This is my first fanfic

This is my first fanfic.. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

I couldn't even sleep yesterday cause I was so excited by my idea. So here it goes… I hope you like it praying eyes squeezed shut

Disclaimer: I wish I'm Meg Cabot.

But, :sigh, sadly, I'm not.

Sooo the plot is mine but the characters are mine also, sorry sorry not funny.

The characters you recognize are Meg's.

:forcing it out: choke choke.

Chapter one.

Susannah POV

I have been around for 150 something years. I lost track when I got to 100. I guess being a ghost has its privileges. Walking through walls… the super strength…never getting old…everyday looking like I'm "at the height of my life"… all these "powers".

But it doesn't make me happy.

Nothing makes me happy.

Correction, nothing will EVER make me happy again.

Everyday I wonder aimlessly, trying to avoid seeing people. But occasionally, I would stumble upon them -and feel the suffering of my heart as it's torn apart, piece by piece… ironic, I know, since technically don't have a beating heart.-

when I see them laughing, being able to talk with others… and just LIVE!

"and most importantly… love." A voice whispered at the back of my mind, I gripped my hands tightly in to fists, my heart twisted and suffered in never ending pain when I thought of the word love.

I know I would never be able to love.

Not after Stephen.

"hahahaha.." I looked up as a stunning blond girl walked towards me, all the while gazing into the eyes of a tall male, laughing as they shared some kind of secret joke.

My whole body shook uncontrollably, my fists begging me to let them take over. One punch, that's all it would take for me to finish the guy. I smiled bitterly as I imagined the pain the girl would feel to see her loved one torn from her. To feel her heart shatter everytime she sees a couple walking by.

TEMPTING. I shook my head, taking huge breaths as I tried to calm down.

"NO. Susannah, why would you want to have others suffer the pain you went through? What did they ever DO to YOU?" My mind shouted.

Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.

Yes, they never did anything to me. I don't even KNOW them! I hung my head in shame, I can't believe I actually wanted to take innocent peoples lives! WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?

I drifted aimlessly as I let my tears fall. I haven't cried since… since… that happened. I had promised myself to be strong. And not to feel any emotions.

I cant cry! I can't!

But it was too late now. As if I had opened a floodgate, my tears poured out. I stumbled into an alleyway, and curled up beside the wall. Rocking myself as I hugged my knees. The tears kept coming, and for once I didn't try to stop it. Sniffling loudly, -since no one would be able to hear me anyways- I cried and cried for I don't know how long. When I finally calmed down and exhaustedly looked around. I was surprised to see it was dark already.

I shakily got up –ironic, I know, since I can just float.- and froze when I saw a dark figure leaning against the wall across the dark ally way. He seems to be staring at me. I laughed dryly to myself, ya, like he could see me. And was just about to take off when he stepped out of the ally and into the glare of the street lights.

I gasped, not because he stepped into the lights, and definitely not, because, okay partly, because he was so handsome. His dark curls were slightly messed up, he was wearing a white T-shirt, which showed off his tan perfectly, and wow, look at those muscles.

I wanted to slap myself. A girl from my time is just not supposed tonoticethese kind of things about a guy!

But my thoughts stopped when I looked into his piercing blue eyes. Those eyes stared right back at me.

He stepped towards me and held out his hand,

"Hey, my name is Paul Slater."

Flashing me a smile that made my heart melt…

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Uh-oh, looks like poor suze met her first shifter. Who just happens to be Paul. Well, let's just say she would meet Jesse in the next chapter. Too bad jesse wont be able to se her.

ANYWAYS PLEASE REVIEW.

Comment on whether its good or bad.

Ideas.

Mistakes I made.

Anything!

I really really hope you like the first chapter of my FIRST fan fic!

EEEE! Squeal excitedly

please god I hope they like my story!

begging as a trickle of tear rolled down my cheek

Haha anyways, REVIEW!