Kagome was trying to think like a woman again. She'd learned to walk differently, talk differently, act differently. But slipping back into womanhood was like putting on her favorite dress. It still felt comfortable, natural. It was being a miko that felt weird. She had been a school girl pretending at being a village miko. Now she had to be a miko. She went into town with a pack and a basket full of herbs and began to search.

She would find the enemy and she would worm her way in. It was far easier than she thought to track them down. The Mibu prowled around Kyoto as if they owned it. They drank, ate out and harassed anyone looking at them wrong. When they looked at Kagome, she smiled and nodded shyly.

They hooted after her. Kagome didn't mind. If they remembered her as a beautiful woman, she would not be seen as a threat. The only soldier she did her best to avoid was the wolf demon that had noticed her that last night in Kyoto. She may be dressed as a woman, but if he had caught her scent… well, that had not changed.

~~~…~~~

Kagome smiled and poured the Mibu soldier another cup of sake. He was already drunk, but continued requesting more from the young miko.

She'd presented herself to the inn about a month ago, requesting a place to stay for the winter and a small salary in return for serving the soldiers and providing her expertise to the elderly owner. The kind man knew her as a reliable worker. The soldiers thought her a charming girl, if off limits. Only she knew what her true purpose was.

But she was impatient. Through her work, she had made some progress. Lower level officers stayed in the inn and meetings occurred with high ups on occasion, but up until that point, she had not been told to serve the meals and sake at those meetings.

"Kikyo," the soldier slurred. She had taken her predecessor's name to further her disguise. "Kikyo, why won't you ever come back to my room with me?"

Kagome slipped from his hand and smiled gently. "I am a former miko. We have secrets that should not be shared."

The soldiers were not deterred. Others joined in. "But Kikyo, we'd love to know your secrets," one leered.

She backed away with a bow. "Let me retrieve more sake," she said, smiling gently.

The men didn't voice any opposition to that. Kagome left the room and went to retrieve the promised drinks, stepping out into the cool air for a break as the set the sake near the stove to heat.

She was beginning to lose track of time. When she left Masa and Yukio behind, it was autumn, but autumn had swiftly turned to winter. It was already November.

Kyoto was dangerous with the bakufu running unchecked. Anyone suspected of being Ishin Shishi was slaughtered in the street. Kagome had no doubt that the snow that had started to lightly dust the city would be melted not by the light of day but by the bloodshed at night.

She hated it. Occasionally she would catch a glimpse of someone familiar, but they were trying to be as incognito as she was.

The inn she was at was the perfect meeting place for the officers of the Shinsengumi. Some of them had to know who the spy within the imperialist's ranks was, but none had let it slip yet. She had learned that their spies were not as successful as they wished. She had learned that while the Shogunate held Kyoto, the imperialists were getting restless. Scouts had been captured and killed in droves. Both the Bakufu and the Ishin Shishi were looking for Katsura, but neither had much success.

Kagome's guess was that he was lying low with his lover until the right time. She had no doubt that he knew who and where his supporters were.

When Kagome returned with the sake, another man had joined the gathering. She deduced that he outranked the other men, or at least scared them quite a bit.

"I've heard word that the hitokiri battosai might soon be out of it," she caught one of the lower-ranked men saying.

The new man grunted noncommittally and Kagome poured him some sake, pretending not to notice the way his eyes roamed her form. Her heart pounded.

"There's a rumor that someone has a plot to take care of him before the year is up," another man added. It was clear that they were trying to get the other man to tell them something.

"There are always plots to kill key players. Who knows how many have been formed and discarded."

"So many plots against him, but no one knows where he lives? Or whether he lives? Maybe he died and his body is in a pit. What of the other hitokiri?"

A snort. "Battosai lives, but if things work as they should, he will be dead soon. The other hitokiri is nothing to worry about yet. He's on the move, but without an army to hide behind, he'll soon reveal himself."

The slight suspicion Kagome was feeling bloomed into a near panic. The traitor was so close. There were so few men that he could be. Masa and Yukio undoubtedly knew by now that she had left and could easily guess where she would go. The only one they would tell, barring that Kenshin or Katsura had not gone to visit, was I'izuka. He was also the only man that knew exactly where Kenshin and her friends were.

Kagome hid her fear and smiled at the man who had appreciated her form so much, since he was watching her again. The other men noticed.

"Ah, Kikyo-san has taken a liking to you then, Mitsuharu-sama."

Kagome laughed. "No more than any of you. I was just impressed with his knowledge. Obviously, he is one of the men that are helping to plan the Battosai's downfall. Who couldn't help but to be impressed? He's killed so many you, my friends." She managed to smile again. "What would you like in celebration, Mitsuharu-sama? Plum wine? More sake?"

He captured her wrist and pulled her down to her knees beside him. "You are an aruki miko, are you not? Why don't you help me celebrate?"

Her heart pounded. He was an attractive man, but she was no prostitute. "I am inexperienced in the ways of aruki miko, Mitsuharu-san," she demurred.

"Are you really?" He asked, pulling her slightly closer. "I can do something about that inexperience."

"Mitsuharu-sama, I am no prostitute and have no desire to become one. Let me get you all some plum wine." She pulled away from the man and left swiftly. She hurried to where the inn kept their alcohol and stopped there, shaking as she kneeled beside the rack the wine was on.

She heard footsteps and prayed for them to pass her by. She was not so lucky.

"Kikyo-san, I meant no disrespect. In these times, travelling miko are generally prostitutes. I see now that you are not. Forgive me for my mistake. I did not mean to frighten you." He kneeled beside her.

Kagome looked up at him. He was a handsome man, probably around twenty-five years old. His hair was shiny and slightly wavy in its topknot. If she were to take a lover, he would not be the worst one to have. "As I said, I am inexperienced in those ways. I was just frightened."

Mitsuharu reached out and twisted a lock of her hair around one finger. "I thought it was impossible to find a girl of your age now that was still chaste in these days. You are close to eighteen years, yes?"

"Yes."

"Were it not for the war, you could be married and have children by now. The war has upset the natural order of things. You should be home, protected, instead of traveling and in danger from men like me," he told her with a wry smile. "Who are your people?"

"I have no family anymore. And I like traveling. I enjoy the freedom." It was more open than she had been with someone in a while.

"Was it the war that took them from you?"

"No, the war is not to blame for that. What about you? Have you no wife waiting at home for you to return?"

"No, there is no woman waiting for me at home. I was married, but she died before our married life had lasted very long. Illness took her and my unborn child. When the war began, I joined instead of finding a new wife. Though you would not make a bad one," he told her, allowing her to see his gaze roaming her body again. "You are beautiful, Kikyo-san."

Kagome blushed. "Thank you."

Mitsuharu stood and offered her his hand. She took it and allowed him to help her to her feet. "We should return before they decide that you have taken me up on my offer."

Kagome nodded and got a bottle of plum wine. "You were just helping me retrieve this from a shelf too high for me to reach," she told him with a mischievous smile.

He laughed. "I see."

"Are there really plans to see the battosai dead?" She asked.

"There are. Before the year is up, as I said. On the first of the new year, you will see his fresh head displayed as a traitor to Japan," he told her.

She shuddered. "Another victory for the Shogunate."

"Yes and an important one."

~~~…~~~

The next morning, Kagome used her meager wages to get the necessary materials to write and send a message. She knew the message could be easily intercepted.

"I have heard word that the traveling medicine man's wares are not as he says. His medicines can cause death! Beware what he sells. I may return soon with better medicine from the capital.

I have heard he has also been selling his medicines to our friend and his wife. I'm going to make sure they're okay.

Ever your friend,

Kagome."

She opted to send it to Masa instead of Yukio, as Masa was more familiar with the games of war. He would understand what she was trying to say before Yukio would and would not act rashly. I'izuka had likely caused the death of their best friend by selling out the camp to the Shinsengumi. Yukio would want revenge.

In the meantime, Kagome wanted to find Kenshin before I'izuka's comrades sold him out completely. If she could warn him in time, he might be safe. The younger man was smart, but she had a feeling that he trusted too easily.

The problem with finding her fellow hitokiri was that the only clue she had to his whereabouts were Katsura's words, "I have prepared a house in a farm village outside Kyoto."

There were many farm villages outside Kyoto and they would all be wary of a stranger coming to look for a newlywed couple. Though they may be less suspicious of a miko looking for the best places to gather herbs.

Kagome contemplated that as she made her way home. Using that as an excuse to go from town to town wouldn't draw as much suspicion. It would take away from the time that she worked at the inn, but she could make up for that by working at night. She didn't need to sleep.

"Kikyo-san, wait a moment."

Kagome stopped in the doorway of the inn. The owner was approaching slowly, using his cane for support. In his other hand, he held a box out to her. "That man from last night brought this for you."

Her brow furrowed. "The man? Which man?"

"Mitsuharu-san."

Kagome took the box. "Thank you." She opened it. Inside were several sweets. She smiled.

"That man seemed fond of you. He asked if you would be working tonight as well."

"Did you tell him I would be?"

"I told him you happened to have the evening off," the old inn-keeper smiled smugly.

Kagome sighed, lamenting meddling old men. "Why did you tell him that?"

"Because I think you should be allowed to have fun occasionally."

She shook her head at the old man. "Won't you need help tonight?"

"I will manage for one night."

"If you say so… By the way, do you mind if I only work at night from now on? I was going to try to find some medicinal plants around Kyoto during the day. I thought they might help with your joint pain."

He took her hand. "If you could, I would appreciate it. My joints get worse every day."

That night, Mitsuharu came just as Kagome was finished washing the dishes from dinner.

"Kikyo-san."

"Mitsuharu-san. What are you doing here?"

"Did you get my gift earlier today?"

"I did. They were delicious."

"I'm glad you enjoyed them. Taro-san told me you were free tonight. Would you like to go out for a little while?"

Kagome looked down at herself. "If you can give me a few moments to get cleaned up, I would love to."

"Of course. If you'd like to bathe, I'd be glad to help."

Kagome laughed and gave him a gentle shove. "Mitsuharu-san, if you'd like to bathe, I believe the baths down the road are public."

"Would you like to go to those then?" he asked, smiling so she'd know he was teasing her.

She smiled. "If you'd like to sit and wait for me, I believe that the dining rooms are full, but you may wait in my room."

"I will take you up on that."

Kagome bathed quickly and changed from her red hakama and white haori into an indigo kimono with a pale orange obi.

Mitsuharu was examining her swords when she returned. He'd already examined and discarded Koga's former katana and was instead focused on Tetsusaiga. He looked up at her as she entered her room.

"They were given to me when my friends passed away," she said, taking Tetsusaiga from him and looking over it fondly.

"There's something interesting about that one."

"It's special," Kagome said, taking the sheath from him as well and putting the sword away. "It was passed from father to son. It's hundreds of years old."

"The friend you received it from was also special, was he not?"

Kagome interpreted his gaze correctly. "We would have married had he not died." She placed both swords back where they belonged beside her bed roll.

"Can you use them?"

"Well, the one is almost useless for me to use in battle. But yes, I may not be as skilled as a Shinsengumi captain, but I do know how to defend myself."

"I suppose that is a good thing in times like these, for a lone woman to be able to defend herself."

"I'm better with a bow, but my friends were all warriors and they taught me a little with their weapons of choice."

"In which battle did they die?"

She shook her head. "Not one from this war. I've been alone for a while now."

They left and walked around Kyoto. The city was still recovering, and soldiers roamed the streets looking for fights, but no one bothered her with Mitsuharu with her. He was a tall man and a little more muscular than Inuyasha had been. That along with his status as a leader of the Shinsengumi meant that they were left in peace.

When it began to snow, Mitsuharu bought her a jacket that matched her kimono, despite her protests. They listened to a few performers in the street and Mitsuharu tipped them generously. They spoke of growing up, he as the son of a samurai and she as a shrine maiden. Kagome found herself having a good time, despite being with one that would want her dead if he knew of her associations.

Somehow, her plans of wandering the country outside Kyoto for herbs came up.

"I'd like to come with you if you do that. It can be quite dangerous out there."

"No one will speak to me if I have a soldier with me. I'd like to actually find what I'm looking for," she responded.

"It's not safe for a lone woman, though. You could easily be injured, or worse."

"I will be fine, Mitsuharu-san. And if you insist on coming with me, I will be forced to leave before dawn so that I may avoid you."

"If you do so, I will just sleep outside your door so you have to climb over me to leave."

"I can be very quiet, that might not be a problem."

Mitsuharu sighed. "At least let me come with you a few times, so that they all know you are under the protection of the Shinsengumi."

"Am I? I thought I was under my own protection."

"You are under mine as well, Kikyo-san. And therefore you are under the protection of the Shinsengumi as well."

"I don't want them to know that. They may not take it well."

"Then I will not go while in my uniform. I will dress as a normal man and I will just be your fiancé protecting you while you collect medicine."

"A miko's fiancé? That is no better."

"In these days, it is better than a miko travelling by herself. You may be accosted by men thinking as I did."

"Mitsuharu-san, I will be fine. But if it makes you feel better, you may come with me three times and three times only."

"Fine, but I will make the decision on which three times it is that I go. And you have to tell me where you're going before I make that decision."

"Alright. Tomorrow I will set out in toward the east. Are you coming with me?"

It was more clever than she originally thought. Each evening she would tell him where she planned to go the next day and he would tell her whether or not he was going with her. She quickly discovered that he only accepted when she was heading north. It gave her a very good idea of where Kenshin might be hiding.

The people in the villages around Kyoto were as suspicious as she believed they would be.

Kagome walked through another village, trying to meet people's eye with a smile. Beside her, Mitsuharu walked with his arms crossed, his right hand resting near his katana. No one seemed to want to speak to them, despite Kagome's overtures of friendship.

She sighed. "It will be impossible to find the herbs I need for Taro-san's joint pain if no one will speak with me." She slyly looked at Mitsuharu from the corner of her eye. "I suppose it is well that this is your second outing with me. One more and I may be able to explore in peace!"

He laughed at her. He was not nearly as bundled up as her and was probably quite cold, but had given her his jacket after seeing that she had forgotten the one he had bought her on their evening around Kyoto. "Perhaps you would have more luck in the south." They reached a fork in the road and Kagome started off to the right. Mitsuharu put out a hand to stop her. "Why don't we try the other way first? I see more woods that way."

Kagome looked back and forth between the two paths. They looked as though there were equal amounts of undeveloped land to each way. "As you say," she acquiesced, keeping in mind that he did not want her to venture down the right fork.

Mitsuharu had proven several times that he was very protective of her. She found it likely that he would try to keep her away from the hitokiri battosai if he could.

That evening, several weeks after beginning her search, she received a letter from Masa.

"Thank you for your advice regarding the medicine man, but we haven't seen him since you left.

How are the newlyweds though? I hope they did not partake of his wares.

Yukio and I both fare well, though we hope to see or hear from you soon. If you need any help bring your medicines from the capital, let us know and we will travel there to help.

Affection,

Masa."

The end of the year drew closer and there was still no word of Katsura, though Kagome heard that Takasugi Shinsaku had risen up, despite rumors of illness. Mitsuharu kept her up-to-date on the state of the war, even while he brought her small presents and courted her.

She found, despite herself, that she liked him quite a bit. It made her sad to think that they might one day meet in battle and he would not even recognize her. She found, when she thought of that, that she was sure she could not kill him.

Two days before the new year and Kagome could feel that time was running out. Mitsuharu seemed distracted and she remembered his words about Kenshin dying before the new year and his head being displayed as the next year began. She was sure the plot assumed his death would be fresh for them to display his head.

Kagome and Mitsuharu were taking a break from the other Shinsengumi by stepping outside and watching the snow. Mitsuharu put an arm around her, looking up at the clouds.

"For people like you, I want to protect this city and our country," he told her. "The Ishin Shishi cannot accomplish their goals without the hitokiri and very, very soon, they will no longer have him." He looked down at her. "I suppose it is safe to tell you. Katsura Kogoro's advisor found out about the plan to kill the battosai. He's dead and they will be making a move on the battosai soon. Tomorrow or the next day. We can toast his death with plum wine at the new year and watch the sunrise without worry that he will come down from the roof to slaughter one of our own."

Kagome's heart froze as Mitsuharu leaned down and placed a kiss on the top of her head. Had he not been talking of killing one of her friends, the sentiment of protecting his country for her may have seemed romantic. "Talk of death seems like a bad omen for the new year."

"Talk of killing traitors to our country is not though."

Kagome huddled closer to Mitsuharu. "I'll be going north again tomorrow. I liked some of the herbs I found there."

"I can't go with you tomorrow."

"I see. I will be fine without you." The fact that he did not feel the need to go only confirmed her suspicion that Kenshin's death was planned for the next day.

"I know. Take your katana anyways, just in case."

"Of course."

~~~…~~~

Kagome set out with her katana and a bit of food the next morning, just before dawn. Mitsuharu had said goodnight with a kiss the night before, a lingering one, and though it confused her feelings, she still had to find a way to protect her friend.

It wasn't for her to know that she would be too late.

That evening, Kagome followed the scent of blood into the forest and found Kenshin clutching Tomoe's body.

"Himura?"

The man looked up, rage and sorrow in his eyes. "If you are from the shogunate, just kill me."

"I am not here to kill you."

Kenshin's sight and hearing had returned enough to realize that there was something familiar about the young woman, with the katana at her side. "Yasha-san?"

"Kenshin-san, what happened?"

He couldn't tell her. He only held Tomoe's cold body closer and took in the scent of her white plum perfume.

It took Kagome several hours to get Kenshin to leave his wife and return home.

Kagome had enough of digging graves. For Kanaye, for the other soldiers and now for Tomoe, the beautiful young woman that had known her secret from the start. It was too much.

She buried the woman and left the enemy to rot. She had someone else to worry about.

Kagome made soup and tea – anything she could think of to try to get him to eat. He refused all but the occasional warm tea. As it grew colder every evening, Kagome had to wrap the man in a blanket to keep him warm. He would not move, just sat in front of the fire pit that Kagome struggled to keep lit. On occasion, Kagome would try to initiate conversation – about anything, it mattered not. She would ask if he was curious why she disguised herself, she would tell him a little of her friends from the past.

Kenshin was nonresponsive. After a week passed, Kagome caught word of Katsura Kogoro returning. She sent two letters, one to Masa and Yukio, the other to Takasugi Shinsaku. She figured if anyone knew where Katsura was, it was Takasugi. She begged for Katsura to come to his hitokiri.

The letter to Masa was different.

"Our newlywed friend is sick. Bring any medicine you can. His wife has also died. The medicine man got to them.

His home is off the main road, three miles north of Kyoto. Come quickly.

Kagome."

After another week, she went to the inn in Kyoto where she had stayed. She took an extra set of Kenshin's clothes as he was still in the blood-stained ones that he had fought in and would not mind. It was hard leaving the broken hitokiri behind, but it was necessary, as was leaving Tetsusaiga with him – the sword was too recognizable. When she left, she took medicine for the old man's joints.

"A miko asked me to bring these to you."

"A miko? Where is she?" Kagome found herself against a wall, with Mitsuharu holding her there. She'd not even known the man was around.

"I don't know. She was in the south. You must be Mitsuharu-san. She spoke of you." Yasha's heart pounded, feelings confused by the man holding him against the wall.

"Of me? Why would she speak of me to you?" Mitsuharu let Yasha drop back to the ground.

"She wanted to thank you for your kindness and apologize for not being able to return."

"Why can't she return?"

"You would kill her, she said. She betrayed you and you would kill her." And back up against the wall with a hard shove.

"I would never kill her. I loved her."

"She said that she is Ishin Shishi." Kagome felt a flash of longing and pain at Mitsuharu's words.

This time, when Mitsuharu let go, Yasha moved so that he was not trapped against a wall. "Ishin Shishi?"

"Yes."

"The bastards are using female spies?"

"No. She did it on her own, then disguised herself as a man to give the information to the Ishin Shishi."

"And how do you know so much about it?"

Kagome smiled at him and there was a sudden flare of recognition. "Goodbye, Mitsuharu-san."

Mitsuharu was fast, but he couldn't move through the crowds as easily as she could. Kagome dodged in and out of people until she was in a burned section of town. She hid in a burned out building for an hour, but didn't hear anyone coming for her. She didn't sense Mitsuharu anywhere near.

It was a long afternoon as she walked back to Kenshin's house. It was snowing.

She could have loved that man, she mused as she walked. For all that he was Shinsengumi, he was a good man. He would have loved her and cared for her in the best way that he could, but it was not meant to be. She would have to bury the affection she felt or suffer for it.

When she arrived at Kenshin's hut, she could hear someone speaking.

"I want you… to make your heart blood-thirsty… and wield the sword… that soars the heavens."

Katsura was sitting across from Kenshin when Kagome slipped into his hut. The children outside peeped in.

"Can you come play with us? Not today either?"

"We're going to fly kites! Even though it's snowing."

"I see, I'm interrupting. I'll come again tomorrow," Katsura said.

"Katsura-san, you are interrupting nothing," Yasha told him quietly. Katsura shot him a curious look.

"I understand," the broken hitokiri finally said. He stood. "If I abandon the sword now, all the lives I've taken will be for nothing."

"Kenshin-san," Yasha said, putting out a hand. "You can rest and I will do as he asks."

"No. Tomoe taught me the many small happinesses that people live for. Until there can be an age lit up by these small happinesses, I will wield the sword. But, when the new age comes… at that time…"

"… You'll throw away your sword?"

"… I don't know. But I'll never kill again."

Both Yasha and Katsura watched as Kenshin stood in the doorway of his hut. The children had left.

"Katsura-san, send me with him. Two men are enough to be mobile. Masa and Yukio can watch our backs and we will wield our swords for you."

"Yes," Yukio said. They had arrived just in time to hear that. "As a team, we are small enough to be silent and mobile."

Katsura looked at the four of them as Yasha, Masa and Yukio took their places around Kenshin, putting themselves between the hitokiri and Katsura as a mother deer might place itself between its young and a wolf.

"Yes. At this time, I think that might be for the best."

At that moment, Yasha – Kagome – dedicated herself to protecting the delicate red-headed swordsman. He might be one of the best swordsmen living, but he was broken and she wasn't sure he could be safe on his own. As Tomoe had told him months before, he needed a sheath to hold his madness.

~~~…~~~

This was hastily written. I am a terrible author and have not updated this in two years, so when I decided that was too long, I had to finish the chapter immediately.

I hope those of you that read this enjoy it. We're getting towards the end of the Bakumatsu, though there are several more events that will take place in that era. This is one of my darker stories, or at least it feels that way to me. It's not very cheerful at least.