Spoilers: Through S14.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my inspiration.
AN: For lockhartislove at LJ. I've never written ER before so bear with me.

The sound of waves crashing on the coastline provides a rhythm as you drift in and out of consciousness.

You squish the sand in your toes and listen to Joe and Luka laughing as they play in the tide.

There's a house up on a hill and from the window in the kitchen you can see this very spot.

You were never much for houses, never much for kids or rings. But somehow this is right. Maybe not perfect, but there's peace. A peace you didn't get from the bottom of the bottle. A peace you've only ever found collapsing into bed after 16 hour shifts and multiple car pile-ups.

You miss it. You can taste the crisp Chicago wind and smell the cleaner they use on the floor. If you let your mind drift long enough you can even hear the sounds of a trauma. It haunts you and comforts you like vodka without the haze.

The sound of Joe toddling to your side snaps you back to reality and his smile fills you with guilt. You can imagine the world without him and maybe that makes you a bad mother. Or maybe it just makes it that much more important that you give this your best. That you give him your best.

You almost lost him once. You can't, you won't let that happen again.

Standing, you pull him up into your arms and smile back at him, catching the smell of his shampoo mixed with the salty air. Looking into his eyes the peace falls back over you.

Yes, this is right.