First Mario fanfic. Don't ask me to explain it, even I don't quite understand it.

Though I am aware that any Dimentio fan will tell you Dimentio didn't die, I couldn't but to wonder how he'd end up if he did. Since he can't be found in the Underwhere, I figured SOMETHING had to have happened to him. Ergo, this short little oneshot. I can only hope I did all the characters justice.

Anyways, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the idea. Not even the computer this was written on is mine.

Before you hand me over/ Before you read my sentence
I'd like to say a few words/ Here in my own defense...
Some people struggle daily/ They struggle with their conscience/ Till the end
I have no guilt to haunt me/I feel no wrong intent
-Lawrence Gowan, A Criminal Mind

"He's escaping!"

"I have the mace!"

Queen Jaydes had to get up from her throne after hearing those last words. The commotion had been going on for almost a minute now, but those words had caught her attention. As she entered the main hall, she took a few seconds to assess the situation: the large doors that made up the entrance were still swinging slightly, several weapons from the walls were missing, and all but a few terrified-looking D-Men were gone. She cleared her throat, and the D-Men jumped several feet. The situation had to be bad.

"What's going on?" Despite her anxiety, her voice remained cool and level. The D-Men exchanged looks before one spoke.

"W-well, my Queen, ol' Charlie was making his rounds when this, this soul fell into his boat. Charlie must've figured he'd want to see you, ma'am, so he took the boat ashore, but then the soul woke up and attacked poor Charlie-"

"WHAT?" The D-Man shook at Queen Jaydes's shout. Every other D-Man ran for cover. Queen Jaydes walked past the D-Man. "Tell me the rest on the way." She wanted her chance at this monster as well. The D-Man gulped, looked at his hiding companions, and followed his queen.

"Yes, ma'am. So, he knocked out Charlie and, you see, he was trying to take the boat when two of us, they were making their rounds and they saw him and so they tried to stop him. Had to call reinforcements. I heard it took ten to finally take the whackjob down. They were taking him to you when he broke away."

"Which explains the commotion." Queen Jaydes glanced at the mob of D-Men ahead. "How many decided to help?"

"Ten, ma'am."

"It takes twenty of my best men to capture a single soul now?" She arched an eyebrow at the D-Man beside her. He fidgeted.

"For this one, ma'am, yes." The D-Man shrugged, unable to offer a better reply. Queen Jaydes rolled her eyes and approached the mob.

"Stop." The D-Men all froze on the spot, even the one that held a mace-and-chain over his head. "Release the soul to me." One stuttered.

"B-b-but, my Queen!"

"That's an order." The mace was lowered and the D-Men collectively stepped aside; that is, all but two, who shoved the soul towards Queen Jaydes. He stumbled, falling on his hands and knees. The soul coughed and raised his head.

Queen Jaydes, for one, was shocked. Even though she too was outraged, the D-Men had shown absolutely no mercy to this soul. His mask was cracked, a smoky substance leaking out; the motley costume was torn, shredded, and burned; and blood was splattered all over the soul.

And he still wore a large grin.

"Ah ha ha ha ha… it appears that the queen is far more merciful than her subjects." Even as the soul spoke, he still managed to keep that grin on his face.

"Silence." Queen Jaydes looked at her D-Men. "Did you do this to him?"

"No, we swear!" one protested. "He was like that before! You can ask Charlie!" Several other D-Men nodded in agreement.

"I see." Queen Jaydes looked over the soul. For some reason, he was vaguely familiar. Barely audible, she whispered to herself, "Who are you?" The soul, though, caught it.

"I?" He rose to his knees, his grin growing. "I am the pleaser of crowds, the master of dimensions…

"I am Dimentio, the Charming Magician."

With those words, Queen Jaydes felt her blood run cold. Ever her D-Men recoiled. Dimentio. They knew the name well. For centuries, he had destroyed every good thing he ever came in contact with. Not buildings and towns, no – he destroyed societies and lives, turning brother against brother and followers against leaders, all the while taking sadistic glee in the act.

"Dimentio." Queen Jaydes spat the name out. "Your sins were weighed long before you died. Your fate was sealed years ago." Dimentio looked at her, his grin beginning to look crooked (or was that only in her imagination?) and replied in the most mocking tone she had ever heard:

"I expected no less, my queen." Dimentio then began to laugh, an awful sound that sent chills up the spines of the D-Men. Queen Jaydes tried to drown the sound out as she chanted under her breath.

"Selfdestruct-selfdestruct-selfdestruct-selfdestruct-selfdestruct-" She could feel the magic building, the wary gazes of her D-Men upon her. This was her darkest spell, after all…

Opening her eyes and raising her arms, she cried, "DOWN BELOW!"

As the icy wind blew past and the black light flash, whisking away the evil soul, Queen Jaydes swore she heard his laughter still…

(--)

She was bored. After all, there really wasn't much to do in the Down Below.

The Shadow Queen sulked under the bright light that always hung overhead, her punishment in this fiery abyss. As far as she was concerned, there was no one interesting left to talk to. Bonechill had been okay, but then he had broken out. Since then, he had refused to stop whining about how close he had been to getting a Pure Heart (worthless in her eyes) and how he had been foiled by a man in green in such a cruel twist of fate. It was annoying, too annoying for her. Thus, she sulked.

She took a second to glance around. Bonechill was being roasted in eternal flames. An oversized prehistoric-looking Koopa was being torn apart by thorny vines. Some robotic creature was being frozen (she could hear his gears all the way from over there). A weird-looking jester was watching the chaos. A storm cloud creature was being electrocuted-

Her mind rewound. 'Jester?' She looked back. Yes, a jester. She was small, maybe the same size as the man who had sent her, the Shadow Queen, to this wretched place. She was badly wounded already, but her wounds didn't seem to bother her as she eagerly watched the torture. The Shadow Queen groaned as she trudged over to the jester. The jester saw her and laughed.

"Ah ha ha ha ha… what have we here? A former queen, wallowing in her own misery like an upside-down turtle? How amusing." The jester smirked. The Shadow Queen's first thought was, 'She's a HE?' The second was, 'He insulted me!'

"You'll join me soon enough." The Shadow Queen glanced over at the jester. "Why are you here anyways?" She gestured over at the other agonized souls – all immense monsters. "You're a shrimp."

"I had no idea size was such an important criterion for entering the Down Below." He glanced around once more. "Although, if we were discussing the magnitude of our deeds, YOU would be more like a shrimp next to an elephant."

"Are you saying you're more evil than I am?" She began laughing, a truly frightening sound. The jester only looked mildly vexed, though. "No wonder you're a jester!"

"So BOTH size and occupation are important here. So, I would have to be an enormous tyrant, is that right?"

"Just something more than what you are now!" She snickered. Somehow, the jester's mask darkened.

"Do you even know-"

"Silence!" A wall of flames erupted between the two and, without warning, the jester was trapped in a transparent box. The Shadow Queen watched a man approach – a very tall man with dark eyes and black hair. She gulped. Why was the ruler of the Down Below himself coming over to them?

With a wave of his hand, the fire vanished. The ruler stepped between the two and then addressed the jester.

"Dimentio, were you trying to incite a riot? In MY realm?"

"It crossed my mind." The jester, obviously Dimentio, smirked. The ruler frowned.

"Hmph. Now, Dimentio, as your eternal punishment, you must suffer the same destruction you forced upon so many others."

"How ironically appropriate." Dimentio looked unfazed by the news.

"Sir-" The Shadow Queen gritted her teeth (she hated calling the ruler 'sir'), "- what could that pipsqueak have done that YOU tell him his punishment?" The ruler eyed her coldly.

"He has ruined thousands of lives through deceit and murder. Then, as his final act, he tried to end trillions more by destroying all worlds." The ruler crossed his arms. The Shadow Queen gaped. Dimentio giggled. "Now, Dimentio, prepare for your punishment to begin."

"Hm." Dimentio stared at the Shadow Queen, a lunatic's grin spreading across his mask. The ruler raised a hand. The jester waved.

"Ciao!"

And the ruler snapped his fingers.

Even as the Shadow Queen fled, even as the explosions sounded off, she could still hear that awful mad laughter…