A/N: LJ, my favourite HP ship! Please read and review!
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Forty Reasons Why Lily Evans Should Date James Potter--
1. Because then she wouldn't say no when he asked her out like he had earlier today. Well, she didn't exactly say no. What she said involved James Potter's arse and several large pointy objects that he could fit up there. But still. If she had been dating James Potter at the time, then she wouldn't have had to say no. She could have said yes. Or something that involved her making love– er, that is, declaring her undying love for him and agreeing to marry him.
2. Because then he wouldn't have to take subjects like History of Magic and Muggle Studies just to see her. Because if Lily Evans were dating James Potter, then James Potter would get to see Lily Evans all the time and would not be forced to take such boring classes.
Who needed to know what a fellytone was, anyhow?
3. If Lily Evans were dating James Potter, she wouldn't feel compelled to throw a shoe at the Head Boy (aka aforementioned James Potter) when he asked suspiciously who her long letter was from. It turned out, as he read it later (he felt bad about invading her privacy, but what could he do? He had to save her if it was some stalker person or whatever; it was for her own safety, really), it was from her penpal in Bulgaria. Though it seemed to James Potter that they were awfully… pal-ly for just penpals. It seemed to James Potter that the guy in Bulgaria had ulterior motives and not altogether honest intentions when it came to a certain redhead.
4. When confronted about the extremely suspicious letter from aforementioned stalker from Bulgaria, Lily Evans would not chuck a complete spaz about him 'invading her privacy' and other such things and would instead realize that he was doing it ultimately for her well-being. If they were dating, that was.
5. If they were dating, then Wormtail would stop telling him to give up; that it was useless, while Padfoot told him that 'there were many other sexy fish in the sea of dating, so why pursue one that can swim faster than you?' When asked exactly what 'swim faster than you' meant, the mentally challenged berk would not just roll his eyes in a superior fashion before walking off (he tripped and fell on top of Snape in his walk-out though, so at least James got the last laugh).
Anyway, if Lily Evans were dating James Potter, then Sirius Black would not encourage him to 'stop chasing the red fish because she can swim faster than you'. What was he, anyway? A fish with one fin? A boat with a dying motor? What was all that 'faster' stuff about?
6. When on Head Patrol, they could spend it doing something else much more interesting than breaking up all the various snogging couples in the castle's broom closets and empty classrooms and telling them to go back to bed (a not altogether right thing for the Heads to say if it was misinterpreted).
7. For instance, if they were dating, they could have been snogging in aforementioned broom closets and/or empty classrooms.
8. Also, when James Potter would suggest this to Lily Evans, she would happily agree and they would spend the night snogging each other's brains out instead of Lily Evans getting angry and slapping him and kneeing him.
9. If they were dating, he would be able to walk now, instead of the pathetic limp he was producing. Not to mention, he could have foregone the teasing from his so-called friends.
10. Lily's friends would not smirk at him and his limp and giggle while looking at Lily when they passed him in corridors. Instead they would look at him and think how lucky Lily was to be dating him.
11. Maybe Professor Slughorn would stop practically harassing Lily every Potions lesson if he knew that she was dating James Potter. Because James Potter was quite capable and willing to thrash him if he so much as laid a finger on Lily.
12. Same said for all of Lily's ex-boyfriends and any guy who approached her really, if they ever tried to harass her. Really, it would be like having her own bodyguard.
13. When he mentioned this to Lily, he would not get a glare that could scare Snape into washing his hair and the scream of 'You already do it! Why do I need to date you?? You, James-' (he was so pathetically smitten that he even noticed the use of his first name and cherished it) – 'are ruining my life! I haven't dated anyone for two years now, and that's because all the guys are too scared of you!' that would leave him speechless. He would instead get a grateful smile for his chivalry and quite possibly a snog that would leave him speechless in a nice way and not make his stomach churn with something unfamiliar.
What was that feeling? Could it be… gui – no. No way. He was only doing what it took to get Lily Evans to like him. And that involved keeping her available for him.
Though James Potter could not help but wonder… was she right? Was he really being too controlling?
14. He would not get the sensation of having his heart ripped out of his chest with a blunt fork when he decided to give Lily some space and not harass the first guy to approach her. He would not feel aching and empty when he saw Lily laughing and smiling with Derek Mitchell from Ravenclaw. He would not feel like his heart was somehow detached from him, giving a cold, impersonal beat – therefore proving that it had not been ripped out by a blunt fork after all – when he saw them hugging in the corridor.
No, he would not feel any of this because he and Lily Evans would be dating.
15. He would not be constantly pressured by Remus and Sirius to eat because he was picking at his food, trying to hear what Lily was saying to Derek at the other end of the Gryffindor table.
16. He would not get pitying looks from Lily's friends, because he and Lily would be dating. James Potter did not need pity. He did not need pity from anyone.
17. Random teachers would not stop him in corridors and ask if he was all right and wanted to go to the hospital wing, because he was looking a bit pale. Filch would not practically force him to go there, telling him that he was 'going to infect the whole bloody castle' if he didn't see Madam Pomfrey.
18. Madam Pomfrey would not shove spoonfuls of a vile green concoction down his throat because he would not even be in the hospital wing in the first place if he and Lily were dating.
19. Remus would not lecture him on the five phases of grief: denial (as if Lily was dating Derek! It was just a rumour!), anger (how dare that bastard even think about dating Lily? Lily was his! HIS!!), bargaining (maybe he could be bought out – 100 Galleons ought to do it; 100 Galleons to leave Lily), depression (he was going to die without Lily; what was the point in living anyway?) and acceptance (no chance of this happening any time soon).
20. He would not have to endure the sickening sight of Lily and Derek holding hands in the corridor. Didn't they know anything about PDAs, anyway? Did everyone really need to see them being lovey-dovey? Of course, when he asked Lily out in front of the whole school, it was a different matter altogether.
21. He would not have to consciously try and avoid Lily to spare himself the pain, as, if they were dating, he would be only too glad to see her any time and there would, in fact, be no pain.
22. Head Patrol would be an enjoyable way to spend time with Lily and would not be the awkward encounter that it now was. It was quite hard to successfully avoid Lily when they had to patrol the school together every evening, he was finding.
23. If they were dating, then James would be able to fully enjoy the new effort she was making to act friendly towards him. As it was, he was now too aware that she was only doing it because she felt sorry for him. Well, James Potter did not take pity from anyone – no, not even from Lily. Well, unless it was a pity date. Or a pity snog. Or a pity – Merlin, he was pathetic.
24. He could have spent this year's Valentine's Day with Lily instead of spending it avoiding her and Derek and trying to resist the insane urge to serenade her and bug her for dates as he had done every previous year.
25. He could play a great game of Quidditch, knowing that she was there in the stands cheering him on, instead of the sad performance on Saturday which had cost Gryffindor the match.
26. He would not be stunned at the fast-spreading news that Lily had spent her Valentine's Day in the library instead of out with Derek, and that he had been seen in Madam Puddifoots' snogging some other girl.
27. He would not get his hopes up about Lily, while at the same time fearing terribly that it just meant that he would have to watch her going around with a different guy, because he'd be secure of Lily's love.
28. It would be awesome and not tense being paired up with her for the Transfiguration assignment.
29. They would not have to spend an extremely awkward two hours in the library distractedly trying to get their assignment done, because they would have better things to do.
30. Lily would not have the nerve to scold him about the fact that he had ignored her on Valentine's Day, because if they were dating, he would not have ignored her, and so she would have no reason to glare at him as she was doing now, her anger not quite hiding her suspiciously bright eyes and slightly trembling hands.
31. He would not stare at her blankly and ask why what on earth she meant, because if they were dating, they would know each other so well that there would never be any misunderstandings.
32. She would not have ask him desperately, eyes filling with tears, why he was gone, because if they were dating, she would not be able to get rid of him, ever.
33. Because if he was dating Lily and more in tune with her thoughts, it would not have taken him so long to figure out what she was thinking, and there would have been no shocked, awkward silence.
34. Because it will give him the right to lean over to her, a wicked grin on his face, whispering that he'd come back, and come back for good.
35. Because the best way to spend an afternoon is lazing around in the grounds with Lily.
36. Because when dating Lily, everything is fun – even doing homework with Lily, studying with Lily and actually attending class with Lily.
37. Because dating Lily, the real Lily is so much better, not to mention far more real than dreaming of dating a dream Lily.
38. Because James now has one more person to confide in.
39. Because James now has four best friends instead of three.
40. Because it makes him sublimely happy.
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A/N: I tried to stretch it out to fifty to get it to a more round number, but it wasn't working. Please review with any comments, criticisms, whatever!