Warning: this story contains mention of both homosexual and heterosexual acts. I am an equal opportunity offender, I just like some couples more than others. If you are the sort to be easily offended, just click back now. This story also contains a mad scientist, bizarre experiments, and shows why I shouldn't write while sleep deprived and hyped on sugar. But it's fun, so it won't stop here.

Hojo had always been proud of his work ethic – nothing was achieved by wasting time, after all – but even he recognised that sometimes the mind needed a break. Time to relax, to rest and recharge so that his full mental energies could be applied to his projects.

That was why he had a hobby.

Hobbies weren't the kind of thing that people would associate with him, he knew. Many of his subordinates were convinced he lived in the ShinRa labs, when in fact he had an apartment just one floor below. It was certainly true that he could be found in them at all hours of the day, or night, but he did return to his apartment to eat, sleep and carry out necessary ablutions. And, more recently, to check on his hobby.

It was one he'd started when he was just a child in school, although back then it had been with little kits purchased at the local toy store, and then from the shops for more serious adult hobbyists. He'd built trains and robots, cars and buildings, boats and even doll's houses. When the kits bored him, he went on to make his own modifications, turning static models into working replicas, albeit on a much smaller scale. Then he grew up, and his miniatures were abandoned in favour of more interesting projects.

It was when Sephiroth was placed in the field during the Wutai war he found himself with a little more time on his hands than usual. He tried increasing the projects he was working on, but found that there were times when he was simply unable to concentrate, feeling the effects of stress in ways he was completely unused to. It frustrated him that he suddenly didn't have full access and control over his greatest project, and that certain people were unable to see the potential in some of his other works. And he knew enough about the physiological symptoms of stress to recognise it in himself. So he sought a way of mitigating it.

A holiday was out of the question. Hojo was not the kind of person to be made content by lying on the beach somewhere, doing nothing. And the thought of leaving his laboratory unsupervised for an extended period of time was unthinkable. He had projects that needed to be monitored carefully, and assistants who couldn't be trusted not to muddle things up. But something that took his mind off work, that didn't require that same level of commitment he'd always given to his scientific endeavours but was still enjoyable, that was a possibility. Until he realised how few interests he actually had outside of his work.

He was scarcely going to suddenly become a fan of the opera, like Heidegger, or take up golf, like Palmer. And he didn't see himself pursuing meaningless sexual relationships like Scarlet and the President did, either. Thinking with one's hormones was simply a way of deliberately dropping IQ points. That was when somebody made an offhand remark, and he remembered his childhood activities.

Hojo wasn't going to be content with mere kitset models now, though. So when he began making miniatures again, he set about replicating areas of the ShinRa building in perfect, miniature detail.

The first area he built was the labs: his own workspace, the areas where he stored specimens, even the refrigerator that held biological samples and the cupboard for storing cleaning supplies.

He replicated the foyer, with its sweeping staircases and reception desk, and after some consideration, added the exhibit room, too.

Then he built the SOLDIER floors, with their briefing rooms, training rooms, and sleeping quarters. That proved a little frustrating though, as without access to all the real quarters, he had to guess at the décor: although they were the same when assigned, he was not so foolish as to assume they remained identical once people resided within them.

It was that which led to him thinking that there was something missing from his models. All of them, while perfect in every inanimate detail, were lacking the same thing.

That gave him a new project, as he set about remedying that lack.

His first subject was none other than his favourite project. Sephiroth. At first, it felt wildly inappropriate to even consider doing this to the specimen that was the culmination of his life's work, but he decided that was showing an unnecessary emotional attachment that was unbecoming of a scientist. And he really wanted to see if he could manage it, anyway. His first dozen attempts met with failure, until he hit upon the idea of studying several monsters which were known to be able to cast the 'mini' spell as one of their offensive attacks.

Three attempts later, he had a viable specimen.

At first he thought it was deformed. The proportions looked so different from the original, who was a long, lean and graceful figure at nearly seven foot tall. The specimen he named MS15 was a mere seven inches, and more rounded in his shape. Not so much fatter as stockier, with nearly a third of his body being the head. Research showed that these proportions were more common in small animals, however, in order to provide adequate space for the brain. He made some notes to do tests on his specimen's intelligence levels at some point, and continued to attempt a smaller version. The next dozen attempts at that were also fruitless, however, and he concluded it was possible that he'd already reached an optimum size.

His attention returned to MS15, he decided it was unacceptable that his specimen should lack clothing – at least when he wasn't being examined, anyway. It was scarcely as though the original roamed the hallways of ShinRa HQ naked, after all, and his models were going to need rebuilding on a slightly larger scale to provide adequate housing for the miniature general, anyway. Not to mention they'd need to be secure enough to prevent escape.

So MS15 was left in a cage in a mostly unused corner of the specimen holding area to prevent discovery with only occasional checks on things like water and food, while Hojo set about rebuilding the SOLDIER quarters. He emptied out his living area completely – it wasn't like he had company over, after all - and began the new model on a low table built specifically for this purpose. It took him nearly a month before he was satisfied. At a little after three a.m. one morning, he collected the cage and took it down to his apartment.

MS15 looked more than a little disgruntled by the move, and looking at him, Hojo though he probably should have provided some method to allow the creature to groom himself, as despite the cage having being cleaned regularly, he was looking a little dirty. He administered the shot of sedative he'd prepared to make it easier to handle – like his progenitor, MS15 could be violently uncooperative, at times – and set about washing it before placing it in its new quarters. He even used a little of his own shampoo and conditioner on the specimen's hair, because the real Sephiroth would never have let it get into that condition.

Once it was clean, he placed it in the miniature reproduction of the general's quarters, and watched it blink, a little confused, as it took in its new surroundings.

It appeared to sniff the air, and he wondered if perhaps, like an animal, it had a stronger awareness of scents. But it didn't move. It simply waited, as if too see what would happen next. Then after half an hour there was a sudden burst of activity, as it explored the boundaries of the 'room' and thoroughly investigated the contents.

When the specimen discovered the clothing lying on the bed, he picked it up, and sniffed it thoroughly. That appeared to cause a negative reaction of some sort. Hojo watched, as MS15 carried the bundle of clothing through the open doorway to the adjoining 'bathroom'.

Here he'd made some concessions regarding accuracy. He was certain he could create working showers, but it was too early to tell if the specimen was intelligent enough to work such a thing. So at the moment the 'bathroom' consisted of a bathtub – already filled with water - and a litter box. MS15 had already shown some predisposition to cleanliness in that particular area, so he was confident there would be little required in the way of toilet-training. And he'd built a drain into the bathtub, both for convenience and because he didn't want to be removing large fixtures and leaving potential weak spots for the specimen to escape.

The specimen dumped the clothes in the water, and swirled them about with one hand. Hojo sighed. He should have dressed the specimen himself, perhaps, although maybe that would provide problems when it came to hygiene. His nose wrinkled at the thought. It was disappointing, though perhaps he'd allowed the resemblance of the specimen to Sephiroth to influence his impressions of the creature's intelligence. It was a good thing he'd not made the outfit of real leather.

Looking at his watch, he decided he had spent enough time on his hobby for one night, and that it was time to get some sleep. He activated the recording devices he'd installed, checked the 'model' was locked securely, and went to bed.

Before work the next morning, he double-checked the food and water levels, and discovered that MS15 had draped the articles of clothing over various objects before curling up in the bed, a blanket pulled around him. It looked almost familiar, and Hojo smothered a laugh as he realised it looked like the specimen was drying the garments. Looking back, he put this together with the way it had sniffed at them before immersing them in water, and decided that there had been something about the scent of them the creature didn't like. Perhaps it would wear the clothing after all? It was awake now, in response to the change of light, and glaring in annoyance at the clear 'ceiling' from which the brightness originated.

"Just as contrary as your original," Hojo chuckled. He would have liked to stay and observe further, but he knew that priorities meant work came before his hobby, however fascinating it might be. After a moment's consideration, he left the lights on as he left the apartment.

When he returned to his quarters that night, he was delighted to discover that MS15 had clothed himself in the garments provided.

"I really must run you through some of the standard intelligence tests we use on smaller animals," Hojo mused.

Within the week, he had done so, and was impressed by the results. The specimen certainly seemed much smarter than most animals its size, although it was nowhere near the level of a real human. Perhaps it was due to the genetic material he'd used as the basis for it? Maybe, looking at the way it behaved when housed in the model, it had some sort of genetic memory from its progenitor? Sephiroth did contain a large number of Jenova cells, after all. And then there was the mako, which had been proven to store memories at a level they had so far been unable to accurately map.

In the interests of exploring this, he provided the specimen with a miniature replica of Masamune, and released a smaller monster into the model. A fight ensued, although MS15 took more damage than he would have liked, and the level of skill was somewhat lacking. Still, how did you go about training a seven-inch-tall warrior? Hojo mused on this as he fixed the damage to the common area in which he'd released the monster.

Three days later, he installed a small TV in the same common area. On a two-inch-tall screen played footage of training exercises, from the basics used by the regulars in the security department to sessions recorded from the training room of Sephiroth and the other ranking SOLDIERs. MS15 proved wary of this new object for the first day or so then watched it with intent focus. Not long after, the recordings showed him trying to replicate the moves.

The next monster he released into the enclosure didn't last anywhere near as long as the first one.

Of course, now it was time to consider other things: could the results be duplicated with different genetic materials? How would MS15 interact with other specimens? Another specimen would provide a more challenging opponent than an unintelligent monster, regardless of its size. He chose Hollander's projects as his next subjects, given that he had numerous samples their genetic material on hand.

Once again, there were a few false starts. MA03 proved satisfactory, though, and he introduced it into the model. The two specimens eyed each other warily, nostrils flaring; then MS15 attacked. They fought, and Hojo wondered if perhaps he should separate them, but things came to an end when MS15 pinned MA03 to the floor, then manoeuvred him up and into the bathroom. Just like the clothing Hojo had provided his first day in residence, the specimen pushed the newcomer into the water and washed it thoroughly. MA03 submitted without much protest.

MG06 took somewhat longer to perfect – there appeared to be some problems with the original samples – but when it was placed within the model, the results were interesting. MA03 seemed uninterested in fighting MG06, but MS15 barely hesitated before going for him. And MG06 put up far more of a fight; even after being defeated, he still proved uncooperative.

Within a few days it became clear that MA03 and MG06 were as attached to each other as their SOLDIER counterparts. And while MA03 seemed to get on well enough with MS15, there was still the occasional defiance from MG06. Hojo found it fascinating how closely their interactions mirrored those of their progenitors. And the next monster was quickly despatched by all three.

Of course, a general wasn't much of a general without troops to command. He recreated a number of first class SOLDIERs in miniature form, and even a few army regulars. Sooner or later, everybody in the military had samples taken, so it wasn't hard. He'd managed to perfect the process, resulting in less non-viable miniatures. MS15 remained the tallest, reflecting the stature of its progenitor, even if not so statuesque. The remainder seemed to settle somewhere around the six-inch mark, although the smallest barely topped five-and-a-half.

A board meeting that was particularly annoying, interrupting an important experiment, led to him taking another sample out of storage, and creating MPS01. He built an addition to the model, a replica of the President's office and apartment. Once again, complete accuracy gave way to practicality, and he put the apartment next to the office. It was easier to observe with all specimens on the same level.

To his amusement, the other specimens ignored the often loud MPS01. MS15 was their undisputed leader, and they had no time for this uppity newcomer. After a week, MPS01 stayed mostly in its own area. It appeared to be suffering some form of depression, so Hojo made a new miniature, MSEC01. It wasn't hard: the President and his secretary were in the habit of leaving biological samples all over the conference rooms of the executive floors.

MPS01 and MSEC01 proved that the miniatures' breeding habits did, in fact, mimic humans. Hojo was somewhat annoyed when MSEC01 became pregnant, then decided to watch and see what happened. The birth was successful, but MSEC01 was apparently lacking in any maternal skills, and the new specimen died shortly after birth. Hojo removed it to autopsy the corpse, then, after some thought, designed a shot to render the female miniature infertile. He didn't want uncontrolled breeding, anyway.

The model had yet more areas added to it, and new residents as well. He had samples for most of the Turks, and young Rufus, as well. Interestingly, they formed their own group separate from that MS15 led. There was some interaction between the groups, but for the most part a sense of rivalry seemed to prevail.

Hojo also came to learn that the miniatures' mating habits were not, in fact, limited solely to breeding, after one recording showed some rather startling footage of MG06 and MA03. When he looked closer, it became apparent that this was on a somewhat wider scale than he'd initially thought, as MS15 appeared to have found two regular partners, and several of the Turk miniatures were also clearly paired off. Perhaps it was due to the low number of females – only three, so far – that most of these arrangements disregarded gender. And MPS01 certainly hadn't ceased in its attentions to its 'secretary' now that she was no longer fertile.

The contents of ShinRa HQ were no longer proving that interesting to Hojo, however. He combed his archives looking for more possible samples, and found some he'd not worked with since the original specimens escaped his grasp a decade before. He still had people searching for the daughter, but for now he decided a miniature would do as well as the real thing. The daughter took four attempts to create a viable specimen, designated MAE04. It appeared that there were some definite differences between the DNA of the Ancients, and that of ordinary Gaians. Her mother took six attempts.

He couldn't accurately predict what kind of environment MI06 and MAE04 would live in after their escape, so he decided to rebuild the mansion at Nibelheim for their residence. He chose to leave it unattached from the main model, as he was unwilling to let them mix with the other specimens just yet, nor did he want to use the anti-fertility shot on them in case of long-term consequences. After all, as specimens went these two were far more important than a secretary and a couple of Turks.

That gave him a new idea for his next miniature. He had to go into cold storage to find that particular sample, and he examined it carefully to see if there was any sign of the changes he made at the genetic level. It was hard to tell, however, and in the end he decided to just go ahead and see what would happen. It wasn't as if he had miniature demons lying around to replicate the original experiments with; but even year later he felt a sense of hostility towards Vincent Valentine that he was willing to admit went beyond the bounds of rationality. But the idea of a Valentine only six inches high was oddly satisfying, in the same way it was amusing to watch a miniature version of the President rant ineffectively from his 'office' in between chasing the secretary miniature around his desk.

It appeared some changes had taken place on the genetic level after all, because when MV02 was produced, it had little bat-like wings on its back. It nearly escaped when Hojo failed to realise that the red-and-black wings were fully capable of lifting the specimen in flight. Hojo locked down the lab he was working in, and released a small quantity of sleeping gas, relying on the fact that the specimen was much smaller. At first he thought it was too much, as the specimen was still sleeping the next day, but when he checked the cage that night, it was glaring at him with a ferocious red gaze.

Hojo chuckled. "You know, the real Valentine gave me that look more than a few times, and do you know where he is now? Locked in a box. At least you have more room, comparatively speaking. You should be grateful." He smirked. "I think I'll put you in with the rest. Of course, they might decide you're a monster." He pictured MV02 being skewered on MS15's blade, or taken down by MT01's Turks. The irony was delicious.

To his disappointment, neither happened. He did watch when MV02 was placed in the enclosure, but the red-eyed glare seemed to hold off all who would approach, and he still had to get several hours sleep in order to perform to his usual standards at work the next day. At the end of that shift he discovered MV02 was alive and well, and had apparently resolved the issue by taking up residence in a corner uninhabited by the SOLDIER or Turk packs, ignoring both.

Hojo sighed, and looked around. The original model had expanded to cover two-thirds his living room, with some narrow walkways between. It was odd to realise that he'd been working on it for nearly three years, now. He should perform some in-depth examinations on his original specimens to see if there was any visible degradation from aging, but it was beginning to look like further expansion would be problematic. He frowned. He'd been considering looking at the science department next, because the majority of his miniatures were fighters. It would be interesting to see if he could create a 'scientist' caste among them, specimens that relied on their intelligence rather than their physical prowess.

But he'd need more space, and potentially an even more secure enclosure if they did prove more intelligent than his previous miniatures. No, he'd take some time before proceeding further, to review his results so far and plan carefully his next steps. Perhaps some of the existing specimens should be disposed of.

Hojo frowned. Yes, this would require very careful consideration indeed.

And that was how things stood when a certain red-headed Turk with a reputation for pranks accepted a dare to break into Hojo's apartment.