Disclaimer: Does not own Pokemon. Does not own any of the songs/movies referenced. And sadly does not own Outer Space. -pouts-

Yay...a weird, random, stupid story of doom! Been a while since I wrote one of those! Well, actually, I've been writing a few other little thingys every once and a while as I got bored...but this one actually got finished! -cheers- I was thinking about the astronomy class I enrolled in this year when this popped up outta nowhere and there ya go. Yeah, really dumb. Anyway, I shall now present to you this weird ficclet of weirdness. Have fun, and don't forget to tip your insanity bill (AKA: review). So with that in mind...yeah.

...

It was a beautiful day, in some random place in the Pokemon world. The sun shined happily on the dirt and grass that made up the life-inhabiting planet. Flowers sprouted up from out of the grass and fresh berries sparkled within the trees. A couple zigzagoon romped in a jolly meadow as a cheery taillow sang from on the branch of an old oak. It was a wonderful, amazing, beautiful sunny day. You could even hear three lovely screams piercing through the wind...

Wait, screams?

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

A young boy lifted his head in pride and determination. His eyes were set on his targets and there would be no way they'd escape him now. With an overly-confident smile, he pointed off to the striking zone and shouted an all-too-familiar command.

"Pikachu, thunderbolt!"

The spirited, yellow mouse did as directed. As soon as the order was given, he released a stream of electricity out of his red cheek pouches and directed it towards the three living beings who happened to be the ones screaming their heads off on this happy, peaceful day. After being zapped for a good seven seconds, the figures flew out of the explosion of smoke and debris and rocketed straight into the air. They sighed in defeat as they yelled their last words across the cerulean sky.

"Team Rocket's blasting off again!" they shouted before disappearing into a little white star. Right after the three were gone for good, a drum-roll started up and happy music was cued as the boy, his pokemon and their friends celebrated a job well done.

"Yes! You did it, Ash!" commented a blue-haired girl with an annoying high-pitched voice.

"Those three won't be bothering us for a while." added an eyeless, spiky-haired teenager standing next to Ash.

Ash smiled largely. He had been watching closely as the trio of rouges vanished into the white star. "Yeah, and this time, they had to have been going at least 300 mph!" He looked his eyeless buddy. "Hey Brock, what'd ya get on your speedometer?"

Brock glanced down at the gadget in his hand and sweatdropped. "Uhhhhh...well...that was about...umm..." he fumbled nervously. "It's...uh...yup, only 234 mph." He tried to put the speedometer away, but Ash slanted his eyes. He could tell Brock was lying. With a speed of his own, he grabbed the device from his friend to have a look for himself.

Ash quickly scanned the bright screen. "Ha!" he exclaimed. "358 mph! I just knew I had to be right! I won the bet, fair and square." He smirked at Brock mischievously and held out his hand, his fingers wiggling. "Now where's that moolah? Pay up!"

Brock cursed under his breath too quiet for anybody to hear as he pulled out a five dollar bill and slabbed it into the eager boy's palm.

"Gee, thanks Brock! You're really too kind!" Ash stroked the money. "Hurray! I won the bet, Pikachu! You know what that means?" He held up the money in one hand and a pokeball containing one of his new D/P pokemon (let's say it was Turtwig...he does have a turtwig, right?) in the other.

"Pika? (the next gym battle?)" the electric mouse guessed.

Ash, not knowing how to speak fluent Pokenese, assumed Pikachu had guessed exactly what he was thinking. "That's right!" he laughed. His left eye twinkled. "To the candy store!" Without another thought to spare, he was off, Pikachu behind him in a flurry of yellow.

Brock and the blue-haired girl--Dawn--sweatdropped.

"Well, guess we better follow him to make sure he doesn't go destroy a fire hydrant or something." Brock sighed, trying to keep himself from remembering the terrible memories of the past.

"Yeah...let's go." agreed Dawn, and the two of them followed suit.

Meanwhile, while Ash ran downtown to buy himself an almond-filled Hershey's chocolate bar with Brock's money, the three people from before were still in the air from the time the pikachu blasted them off. Well, actually, two were people. The other one was more like a cat-like thing. Anyway, the three of them were shooting through the air, waiting for the fall that awaited them below.

"Oh noes! I don't wanna die! Noooooooo! I'm too young, I don't wanna go now, I--YIPES! The Grim Reaper is a-comin' for me! I saw him, I really did, he had the stick thingy and everything! Help! Help! Oh my word, HELP!" whined one hysterical voice that was soon interrupted by another.

"Shut your freaking pie-hole, James. You've been going on and on with this stupid Grim Reaper crap for the last eleven minutes. We're sick of it." grumbled his female partner.

"Mmmm, pie." said the third voice, belonging to a talking meowth. He patted his empty gut. "Now dat's something I tink I could go fer right dis instant."

The pink-haired woman, Jessie growled in disapproval. "We've just wasted another day tracking those idiot twerps and all you two bumbling fools can think about is death and food?!" she asked with an angry tone to her voice.

"Hey," said the cat pokemon, just as angrily. "You were da one who broughts it up in da foist place." He absentmindedly twitched a whisker. "Besides, we haven't eaten a ting since dat moldy hamboiger we found in da trash can two days ago, and I'm gettin' a wee bit hungry."

Jessie's stomach grumbled after this statement. "Stoppit, Meowth."

Meowth smiled ear-to-ear. "You can't hide it from Meowth!" he chuckled. "I can tell yous is hungry, Jess, I can see it in yer eyes! Dere ain't no coverin' up da truth from dis cat here, he knows!" He smirked at Jessie as he stomach grumbled for the second time. Jessie snorted.

"OK, OK, I'm hungry!" she admitted with a snarl. "Is that a crime?"

"Well, we are criminals." Meowth replied, pondering. "So even if it was a crime, dat pro'lly wouldn't phase us all too much, would it?"

Jessie exhaled slowly. "Bad one, Meowth."

"Sorry."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! Help Jessie, I'm dying! The creepy skeleton guy has got me by the arm and he's dragging me, dragging me into the great unknown! I don't want to go with him! I can't die yet! HELP ME JESSIE, HELP ME MEOWTH, HELP ME--" screamed James, clutching at his arm as he had his mad hallucinations.

"Would you just SHUT UP?!" Jessie yelled, fed up with his wild rampaging. She pulled a familiar hammer-like object from out of nowhere and gave it a whack upon his blueish-purplish-lavenderish head. It seemed to calm him down a little bit and he hung limply in the air, whimpering.

"But Jessie," he moaned. "We've been blasting off for a long time now. When are we gonna land?" He started panicking, holding his face in fear. "What if we never get out of the air? We'll...we'll starve! And then we'll die...and...and...well, I don't wanna die!" He started howling again when Jessie grabbed onto his mouth to try to control him and he flailed around helplessly in response.

"Calm down, you moron!" she ordered. Jessie's soothing words of insults relaxed him for a second more and he stopped thrashing and breathed rapidly into Jessie's hand.

"Ya know, Jim could be right about dis." Meowth pointed out after the muffled, struggling cries had subsided. He looked down at the clouds as they passed beneath his feet. "We have been flyin' for quites a while now. I mean, I can't even remember da last time we was stuck in da air for dis long. We should'a landed a long time ago."

Jessie rolled her eyes. "Like that matters." she muttered. "We'll land...it always happens. I mean, it wouldn't be natural if we didn't. It would be like...like...like suddenly seeing the Boss with a weird, scary 70's hair-do or something."

James tore away from Jessie's grasp. "Oooooooooh, but he did! He did! Just look!" he squealed eagerly, taking an old photo from his back pocket. He held them out in front of Jessie and Meowth's faces. At first there was no response as they scanned the picture before them, but five seconds later they screamed in utmost horror.

"A MULLET?!" Meowth yelled in astonishment, covering his face. "He had a MULLET? The Boss? With a mullet?! Oh, my poor eyes!"

Jessie gave James a quizzical look. "Aren't you supposed to be whining, whimpering, and crying your tattered soul out until you pass out due to fatigue?"

James beamed. "I got over it!"

"Figures." Jessie snatched the photo of Giovanni's senior prom out of his hand and gave it a second look. "Where'd you manage to get a hold of this, anyway? I mean, isn't his stuff all confidential and crap?"

"Oh...well, I don't know." James admitted with a shrug. "It was Botch's. He said if I won the bet on who could hold their breath the longest underwater then I could have it." He took the prize back from Jessie and looked at it proudly.

Meowth lit up. "Ah, so dat's why we found ya all wet and unconscious outside da HQ swimmin' pool. Man, dat was a day woith rememberin'." He nodded a couple times. "It was da funniest ting dis cat's ever seen. Jessie taught you was dead and was makin' a real scene outta it and talkin' about how much she wanted ya ta come back ta life and everyting. And den she gave ya mouth-to-mouth and was blushin' from head ta toe...nyah, it was poire classic!" He burst out laughing.

Jessie looked like she was about to blow. "SHUT-UP YOU MANGY FURBALL!" she screamed, grabbing Meowth and shaking him to death, making him look much like a bobble-head toy. James turned a bit red from embarrassment, but his attention was quickly drifted towards something else.

"Hey...is it just me, or has it suddenly gotten a lot darker?"

Jessie stopped shaking Meowth, enabling the cat to scan back and forth. "Hm, well whadd'ya know? Maybe night's come eoily or sometin'."

"Yeah...or maybe...maybe..." James paled, coming to a realisation. "Maybe we're really dying this time!" He began to sweat. "OH SWEET MOTHER OF MOLASSES, HELP US!" he yelled out.

Meowth also began to think of the possibility of death and joined in. "AH NO! I DON'T WANNA DIE! YA GOTS DA WRONG GUY!" He and James squirmed around in the empty air that was beginning to turn darker and darker as they flew. A paper fan came out of nowhere and hit them both.

"SILENCE!" Jessie yelled, loud enough to make them flinch. She put her fan away once she knew she had their full attention. "Now," she continued. "James and Meowth, you two are big boys now. Big boys don't cry; they ponder over their situation and work to find a successful resolve. So either you put yourselves together, or I'll physically force it into you, understand?" She gave a lot of emphasis on the last word.

"But Jessie," whined James. "We're never successful in anything!"

"Yeah," Meowth added. "And I tought da correct term was Big GOILS Don't Cry." He scratched his head. "Or was dat some fancy song or sometin'?"

Jessie sweatdropped. "Why do I even bother with you two?"

The three of them continued floating in midair and the air just kept getting darker. Darker, darker, darker. The blackness ensconced the air. It was getting hard to see much of anything, expect for Meowth, 'cos he had night vision. Point is, everything was getting pretty dark, which was quite unusual and kind of nerve-wracking. Not even Jessie knew what was going on.

"OK, I admit, this is starting to get weird." she said with a small pinch of worry in her voice that her partners were unable to detect. "I know we've gotten shot hard enough to get thrown up pretty high every once in a good while, but that's only during the really short blast-offs. Besides, we always fall down once we hit somewhere around the ionosphere. Things are getting a little strange."

James gasped and grabbed onto an object close to him. "Are we going to get sucked into the point of no return and die?" he asked, his wide green eyes piercing through the darkness.

Another larger pair of eyes looked to him in annoyance. "James, stop squeezin' me." the organism with large cat-like eyes warned, lifting a fully clawed hand.

"Oh, sorry." James let go. "But are we gonna die, or what?"

"I don't know." Jessie replied, growling a little. "If I knew, I wouldn't be wondering the same thing myself. I mean, it isn't my fault the pikachu got away in the first place and got us into this mess. So just be patient and I might be able to figure out why this is happening!"

Meowth fumbled with his paws nervously. "Jess...I don't tink we have ta figure anyting out..." he spoke in a quiet tone.

"W-what do you mean? What's going on, Meowth?!" James panicked.

"Yeah, really. We dying?" Jessie laughed sarcastically.

"Well, I dunno if my calculations are correct but...if dey are..." he paused. "I TINK WE MIGHT BE HEADIN' STRAIGHT FER A LAYER OF ICE!" Jessie and James had no question because right after being spoken, the prediction had come true. The trio screamed as they plowed into the freezing cold icey substance in their path.

"WUUUUUHEEEEEEEEGAAAAAAAH!"

And just like that, it was over. The shivering bodies shook and cowered. Did they really die? Was the Grim Reaper really coming with his stick thingy? Was it really the end of Team Rocket? Really? Really really? I repeat, was it really--oh, nevermind.

James decided to brave it and removed his hands from where they were covering his eyes. He blinked a couple times to get used to the light around him. Wait, light? He rubbed his opticals and did a double-take. Then his mouth hung open and he spoke the only words he could find to speak.

"HOLY CRUD!"

"What is it, James?" Jessie grumbled.

"Guys...guys, LOOK! Look where we are!" James yelled, in his voice a mix of excitement, confusion and complete terror.

"...heaven?" guessed Meowth.

"Uhhh...not exactly."

Meowth opened his large sapphire orbs and had a similar reaction to that of James. "What in da name of Chef Boyardee?" he asked, scanning the area around him and taking in all the external information to his brain.

"We're in Outer Space." James explained.

Jessie slapped her forehead. "No duh, Genius."

"Wait a second...if we're in Outer Space, how da heck are we breathin' in oxygen?" Meowth pondered. Jessie and James looked at one another and shrugged.

"We're cartoons. I don't think the laws of science apply much." Jessie figured. Her two comrades decided to drop the subject and continued to let themselves ride upon the air.

Space couldn't have been any more beautiful...in fact, it was outta this world! (my apologies for that) The only things recognisable by Earth dwellers were the satellites that frequently popped up here and there but other than that, the rest was pure nature. The sun boiled brightly from afar and planets such as Mars and Venus were visible in a close enough range that even the textures could be seen. And then of course, the stars were absolutely lovely. Millions of them scattered around the empty black space, creating light. They looked even better up close than when seen down on Home Planet.

"Look at all the pretty stars!" James cooed.

"Oh yeah?" Jessie countered, scooping up her magical mallet of doom. "You'll be seeing stars all right when I'm done with you!"

Meowth made a face and held his head in despair. "Why is it dat we, out of all people, get stuck with da author with da woist jokes in history?" he asked. "I mean, da sheer corniness of it all is killin' me!"

Erm...sorry, I'll look into buying a new joke book. Anyway, the stunning sights of the universe were quite dazzling to the naked eye. None of its beauty could be captured merely by camera. Only the real experience of floating through Space would be able to provide the kind of footage that would stay with you for a lifetime. Any astronaut would have quite enjoyed it any old day.

Unfortunately, the members of TR were not astronauts. (far from it, actually) Plus, without a handy space shuttle or other tools, they were stuck being pulled in whatever way the air decided to take them. They rode the spacial wind for what seemed the longest time. They weren't sure if they were ever going to be able to return back home again. To never eat another McDonalds french fry. To never witness the last episode of Harry Potter. Even the thought of never seeing the twerp or his little yellow rodent left them feeling bitter.

Yup, everything seemed to be at a loss for the trio of villains. If they weren't going to get sucked into a black hole or hit by a hurdling meteor, they would starve. Either other way, they would die...or would they?

Meowth yowled in horror as his face struck a rocky, gray surface. It had been a couple hours or so since they first blasted off, and he and his companions had decided to nap to help time pass quicker before their death. It all had come as a huge surprise to Meowth as he was awakened by the touch of land below him.

"Hoih? What...what happened?" he asked, picking his head out of the ground. Pieces of gray stuff crumpled off his face and he looked around, realising he was still in Space. He got up quickly and took the time to shake himself off like a dog. Then he looked to his left and right. "Jess? James? Where are ya guys?" he wondered aloud.

He ran off in one direction and the the next, and every other place he could cover on the land where he was standing, without any luck of finding his friends. Already exhausted from the long trip, he slumped back down. "Noooooooo!" he wailed. "I'm stuck in Space forever all by myself without my friends or nobody..." He was just about to curl up and cry when he heard a familiar startled squeal as another living being hit the ground. Meowth lifted his spirits and ran to the creature in joy.

"James! Dat you, buddy?" he questioned, poking the blue-haired specimen.

His head came up from the ground weakly. "I...I...I..."

Meowth's heart leaped in fright. "Oh, Arceus!" he shouted, fearing the worst. He ran his eyes over the body to examine the injuries further. "Oh, why, why, WHY?! Don't leave me now, old friend! SPEAK TO ME!" He bent over the body in pity.

"I...I...I..." he continued.

Meowth leaned in closer. "What is it?"

With all his energy, he managed to lift a finger and move his mouth appropriately to the words in which he spoke. "I...I..." he continued. "I...want a donut..." His head slammed back into the ground.

Meowth sweatdropped and slanted his eyes. "Oh yeah, dat's James all right." He forcefully plucked the head back out of the ground. "Now tell me Donut Boy, yous seen Jessie anywhere?"

James blinked stupidly. "You mean she isn't here?"

"Don't look dat way, does it?"

James yawned sleepily. "Well...she'll appear sooner or later..."

"Yeah right, James." remarked Meowth. He looked back up at the black sky above and shook his head in amusement. "It's not like she's just gonna fall outta nowheres and--"

SLAM!

A body fell out of nowhere and landed on James, flattening him like a pancake. He made a sharp yelp before his face once again converged with the ground beneath it, disabling his ability to breathe the non-existent oxygen in the air.

"Oh Jessie, we was wonderin' when you was gonna arrive." said Meowth, a blank look painted across his face.

Jessie shrugged from on top of her suffocating partner. "I always like to make an grand entrance. Besides," She patted James's head. "This trusty pillow broke my fall rather nicely, so it all worked out well in the end."

"I am not a pillow." came the muffled reply from below.

"Oh...well, no wonder it wasn't as soft and pleasant as I expected." Jessie replied soberly, getting up and brushing herself up from her fall. "Where have we landed anyway, Meowth?"

"How am I supposed ta know?" the cat quired. "I just got here as soon as you guys did!"

Jessie took some time to get used to her surroundings. "Well, looks like we're still out here in the middle of nowhere." she grumbled. "Must be on some planet or something."

James brought his head up from the ground and coughed out the gray substance that made up the ground they stood upon. "Well, can't be Mercury or Mars 'cos they're coloured red, Venus is just a bunch of clouds, Jupiter has the stripes and that weird red circle, Saturn and Uranus have the ice rings, Pluto no longer exists, and...well, this definitely isn't Earth." He put his head back down.

Jessie and Meowth watched the sudden outburst of knowledge in shock. "So," Meowth said after this. "Guess dat narrows it down nicely ta Neptune, don't it?"

"Are you crazy?!" Jessie growled in frustration. She picked up Meowth and looked him straight in the eyes. "This can't be Neptune! We'd be freezing our buns off if this was Neptune, you dolt!" She threw Meowth onto the ground, who picked himself up and muttered.

"Den where are we?" he asked, half-irritated as he stroked his bent whisker back into place.

"Well...there is another possibility." came James's wise voice. He was magically back on his feet again and was rubbing his chin in thought.

Jessie fired her gaze at him. "What? What's this little possibility of yours?" She asked impatiently, almost threateningly.

"Um...I don't know." he admitted, stepping back a little and holding his hands up as if to block himself from a future attack. "But I think it might have something to do with that thing over there." He pointed off at the thing. Jessie and Meowth squinted their eyes.

"Looks like some kind of flag." Meowth stated.

"Let's investigate." suggested Jessie, and the three of them marched casually up to what Meowth suspected to be a flag. After a bit of inspection, they learned it was a flag. And not just any flag, at that. The symbol of the flag appeared as the national symbol of Kanto. It was a Kanto flag, and it was placed right in the center of this strange place in the middle of Space. That could only mean one thing...

"We're on...THE MOON?!" Jessie gasped. It was almost too terrible to be true.

James looked confused. "This can't be the moon." he commented. He picked up some of the weird gray land and let it flow through his fingers. "The stuff here tastes nothing like cheese."

"We won't be eatin' any cheese soon if we don't figure a way outta here." Meowth replied, putting his paws to his hips. "I mean, it's not like we can just live up here on da Moon for the rest of our lives. Dere would be nothin' ta eat! We're gonna have to go back down to Eoith sooner or later."

"We never did have anything to eat before." James whined pitifully.

"So what?" Jessie argued. "At least on Earth, there were actually people we could steal from. The Moon is just an uninhabited wasteland. Meowth's right, we have to get out of this place."

"But how do you suppose we'll go back?" James questioned sorrowfully. "We don't have a shuttle, a rocket ship or anything. Unless there's some way we could reverse the blast off, looks like we'll be stuck here forever." A paper fan came his way.

"Ow!"

"Stop thinking so negatively." Jessie ordered. "We're Team Rocket, we always turn up all right in the end. We make it out of every one of our messes, and this one shall be no exception. See," she began fantasising in her head as she spoke. "We'll begin by building a giant space ship that could easily take us back to Earth and act as a pikachu-catcher all at once to save us the time of creating another one. That way, we can return back, grab Pikachu and get him to the Boss all in one hard-earned trip. And you know what that means...promotions, money, and a place of our own! So start building! Remember, gotta be electric-proof--now chop-chop, you two!" She gave both her partners a little push to encourage them to start taking out her plan.

"But Jessie, where we gonna find da equipment ta make an entire space ship?!" Meowth asked.

"Use your imagination!" she yelled, pushing them even harder. "Now hop to it!"

James and Meowth began to mumble to themselves, knowing all too well that there would be no way getting out of their bleak situation. When Jessie wanted something her way, she got it her way--no questions involved. They were just about to look around hopelessly for supplies in which to construct with when all of a sudden, they paused. Their ears perked and they listened, standing motionless.

"What's gotten into you two? We don't have all day, you know!" Jessie reminded them. Then she heard it, too. It was like a whole chorus of smooth, repetitive singing playing over and over again. The voices were merry and carefree as they drifted to the side of the Moon where Team Rocket stood. James appeared frozen in terror.

"I think someone...or something is living here!" he informed worriedly, looking down at Meowth to see if he might be wondering the same thing.

"Yeah, we aren't da only ones hangin' around, apparently." he stated. "I'm pretty sure dey must be some kind of pokemon, by da sound of it."

Jessie snorted. "Be reasonable, Meowth. What kind of pokemon would want to live on the Moon, anyway?"

"Well, dey can't be human, dat's for sure." Meowth said, mostly to himself. "Dere speakin' in pure Pokenese as I know it, and I'm a pro with da language. So if dey aint pokemon, what else could dey possibly be?"

"Aliens!" James screamed suddenly.

Jessie slapped him. "If you don't have something smart to say, don't say it at all." she suggested firmly. She watched him get up, rubbing his sore cheek and whimpering.

"Dey could be alien pokemon." Meowth figured. "I mean, I never heard of such a ting but den again, not too many people have been to da moon unless ya include dose astronauts--and dey're usually too interested in dere research ta even pay attention to da life around dem. I'm tellin' ya, we could've figured out sometin' no one else even knows about. If dere is odda life here, I tink our best bet is ta go check it out. Who knows, we could find somethin' important enough ta get us rich!"

Jessie smiled. "Hm, I like where you're heading with this. I could just see the look on Cassidy's face if we brought the Boss some undiscovered space pokemon!"

"Of course, and ya know what da Boss is gonna say after we bring him some pokemon he's never even seen before?" Meowth asked, then continued, "He'll say, Boy, I sure am glad Meowth and friends took all da time and effort ta go to da Moon and get me dese rare space pokemon, and you know what will happen after daaaaaaat..." Both Meowth's partners in crime joined in, dancing and chanting to the tops of their lungs.

"Well get a big, fat, in-your-face promotion, promotion, promotion, YEAH!" they sang.

"Let's go get those rare pokemon!" Jessie added enthusiastically.

...

OK, so this was supposed to be a one-shot, but due to the length of it, I decided to split it into two chapters. Thus, it became a two-shot. So...LOL, Team Rocket's on the Moon. Isn't this story insane? Eh...well anyway, wanna find out what happens next? Read Part Two, my good friends. :P