A/N: Hey guys! Today's chapter is going to be a short one; plus, this one will depart from the Nerd and his hijinks for a bit. Why? Well, you're about to find out. Enjoy this short chapter.

Chapter IV: Rise of the Nefarious Nostalgia

Rivalry, a term often coined for two people who both appear to be equal at something, and both will compete against each other to prove which one of them is undeniably superior. Ever since the dawn of man, rivalries between the mightiest would form, but there is one rivalry in particular that has shaken the entire world, and everyone feasted their eyes on it, wondering who would walk away with the gold.

One person who formed the rivalry was the Angry Video Game Nerd; the other was a movie critic who hailed from Chicago, Illinois. Ever since this critic rose to popularity on the internet, he had formed a grudge against the nerd, and to this day will do anything to make him suffer from defeat.

The critic sat at a desk in his house, located on the outskirts of the city. He was around the Nerd's age, and he wore oval shaped glasses. His clothes consisted of a formal black suit with a white t-shirt. Around his neck was a formal tie which hung loosely around it. On his head he wore a black baseball cap. Those clothes were his attire, and they represented the dark deceptions of his childhood.

He calmly looked at the readers as he introduced himself.

"Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic," he said. "I remember it so you don't have to."

He folded his hands and rested them on the table. He spoke in a very informative and somewhat sentimental voice.

"You know, there have been many cartoon characters that have played a huge part in shaping cartoons during the golden age," the critic began. "Whether it's the friendly and loveable Mickey Mouse or the witty and zany Bugs Bunny, we owe a lot to these guys for entertaining us; and to this day we never forget their legacies. Now, there is one cartoon character from the early twenties that many have seemed to forget about. That character is Felix the Cat. During the silent era of film, his cartoons were a big hit, mainly because of his mischievous behavior, that big grin of his, and the surreal stories that took place in his world. Over the years he's gone through many changes, and in 1991 he got his own movie entitled: Felix the Cat: The Movie."

"Unfortunately, the movie was a box office bomb," he added. He placed his left index finger on his chin, and sarcastically said, "Gee, I wonder why that could be? Was it because the movie was bad? No, it wasn't bad. Was it REALLY bad? Nah, it wasn't really bad. Was it..."

Suddenly, he exploded into a fit of rage, hollering at the top of his lungs.

"THE WORST PIECE OF ELEPANT SHIT THAT ANIMATION HAS CHOKED ON, AND VOMITED ONTO THE SILVER SCREEN TO RAPE PEOPLE'S EYEBALLS!?"

He stopped to catch his breath from shouting. After taking a second, he looked back at the readers, nonchalant. He shrugged his shoulders and smiled whimsically.

"Well, maybe," he said. He looked at the audience with a serious glare, "There's only one way to find out. Let's take a look at the magical adventure that is...."

Before he could finish his sentence, the ringing of the doorbell could be heard.

The critic groaned. He did not like it when someone interrupted his review. However, it would be rather discourteous of him not to answer, since obviously the person at the door knew someone was home.

He turned back to the readers, "Excuse me for one second."

With a heavy sigh, the critic got up from his desk and went to the door. The person at the door continuously rang the doorbell until the critic got to the door and spoke up.

"Alright, alright," the critic snapped in annoyance. "I'm opening the door!"

Upon opening the door, the Nostalgia critic was greeted by a man who wore a large trench coat; his clothing appeared dirty and wrinkled. On his head he wore an orange winter hat, and he had long black hair. He appeared to be a hobo, though, strangely, he bared a striking resemblance to the critic. Was he a relative? Hard to say; the critic had no recollection of any relatives that lived in poverty.

The hobo excitedly lifted his arms into the air, shouting at the top of his lungs. He spoke with a bit of a raspy voice.

"OH, MY GOD, THIS IS THE GREATEST FANFICTION I'VE EVER READ IN MY LIFE!!!" he shouted out.

The critic smacked his forehead in frustration. Clearly, he already crossed paths with this street wanderer before.

"Listen, I told you that I don't give out charity," the critic told the hobo firmly. "Unless it's for a noble cause, like helping to pay the bills I get from going through hours and hours of psychological therapy to get over the horrible movies I review! So, go back to the hole you crawled out of!"

"Hey!" the bum spat out, offended. "Are you insulting my hole!? It's a very cozy place for your information. It's a lot better than the cardboard box I used to live in." He scratched his head, "Or was that a tissue box."

"Whatever." the critic sighed in exasperation. "Just go find someone who actually cares."

And with that said, he slammed the door on the hapless bum's face. With an assuring nod, he walked back to his desk. As he walked into the kitchen, he let out a high pitched shriek of surprise; the same bum he slammed the door on was now standing in his kitchen, eager to tell him about, "the greatest fanfiction he's ever read in his life."

"There's this guy who is a nerd, and he likes to dress up as a super hero," the bum continued. "That's kinda weird. Do all nerds dress up as super heroes? I thought they only dress up as people from Star Trek."

He then said in a low voice, "Most illogical."

The Nostalgia Critic rolled his eyes at the bum's pointless babbling.

"Listen, that's interesting and all but...." the critic started to say.

"And his super power is to curse and scream at bad video games using ridiculous phrases," the bum interrupted. "And he also has a utility belt full of booze. I wish I had a utility belt full of booze. It's hard to come up with a review sober while on the go!"

The critic's eyes started to widen, as he recognized the characteristic's of this nerd the bum was mentioning. He had a strong hunch as to who the super hero nerd was. He decided to let the bum ramble on.

"Hm, interesting fanfiction you speak of, he who reeks of cannabis," the critic said intrigued. "Please continue."

The bum was thrilled that he could continue his story. He lifted his arms into the air exuberantly.

"Hooray!" the bum cheered. He resumed the story, "So, he goes to a video game store and gets four free games from this manager guy."

He then leaned towards the Critic, "And he's like…."

He then moved back and imitated the manager, while resting his chin on his hand.

"Oh me, oh my, I have horrible games," the bum said as the manager. "What will I do?"

He then leaned towards the Critic again, who at that point was starting to get a little irritated from him invading his personal space like that.

"And the Nerd is like…"

He then backed away again and imitated the Nerd.

"Don't sweat it, man," the Bum said as the Nerd, assuring the manager. "I'll take those games for you. Besides, I was getting bored with making B-movies, anyway."

"Really? Thanks," the bum said as the manager now. He then pretended to pick up a shotgun, and he cocked it. "Now piss off!"

"But wait! Can't I trade in a game?" he asked as the Nerd.

"Which game?"

"Uh…Bomberman Zero?" he said sheepishly as the Nerd.

He then imitated the manager firing a shotgun. He finally stopped his acting and resumed the story as himself.

"Geeze, that manager is mean," the bum pointed out. "In fact, he so mean that he sounds like that boss toad from Rocko's Modern Life. But wait a minute, you can't hear words. I must've been on something. Must've been LSD. Never read fanfictions while on LSD! It'll have you hearing words – and sometimes you'll hear Gollum from Lord of the Rings."

"Yes, yes, continue!" the critic interjected; he was losing his patients from the bum going off on a tangent.

"Okay, okay," the bum replied defensively. He leaned in towards the readers and whispered, "This guy's never been laid, has he?"

"I HEARD THAT!!" the critic blared out.

"Ooh!" the bum exclaimed nervously. "I mean...so the first game he reviews is based on a super hero ninja; and the graphics in that game supposedly look like one of my crack fantasies. So the nerd plays the game using the Wii remote. That's so cool how you can play video games with a remote now! He's like..."

The bum moved his hands around, imitating various motions used with the Wii remote. He also made incoherent babbles to go along with it. After a few seconds of doing the strange motions, he spoke up again.

"He also threw the remote out the window, which hit a guy on the head!" the bum added. "It was awesome! I got hit in the head with a remote once. It was by my mom, who afterwards said, 'don't come back home until you find a real job.' And I replied to her with a smile, saying, 'No, mom. I have a job. A job to ask people for change is the greatest duty given to man.' ....and she flipped me the bird and shut the door on me. I don't think she took it too well."

"Anyway, the super hero ninja comes to the house and is all depressed because her game blows chunks." the bum said.

"The Ninja's like…" he said as he leaned into the critic again.

He then backed away and buried his hands his face, letting out a huge groan.

"And the Nerd is like…"

He imitated the Nerd while pointing rapidly, "This game blows monkeys!"

"And just when things were about to get boring, Spider-Man shows up!" the bum cried. "I'm not kidding! Spider-Man is in this story! And he does the best thing a spider does......gets hammered."

There was a brief pause, as the bum was perplexed by that moment.

"Yeah....that's pretty much it," the bum concluded with a confused tone in his voice. "It made no sense! I thought he was going to swing from his webs while singing, "Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na, Spider-Man! Spider-man! At least I think that's what he sings. I could be mistaking it with something else. So they continue playing the game…"

"And the Ninja's like…" he said as he leaned into the critic again.

He then backed away and buried his hands his face, letting out a huge groan.

"And the Nerd is like…"

He imitated the Nerd while pointing rapidly, "This game still blows monkeys!"

"It was so boring!" the Bum said, slighty exasperated. "Now I know why Nerds are so dull; all they do is complain about everything."

He pointed to himself, "I never complain about anything. Well, except for being a bum. I..I have a whole list of complaints."

"And then the Nerd finally finishes his review," the bum continued. "And the ninja takes a huge sword and cuts the game into pieces. Hooray! Then the nerd's theme song starts playing!"

He started swaying back and forth while singing terribly off-key, "He's the angriest gamer you ever heard. Um....he likes to play with dog turds. I dunno why; he talks about them in every review. And so it's been a few months since he's reviewed another one of those super hero games, which pisses me off, because I've sacrifice sleep time just to wait for the next review. How I am able to function after being deprived of THAT much sleep is beyond me."

He then placed his hand on his head and moaned. He appeared a bit dazed.

"Ooh, Gollum is telling me about something precious," the bum said in a monotonous voice.

The critic walked up to him and smacked him across the back of the head to snap him back into reality. The bum rubbed his head from the pain he felt, but at the same time was grateful to be out of that mesmerizing state.

"Ow," the bum yelped in pain. He nodded to the critic, "Thanks, buddy. Anyway, this is Chester A. Bum saying...."

He pulled out a white foamed cup and shoved it right into the Nostalgia Critic's personal space. The critic backed up apprehensively as Chester shook the cup. The ringing sound of loose change dancing around the cup could be heard.

"CHANGE!? YA GOT CHANGE!?" Chester cried out. "Oh, come on! Help a guy out, will ya? Come on! Change! Can you at least tell Gollum to get out of my head? I need my head for...something."

The critic put his hands out as he tried to stop the bum's shouting.

"Okay, okay, okay," the critic cried. "I get it! Just give me some space, man."

The bum slowly backed away from the critic in response. The angry reviewer placed his chin on his index finger, and started mulling over all that the bum told him.

"So, the Nerd is up to his old tricks again, huh?" the critic said; he was thinking out loud, "And he's reviewing a game based on a real superhero." He turned back to the bum, "Who was the ninja superhero with the Nerd?"

The bum scratched his head, "I don't know. Um...ninjuta....nirgetta.....nogooda?"

Suddenly, the bum's eyes became fixed on the critic, who had opened the left side of his jacket. The bum noticed the pocket inside of it, which had a twenty dollar bill sticking out. Seems the critic was willing to bribe his way towards his answer. For the first time in years, the bum felt the wheels inside of his head start to rotate. He'd do anything for money.

"Ooh!" the bum shouted out in excitement. "Ninjetta! I swear to god that is the name!"

The critic gasped in shock.

"Ninjetta!?" the critic exclaimed. "The leader of the Odd Heroes!?"

The bum glared at the critic with a dumfounded expression, "Odd Heroes?"

A look of distraught started to manifest itself on the critic's face.

"No," the critic said in worry. "This can't be happening. Knowing the Nerd, these Odd Hero games must suck, and if they suck, he must be reviewing them to salvage the Odd Heroes' career; and if he does that, then he'll be a....hero."

In his mind's eye, he could see a huge parade taking place in a giant city. All around the area, the sounds of a crowd roaring with cheers and applauses could be heard. Multiple colors of confetti were thrown over the place, and a band could be heard playing the Nerd's theme song. The critic then saw what the cause of all this commotion was. Slowly rolling down the road was a parade float. The entire float was completely designed as a classic Nintendo controller.

Sitting on a chair in the middle of the float was the Angry Video Game Nerd. He was waving to the crowd, who were praising him as if he was a big war hero. It was a pretty extreme thought, but this was the critic's rational thinking; he always thought over the top scenarios. Also present on the float was the Odd Trio (XJ9, Danny Phantom and Ninjetta).

As the critic continued the trip through his imagination, he could see himself isolated from the rest of the crowd, utterly disgusted by the nerd's accomplishment. The next image he could picture was himself at his desk; it seemed he was about to start another one of his reviews.

"Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it, so you don't have to."

All the critic could hear in response was the beautiful sounds of crickets chirping. Apparently the nerd's 'heroic' deed had caused all of the critic's fans to become nerd fans. The critic slumped his shoulders as a somber look appeared on his face. He continued to hear crickets chirping, and soon enough, he could hear a male voice singing. He turned to his right and looked down to see Jiminy Cricket singing. God, even the anthropomorphic crickets are singing, the critic groaned.

"When you upon a star," the cricket sang. "Makes no difference who you..."

Before he could finish that sentence, a fly swatter managed to squash the cricket flatter than a pancake. The critic lifted up the swatter, which had the cricket stuck on it, and he walked out of the room. The sound of a toilet flushing could be heard moments later. Getting himself back on track with this daydream, this untimely decline in his popularity meant that he lost his only job (which he surprisingly got paid for). He even pictured himself standing outside of his now foreclosed house. With a heavy sigh, he slowly walked into the blackness of night.

The critic's crazy thoughts got even worse when he pictured himself turning to a life of crime. Eventually, though, he got taken into custody by none other than the Odd Trio. However, what really pushed the critic over the edge was the next horrifying thought he conjured up. He saw himself shoved right into a jail cell. He was wearing an orange jumpsuit, and for some reason he was still wearing his trademark cap. The critic sat down on his new bed, sighing about the depressing life he would live. But he soon realized that he would not have to review horrible nostalgic movies anymore. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.....

.....until he looked to his left. There, sitting right next to him was the one thing that made him shriek in absolute terror. It was something he hoped he would never have to be stuck with. It was something that would forever make his life a living hell.

"Oh, my god, this is the greatest cell I've even seen in my life!" Chester A. Bum shouted out to his new cellmate.

Finally snapping his mind back into reality, the critic's heart rate rose in anger. He could not believe that the nerd would go this far to become the most popular reviewer ever. No longer able to control the rage bottled up from within, the critic looked up at the sky and shouted one simple word at the top of his lungs.

"NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The bum, who was looking through the critic's cabinets to find something to steal, jumped in surprise upon hearing the critic's mighty yell. The bum watched in confusion as the critic started ranting and raving.

"Why that pig humping piece of shit!" the critic said, enraged. "Thinks he can become more popular by winning the Odd Heroes' hearts over?! Well, he's got another thing coming to him! I'll put an end to his little party!"

The bum scratched his head, still confused by what was going on. Furthermore, he was one of the few people that didn't know about the Odd Heroes, so he was left in the dark about that, too.

"Uh, who are the Odd Heroes?" the bum inquired.

The bum then heard the sound of a somewhat light slamming sound coming from the left. Startled, he turned in that direction, and jumped back in surprise at who he saw. Standing before him was a man who also bared a striking resemblance to the Nostalgia Critic (most notable was that he wore the exact same glasses). The only difference was that this man had a very sophisticated structure. His hair was neatly combed, and he wore a blue bathrobe. Settled in his mouth was a brown pipe, and resting on his right arm was a giant red book. The man looked at the bum with a pleasant yet creepy smile.

"Oh! Rammu. Didn't hear you come in." the man said in a polite tone.

"Didn't hear me come in?" the bum questioned the man's words. "Didn't you just walk in?"

"No," the man replied. "You see, everything is my property. So no matter where you go you walk in unannounced and without permission to enter. In fact, I should call the authorities on you right now for invading my property. But since I hear you have a stupid question, I'll let you ask it. So, greetings and welcome to Ask that Guy with the Glasses."

The bum rubbed his head, even more confused by the strange appearance of Ask that Guy. However, he had met Ask that Guy before, and he was a pretty uncanny character, so it was expected. But still, this guy could hopefully answer his question.

"Ooh!" the bum chimed up in excitement. "I have a question for you, Mr. Ask-amah-Guy. Who are the Odd Heroes?"

Ask that Guy nodded, "That's a very good question. To simply put it, they are heroes who are odd."

The bum smacked his forehead in realization, "Oh! Duh! Why didn't I realize that? It makes perfect sense! I think I need to move out of my hole. I don't get very good reception for my television down there. Especially since it's made up of cheese wiz, macaroni, five thousand copies of the E.T. video game, and the poster from High School Musical. All I ever see on my TV are those politically correct kids smiling at me."

"You poor, stupid sack of shit." Ask that Guy said with a huge grin; it was hard to tell if he was showing sympathy because of his smile.

Ignoring the blatant insult, the bum asked Ask that Guy another question.

"Oh! I have another question," the bum said. "Why is the Nostalgia-mah-Critic mad at the Angry Video Game-mah-Nerd?"

"Because he's a douche." Ask that Guy simply answered. "Yes."

Unbeknownst to Ask that Guy, the critic had watched the entire exchange take place, and he wasn't going to let that jerk bother him anymore. The bum noticed a black, long object appear right next to Ask that Guy's back. He looked over to see what it was, and a look of shock appeared on his face. This whole time, though, Ask that Guy was completely oblivious. The bum slowly crept away from the scene. Before Ask that Guy could ask why the bum was acting strange, he heard a loud bang and felt a powerful metal projectile penetrate his skin, and it struck his heart.

Ask that Guy gasped for air as his heart started to stop beating. Surprisingly, he acted as if the whole thing wasn't a big deal.

"Oh my," Ask that Guy said, as he gasped for air. "It appears I've been shot, and I think I am dying." he soon started to feel the effects of death, "Ah, yes, it is starting to get cold and," he looked down at his pants, "yes, I have voided my bowls. That's just terrible. Well, this...is...that...Guy...w..with the .glasses saying, 'there's...no...such.....'"

Too weak to even form another word in his mouth, Ask that Guy collapsed onto the floor, and died moments later. The one who pulled the trigger was the Nostalgia Critic, who shot Ask that Guy with his trademark pistol. He put his gun away and looked up with a relieved look.

"Man, you don't know how long I've wanted to do that!" the critic said with contentment. He looked to see a fearful bum slowly backing away. "Don't worry; you're too stupid to kill."

The bum gave a big sigh of relief, "Oh, okay." He then let what the critic said sink in. "Hey, wait a minute--"

The critic, ignoring the bum, paced up and down the kitchen hallway, contemplating a plan to sabotage the Nerd.

"How do I shut that rhino humper's superhero business down?" the critic thought.

Suddenly, he felt a switch click on his brain; an idea had hit him! A sinister smirk appeared on the critic's face. He was too pleased with what he just came up with. In fact, he felt like patting himself on the back for it.

"Heeheeheeheeh," the critic chuckled evilly. "So, Nerd, you want to play superhero, huh? Well, for every superhero, there is also….a super villain."

With a new sense of confidence, the critic started to laugh manically. The bum, meanwhile, looked on in confusion. While still laughing, the critic ran out of his kitchen, and ran up the stairs, laughing all the way. The bum, while confused, shrugged off the critic's antics.

The bum felt his stomach rumble like a volcano, just ready to blow with rage. He clutched his stomach.

"Ooh, I knew all that air in that Camp-mah-bell's soup wouldn't hold me over till lunch time," the bum moaned. He then looked up to see the critic's kitchen. He smiled, "I'm sure Mr. Mah-Critic won't mind if I raid his kitchen."

Starved to death, the bum ran into the kitchen, opening cabinets and knocking over food and condiments to find something to eat.

The bum was now in the critic's living room, with his muddy feet resting comfortably on the coffee table. The warm, slimy mud literally slid onto the clean coffee table. Resting next to his feet was a red cereal box that was labeled, "Cheerios 2." The bum was eating the cereal in a small bowl, with cool, fresh milk poured on top of it. His tongue danced with glee as it felt that whole grain goodness enter.

Simultaneously, he was watching television. Furthermore, it was a movie that the critic had reviewed before: the Street Fighter Movie. The bum happily munched away on his cereal. Suddenly, he heard the sound of footsteps slowly approaching the room. It got closer and closer, until it stopped almost a few feet from him. The bum paused the movie, and turned to see the Nostalgia Critic – he looked different. While he was wearing his trademark hat, glasses, and jacket, there were a few new editions to his dark attire. He now donned two black shoulder pads, a pair of black gloves, a large purple towel fastened to the back of his neck, and on the front of his shirt, a blue "N", which looked like it was sewed on in thirty minutes (it looked crooked and almost undone). Also, under his glasses he wore an eye mask, much like the Nerd.

He placed his hands on hips, taking in the pride of his accomplishment.

"Behold!" the critic cried. "You now stand before the greatest terror of your childhood memories. The one who remembers it so you don't have to; but, when this day is done, the whole world will remember ME forever and ever. I am…."

He raised his arms into the air melodramatically, "THE NEFAROUS NOSTALGIA!! HAHAHAHAH!!!"

The bum (who was not at all intimidated by the critic's appearance) looked over the critic's costume. As his eyes went pass the waist area, he noticed a certain part of his "attire" was missing.

"Oh, my god!" the bum cried, pointing at the critic's groin area. "You're really small down there!"

The critic confusingly looked down, and screamed liked a woman upon what he saw. He forgot to put on his pants! He instantly reacted to this by covering his private area, and then he scurried out of the room. The bum just started laughing at the sight he saw.

"Wow!" the bum laughed. "I was right! No wonder this guy has never been laid."

No sooner did the critic leave did he return, now wearing his blue jeans. He stood tall once again, as he prepared to continue his speech.

"Let's try this again," the critic said. He cleared his throat, "I am the Nefarious Nostalgia! And today is the day I will finally defeat my archenemy; the Angry Video Game Nerd. By the end of our battle, he will kneel before me, dubbing me the superior reviewer; and then I shall get all the glory. No longer will people on the internet watch him! Instead, they will all come to me. But I'm not stopping there. Oh no! First the internet, then…THE WORLD!"

Shrugging the critic's over the top monologue, the bum resumed playing his movie. The image on the screen showed M. Bison from Street Fighter dramatically turning towards the camera.

"Of course!" M. Bison shouted out.

The critic walked over to the bum, grabbed the remote, and shut the television off. Chester looked at the critic in anger.

"Hey!" the bum spat out. "I was watching that! For a moment I thought this movie was one of my acid fantasies!"

"I'm afraid I have some bad news for you, bum," the critic said with a smirk. "I'm leaving, and I want you to take the trash out for me as I leave."

"Uh, where's the trash?" the bum asked, scratching his head.

"In your shoes!" the critic retorted.

The bum titled his head in confusion, not getting the critic's joke. The critic became frustrated by the bum's sheer stupidity.

"I mean you, you ass load of shit!" the critic blared out. "I want YOU out of my house, especially since I'll have to go across a few states to get to my destination"

An excited twinkle appeared in the bum's eyes, "You mean, like a road trip?"

"I guess so." the critic said with a shrug.

The bum cheered in excitement, "Hooray! A road trip! Please, take me with you! I love road-amah-trips! I never got to experience a real one before; I only experience them through LSD."

He leaped onto the floor and hugged the critic's legs.

"Please!" he begged. "I'm only a little bit housebroken! And I'd be a really good sidekick! I could throw up on people. And I could wiz on them, too, but I'd have to charge you for that."

The critic moaned in exasperation; the bum would be a real nuisance. Then again, with the bum on his side, they would have the edge in a battle against the Nerd. Plus, the bum would do anything for change, so he could do all of the critic's dirty work. Oh yes. Perhaps the bum wasn't such a burden after all.

With a sinister smirk, the critic leaned over to the bum.

"Okay," the critic said simply. "You can tag along."

The bum stood up and cheered, "Hooray!"

"But, you better promise to do as I tell you." The critic said sternly.

The bum saluted him, "You got it, Mr.-mah-Critic. I'll be your faithful companion….Bumman! Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na, Bumman!"

The critic buried his face in his hands, "Oh, god. What have I gotten myself into?"

The bum pumped his fist into the air, "Then let's goes! To the critic-mobile!"

There was a long pause for a moment. The only sound that could be heard was the silent hallway of the room. The critic lowered his brow at the bum.

"What? Were you actually expecting a cheesy transition or something?" the critic asked.

And without speaking another word, the critic walked to the front door in utter annoyance. The bum shrugged his shoulders.

"Oh well," the bum said. "I'll just do the transition sounds myself."

He then imitated the transition music from the Adam West Batman show. He also ran to the door with both arms out, pretending to fly like Superman. Moments later, he arrived at the front door. Before he stepped out, he carefully looked around the room, and out the door, to see if anyone was watching him. He then tiptoed over to a bookshelf. Right above it was an expensive looking vase. The bum was about to put his filthy hands on the vase when…

"DON'T….EVEN….THINK ABOUT IT!!" the critic yelled from outside.

The bum jumped back in surprise. How did he know he was going to grab it? With his head hung low, the bum slowly dragged himself out the door.

Rage. A powerful rage that burned from within; however, at that moment, it was being suppressed. The rage belonged to none other than the critic, who, upon looking at his car, noticed something different about it. All four of his tires were not on the wheels of his car; instead, the four wheels were being supported by four cement blocks. The critic's teeth grinded together in anger, so much so that he thought he was going to crush them any second. He instantly knew who the culprit was.

The critic angrily spun around to face the bum, only to see him trying to creep away from the scene.

"BUUUUUUUUUMMMMM!!!!!" the critic blared out; he was furious.

The bum flinched. He sheepishly turned towards the critic with a huge grin.

"You know, you must have a thing for shouting people's names out like that." the bum said with a nervous grin.

The critic crossed his arms; he was doing his best to keep himself from delivering a severe beating to the hobo.

"You have five seconds to explain yourself," the critic said. "I know for a fact that the tires didn't walk up and leave."

The bum did his best not to confess to the critic, but he could not hold back this guilty feeling that weighted heavily on his heart. He then broke down in a panic.

"Okay, okay!" the bum cried. "I admit! I came by your house last night to get change from you, but you were asleep. So I waited for you to wake up! But then I go so hungry! I ate the tires!"

The critic looked at the bum in disbelief, "You ate them!?"

"I couldn't help it!" the bum replied. "But hey, I was also doing it to help you save money. With the way our economy is in, you can save some gas."

"But I need a fucking car to drive in!" the critic pointed out in rage.

"Oh," the bum realized stupidly. "That's a totally legitimate point." He then made a worried look, "You're not going to kill me, are you?"

The critic sighed and rested his chin on his hand, "No. Believe it or not I need you right now." He angrily glared at the bum, "We'll worry about the car later. But how the hell are we going to get to the Nerd's dump now? I don't know if I have enough cash to get us across the state."

The bum gasped in excitement; he had an idea!

"Ooh!" the bum said. "I know how we can get there! I have just the thing!"

An intrigued look appeared on the Critic's face. The bum had an idea? He was actually using his brain for once?

The bum fumbled around in his pocket until he pulled out what appeared to be a cardboard cutout, shaped strangely enough like a credit card. The critic frowned; maybe he spoke too soon.

"And what, may I ask, is that?" the critic asked, starting grow annoyed yet again.

The bum put the card right up to the critic's face. What the critic saw on the card made his jaw drop in shock. On the front of the card was a picture of a poorly drawn bat.

"It's my bat credit card," the bum said proudly. "Never leave home without it."

The bum looked at the critic's face. What he saw made his heart jump into his throat with fear. The critic lower lip was as hard as a rock, and he was taking huge, deep breaths. The critic's face became as red as a tomato. The bat credit card was the one thing in the universe he despised more than the Nerd. Ever since he saw Batman use it in his movie "Batman & Robin," the critic had forever been stung by the fact that a superhero he idolized would do something so…so….degenerating.

"A…bat…credit card?" the critic said, his voice rising. "You….want to use…a bat credit card?"

The bum confusingly looked at the card, and then looked back at the critic, who was slowly approaching him, with a seething look of rage in his eyes.

"Was it something I said?" the bum said, perplexed. "Maybe you don't like the bat design. Would like to see the one I drew of a robin?"

The critic could not take it anymore.

"AHHHHHH!!!" the critic screamed; and then he tackled the bum to the ground.

The only sounds that could be heard were the sounds of punches, kicks, and a screaming hobo.

"OW! HEY! WHAT DID I DO!?" the bum yelped in pain. "I know I'm not the best artist! Yow! Do I get change for this? Ow!"

Will the Nefarious Nostalgia succeed in defeating his arch-enemy, Captain Crappy Games? Will Chester A. Bum ever get his change? Does anyone realize there's a dead man wearing a robe in the critic's house? And will the evil Nefarious Nostalgia ever get over the bat credit card ordeal?

"A BAT CREDIT CARD!!!"

Find out next time; same crappy time, same crappy website.

A/N: Stared and I want to thank Doug Walker for allowing us to use the Nostalgia Critic, Chester A. Bum, and AskthatGuy characters. It's a great honor indeed. BTW, there's something I need to discuss with you guys about where exactly this story takes place in the continuity of the Nerd and Critic, but I'll do that next time. Oh, and when I said crappy website, I didn't mean this website is crappy. Just did it like the Old Adam West Batman show cliffhanger. XD Anyway, hope you enjoyed it.