My first scrubs fic. Yay! A/N Things in parenthesis () are day dreams, italics are JD's thoughts

"Not again…" I muttered as I woke up. The same stupid dream all week. My mind started to play over it… (Dr. Cox grabbing me in the on call room and throwing me against the wall, then it took a left turn and paint balls started raining from the ceiling.)

"The stains would never come out, " I said out loud, then shook my head to escape the daydream. I walked out of my room to the kitchen, where Turk was watching cartoons and Carla was making pancakes.

"Have the dream again?" asked chocolate bear.

"Yup." I said, I probably should tell Turk what my dream is about, but I don't know how he'll react…

"What about?" asked Carla, who was dying to know.

"Baby…" Turk said, warningly. She backed off and we ate pancakes, then SCB and I watched the rest of the cartoon together. Turk drove us to work, and we all headed different ways, Turk to the O.R., Carla to the nurses station, and I went to get my diary from the locker room. Disturbing as it was, I still had to write my dream down somewhere, or I would blurt it all out, probably to the wrong person. I started writing, and didn't stop until 'someone' interrupted me.

"NEWBIE!" yelled a voice from outside the room, Dr Cox barged in and I shoved the notebook into my locker before he could see it.

Oh crap.

"I know that it must be just fa-he-acinating to sit on your ass an read a romance novel, but you've somehow become a doctor, and you don't have enough time to waste it the changing room, so whaddya say you put away that diary of yours and we actually get to work, eh Susan?" I blushed, which would only make Dr. Cox think I was girlier. Damn! I knew I should have put it away faster! Dr Cox turned and walked away, whistling over his shoulder.

"Newbie come" he said, and maintaining my dignity (or not) I followed like a puppy.

A few minutes later, the Janitor walked out from behind the wall of lockers and looked around. Satisfied that no one was coming he walked over to JD's locker and opened it with a key off his cart. He grabbed the diary and flipped through it until he found the latest entry.

"Oh scooter, you're in for it now." he chuckled. He put the stolen diary on his cart and walked away.

I ran back and forth for hours, treating patients with increasingly unpronounceable diseases. Finally I got a break and got crappy cafeteria coffee with Turk, Carla and Elliot. Finally, a chance to relax. Only I didn't exactly get to relax, since I walked up to the table right in the middle of an uncomfortable Elliot story.

"- so then a month later, my elbow had swelled up to the size of a grapefruit-"

"Bambi!" Carla said, using me as a distraction to get Elliot as far away from her current topic as she could. I was too tired to care. I sat down and thankfully the blonde stopped jabbering away. My neck sort of gave out, so I rested my head on the table. Fat lot of good caffeine did.

"Why so tired, Vanilla bear?" asked Turk. Elliot looked towards him.

"Yeah JD, last time I saw anyone that tired was when my mom ran out of sleeping pills. She made the pool boy carry her around all day…" Everyone ignored her as she went off into crazy land.

"It's that stupid dream! I keep having it, then waking up, then falling back asleep and having it again. It's driving me crazy!" I slammed my head back onto the table, giving me a headache to put on my list of complaints, and causing Carla to go into mother hen mode.

"It's okay bambi, you know, the easiest way to stop having a dream is to tell someone else about it." I glared at her.

MY SEX DREAMS ARE NOT GOSSIP!

"Not happening." I said. I walked away from the table, giving chocolate bear a glance. Talk some sense into her. He nodded, and I left the cafeteria taking my crap coffee with my while I visited my new patient. Unfortunately, my new patient turned out to be Mr. Korman, an extremely annoying hypochondriac.

"What is it now Mr. Korman?" I deadpanned, not in the mood to deal with him.

Damn it. I have to spend my extra time here when there are so many other things I could be doing…

A picture of Dr. Cox jumped into my head.

"NO! Bad brain! That is not what I meant!!" That's when I noticed Mr. Korman staring at me, well no duh! I just started yelling at my own head! I need sleep…

"So, what's wrong with you?" I said, trying to pretend it didn't happen.

Mr. Korman was willing to play along. "Well, the other night I was watching TV when I started giggling hysterically, then I hiccupped, then I had this kind of full-body twitch that went from my left shoulder to my right knee. So what do you think it is?" I was speechless. So it was a good thing when Dr. Cox, who was walking by, heard the whole thing and decided to come in just to yell at an incredibly stupid patient.

"Mr. Korman!" Dr. Cox said, smiling. I stepped back a bit, knowing that the smile was a very bad sign.

"Please, we know each other so well by now, call me Harvey."

The poor man is on his deathbed.

"We-hell! Harvey! I heard everything you just said and decided to tell you the bad news myself." Mr. Korman brightened, the possibility of disease was always good.

"You have a very serious case of hypochondria. Now my suggestion is that ya go home, stop watching those medical shows you're so damn fond of, and stay the hell out of my hospital." Mr. Korman's face fell.

You think he would have expected it after the last four times that happened. Dr Cox left the room, and, for lack of anything better to do, I followed him.

"You had better be heading somewhere very far away from where I'm going Pricilla." I accidentally made an 'eep!' noise, which I tried to turn into a more manly cough. It didn't work.

"Of course I am, Perry!" I dodged into a random patient's room before Dr Cox decided to beat me up for using his first name. I shut the door and looked around.

Good. No one's here.

"Scooter." said a voice from behind me. "I was wondering when you were going to show up."

The Janitor sounded happy, that was never good. I gulped and slowly turned to face my nemesis.

"Hello. Well, I'll just be leaving now…" my sad attempt at chickening out was easily foiled by the Janitor blocking the only exit.

What am I supposed to do now?

(I pulled an orange whistle from around my neck, and blew until it made a high screeching sound. The Janitor put his hands over his ears and let out a roar of pain. I quickly run around him and into the safety of the hallway.)

I need to steal Elliot's rape whistle the next time I'm at her place…

"You can't go until you've done me a little 'favor'…" My mind, like earlier, immediately jumped to a very bad place, and I felt mildly nauseous.

"I don't swing that way!" I yelled, in a high-pitched strained voice, much to the amusement of the people in the hallway. The Janitor just laughed sinisterly.

"Oh, but I have the feeling that yes, you do. In fact, I have proof."

(Me backed up against a wall in a spotlight, surrounded by police.

"You've got nothin' on me coppers!")

"What was that?" asked the Janitor.

Damn! I have got to stop saying things like that out loud!

"You've got nothin' on me… Janitor" I said in a slightly less confident voice than imaginary JD did. The Janitor broke into a wide smile at that.

"Oh really," he picked up a notebook from his cart, opened it and began to read. "He pinned me against the wall, and his hands moved lower and lower. 'Don't stop,' I said, 'don't stop Dr C-'"

"Make your demands." I said, feeling the blood drain out of my face.

"Well, I need some help getting blonde doctor to notice me. So you're gonna help me make her jealous." The Janitor kept grinning, causing me to doubt his sanity even more than I usually did. The doctor in me had to point out the very obvious flaw.

"How are you going to do that?" I asked.

"If she thinks I'm dating someone, she'll get jealous, realize the love she feels for me, beat you to a pulp, and we will live happily forever after." I still didn't think he could see it.

"How are you going to make this girl jealous, if she thinks you're going out with a guy?" The Janitor smiled even wider, and I got this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Please don't be thinking what I think you're thinking, please don't be thinking what I think you're thinking…

"That's the fun part!" said the Janitor, who I now knew was an evil mastermind.

Today is not my day.