Thomas the Tank Engine: UNCUT

Thomas the Tank Engine: UNCUT

Episode 1: Gordon and Postman Pat

Disclaimer: I don't own Thomas the Tank Engine

One day Gordon was stuck in the shed. He was really peed off because the Fat Controller wouldn't let him pull passenger trains. Gordon ran over the Fat Controller's cat a day earlier, and this was his punishment.

One day Gordon's driver and fireman came up to the shed.

"Wake up, Gordon," said his driver. "It's time for your first goods train."

"BOG OFF", said Gordon. "I ain't pulling no friggin' goods train".

"If you're going to be rude, you can just stay in the shed all day," said his fireman.

"I don't f(bleep)ing care," grumbled Gordon. "Can't some other engine do it?"

"Listen you," said his driver. "If you don't pull this very important goods train then I'll sent you straight to the smelting pit. You WANT THAT? HUH? BUDDY?"

"Alright, alright," complained Gordon as he came out of the shed. "I'll pull the bloody train."

Thomas laughed as Gordon was coupled to the very long, smelly goods train. "HAW-HAW!" laughed Thomas in Nelson Muntz's voice, just to annoy Gordon.

"SILENCE, WORM." ordered Gordon, copying Horrid Henry's catchphrase as he began to pull the long, smelly goods train out of Knapford goods yard.

Soon Gordon began to gain speed. He asked if it was a slow or fast goods train. "It's a fast goods train," called his driver. "You can go as fast as you want!"

"In that case," said Gordon, "Full speed ahead!" Soon they were barrelling down the main line at high speed. But a mile ahead was a crossing.

Postman Pat had got his van stuck on a crossing on the main line. "Bloody van", grumbled Postman Pat as he tried to push it away from the crossing. "I'd better hurry before the next train comes."

Suddenly he heard the sound of a whistle. "Oh, bugger," thought Postman Pat. "BUGGER!" But it was too late. Gordon saw the van up ahead. "Oh, dang!" he cried. He shut his eyes.

Gordon ploughed through postman pat's van at 100mph with the fast goods train. Oil spilled everywhere and crates were smashed. Gordon came to a grinding halt on his side.

Luckily, Postman Pat wasn't hurt, but he was very cross indeed. He marched up to Gordon.

"LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY F(bleep)ING VAN YOU GREAT GALLOPING COCK!" shouted Postman Pat angrily.

"It wasn't MY fault!" protested Gordon. "The signal was green! It's YOUR fault because YOU decided to take a shortcut across the tracks, knobhead!"

"How DARE you speak to me like that!" shouted Postman Pat. "And how DARE you run over my cat!"

"Great, first the Fat Controller's cat, now Postman Pat's." thought Gordon.

"Hey Gordon", said his driver, who was unhurt. "Is your fire still burning? I mean, there is an awful lot of oil on the floor and…"

Gordon, his driver, and Postman Pat looked at one another, and then paused.

"OH SH…" But it was too late. As soon as they all completed the first part of the word, there was a huge explosion.

Meanwhile, back at the sheds, Thomas and his pals saw the explosion from a distance.

"Wow, cool! Fireworks!" squeaked Percy. "Wicked!" said the other engines.

"It's a shame Gordon's not here too see this" said Henry.

"Oh, I don't know," said Thomas. "Maybe Gordon thinks we're such great pals he decided to put it on for us!"

"Well, one thing's for sure, if the Fat Controller thinks this is cool, then Gordon is definitely gonna apologize for running over his cat!" commented James.

THE END

P.S: I don't think Gordon will be running over any cats for a while!