Stargaze

dedicated to all the great S/L fics out there

Lily sat, wedged uncomfortably into the windowsill. A sharp jutting piece of the wall stuck into her lower back as she stared out into the heavens, while softly murmuring names.

"Erm... Casseiopeia? Or is that, no, that one's Casseiopeia. That one's...Cancer?...damn, what is it?"

They had an Astronomy test in two days, and she would not be failing another one. She pressed her quill to her cheek, paused, made a face, then sighed and scrubbed the ink off with her palm. She turned her eyes upwards again, this time angrily berating herself while trying to fill in her chart.

"Talking to yourself, Evans? First sign of madness, that is."

She nearly fell out the window.

She threw her hand out and caught the windowsill, but not fast enough to prevent her stomach from dropping the four stories to the ground. She turned around, and the interloper presented himself.

Sirius Black stared superciliously at her, one eyebrow raised.

"Jesus Christ, Black! Don't do that!"

"Hmmm, she speaks." he cocked his head in a strangely canine manner. Then: "I'm honored." he added dryly.

"Go mind your own bloody business, Black. I'm trying to do an Astronomy chart."

He grinned easily, and began to quote lightly, "I am too bold, 'tis not to me she speaks. Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven, having some business, do entreat her eyes-"

"- to twinkle in their spheres till they return." She finished, before raising an eyebrow, "Shakespeare? Really?"

He shrugged, "Only for beautiful young ladies."

"Flattery gets you nowhere... except on the the other end of my wand."

He wagged an admonishing finger, and clucked his tongue "Temper, Evans! Be nice! No one likes mean girls."

She hopped lightly off the windowsill, "Remind me again why you're wandering around at, oh-" she checked her watch, "-half past two in the morning?" Her hands were crossed in front of her and she stared challengingly up at him.

"Remind you? I don't remember telling you in the first place. Is the wonderful Evans hallucinating?" His tone was an irksome combination of amusement and flirtation.

She glowered. "Don't change the subject."

"Again with the temper. Don't you ever learn?"

Any normal human would have already burnt into a pile of faintly smoldering ash, but Sirius Black was far from normal. He countered her best death stare with his best grin, and perched cheerfully on the windowsill. Same cocky smile, same sparkling eyes-

"God, you're just like Potter." She rolled her eyes in fury.

He gave her a crooked, impish smile. "I'm flattered." He brought his legs up and curled himself into the window with feline grace.

"Don't be. Potter's an arrogant arse."

"True."

"True?" she said in disbelief, "You agree?"

"Oh yes, absolutely. Look at him, plaguing you so awfully." There was a definite tone of mockery in his words. She could just see the tips of his mouth curling upwards into a secret smile. She resumed frowning at him.

"You're an infuriating bastard at the best of times, Black, and now you're an infuriating bastard with a detention."

"No," he began, taking the detention in stride. "At best, I'm devilishly handsome, roguishly charming, and, I've been assured, an excellent kisser." Now if that wasn't just like Black...

She stopped herself from smiling, and scoffed, instead. "Well, you'll have to excuse me. Normally, I'd test the claim, but I've got homework."

He shrugged, clearly unfazed, staring absently at the sky. "That's tragic."

And the fact that she turned him down didn't bother him the littlest bit? "God, you're such an asshole." she said, before preparing to flounce off.

"You know what the sky looks like?" he said, as if he wasn't really listening, "Like the sea. Like someone flipped the world upside-down and the stars are really ... fishes." He smiled a strange smile, and resumed not looking at her.

She blinked. "Erm, what?"

He burst out laughing suddenly, "Never mind." He said, shaking his head. "It just struck me, I guess."

"Well, it was strangely poetic." She said, sitting down. She wouldn't leave quite yet.

"That's me! Talented in many, many ways." Back to the flirtatious grin. Oh, and innuendo.

Asshole indeed.

"Just why are you so cocky, anyway?" She leaned back on her arms, crossing her ankles in front of her.

This time he blinked, looking caught off guard. "Huh?" His eyes were wide and innocent... it was actually sort of endearing.

She pursed her lips, "I mean, is there any particular reason for your inexplicable ego?"

"How can there be a reason if it's inexplicable?"

"Nitpicking."

"You've got lice?"

"Oh, come on, be serious."

"Can't be anything else." he shrugged, flashing her a quick grin.

She rolled her eyes, "I just walked right into that, didn't I?"

He smirked. "Yep."

"You know, Black, if you weren't so attractive, I think you'd be dead."

"Attractive, hmm?" he smirked again.

"I-I mean... well, I-" she sputtered.

She really couldn't save the situation. She was such an idiot. How could she have been stupid enough to say that? But it's true, a little voice contended in her head, just look at him. And she did, taking in his clear grey eyes, hanging between interest and amusement, straight nose, lips soft (seductive) twitching up at the corners, a cloud of thick dark hair elegantly obscuring part of his slim, pale face.

Her eyes widened as she lost her train of thought and fell silent, staring at the ground.

When she looked up again, it was to find him grinning, thoroughly enjoying her embarrassment, "No worries, Evans. I've heard it before. And plus-" he paused to give her a reflective glance, "You're not half bad yourself. Actually, " he said, as if conceding something, "you're rather-" this time his eyes widened, and he stopped, seemingly shocked at what he had been about to say. He turned himself around so his legs hung out the window, and stared again at the sky, looking surprised.

"I'm what?"

She could see him grinning. He shook his head, and now she was smiling, too.

"Come on, what am I? Pretty? Clever? Fiery? Talented? Charming-" she counted off adjectives, trying to hide a smile all the while.

"Maddening."

She raised an eyebrow, but he refused to elaborate, just turned and grinned dashingly over his shoulder, "Maddening."

She glared, "That's not what you were going to say."

He shrugged, "Who said it was?"

She opened and closed her mouth a few times trying to think of a response. She suddenly realized that she was really, really enjoying this conversation. Well, who knew? She thought. Of all the people she'd have thought she could have a funny conversation with, even Potter had outstripped Black. But like the proverbial dark horse, he challenged all the odds, and here they were...

"And, by the way, I'm not the only one with ego problems..." he said, interrupting her thoughts.

"What?"

"'Pretty? Clever? Talented? Charming?' You sure think highly of yourself."

She mock-pouted, "You forgot fiery."

His lips twitched.

"And anyway," she continued, "it's not arrogant, because it's all true." she gave him a very smug look.

"Well, that's what being arrogant is, isn't it?" He looked back at her again, "Being proud of all the things that are true?"

"No, no, that's confidence." she clarified, "Arrogance is taking confidence and inflating it to the size of a dragon." Feeling mischievous she added, "Like you."

"Ah well, I've got more to be proud of then most." He was smiling again. "What time is it by the way?"

"Err...oh! Three o'clock!" she smiled up at him, "Hmmm...I guess time really flies when you're having fun."

"So you're admitting this is fun?"

"I never denied it."

"True."

"Of course it is, I don't tell lies."

"So the whole 'attractive' thing..." he threw in, glancing back as he said it. It wasn't quite casual, but she didn't know him well enough to realize.

She buried her face in her arms "Don't make me relive it. Please." she said, in a muffled voice.

"You know I'm never gong to let you forget that, right?"

She glared, "Oh come on, it's not like I'd ever really be attracted to you anyway."

He whirled around, eyes alight with mischief. He sniffed the air exaggeratedly, "Do I scent a challenge, Evans?" He hopped off the windowsill at last, and began to walk towards her.

"Absolutely not, Black." Her eyes flashed. She was tempted to start scooting away from him.

"Oh," His voice was suddenly soft, all she could see of his face was his smirk, his eyes hidden beneath a thick fringe, "I daresay I do." He looked at her, and the look in his eyes was (infuriating? no...) transfixing. "I most definitely do."

She had to admit: she was curious. Just what was he going to do?

He walked dangrously close to her, smirking all the while. He leaned downwards, slowly closing the gap between their faces. Her eyes flicked back and forth between his as she swallowed.

What was that smell around him? Tangy musky, a little spicy.

Her chest was tightening a little too much, and she was having trouble breathing.

Blood was thundering through her veins.

He had one, two, three nicks on his face. One tiny one at the corner of his eye. She could see them all.

She swallowed again, and he seemed to take this as some sort of cue, leaning down gently to catch her lips, then stepping back.

Or trying to.

Because Lily Evans was not any other girl, and while most would stare wide-eyed at him, blink, maybe throw in a little "Oh." of shock, before trying to cover up the awkward lull in conversation, Lily was not going to let herself be made into a fool (again) by Sirius Black.

She was also sixteen, reckless, and a little punchdrunk off the heady fumes he seemed to be releasing. Also, she had horrible judgment, but that would come later.

As he began to pull away, she grabbed his tie, and tangled one of her hands in his thick mane of hair, and pulled him downward into a vicious kiss. Thier lips gyrated in time and she was forced to admit, that yes, he was indeed an excellent kisser. Very good.

She pulled him closer, feeling as if the blood in her veins was a waterfall, the floor was thundering with an earthquake, she was floating and sinking at the same time, anchored by the speedy thumpthumpthump of his heart next to hers.

He tried to pull away again, but she bit him. A little. Hard.

Then she gripped him harder, and pulled him closer to her.

He finally did manage to pull back, and she found, to her consternation, that both of them were wrapped far too closely around one another, one of his hands was tightly clutching her elbow, and one around her waist.

Both of them were panting, and to her enormous pleasure, this time he was the one who swallowed. His eyes were smoky and dark and terribly surprised, and his voice was husky and low when he said.

"Damn, Lily, you were not supposed to do that."

She grinned wickedly, "Oh, now it's Lily, is it?"

He blinked at her, then grinned a bit, "Whoops." His hair was mussed up a bit, but that forelock still hung in his face. She wanted to brush it back. She wanted to kiss him again.

Neither of them let go of each other, and he stared at her for a few interminable moments, still smiling an unreadable smile. Then, his body went taut, as if he had just realized something and he shoved her abruptly away.

"This isn't going to work out."

"What isn't going to work out?" she said. "We don't have anything yet." she said, grinning.

He smirked, "If that wasn't anything..." but he didn't finish the sentence, and his smirk slid off his face before he turned away. "I can't do this. It's not..."

"Not what?"

"It's not... not going to work. We're too... this is too..." He had the look of a deer in headlights, "Too much. Too fast. Too something."

"What?" she said.

"You're Evans," he burst out feverishly, "You're going to be Head Girl, and go off and become a Healer, or a professor, or something! You're going to get married, and live in a little cottage. You're predictable, and normal, and- Dammit, you're not supposed to be this way!"

"What way?"

"Maddening. Infuriating."

She cocked an eyebrow, and smiled at him. "Well, I guess you've learned your lesson."

He didn't smile though. "Listen, we can't do this."

She was slowly becoming angry. "What's wrong with you? What are you even talking about? Give me an actual reason, dammit! Stop dancing around the issue." Just why, just how, was he going to convince her that... what this could be... wasn't going to work.

"It's- do you know what a blue rose means?"

"There's no such thing, Black." The arse was trying to change the subject!

He sighed, and ran his fingers through his hair. Must have gotten it from Potter, she thought. Strangely it didn't look nearly as annoying on him. "Yes, there is. It means unattainable. Too perfect to be real." His grey eyes sought her out again. "That's what this would be. Too much. Too perfect."

"Too perfect? That's the best reason you can come up with? Jesus - If you're too immature to handle a relationship, say so. Too perfect," she murmered, "Goddamn, Black, but you're an asshole."

It's the fact that she called him an asshole, maybe, but all of a sudden, he slipped out of this new (vulnerable, flustered) Sirius Black, and he was back to himself. "Oh, you don't mean that. Don't forget that you started this." He was grinning that awful grin again.

She glared, "This isn't over yet. Don't think I'm letting you off the hook."

He raised an eyebrow, "Let me? I make my own decisions, Lily dearest."

"Well, this isn't just about you, bastard."

He shrugged "Well, for all you know, I'm an insensitive wart who doesn't give a damn about your feelings." A little emotion slipped into his tone, but like the mystery he'd always been, she couldn't figure it out. "A philandering cad, to be archaic."

She grabbed his tie again, and something definitely flickered in his eyes. "Bullshit, Black."

He grinned, enjoying her fury, "You look gorgeous when you're pissed, babe. Just remember- you can't make this work."

He slipped out of her hold and turned around, throwing a casual wave over his shoulder. She crossed her arms, and stared at him. He turned to look back at her, and in the candlelight she could see that his lips were scarlet and that there was a small bruise forming just at the corner of his mouth.

A little jolt went through her, and as he stalked off, she grinned playfully at his retreating back.

"Do I scent a challenge, Black?"