xxx)

Light was gone.

Physically, he was there, he remained as a shell in the world of the living, but it was clear that neither Kira nor Light was there with L in the helicopter. L clasped the notebook snugly and craned his paly neck to study Light's eyes, which had only moments before been glittering like moons. And now…

Eclipsed. No moons. New moons. Dead moons. Dead quiet, too, as there wasn't a peep from Light. Tentatively, L waved his spindly fingers in Light's face. He reacted in no way, only breathed evenly. L put a hand to Light's heart, which, thankfully, was beating at a normal rate.

"Ryuuzaki? Ryuuzaki, did you find anything suspicious with that book?"

"Crazy…killing with a notebook…has to be fake, a trick to it."

Matsuda, Mogi, and Chief Yagami had gathered around the vehicle, apprehension shining in their faces against the high beams and searchlights. Soichiro, sensing L's tension, stepped over to peek through the window. His lips tightened into a thin line at the sight of his son, blankly gazing nowhere.

"Light? …Son?"

The voice of his father instilled new life into Light, and he shook himself out of his apparent daydream. With a puckered brow he snapped at L.

"Why did you have to grab it from me? I'm part of this investigation, too, Ryuuzaki!"

L cocked his head jerkily. "I did not…take it from you, Light-kun, you gave it to me."

"Against my will. You know, it really takes no creativity to control me by threatening to up my Kira percentage."

L blinked and looked to Watari, who shook his head. To the best of both their memories, Ryuuzaki had done no such thing.

Light folded his arms. "Are you done? Could I please have it back?"

L hunched over the notebook in his hands further, and edged away from Light. "No," he said severely. "No, I don't believe it is a good idea for you to come in contact with this, Kira."

"Excuse me?" A baffled Light sputtered. "You still think I'm Kira? After we caught—?"

Soichiro's walkie-talkie crackled with Aizawa's frantic voice.

"Chief! Chief, Higuchi's…Higuchi's saying some weird things over here."

"What?" Soichiro barked.

"He's …he's—"

"What is this? Do you know who I am? I'm Kyosuke Higuchi of the Yotsuba Corporation! Get these fucking cuffs off of me! This is wrongful imprisonment!"

Matsuda was bathing in disbelief. "Wrongful impri-? What? He practically admitted to being Kira just a few minutes ago, the idiot!"

"Un-cuff me! I pay your salary, damn it!"

Ryuuzaki glanced at Light, who appeared just as bemused as the rest of the team.

'It's like that time before…with the imprisonment of Light Yagami and Misa Amane!'

L purloined the walkie-talkie from a shocked Soichiro's fist. "Aizawa-san, please ask him why he was on his way to Sakura TV this evening."

There was a static mumble and then:

"Any connection of Yotsuba Corporation to Kira would destroy the company. If that Taro Matsui falsely accused any of us of being Kira, then we would be fired, lynched, executed and—and more! It was only natural that I would seek him out!"

Aizawa answered him gruffly. "So you sought him out with a gun?"

To anyone, Higuchi's claims would be regarded as grandiose acting skills. L was not just anyone. There was a pattern to this, L knew. The strange reactions, touching the notebook, losing memories…there was something L was missing.

L spoke with half distrust and half satisfaction, because this case was about to be wrapped up so neatly and nicely it was almost too good to be true. "Aizawa-san. Did Higuchi say or do anything strange before he started acting like this? Was there a turning point in his behavior?"

Aizawa didn't say anything for awhile and from the helicopter Ryuuzaki could see the man scratch his head of voluminous hair as he thought.

"There is one thing, I guess. Something strange…"

Matsuda, Mogi, Soichiro, and even Light looked as if they were holding their breath. Ryuuzaki wanted so badly to make a wise crack about it, but fortunately decided that this was not the time.

"He said, 'I give it up! I give up ownership!'"

"It's this useless pride. I'll just have to…get rid of it."

There was the missing piece, and the key to Light's jail cell. L looked triumphantly around, lastly at his chained companion, and noted his furrowed brows rather than a look of raw hatred that one is supposed to wear when their terrible secret is out.

Ryuuzaki gazed at Light from the corner of his eye, trying to imagine the boy, no, the murderer, in an orange jumpsuit, the long, thin shadows of bars coloring his face in black and grey.

His stomach tossed but he chalked it up to the slightly spoiled cheesecake he had had that afternoon.

(xxx)

Rem was not happy, as far as Shinigami go.

Light had failed to obtain his memories and ownership of the Death Note. This man, this L Lawliet, crouched by his side. His lifespan had more than doubled just an hour ago and was the new owner of the Death Note. L also liked to ask a lot of questions: questions that would probably incriminate both Light and Misa if she answered in the affirmative, so she kept her maw shut.

She stared blankly, denied having any knowledge of "This page of the notebook is torn; is it possible to successfully murder by writing on scraps of paper?" and "What is the 'trade'?" After each inquiry, she would glance nonchalantly at Light, who gazed back at her passively. She wished she could grab the book out of this L human's hands and shove it into Light's, but that surely would not guarantee Misa's safety. Rem quashed the desire to just catch a momentary glimpse of the blonde flashing on the many monitors; she was already exhibiting too much interest in Light Yagami and had thus interested L.

"Rem," L said, holding the notebook in a way the Shinigami had never seen humans hold anything, "do Shinigami normally find humans attractive? You seem to like to look at Light." Though that in of itself was not unusual, as Light was quite handsome.

Rem narrowed her eyes at L. Although it was true that she had developed something like emotion for Light, it was not as strong as the love she held for Misa and it would not be in their advantage if this affinity was revealed. "No. It is…taboo for a Shinigami to have feelings for a human. It is something one would be made fun of for back in our realm."

L nodded as if he understood. His terrible charcoal eyes slid toward Light, who sat moping in a chair.

"What's wrong, Light-kun?" he asked artlessly. "We have captured Higuchi and his notebook. This is no time to sulk."

"Shut up," the boy said curtly from behind his hands, slapped onto his face in apparent shame. "This is an excellent time to sulk. Just because of some harebrained comments from Higuchi and my panic attack in the helicopter, you are accusing me of being the original Kira. It's unjustified, Ryuuzaki. You will send both Misa and I off to the execution chambers because of behavior."

Rem stilled. Execution chambers…she had forgotten that Misa's life was still at stake.

"It's strange behavior, Light-kun," Ryuuzaki asserted. "Why would you fight so hard to keep the notebook? It is also abnormal that Higuchi suddenly starts acting like he's innocent, just as you did when you went under surveillance. You both also made statements about renouncing custody of a certain something. I could get out the surveillance videos if you like."

"No need," Light grumbled.

"So, Rem," Ryuuzaki began, "What about memories and the Death Note? What happens when you give up ownership, such as with Higuchi's case?"

"I am unaware of the effect it would have on humans," the God of Death answered. "Shinigami have no need to delve into matters like giving up the Note, as it is the source of our existence."

Ryuuzaki pushed his thumb to his mouth, and Rem was reminded of a human infant. "You are being awfully careful with your words, Rem."

"Why should I share the secrets of the Death Note with the likes of humans?"

Ryuuzaki rolled around in his chair, chewing his marshmallows into a fine paste. "Is it really that…?" he mumbled to himself. "It sounds almost as if you are protecting someone."

Rem tried to make her face as neutral as possible. 'This man, L…he has the same mind as Light Yagami's…'

"Am I to assume that Higuchi will be useless for interrogation?"

This spider-human was really starting to get on Rem's last nerve. "I do not know. Why don't you see for yourself…L?"

That emphasis made L Lawliet, as the words floating over his head labeled him, stop nibbling his thumb and stare expressionlessly at Rem. Satisfaction washed over the Reaper as she saw the threat dawn on him: she knows my name.

L was never one to back down from threats, and so countered with his own.

"No, I don't believe Higuchi would be much help," L said thoughtfully. "Though, I do believe this case is wrapped up."

Aizawa, Ide, Yagami, Mogi and Matsuda shared strained glances. Watari entered the room with a cart filled with pastries, evidently unaware of the weight of the situation—the end of the Kira investigation. Soichiro coughed.

"Ah…so, your conclusion, Ryuuzaki?"

"Light was the original Kira. Misa and Higuchi were but both victims of Kira's influence." He ignored Soichiro's mouth working and Light's noxious gaze to pick out a cheese danish.

"Therefore, Misa and Higuchi will be imprisoned with a life sentence, and Light will be executed."

The clamor that was raised almost burst L's eardrums. He almost regretted testing his theory.

"What? I WAS NEVER—"

"Ryuuzaki?"

"No, you can't do that!"

'Oh no,' Rem moaned inwardly. Not as planned. She'd have to do something about this, or the human she was beginning to feel for would die and Misa would be miserable.

She was just about to take out her notebook, scribble his name down, and wait for the cold embrace of death when she realized that it didn't have to end. All she had to do was scare them a little. She was good at that. She had scared the mustachioed man with just her face.

"I can't let you do that, L," she said, stepping forward. "If you do indeed kill or imprison Light Yagami, I will kill you and everyone in this entire room. Perhaps other innocents if you really incense me."

'Not really, though,' Rem said to herself, 'because then I would die.' But they didn't need to know that.

The clamor died down and everyone took on a grim countenance. L's eyes bulged to some extant. This was insurmountable pressure, without a doubt. It still proved his theory, though.

He waggled his toes with zest. "So, you did lie? You like Light-kun, don't you? That means you must have met him before."

"We Shinigami do not have to have met a human to fall in love with him or her. Our bonds form through observation rather than through interaction. Anyway, what does it matter if what I say is a lie? It still stands that I will kill if you go through with your plans."

Ryuuzaki bobbed his head. "Yes, I see that."

Light shook his. "Rem, if you do like me, then you know I would not want you to kill innocents. Do not kill on my behalf. I can work this out on my own."

Rem was struck by this. The Kira she knew would have taken this threat and ran with it. This Light was sincere, genuine—best of all, if he had no intention of sacrificing others in his name, then that meant Misa would be safe. Rem reconsidered leaving the Note in L's hands. Maybe a world without Kira would be better for both parties in the end.

L crouched there, grinding his teeth upon his considerably red thumb. Light was seated beside him, glaring at him still; his execution comment wouldn't be forgotten for some time.

"Have you made your decision, L?" Rem demanded. She towered over him and made her eyes burn red for added effect. Just to make him, as she had heard humans say, "piss his pants" a little. The piss never happened but L did look a little annoyed.

He was cornered. It sounded as if Shinigami were not obliged to follow the rules of the human realm, never mind a democracy. What cell could hold a God of Death? What man could put out of commission Death itself? In fact (and this made L stop his biting altogether), there was nothing stopping Rem from tearing the notebook from his hands and writing all of their names in it right now.

L huddled over his knees gloomily. "Let me think about it," he muttered. With that, after ordering the others to watch Light closely and motioning for Watari to follow him, he wandered off to the security room.

Stupid supernatural entities crushing on humans…

The blue glow of security monitors and computer screens and their droning did nothing to soothe L's woes, and he bitterly tore at his danish.

"Any ideas, Watari?"

The old man shook his head and watched Rem on the monitor. "You know you could not execute Light, anyway. There is no hard evidence."

"No," Ryuuzaki said sourly. "No, I suppose not."

Rather, there was no evidence that Light was truly Light when he murdered. Ryuuzaki blinked away visions of the burgundy-almost-blood-red eyes flaring at him from under Light's bangs.

"It isn't as if you could let him go, either."

"I need to watch him," L mused. "That reaction in the helicopter was so strange. I do not want to risk confirming my 'contact revives memories' theory and bring Kira back into the world…"

They became mute and so sat there eyeing the monitors.

'I need a way to bind myself to Light-kun without angering the Shinigami. It has to be in such a way that promises the Shinigami that Light-kun will be safe…it can't seem as if I'm imprisoning him. I have to show her that Light-kun is benefiting in the end, that he's happy with the arrangements. I can do this. This is all to supervise his actions. I won't lose to anyone: not to Kira and certainly not to a disturbingly affectionate Grim Reaper.'

During his inner monologue, L's eye happened upon the gold loop around Watari's ring finger. From his many discussions with his mentor, L had discovered that even the elder man had secrets he could not unveil. That went ten-fold for matters concerning Watari's wedding band: whenever conversation tiptoed even mistakenly in its direction, it would be veered off course by a blatant rerouting of topic. It was so intriguing to him that L, though respectful of the other's privacy, gleaned whatever he could from the tidbits Watari had handed him over the past seventeen years. All L could discover was that Watari was a widower and the incident tragic…

"A way to bind myself to Light-kun," Ryuuzaki spoke softly.

Watari looked at him, then at Ryuuzaki's line of sight. The old man squared his shoulders. "What?" he said sharply.

The genius hooked his finger onto his lower lip and rolled his eyes to the ceiling in thought. "Watari, I don't mean to pry, but how did you exactly 'pop the question'?"

Watari threw L a stern look and stood up abruptly. "No."

"If you are uncomfortable with giving me the exact words, could you at least lend me some tips?"

"No, I mean, you are not going to do what I think you are going to do. Have you gone mad? He became Kira by just holding the notebook. I know you are attempting to monitor him and soothe that beast out there, Ryuuzaki, but if you were to marry him, you would be marrying the enemy. If he gains his memories while your back is turned—"

"I do not turn my back to anyone," Ryuuzaki affirmed stubbornly, clacking away at his laptop. He peered at the screen, blinking blearily through the lights. "You think Light-kun would be happy with a simple band or a diamond ring? He isn't too ostentatious but I'd like to show him that I'm serious."

"Ryuuzaki," Watari said gruffly, shaking the man by the shoulders. "L, please, please listen to me. You are like a son to me. No, you are my son. I will not lose my son to such a stupid decision!"

"I know what I'm doing, Watari," L said thinly. "I know the dangers involved. I am doing my job, the same as I've been doing since I was thirteen years old. Nothing you say will stop me. This needs to be done and you know it."

One could hear a pin drop, could hear Watari's heart almost fail him as he thought of the many scenarios in which this path would lead to L's death. Then—

"Now, do you think he would like this 14K or this 18K? Personally, I think that 18K looks too showy…"

Watari sighed dejectedly. "Could you not marry him off to an agent? Someone you could trust?"

"I trust no one but myself, Watari," L said. He then frowned. "Light-kun's ring size would be about an 8. Damn. This one is only available in sizes 6 and 7…"

His shoulders slumped, Watari fell into his chair. He drew no comfort from the fact that Soichiro Yagami would be in the same boat as he.

(xxx)

A whole hour later after sending Watari out to the local jeweler, Ryuuzaki emerged from the security room with a box clamped tightly in both hands, as if he were cupping a butterfly in them, and strode over to Light in that languid, slippery way that was reminiscent of a sleepwalker. Light did not know why, but as he saw the box surge closer to him, he felt as if he were about to break out into hives. He cringed; whatever Ryuuzaki had in store for him was sure to be a messy affair.

"I am of the opinion," L announced in his patented bored tone, "that I have come up with a plan that will leave everyone sated, more or less."

Chief Yagami adjusted his glasses to get a better view of the small cube Ryuuzaki was holding and his eyes widened slightly having recognized it. It was perchance similar to the one that he had held at least eighteen years ago, one that had housed a special gift still hugging his wife's finger to this day.

L spoke unhurriedly. He had seen Yagami explode before, and was in no rush to provoke his rage. "Light-kun, no doubt you have realized the…similarities between us during our time chained together, yes?"

Light wondered why his father was sweating so liberally. He nodded, hands clasped in his lap. "There's no question about that. An outsider may say that we share the same brain." He laughed at this, finding the notion ridiculous.

His smile just as sallow and faded as his skin, Ryuuzaki pressed on. "Then…you could also say we….we are two halves?"

The fugitive's stomach cart wheeled. Halves? He and L? The thought was thrilling—to think, he had found a match to his brain after eighteen long years of tedium. L, though shaped differently from Light in appearance and form, curling like a fetus away from the rest of the human race, mirrored his confidence, athletic ability, and most importantly intelligence. Even the fact that L ostracized himself from people, though admittedly to an extreme Light was unwilling to go, promoted a faint sense of camaraderie in Light. They fought, yes, but the fights, of fists storming the battlefield of flesh, were but love letters of rivalry, sealed with black eyes rather than kisses.

Halves? He and L? "Yes, I suppose. What is it, Ryuuzaki?"

Light could actually smell the anxiety rolling off his father in waves. Before he could even ask what the man's problem was, why Watari looked so disapproving, why Mogi was so flushed, why Aizawa had a palm clapped over his forehead, why Ide's face had turned to stone, why Matsuda looked so confused (he didn't really have to ask that one, really, because the man always looked confused), Ryuuzaki had shoved the box in his face so Light could read the brand name jeweler scrawled on top (why the hell would Ryuuzaki buy him jewelry, though? Light could understand celebrating the closure of the case, but this was just excessive) and opened it. The boy anticipated a black, grimy smoke to flow out of it and release all of its earthly worries and evils to the world. No such thing happened—there were no demons of lust, rage, poverty and murder crawling in it, only a ring, and that, Light felt, was worse.

All the pieces clicked for him, just as they had for L in the helicopter, and he focused his amber eyes on the wedding band then raised them to L's face, vaguely aware of his own slightly unhinged jaw. Ryuuzaki looked serious. He looked really, really serious. Shit. Oh, shit.

"Then, let us unite the halves."

The uproar was just as tremendous as before.

"Whoa, hold on!" Aizawa.

"I think…I think my brain just broke." Ide.

"…" Mogi.

"Ryuuzaki was gay all this time?" Matsuda. Of course.

"You are mad," Light declared. "You are positively mad. Is this your mad way of getting us to drive you to the hospital? I'm sure Watari would have been more than happy to do so if you just asked him." Light wished he weren't joking playfully, however, because he really did want this to be the consequence of L's insanity. Light knew deep down that L did everything for a reason: a good, logical reason. Which meant Light would have to follow through with Ryuuzaki's plans because Light was a creature of logic himself.

But if Ryuuzaki had gone off his rocker, he would have no reason to have a hand in this whole ridiculous plot. So Ryuuzaki was insane. Case closed.

"I would like to ascertain that I am quite well psychologically. Watari confirmed this after many rigorous tests regarding my psyche, on which I received exceptional grades. Would you like to see the results?"

Light shot a look to Watari, who inclined his head. Well…this was unfortunate. So there was a reason, a legitimate reason for this insanity. He dropped his head into his hands. "Explain. Explain this."

Just as Ryuuzaki considered investing in the belief of God, because surely it was by the grace of a God he had not yet been pummeled, shot, or shouted at by Yagami (or, as he thought with some amusement, his future father-in-law), the police chief interjected. Ryuuzaki was certain he was not the only one ogling the vein threatening to pop out of the man's forehead. Spittle virtually splattered everywhere and Ryuuzaki actually feared that the chief had contracted rabies.

"What is there to explain? My son is not marrying you, Ryuuzaki!"

Light held up his hand. "Dad, please listen to what Ryuuzaki has to say. I'm sure there is a justification to this."

"Yes," Ryuuzaki said, plopping the opened box onto a simultaneously surprised and mortified Light's lap, "but I would like Rem to hear this."

No sooner had he said that that the female Shinigami had phased through the wall behind Matsuda, who jumped and shrieked.

"Oh man," he moaned, "I'm never going to get used to that."

"Rem," Ryuuzaki addressed, pointedly ignoring Matsuda, "I am going to marry Light-kun. Is this an agreeable arrangement with you?"

Rem regarded the man with caution. "Marriage?"

"Ah, yes, you probably do not know. It is a human custom, where—"

"I know what marriage is. I just don't understand what you would gain by marrying Light Yagami. Traditionally, men and women marry each other and begin a family. I know enough about human anatomy that two males can not do this." She looked from L to Light.

"Unless one of you is female…"

"No, we are both decidedly male," L calmly explained. "In short, if I were to marry Light-kun, I would be able to keep watch over him and ensure that he never becomes Kira without imprisoning or killing him."

'What about Misa?' Rem was about to ask, but stopped. It would only hurt the girl if she displayed too much concern in her wellbeing. No, it would be better if she used Light as a decoy.

"What about his lover?" Rem demanded. "The female, Misa Amane—he would be unhappy if she dies, correct?"

"Yes, Ryuuzaki," Light agreed. "You do not have any real proof that Misa was aware of her actions. Imprisoning or killing her will not allow us to find the truth."

Rem suddenly felt her fondness for Light Yagami grow.

L scratched absentmindedly at an itch on his leg. "Amane-san…will be put under house arrest while we investigate the Note further. Mogi will continue to be her manager."

'After all, Amane-san was hardly the mastermind behind all this.'

Rem loomed over the two males, content with this solution. 'Misa will not be in any danger of being used as Kira's pawn. She will not have to suffer the death of a loved one…"

She frowned, a thought occurring to her. Ever since that "interview" at Yotsuba, Misa knew of she and Light being the original Kiras. Coupled with her personality and her intense love for the sociopath, there was a chance she would act out and throw a wrench in Rem's carefully laid plans and, thus, endanger herself...just to 'win' Light back or get revenge on Ryuuzaki. Rem had to fight to keep her expression impassive.

However, Rem trusted Misa's affections for Light to be pure: if she saw that Light did, indeed, love L, she might back down. She would not interfere with the marriage, therefore keeping L and Light together, therefore keeping Kira in check and therefore keeping Misa out of harm's way.

Rem sighed and was fortunately unheard because of the commotion Soichiro Yagami was making. Why did humans have to be so complicated?

"…I am sensitive to the situation, Ryuuzaki. You are trying to save us and many innocent people, I understand. Nonetheless, do you know the first thing about marriage? About relationships? I accept that Light is a genius but my son is still eighteen years old. You are both two young…and, er, too male, frankly, to marry!"

"I am not that young, Yagami-san. I am at least twenty-five."

The chief blithered. "Tw-twenty-five? You're seven years older than him! He isn't ready for marriage!"

"If he was prepared to kill countless criminals…"

"Enough of that! There has to be some other way. What about Amane-san? How is she going to feel about all this?"

"The way Misa-san will feel is irrelevant, Yagami-san. This is the only way of putting Light legally in my custody and ensuring the safety of those the Shinigami might execute. If it will put you at ease, we will be purchasing a house soon, and this will permit you and your family to see him whenever we are in the country, Yagami-san."

Yagami rubbed his temples. It was true that Sachiko and Sayu were getting increasingly worried about Light and it was also tempting that this marriage would be an opportunity for his child to see something besides the grey, sterile walls of the investigation headquarters. "Why can't you…wait. What do you mean, 'whenever we are in the country'?"

Carefully, L stepped onto his favorite swivel chair and squatted upon it. "As my husband, Light will be required to travel the world with me, solving crimes by my side. He might even be assigned his own letter."

Light's ears perked at this, shaken out of his skepticism. Now they were talking.

Noticing the change in Light's attitude, L continued. "He would also be eligible to take over the position of 'L' should I die and would inherit my…considerable assets."

Chief Yagami just about roared. "I don't care. Do you think I care about those things? We capture Kira and now you come up with some deranged plot that my son is the true Kira because you are unwilling to let go of your hunch. In turn, your hunch galvanizes this monster to threaten us! No, you are in fact unwilling to let go of Light! If I didn't know better, I would have thought that you had your eyes on Light from the beginning of the investigation…maybe even planned all this with the Shinigami! First handcuffs, now this?"

"Dad!" Light said, a little more roughly than usual. Seeing his father taken aback by his tone, Light spoke in a gentler voice. "Dad, please. This is for the good of everyone here. I'm not…well, I'm not all that happy with the measures L has taken, but they make sense. It's the best means out of our dilemma. Think of the people we'll be saving."

Soichiro paced, wiping the sweat from his brow with a handkerchief Watari had kindly handed him. He groaned and leaned up against the wall.

"I guess there's no way to make you both reconsider? There's no other possible plan?" he mumbled jadedly. The man looked so defeated that Ryuuzaki commiserated: all in one night the chief had been shot, captured Kira, had to deal with more accusations that his son was the true Kira, was menaced by a Reaper, and now his son was being married off to a disturbed detective with dreadful posture. The stress must have been overwhelming.

"No," Ryuuzaki said simply. "Am I right in assuming that Light consents to this agreement?"

"Yes," Light said, after a moment. "Yes, we have to do this."

Rem realized everyone was looking to her for an answer, and she bowed her head. "This is an acceptable agreement, L and Light Yagami. Proceed with it however you wish. Light Yagami's happiness is mine."

Suddenly, it seemed as if the strain in the room lessened a little, and Matsuda laughed in relief. "There you go; a happy ending! What do you guys say to some champagne? We have two occasions to celebrate now, eh?"

"Shut up, Matsuda," Soichiro growled but the man obviously did not hear him as he bounced out the door.

"Please," L said, taking hold of this opportunity for at least partial solitude, "everyone go out and enjoy yourselves. There is no reason to be cooped up in here any longer. The case is solved. I only ask for all of you to be on call in case of any…future incidents."

The rest of the task force, save for Yagami, pardoned themselves awkwardly and left. Some stifling silence reigned. Light examined his watch and started: it was five in the morning. He glanced at L who, of course, did not look exhausted in the least, and watched his father with round eyes.

"I'm sorry, you two," Soichiro forced out, sinking into a couch with Watari's help. "I didn't mean to explode. I understand this is something we must do. But you must imagine how very strange it is for Light to be engaged all of a sudden to…to…"

L shuffled over to the couch to permit his fiancée (the word sounded weird even in L's head)to sit with his distraught father. "Yes," he said dispassionately, crouching next to Light. "It is surprising. But this would be a better explanation to your wife why you and Light were not talking, at any rate."

"Ah," the man sighed. "I see…about that…you plan on introducing yourself to my wife and Sayu, right, Ryuuzaki?"

'Well, now I have to,' L griped inwardly. He affirmed this and Soichiro closed his eyes.

"Then…could you both pretend to be in love, for her? My wife would be crestfallen if her son was not marrying for love."

L thought he could hear his and Light's hearts shudder to a halt communally. Going through the motions of marriage, signing documents, wearing rings, cutting the cake in tandem, toasting each other at the wedding ceremony and all that was fine; however, to play at love, to kiss and hold hands? L and Light shared looks of disbelief.

Try as he might, L could not deny this officer his wish, especially when Watari raised his eyebrows at him. You run this man through the mill and refuse him his aspiration? Damn Watari and his infernal eyebrows.

Just as Light opened his mouth to (gently) disagree to the deal, L opened his. "Yes," he said. "Please get some sleep, Yagami-san. I think it is wise for you to spend the night here."

And soon, Soichiro Yagami was asleep.

Watari excused himself to the security room, making preparations to go to bed as well, and Light covered his yawning mouth. He was so tired he almost did not register L offering his hand to him. Light had just enough energy to glare. This whole thing was more than a little humiliating already. What would he do next, carry him bridal style across the threshold?

"Practice," L whispered, even though he knew Light did not need to practice a game of pretend. "And it would be hard for Light-kun to walk in his…state." L's eyes dragged downward to his shackled feet and Light grudgingly took his hand. He was not so stubborn to refuse help, particularly with the uselessness of his rubbery, exhausted and bound legs. They padded softly down the long corridor, L guiding him.

Light felt an unexplainable need to taint the hush. "Crazy day…"

"Yes," Ryuuzaki responded quietly. "Yes, very."

"You know, you could have just cuffed me to your hand, Ryuuzaki, like before."

"I rather hate those handcuffs, so no thank you. I am not the one being punished."

"…My mother is going to flip out. Can you imagine Misa's reaction?"

"Light-kun, I don't even want to know."

They reached the bedroom and when Light threw his body onto the bed, he was instantaneously swimming through dreams. Ryuuzaki stood over Light in the darkness, going over Yagami's words.

"If I didn't know better, I would have thought that you had your eyes on Light from the beginning of the investigation…maybe even planned all this with the Shinigami! First handcuffs, now this?"

Had his eyes on Light from the beginning? Subconsciously…? It was an idea he had rolled around his head from time to time. The photo of Light that L first saw popped into his mind. He had looked at the student's empty eyes and plastic smile just once and thought with a thrill, 'This is Kira. This boy, right here.' Ryuuzaki stuffed his hands into his pockets. There was always something that magnetized him to Light, like negative and positive poles drawn to one another, so he supposed Yagami's notwithstanding delirium-induced theory was correct, in a way...

Ryuuzaki shambled onto the bed, eyes never leaving Light's disturbingly almost-angelic face. Holy matrimony to Light Yagami. A few months ago he would have considered laughing. Still, Light was a clever boy who could hold an intellectually stimulating conversation or debate. Hell, L didn't have to explain things half the time to him (his reasoning, his assumptions, etc). He could always talk to Watari and always had a strong friendship with the man but it wasn't the same as it was missing one exhilarating factor: he couldn't fight with his elderly mentor. Light, on the other hand…

L brushed over a bruise he had received a few days ago, when he had told Light that he believed him to be a murderer and that looking into his eyes would not dispel this notion. Light's eyes had fluttered closed, and then L realized he was receiving a fistful of hatred, slamming straight into his cheek. He suddenly felt light-hearted—from now on, even if he were forced to work horribly lackluster cases, he would always have Light to bounce ideas off of, to squabble with, and, most significantly, to play tennis with.

Maybe this marriage business would be interesting.

'Tomorrow we will have to visit his mother and sister. It won't be that uncomfortable to hold Light-kun's hand, I think. I have found that his skin is not rough or clammy, a discovery made only now after months of sleeping in the same bed. There's a 93 percent chance Sachiko Yagami will be disconcerted by us kissing, so there is a very small probability of that happening, fortunately…'

They would do this, and they would do this flawlessly. After all, they were both brilliant actors.

(xxx)