Don't own 'em. Not even a little.

[Panda signs]

Sound Effects

'Thinking'

"Radio talking"

"Computer Talk"

This was the day, Ranma thought. Today, all his preparations would come to fruition. Today he would show the world the true skill of Saotome Ranma! There would be challenges, he knew. There would be trials, troubles and tribulations. But today the world would know this:

Saotome Ranma doesn't lose!

Now, if only Kas-chan could find her purse, they could get this date started!

"Nya!"

"Oh, who asked you?"

"Sorry to keep you waiting!"

Ranma turned with a smile at Kasumi's excited call.

"No problem Kas-chaaaa…guh."

The cause of Ranma's uncharacteristic lapse into incomprehensibility was a blushing vision in a tasteful blue sundress, fine white sandals and a broad straw hat, nibbling her lower lip in charming appreciation of her fiancée's reaction.

"Ano…are you ready to go, Ranma-kun?"

"Mwaa…er, um, yeah, Kas-chan, I'm good. Let's go!"

Sliding the door open, the young man stifled a wince as the motion pulled at one of his most recent bruises.

"Are you sure you're alright, Ranma?" asked Kasumi concernedly as the pair exited the engawa.

"Yeah Kas-chan, I'm fine. Just a few bumps and bruises is all."

Taking in the slightly-less-so-but-still-concerned look being cast his way, he hastily continued.

"Honestly! There were only three crystal youma this time and the girls handled them fine! These are just from shrapnel when Mercury and Mars blew up the last one! Nothing, really!"

"Well, if you're sure…" murmured Kasumi.

"Ow ow ow! Stupid crystal youma, blowing up like a glass grenade. Stupid Silence Wall. Stupid ricochet."

Staggering back to the Tendo Dojo, the battered, bruised and more than somewhat irate Martial Artist was clearly not having a good night.

Tonight's battle with the forces of Glass had gone pretty well, on the whole. Where before the Crystal Youma had essentially stomped them (at least, prior to Mercury's little brainwave), this time a full three had been taken on and defeated. Not easily, by any means, and quite definitely not quietly (magical battles and crystal opponents do not a silent battle make), but they had been beaten, their bodies shattered and their cores crushed.

Granted, Usagi's bad habit of monologuing had once more reared its ugly head, requiring some firm words after the fight. And the other Senshi still had the unwelcome trend of defaulting back to ranged magical attacks instead of other more effective tactics.

And yes, the Crystal youma still had that aggravating tendency to explode when killed, spraying sharp, pointy and annoyingly-resistant-to-magical-healing shards into the posteriors of innocent Martial Artists-

'I see one of them again, I'm giving it the spanking!'

-Which hurt like a bitch...!

But it had gone pretty well.

'Really gonna have to work on Usagi's spatial awareness, though,' she thought as she turned onto the street for home. 'That speech-makin' habit's gotta go, too.'

Indeed, that would probably be the focus of the next training session, now that she thought of it. While it was heartening that Usagi had waited until her foe was disarmed (and –clawed, -legged and –antenna'd) before starting her speech, her lack of awareness of the rest of the fight had very nearly resulted in her messy dismemberment by the not-quite-as-broken-as-suspected third youma that had taken the opportunity to lunge at her back.

Ranma, the only one near enough with an un-obstructed line of fire, had launched a well-aimed ki-bolt that had reduced the youma to a pile of sandy glitter.

"Nyan!"

"Quiet, you!"

At least, that had been the plan. In reality, there had been yet another confluence of odd coincidences, resulting in a terrified alley cat, startled by the noise and bright lights, madly seeking shelter, comfort or (in a pinch) a decoy by affixing itself to Ranma's chest at the very moment gnosis was achieved.

The effects of the spell-that-was and the spell-that-might-have-been were rather similar either way, at least from the youma's perspective. The "shredded to glittering dust" part simply took minutes rather than milliseconds. And rather than a pulse of destructive, will-empowered ki doing the shredding...

'A blue and white transparent tiger made of solid lightning tearing apart a giant crystal crab-thing. Only in Tokyo…'

The fight being deemed quite definitively over with the slaying of the crystalline cat-toy, the station wagon-sized lightning tiger had abruptly shrunk to the size of a kitten, looked around with a wide-eyed gaze of feline wonder and gave voice to an enquiring "Mew?".

What followed had been, in Ranma's humble opinion, the fastest shift between 'Apprehensive Awe' and 'Glomp Snuggle Squee!' in recorded history.

Ranma would have found the Senshi's reaction rather more amusing, all things considered, had the diminutive kinda-cat not panicked at the adoring lunge and bolted onto her, Ranma's, shoulder.

When the expected surge of blinding terror and lapse into feline atavism had failed to come after one or two minutes of frozen, resigned anticipation, Ranma had been suspicious. When she had cracked an eyelid and cast a trembling glance at the small form gazing curiously at her from her left shoulder (while keeping a wary eye on the nervous Senshi) only to feel not fear but an odd sense of familiarity, those suspicions had grown.

And on the walk home, having sent the tired but triumphant Senshi on their way (with a tentative explanation and a promise of more information and an opportunity to "play with the lightning kitty" at the next meeting), as she mentally reviewed all she could recall concerning the different applications of gnosis, those suspicions grew into a certainty.

Sliding open the door, she deftly slid her shoes into the appropriate nook with a call of "Tadaima!"

"Welcome home, Ranma-chan! I saved you some- Oh!" Kasumi cut off, staring in wary curiosity at Ranma's transparent passenger.

"Hey, Kas-chan." sighed the redhead in resignation. "I'd like you to meet the Neko-ken."

The being mentioned, with a cat's innate sense of timing, pricked its ears up, fluffed its whiskers and made a cheery-sounding "Nya!"

Ranma was privately convinced that the delighted squeal that Kasumi loosed was still bouncing around the house somewhere. What followed was a very close repeat of the Senshi's reactions as the remaining Tendo sisters (summoned by the squeal and, perhaps, some manner of 'Kawaii Sense') and his mother lavished affection on the nervous (but on the whole, quite willing to accept it) lightning cat.

"…Yeah, I think you have a point, Kas-chan. I'll be more careful in future, ok?"

"Somehow, I doubt that, Ran-kun," smirked Kasumi teasingly. "Still, I'll be happier if you start coming home with fewer injuries, alright?" She sighed, continuing in a quieter voice. "I know you can keep yourself safe, but…I worry."

"…I can do that," replied Ranma, gently taking Kasumi's hand. "I'll come home ok, Kas-chan. I promise."

"Nya!" added Torako (as the Neko-ken had been dubbed during the Tendo/Saotome Snuggle-Session the previous night), nodding firmly.

"Quiet, you! And get off my head, will ya?"

"Oh be nice Ranma-kun!" chided Kasumi gently as she gathered the crackily-purring kinda-cat into her arms. "She just wants to be included, that's all."

How Kasumi could gauge the not only the mood but also the gender of a semi-independent construct of his own subconscious mind was beyond him. That said, Kasumi's accuracy rate was starting to get a little unnerving.

'I can't be that easy to read, can I?'

Shrugging it off, he took Kasumi's hand more firmly in his as the two young lovers set off toward the train station.

Neither one noticed the trio of figures cautiously following them.

The previous day:

Nabiki strode back and forth before the seated figures of Shampoo and Ukyo, hands clasped behind her back and staring into the middle distance.

"So," she said. "You both know why you're here-"

"No," replied Shampoo snippily. "Future Sister-in-law just call Ukyo-sister and Shampoo into room talking about date. Not think Mercenary Girl want threesome, so what going on?"

"Oh, I dunno," quipped Ukyo teasingly. "She was awful curious about the Slippery Monkey Manoeuvre, after all. Maybe she's after a demonstration."

"Will you let that go?" snarled Nabiki at the furiously giggling pair, bravely attempting to force back an embarrassed flush. "Yes, yes, silly ol' Nabiki, mixing up obscure martial arts moves with kinky sex positions, ha ha ha. Can we get back on topic, please?"

Deciding to take mercy on the fuming teen (though mentally filing the subject under "Teasing potential" for later), the two settled down obediently.

"Ok, thank you." Nabiki cleared her throat before continuing. "As you know, Ranma-kun and Kasumi-oneechan are going on a date tomorrow, their first all-day, romantic-type date. He has planned it well and intends for everything to go perfectly in order to make sure big sis has a good time.

"Now, keeping in mind that this is Ranma-kun we're talking about here, what do you think will actually happen?"

"Is easy guess," responded Shampoo instantly. "Challenger, stupid prince, monsters-"

"-Ridiculous martial art styles, new fiancées, the Kuno idiots-" continued Ukyo, nodding sagely.

"-enemies, rivals, aliens, that's right." Finished Nabiki. "It's Ranma. These things just happen with him, right?

"Well, not this time!" she yelled suddenly, the other two girls jerking slightly at the sudden jump in volume. "That kind of stuff happening to Ranma is normal, sometimes even kind of funny. But not when they might ruin Kasumi-oneechan's date and make her unhappy! I am not going to let that happen! Are you with me?"

Ukyo and Shampoo shared a glance, nodded and placed a hand each on the one Nabiki held outstretched.

"Big sister-in-law too, too nice. Not deserve crazy stuff on date. Shampoo help!"

"Count me in too, Sugar," grinned the young chef. "Anyone messed with my big brother's date, well…"

"They become Obstacle to Big Brother and Sister happiness. And Obstacle-"

"-Is for beating!" concluded both 'little sisters' in unison, earning a cocked eyebrow from the slightly bemused Nabiki.

'It's a little scary how in-tune those two are getting.'

With a mental shrug, the (arguably) finest strategist in Nerima and her two co-conspirators settled down to plan.

"S. Status report."

"Not understand why need stupid code-names."

"Yeah, it's not like no-one's gonna know who we are, Nabiki."

"It's a tradition, alright? So just call me 'N' and Ukyo 'U', ok?"

"No. Shampoo feel stupid." Grumbled 'S' in a sulky tone.

"Better just go with it, Sugar," sighed 'U' over the sound of grinding teeth (somehow transmitting quite clearly over the headset radios the three were wearing). "She did take back the trench coats and fedoras, after all."

"…'N' like playing Secret Agent too much when child, 'S' think."

"Look, just tell me what they're doing!"cut in N over the radio-transmitted snickering.

"N get new nickname after this. 'Spy Girl' fit better than 'Mercenary', S think."

"Listen, you-!"

"Lovebirds are passing through the market district toward the train station," cut in U, striking through the most-likely vehement tirade before it began. "No threats so fa- Wait, Kuno Two approaching from the North. Moving to intercept."

"S see stupid cute-crazy girl to west, lost boy to south."

"S, distract Shiratori. I'll deal with Ryoga. Remember, keep it out of sight!"

"Yokai!"

"Spy Girl so owe Shampoo for this…"

"Will we be on time for the train, Ran-kun?"

"Yeah, no problem," smiled Ranma, taking a quick glance at the sun. "We can take the 10:30 and get there in time, but I thought you might like to do some shopping first."

Judging by the glint that suddenly sparkled in the gentle girl's eyes, this guess had been on the money.

"Gabrielle! Come back to Azusa!"

Ranma stiffened at the shrill tones of Nerima's resident kleptomaniac, instinctively stuffing a protesting Torako down the front of his shirt, before heaving a sigh of relief as the cry dopplered into the distance. Offering a brief prayer to whatever poor creature had been unfortunate enough to catch the demented skater's eye this time, the young martial artist put the matter from his mind, absently patted a now shivering Torako and joined Kasumi in perusing the window displays.

"Nyaa!"

"Gabrielle! Come back to Azusa!"

"Shampoo, I'm ready now! Break right!"

The events that followed took place in very quick succession. For the edification of the Reader, however, they have been slowed down.

Shampoo-neko, silently thanking every deity in heaven for variable-form radio headsets, did as instructed and bounded around a corner, onto the shoulder of a somewhat-surprised Kuno Tatewaki and into the arms of a wickedly grinning Ukyo. Said young cook delivered a smart right with the handle of her ever-present battle spatula that spun the crazed kendoist around to collide painfully with a ballistic kawaiiko who gave a squawk of outrage and a dainty but respectable right cross in return, just before the two careened into the alley wall and unconsciousness.

Absently stroking a now smug and purring Shampoo-neko, Ukyo walked briskly to the agreed-upon meeting point by way of the location of Shampoo's discarded clothes.

"Nice work, Little Sis," chuckled the shinobi-chef (feeling a little like a Bond villain, come to think of it). "You're pretty fast in that form, huh?"

"Nya! Nya mew, nyan!"

"Yeah, we'll just leave 'em there. Ain't like they'll come to any real harm in Nerima, after all."

"Nya."

"You do realise you're talking with a cat, right?" smirked Nabiki, pocketing a tidy bundle of Yen. "Traditionally, that's the kind of behaviour of women a little older than you, but whatever floats your boat, I suppose."

"So, that's Shiratori dealt with," replied Ukyo, ignoring the good-natured jibe even as Shampoo favoured Nabiki with a slight hiss of disdain. "Kuno's a happy extra, even. What happened with Ryoga?"

"I've really gotta thank Ranma-kun for making peace with the big lug," she smiled as Shampoo-neko hopped from Ukyo's arms to the pile of (somehow) neatly folded clothes. "He's usually a lot harder to convince to go somewhere else. Not this time, though. I gave him directions home, collected a small fee and that's that!"

"Shampoo think future Sister-in-Law get easy one," grumbled Shampoo, hastily dressing as Ukyo returned the thermos to her pack. "Shampoo get chase, Ukyo-sister get speeched at by Stupid Stick-boy, future Sister-in-Law get paid. Not fair!"

"Ok, ok," placated the young strategist. "You can have the next easy one, ok? Now let's go, they should be nearly to the station by now."

"It's a little scary how well you can predict their movements, 'N'." observed Ukyo as the three moved off.

"Is true. 'S' think Secret Agent Girl need hobby."

"…Shut up."

"Are you sure you didn't want to buy anything, Kas-chan?"

"Honestly Ran-kun, I'm fine," laughed Kasumi, the train's motion causing her ponytail to sway. "I am quite happy with window shopping, especially this early in the day. Besides, the shops will probably still be here when we get back."

Lest the Gentle Reader imagine Kasumi to be being sarcastic, they are reminded that she is referring to Nerima. The continuing existence of any average building in said district is by no means a given, Martial Zones notwithstanding.

"So," continued the young woman brightly, "Where are we going next, Ran-kun?"

Three sets of ears pricked intently.

"Well, I thought Ueno Park would be nice. Stroll around a bit, maybe look in the museum and art gallery. Is that ok with you?"

'Ranma wants to visit a museum?' wondered the eavesdropping Nabiki in surprise.

'Ran-chan wants to visit an art gallery?' Thought Ukyo, absently twisting a groper's wrist through rather more directions than it was intended for.

'Big Brother know where find art gallery?' gaped Shampoo, ignoring the quiet whimpers of the overly-fresh office worker now supine on the floor behind her in a foetal position of pain.

"Well, aren't you just full of surprises today?" giggled Kasumi (prompting a "Nya" of agreement from the somehow-unnoticed-by-ticket-inspectors Torako, now occupying Kasumi's lap and looking quite pleased with the situation), unknowingly summing up the thoughts of all three unseen bodyguards.

"Uh, well, if you don't wanna, we can-" stammered Ranma before being gently cut off with a smile.

"That sounds lovely, Ran-kun. I've wanted to see the museum for a while now myself, so I'd be happy to go."

"Oh, good. I'm glad. I mean, if you wanna do something else that's fine, I mean-"

Once more, Kasumi cut through the babbling (cute though it was!) with a smile and a light touch on his shoulder.

"Ran-kun, relax. I know you're nervous. I am too. But that's fine. I don't want you putting yourself out in an effort to please me, alright? Dates are for two people, after all!"

Ranma blinked for a moment before relaxing into a smile.

"Got it Kas-chan. Thanks."

The three listeners sighed. So romantic!

Of course, the fact that their distracted state had them nearly missing their stop was rather less so.

Art galleries and museums are generally well staffed and equipped with security measures, depending of course on the contents. The Louvre, the Guggenheim or, for that matter, the Australian National Gallery, with their rare works, precious items and coveted collections, will naturally demand and receive a higher degree of security measures than, say, the Holden Automobile Museum in Echuca, Victoria. One may boast alarms, guards, bullet-proof glass and laser detection grids (somehow easily circumvented by a series of backflips, but enough of that) while the other has a burglar alarm and Nigel the caretaker.

The common theme, however, is that the security measures, great or small, are for the protection of the contents. Rarely, if ever, has the situation been otherwise.

Needless to say, this was a day for bucking the trends.

"How're we looking, S?"

"All clear. Big Brother and Sister in Law go to east wing."

"Ok, that's the painting section. U, do you see them?"

"Yeah," responded Ukyo, "Nothing unusu- Wait! Oh hell, code H!"

Code H. The three stalker's agreed-upon term for the very highest state of peril.

'Happosai in the vicinity.'

Not that any of them really believed Happosai would dare to grope Kasumi (even his legendary lechery feared the Frown), but they wouldn't put it past the diminutive Grandmaster of Anything Goes to orchestrate some manner of chaos simply to mess with his unofficial heir.

"S, U, ready the distraction measures. Prepare to engage and lure him away."

"Hai/Hai!"

"He's approaching the Lovebirds now. No threatening moves."

That was odd. Given the wide range of motions that could be considered threatening to a Neremite (up to and including juggling beanbags), for Happosai not to be making any was quite out of character.

"Wait, hold position. Somehow, I think this is a gamble we should risk. U, what's going on?"

"He's making contact…"

Ranma's hackles rose as a scratchy voice made its all-too-familiar presence known.

"Well, well. Never thought I'd see you in an art gallery, Ranma m'boy. And in such delightful and," he cast a curious look at the slightly transparent spirit cat, "unusual company."

"Ara! Hello grandfather!" replied Kasumi as Ranma struggled to stifle his instinctive fight or flight reaction to the voice. "Long time no see."

Happosai smirked a little.

"Nerima was getting a little stifling, so I thought I'd take a little holiday to bring some life back to my poor aching bones. It figures all manner of interesting stuff would happen the moment I leave," he ended with a chuckle.

Looking sharply at the two, the ancient fighter's eyes softened and his smile grew a touch more gentle.

"That said, well done, the both of you. About time you two wised up."

The pair looked at each other, blinked, blushed and glanced back away, to the silent amusement of the ancient one and the quiet cooing of the three self-assigned yojimbo.

"So, uh," Ranma coughed slightly, flustered. "Whaddaya doin' here, old letch- uh, Grandfather?" he corrected himself as Kasumi gently dug an elbow into his ribs.

"It's an art gallery, Ranma m'boy. I'm here for the art, of course!" replied Happosai in a lofty tone.

"…the Nudes exhibition, huh?" deadpanned Ranma after a moment.

"Ah, that Reubens," sighed Happosai happily. "A true master of the female form!"

Shaking himself out of his curve-induced euphoria, the shrunken master produced a pocket watch from somewhere, squinted at it for a moment and nodded to himself.

"Well, I'll leave you two lovebirds in peace and see you back at the dojo. Prepare yourself, Ranma!" he chuckled darkly for a moment. "You and I are going to have a little talk later about furthering your training. Bye!"

Gazing after the legendary lecher, the pigtailed martial artist in question sighed.

"Great. Now that's going to be worrying me for the rest of the day."

Turning back to the exhibits as Kasumi hid a giggle at his peeved expression, he missed the considering look being cast his way by the not-quite-gone-yet head of his school.

"Interesting. Very interesting…"

Silence was all that crossed the radio link for a few moments.

"That…that weird. Old Pervert not cause problem. That weird, right?"

Ukyo nodded. "Yeah. I would've expected something. A fight, maybe taunting or something. Not conversation. What gives?"

"Don't count your blessings, ladies. Odd as it is for the pervert not to cause trouble, it's still trouble avoided. Now, back on the job."

"Spy Girl right, Shampoo suppo- Ayah!"

"Shampoo, what happ- Kyaa!"

"Sweeto!"

"Spoke too soon…" groaned Nabiki as the sounds of feminine outrage and mayhem drifted over the headsets.

"Those sculptures were beautiful."

"Eh," responded Ranma. "Some of 'em were good, but that one, the stack of cinder blocks with the wire around it? How's that art?"

"Well yes, I thought that one was rather obscure myself," said Kasumi as the couple strolled happily around Ueno Park. "But the one made of welded steel, um, 'Firebird'-"

"Oh yeah, that was good. Though, I dunno if I'd pay two hundred thousand yen for it."

"Nya!" noted Ranma's semi-detached figment knowingly.

Kasumi giggled at the thoughtful look now adorning her beloved's (Squee!) face. Her Ranma was many things, she mused; Martial Artist, defender of the weak, magician and trainer of super-heroes. What he was clearly NOT, however, was an art critic.

Although, with all the oddball styles he had experienced and learned, 'Martial Arts Art Analysis' wasn't all that unlikely…

Shaking off her reverie as her ever-hungry beau spotted a takoyaki stall, the gentle girl sat down on a nearby bench to wait. Watching her fiancée negotiating with the proprietor, she sighed happily.

A trouble-free outing. Such a wonderful, rare pleasure!

Just out of earshot, rather different sentiments were being expressed. Ukyo and Shampoo stood shoulder to shoulder, glaring down a pair of young women who, Shampoo thought, looked more than a little like her final opponent on the challenge log the day she had met her new big brother/little sister. It was a little uncanny, really.

"What muscle-girls want with Big Brother?"

"Stand aside, little girls," growled the one on the right in a surprisingly melodic voice for someone her size. "This is a family matter between us, the daughters of the Kirishima Clan and Saotome Ranma."

"For dishonouring the marriage agreement between our families, he must face our vengeance!" added the hulking girl on the left, her expression of righteous judgement wavering slightly as Shampoo sighed and handed a grinning Ukyo a handful of yen.

"Shampoo sure this be Stupid Panda skipping on bill!"

"Tough luck, sugar. Anyway," the Osakan's face once more became businesslike. "As Saotome Ranma's little sisters, we challenge you. When we win, you will abandon vengeance on Ranma and take the matter up with Genma instead."

Shampoo nodded. "Trouble start with Stupid Panda, it end with Stupid Panda!"

"Only if you defeat us right here and now will we permit you to challenge Ranma," finished Ukyo. "Agreed?"

The muscular sisters blinked, glanced at each other, looked back at the pair (apparently calculating relative mass and muscle density and grinned.

"Deal!" they shouted as one, even as they leaped to the attack.

"Amusing, isn't it?" came a voice from behind as Nabiki watched the fight with a confident smirk. Turning, she took in the sight of the young man who had spoken.

'My goodness,' she thought incredulously. 'It's Evil Shinji.'

And indeed, the young man did resemble a hypothetical evil clone of the Evangelion character. Wiry frame, pale, vaguely unhealthy skin-tone, tousled hair, all clad in the basic button-shirt and slacks that made up the character's signature look. In face, were it not for the confident (almost arrogant) body language and cocky smirk (and the pencil-thin goatee), Nabiki would have thought the boy nothing more than an extremely dedicated cosplayer.

That smirk, though, pushed the assessment out of cosplay territory and into 'rejected Batman villain', in Nabiki's opinion.

"Excuse me?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"It's amusing, I said," replied 'Shinji', gesturing toward the fight. "All that grunting and sweating in an effort to claim superiority. So inelegant."

Nabiki looked over to where Shampoo was flowing around concrete-cracking punches in perfect counterpoint to Ukyo (using the opportunities thus provided to flick combat-spatulas at whatever target presented itself), the two Wrecking Crew members moving together like a dance.

"Inelegant, huh?"

The young man nodded.

"Yes," he sighed. "No style at all. No subtlety or sophistication. You know," he said, leaning closer as though sharing a confidence, "I had thought about challenging one of them. Seeing that little display, however, I'm not sure they'd appreciate my Art, much less offer me a real challenge."

"…Dare I ask what this 'Art' involves?" asked Nabiki, her tone sardonic.

"'Martial Arts Psyching Out'," the evil Eva-esque figure smirked. "Combat on a cerebral level through destroying the opponent's will to fight."

"Sounds interesting," noted Nabiki casually. "Any restrictions?"

A snort of laughter was her response.

"Only that there's no physical contact. Other than that, it's anything goes."

"…Well then," grinned the middle Tendo, turning to face the young man for the first time, a wicked light glinting in her eyes. "May I know your name?"

"Kurokokuro Jiro. Why do you ask?"

"Mine's Tendo Nabiki," the bob-cut girl replied. "I always like to know the names of challengers." She smirked once more. "It makes it easier to send them the bills when they lose. Shampoo! Ukyo! I've got this guy!"

"Ha- Ugh! Hai!"

"Dammit, no! I am not sharing my food with a figment of my own imagination!"

"Nyaaan!"

"I am not stingy! You're a spirit-cat, how do you expect to eat it, anyway?"

"I wonder what's going on back there?" mused Kasumi, looking over her shoulder (and away from the Feline Food Feud now taking place in front of her. Claws were involved). "There's an awful lot of noise all of a sudden."

"Eh, probably some performers or something," Ranma replied with a shrug.

"It must be a very popular act," the saintly girl noted. "Just look at the crowds."

About to suggest perhaps taking a look, the young man was diverted by a cry of "Ranma-sensei!"

"Oh, hey Usagi!" replied Ranma as the happy blond frisked toward the couple, dragging a much taller and somewhat older-looking man with her, the man in question accepting the slight indignity withy a tolerant smile.

"Mamo-chan, this is my teacher I told you about, Saotome Ranma-sensei, and his fiancée Tendo Kasumi-sama. Ranma-sensei, Kasumi-sama, this is my boyfriend Chiba Mamoru."

"Yo!" greeted Ranma with a grin and a nod (Kasumi bowing while stifling a fond sigh at her love's lingering social difficulties). "Usagi's told me a lot about you. Anytime you feel like some training, come on by."

Of all the possible reactions Ranma might have expected to his offer, the look of cold disdain offered him was not the first to leap to mind.

"Thanks for the offer, Saotome-san, but I think I'll pass."

'The hell's his problem?'

"You- !"

Stop.

Blinking at the mental compulsion (and the quite physical elbow pressing into unobtrusively into his ribs, courtesy of his girlfriend, fiancée and (apparently) conscience), Ranma stifled his irate response and simply cast a reassuring look at the confused Usagi as the blond followed after her departing boyfriend.

Sighing, the youthful martial artist gave a grateful look to his fiancée.

"Thanks Kas-chan. Probably would have said something really dumb there."

"That's what I'm here for, Ran-kun," was the teasing reply. "I wonder what could have made that young man react like that, though?" she mused, placing a finger to her chin thoughtfully. "Have you met him before?"

Running through a mental list ("Rivals, Enemies and People Oyaji Ripped Off. Doc") and coming up blank after a few moments, he shook his head.

"Nope, don't think I've ever seen him before. Seems a bit different to how Usagi described him, though. Oh well," he sighed. "I guess we're just on the wrong wavelength or something. Anyway," he shook off his thoughtful mood, standing again. "Wanna check out the performance now?"

"Oh yes, lets!" smiled Kasumi before subsiding slightly. "Oh dear, it looks like it's over. All the people are leaving."

"Ah well," Ranma sighed, taking Kasumi's arm comfortingly. "Maybe there'll be another one later. In the meantime, wanna check out the lake?"

The smile the taller girl favoured him with was answer enough as the couple strolled off.

"What on earth was that about?" snapped Usagi as she caught up with Mamoru's much longer strides.

"What was what about?" replied the much taller man, his tone noticeably flat.

"That!" exclaimed the bun-headed bunny. "You were so rude! Ranma-sensei is a friend, and you just…just…" she trailed off, staring up at him in upset bewilderment.

'Why did I react like that?' he wondered for a moment, twitching his collar up against a sudden feeling of chill. 'There's something about him I don't like. Almost like…' an image flickered in his mind's eye, there for less than a heartbeat. Toppled towers, shards, burning cold-

"Mamo-chan!"

His introspection was interrupted by the stern, worried, yet still somehow cute gaze of his girlfriend as she took his hand anxiously. Introspection didn't stand a chance.

"Heh, sorry Usako," he sighed, chill expression melting back into his usual look of affability. "There was just something about that guy that rubbed me the wrong way, that's all. I'll apologise to him next time I see him, ok?"

"You promise?" asked the blond, worry still evident on her face.

"Yes, Usako, I promise. Now," he grinned, tone light and bantering once again, "I think I saw an ice-cream stand up ahead…"

"Ice cream!"

Mamoru smiled as his young love bounced off in search of sweet frozen yumminess. As he strolled onward, though, he felt the chill still in his bones, the sound of dead, frozen wind a sighing in his ears.

The sudden thud heralded the return of a body to terra firma, much to the satisfaction and sympathy of most of the onlookers.

"So!" chirped Shampoo cheerily as she ostentatiously dusted off her hands. "Muscle Girls give up challenge Big Brother now, yes?"

"We…agree…" groaned the recumbent young woman, currently pinned under her disoriented and somewhat heavy, now she came to think of it, sister.

"We acknowledge your right of acceptance as sisters of Saotome Ranma."

"Mafuggle ga wahoonie," nodded her sister in sober agreement.

"Just remember," added Ukyo (having shared a disquieted glance with Shampoo at the young woman's glossolalia), "nine times outta ten, any problem involving Ranma is really Genma's fault, so take it up with him first. Otherwise, ya gotta go through us again. Got it?"

The face of the burly girl, formerly more than a little downcast at her and her sister's defeat, firmed abruptly.

"Yes. Yes! You're right! We must go into training for our next meeting! Come on, Sister!"

"Fadoggle?"

"Until next time, Sisters of Ranma!"

Shampoo and Ukyo watched in bemusement as the muscular young lady gently slung her still faintly gibbering sister over her shoulder in a fireman's carry and jogged away with a strange glint in her eye.

"…What just happened?"

"Shampoo have bad feeling about this."

"What's that?"

"Shampoo think we just get Eternal Rivals."

Ukyo paled, them clapped a hand over her face with a heartfelt sigh.

"Great. And they looked like the serious, persistent type, too, huh?"

Shampoo's face held every bit as much resignation as Ukyo's.

"Is so. At least not look like embarrassing-type rival, like Ukyo-sister and stupid Takoyaki-boy."

The depressed Osakan accepted the verbal offering with a slight smile.

"Well, it's done now. Let's catch up to…Nabiki…"

Looking up as her sister-in-law trailed off, Shampoo joined her in staring incredulously at the sight that met their eyes.

It was, in theory, a fairly standard set-up for a challenge. A bunch of people gathered around an empty space (this one about six meters across), within which two people, or some multiple thereof, contended.

In practice, though, there were several key differences, mainly centred on the combatants themselves. For one thing, their build. Ukyo would be the first to admit that looks could be and often were deceiving in the Art, but while Nabiki's athletic frame might ('might' being the operative word) be indicative of a martial artist, the lanky, scrawny, made-of-knees-and-elbows form of the boy facing her would most definitely not.

That said, the second of the differences made the first rather moot, that being the fact that neither of the challengers appeared to be fighting at all.

Rather, the proceedings looked to be nothing so much as a grossly over-publicised stare-out, the two combatants basically holding each other with a fixed gaze, 'Shinji' contorting face and body into anatomically challenging (and more than somewhat disturbing) poses, Nabiki responding with either a look of indulgent boredom or her infamous sardonic smirk.

Ukyo had a definite sense that combat was somehow being done here, but could not for the life of her figure how.

"Shampoo think this fight, but not sure where fight is."

Ah, good. She wasn't alone in her confusion.

"It's Martial Arts Cerebral Combat," explained a young woman standing nearby, watching the proceedings with great interest. "More casually known as Martial Arts Psych-Out. Combat fought through posture, psychology and body language."

"…Sister-in-law and weird Eva-pilot boy just stare at each other, though," protested Shampoo.

"No, no, look closer," urged the girl. "They're both working to put the other off. Kurokokoro-san uses those off faces and motions to shock his opponents or put them off-balance by making them uncomfortable, the ultimate goal being to make them look away."

Casting a look at Shampoo and receiving a shrug in response, Ukyo took in the 'fight' for a moment before speaking.

"I'm guessing this Kurokokoro guy's good then?"

"Oh yes, he's the best!" squealed the now visibly-twinkling girl. "He's never been beaten at a Psych-Out."

"Why Eva-boy sweating, then?" queried Shampoo to the swiftly-paling fangirl, gesturing to the fight. And indeed, the young man's forehead had sprung a visible sheen of perspiration. Shampoo and Ukyo, both skilled at reading muscle-tension, detected a slight quiver of nerves in his motions as well.

"H-how? How could she get the better of Kurokokoro-san so easily?"

Ukyo's brow furrowed in concentration for a moment before clearing as she grinned.

"Different styles, sugar. Nabiki's taking advantage of his style's weakness, is all."

"What weakness?"

"Ah! Shampoo see now!" exclaimed the lilac-haired Amazon. "Is styles, true! Eva-boy like Karate, all sharp, fast, loud. Have weakness to soft style, right?"

"Right," nodded Ukyo. "Nabiki's playing the long game, which is why she's winning. I'll bet your guy's used to people freaking out over the motions and faces. Nabiki isn't, though, and that's sapping his confidence."

"Add in Sister-in-law's 'You too, too dumb and I own you' smirk…" Shampoo grinned.

"I figure it'll be done in about thirty seconds at mo-"

"Gah! Stop grinning like that, dammit!"

"-st."

Leaving the fangirl to gape, the two sorta-siblings the very smug looking Nabiki with matching grins.

"Nabiki no longer needs her blackmail."

Shampoo nodded.

"Can cause freak-out with just a look."

"How can this be?" gawked the defeated foe.

"Right!" smirked the victorious Tendo, ignoring the sobbing figure of her challenger as she turned to her comrades. "Ranma's plan had them going to the lake next. I think we can all understand the risks inherent in that?"

The two martial maidens nodded. Water, open spaces, limited manoeuvrability, Ranma and a very innocent bystander equalled a myriad potential date-destroyers.

"Good," smirked Nabiki in satisfaction. "Let's be off then. S, you're on lookout. U, with me in one of the rental boats…"

"Rassum frassum…"

"Oh come now, Ranma-chan," chided Kasumi teasingly. "It was your idea to come to the lake, after all"

"Yeah, I know, I know," sighed Ranma. "It's just, I wanted this to be a proper date, you know?"

Kasumi cast the petite redhead a questioning look from her position at the stern of the rented rowboat.

"What do you mean, Ranma-kun? I thought you were getting more comfortable with your curse."

Ranma sighed and racked the oars.

"I am! Kinda. I mean, it's not that I hate the curse anymore, and I know I've been out with you a few times as Ranko and all, but it's just…"

"Mm? It's just what, Ranma?"

"It's just…" she flushed and looked down at her hands. "…I wanted this to be a proper date, not just an 'out with friends' date," the small redhead mumbled.

"…and you think I'll only want to have a 'friendly outing' with you like this?" asked Kasumi carefully.

'So that's what this is all about.'

A blushing Ranma-chan nodded jerkily, still staring at her hands.

"Ranma," said the eldest Tendo sister gently. "Look at me, please."

Shakily raising her gaze to her fiancée's face, the part-time girl's eyes widened at the look of fond acceptance that beamed back at her.

"Ranma," she said, a tone of warm reassurance in her voice. "I want to make something clear, because I think you have the wrong impression. When I agreed to be your fiancée, I agreed to be your fiancée, boy or girl form alike. While I don't think I'm mentally prepared to k-kiss you in girl-form yet," Kasumi blushed, an action mimicked by the smaller girl, "I see no reason we cannot have a 'romantic type' date in either or both of your forms." Her voice as she finished the small speech held such a tone of loving sincerity that for several moments all Ranma could do was gape.

"Y-you really mean that, Kasumi?" she stammered, fighting off a prickle of tears.

"Of course I do! You, Ranma, are the same person at base, regardless of the form, and it is that person who I fell in love with. Besides," she smirked teasingly, "having a fiancée I can borrow clothes from is a wonderful perk!"

"Kasumi…you…" Ranma struggled to speak through the lump in her throat. The dam broke as Kasumi drew the smaller girl into a loving hug, murmuring soothingly as the happy tears flowed.

Several minutes passed before the tears slowed and stopped, the occasional hiccup the only sound breaking the comfortable silence.

"…thank you…" came the almost inaudible whisper from the smaller girl, snuggled quite comfortably against the taller.

"What for, Ran-kun?"

"For that," Ranma replied, speech patterns reverting under the emotional force. "F'r accepting me. F'r not thinkin' I'm a freak 'cause of the curse. None o' the others could do that in the end. So, thank you."

Drawing her fiancée closer as she glowed from the emotions expressed, Kasumi rested her cheek on the petite girl's hair, smiling happily.

"Ranma is Ranma, and that's all there is to it, as far as I'm concerned," she stated firmly, gaining a happy sigh from the individual concerned. The loving couple, reassurance delivered and emotional tempests calmed, settled into a tender silence to the soothing rocking of the boat.

'Today is really going well,' they thought.

"Okonomiyaki Barrage!"

"Dance of Face Crushings!"

Nabiki watched the fracas between her associates and the squadron of honest-to-Kami Elizabethan naval marines with a disturbingly bulging vein in her forehead.

Ok, yeah, Ranma attracted oddities. She could deal with that. Weird challengers, monsters, relatives, all fine.

Princes here to kidnap a bride? Ok.

Magical sea-vessels? Fine.

Lost colonies of British sailors somehow teleporting a thirty-gun blue-water schooner into an inner-city Tokyo lake with the intention of abducting girl-type Ranma through the use of 'Comic Opera Close-Quarters Combat'?

That was pushing it!

Nabiki's eyebrow began twitching alarmingly as she watched Ukyo get sent flying by a five-part 'Hornpipe Hammer-Kick', only to roll to her feet and leap back into the fray with a snarl.

'This is weird even by Nerima's standards,' she thought as Shampoo sent a formation of marines flying like tenpins. 'Ok,' she sighed mentally, 'the last of the minions have fallen…now. Expect the boss in three, two, one-'

"Hoho, my lady! Your companions have proven most formidable! But know now that you face the boundless might of Admiral Francis Nelson, Monarch of the Seas!"

Nabiki blinked, momentarily off-balance. Not at the word choice (any more than one run-in with either Kuno would desensitise a person to that, after all), but at the plummy British accent that somehow managed to make it through the fact that the Tricorn-wearing lunatic was speaking fairly fluent Japanese.

Oh well, try to make the best of things…

"…ooookay. Admiral Nelson, was it? I think we need to have a little…parley…"

The cunning young woman hid her smile at the Admiral's blink of surprise.

Johnny Depp- not just pretty: also educational!

"Today getting too, too annoying," grumbled Shampoo as she patted her lilac tresses back into place.

"You said it!" growled Ukyo, covered in sooty smudges and looking distinctly singed around the edges. "I mean, I get that princes capturing brides is enough of a growth industry that they almost need a union, but that was pushing it!"

"Where in hell stupid Captain-prince meet Little Sister, anyway?"

"Who knows?" breezed Nabiki. "Still, though," she smirked, bouncing a heavy canvas purse with a musical jingle, "you can't say it wasn't profitable."

The other two calmed slightly at that. While Shampoo and Ukyo had occupied the surprisingly-resistant-to-blunt-force-trauma crew of the ship, Nabiki had conducted her 'parley' with the Captain. No-one but they knew exactly what was discussed up there at the helm, but the final score of the entire to-do amounted to an impressive assortment of injuries to the crew, a lightly charred Ukyo (who had proceeded to force-feed the flintlock pistol responsible to its owner while explaining in very clear terms why firearms around open powder kegs were a very bad idea), a severely ruffled Shampoo ("Stupid sailors too, too grabby. Shampoo break many thumbs!"), a captain reduced to a state of uncontrollable trembling and a neat twenty doubloons for each of the trio as "recompense for inconveniences".

"Shampoo still annoyed," grumbled the young Amazon. "Fight with stupid sailors make Shampoo miss what Little Sister and Sister-in-Law talk about! Shampoo bet was too, too romantic!"

"Anyway," interjected Nabiki over Ukyo's enthusiastic agreement, "If they stay true to Ranma's planned itinerary they'll head to the zoo next. The most likely threats there will be an animal escape, then the usual crazies. I think it would be best to have two of us shadowing Ranma and Kasumi with the third acting as a scout. Sound ok?"

The two martial artists shared a glance.

"Yeah, that sounds ok," replied Ukyo. "I'll be the scout, then. No offence Shampoo-chan, it's just that your hair kinda stands out."

"Is ok," replied Shampoo cheerily. "Shampoo figure that. Will stay with Middle Sister-in-Law, guard Big Brother's back. Shampoo like zoo!" she giggled suddenly. "Will be nice to look at wild animal and not have to fight!"

'…martial artists…' thought Nabiki ruefully as the trio followed their charges.

Ranma knew a lot about hidden depths. Almost everyone he knew had some aspect about themselves they avoided showing the world around them, be it by choice, necessity or circumstance. Hell, it was his own hidden personality aspects that had somehow led him to this point, after all!

Akane had her love of acting, for example. And, while the 'Romeo and Juliet' debacle hadn't really given her a great opportunity to show her skills, she seemed to be pretty good at it, too.

Nabiki's appreciation for the finer things in life was well apparent to anyone asking her a favour, but the fact that said appreciation masked a sweet tooth rivalled only by that of Ranma-chan herself was rather less well-known.

As for gentle, sweet Kasumi, Ranma had thought he'd discovered one of her hidden depths in her newfound love of and ability with the Art, but it seemed that there were still aspects left to see-

"Oh, Ran-kun! Come and see the meerkats!"

- like an adorably child-like fascination for small, exotic animals.

There was something oddly endearing about that, he thought as he wandered over to his delighted fiancée. To see Kasumi, normally so self-possessed and calm, squealing in unselfconscious glee at a cute animal could not help but bring a besotted smile to his face.

'Just as long as we steer clear of the big c-cat enclosures,' he thought as he was dragged toward the newly-refurbished Kangaroo exhibit.

'Hmm…Kangaroo style…'

Careful testing after Torako's appearance (the sparkling feline had retreated to Ranma's unconscious the moment the couple had approached the water and had yet to re-appear) had revealed the crippling, all-consuming ailurophobia brought on by the Neko-Ken to be gone, replaced with a simple severe dislike. Apparently, "the irrational induced phobia was replaced with a general conditioned antipathy", whatever that meant.

Still, the step down from "Irrational Terror" to "Severe Dislike" was a small one indeed, certainly not enough to make frolicking with felines fine, so the tiger exhibit would be cheerily bypassed.

Ranma cocked a grin at Kasumi, currently cooing over the sight of a kangaroo joey poking its head from its mother's pouch, and shook off his introspection. Cats and other monsters could wait for the moment. There was something far more important right here with him.

"U, status report."

'U' sighed and keyed her headset. "Again with the code-names, huh?"

"Tradition."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. The Happy Couple's at the Kangaroo exhibit at the moment. Nii-chan had that 'Hey, I could make a style from this' look for a moment, but nothing's off or anything."

"Ranma's Ranma, I suppose," chuckled 'N' dryly. "Keep up surveillance, ok? We'll let you know if- Oh, for heaven's sake!"

"What is it?"

"S just picked up a challenger. Shouldn't take too long, so keep on the Happy Couple. N out."

"Gotcha. Take pictures, ne?"

Switching off the headset, Nabiki took in the figure now facing a rather ticked-off Shampoo. Pink Chinese-style top, white leggings and straw sandals garbed the one-meter-seventy of brown-haired, travel-stained, almost alarmingly genki lady martial artist.

"Behold, Shampoo of the Joketsuzoku! Know that you face the amazing Lady Meow VII, master of the Neko-Tekken! Today I shall redeem my honour as we decide who is the better through mortal combat!"

There was a moment of silence before Shampoo clapped a hand to her forehead with a heartfelt groan.

"It not bad enough Shampoo get Eternal Rival today, get chased by Crazy Cute-Thief, get groped by old pervert, must run into Great Annoyance too?"

"'Great Annoyance'?" queried Nabiki, cocking an eyebrow at the one so termed as the young woman sputtered angrily at her assigned nickname.

"Is family of martial artists, explained Shampoo with a sigh. "Women practice Neko-Tekken, 'Iron Cat-Fist'. Combine moves of animal with Iron Fist style. Is good style, just one big problem."

"Which is?"

Shampoo waved a hand toward Meow who had by now worked herself into a diatribe of near-Kuno proportions.

"Masters of Neko-Tekken all really, really annoying. Not know when to SHUT UP, either!" the last was shouted at the obliviously babbling young woman, to no visible effect. Shampoo sighed again, absently cracking her neck.

"Ok,' said Nabiki. "That explains who she is, but why is she here and after you?"

Shampoo had clearly been rather hoping to avoid having to answer that. The sigh she heaved at Nabiki's question put those preceding it to shame.

"Fine," she said. "Is like this. Back, before Meiji, first Meow come to Joketsu on training trip. Challenge village champion, get beaten. Village think she leave, but no, challenge next day too. Then day after that, and day after that. First Meow not take hint. Eventually lady Samurai come and drag First Great Annoyance back to Japan, but Elders already make rule that no-one give Meow, any Meow, any kisses. Too much pain in behind.

"Anyway, Elders think problem solved, but twenty years later, new crazy girl come, introduce self as 'Meow II', challenge champion, get beaten, not leave."

"I think I can see where this is going," noted Nabiki dryly.

Shampoo nodded wearily. "Every twenty, thirty years, new Meow come, challenge champion, get beaten, not leave. Shampoo hope come to Japan, avoid Great Annoyance, but no good."

"- face the wrath of the Neko-Tekken at the hands of trim, sexy Meow VII!"

A few moments later (awkward for the suddenly nervously-sweating Meow), there came a low growl from the visibly fuming Amazon as the purple-haired girl slowly produced her feared-by-all-and-Mousse bonbori.

"Shampoo not want fight today," she gritted angrily. "Want to watch over Big Brother's too, too romantic date. But no, Great Annoyance have to show up, Shampoo have to fight. Great Annoyance make Shampoo too, too mad, so Shampoo want to teach Great Annoyance manners lesson."

Nabiki would later swear that Shampoo's hair actually rose in a non-existent breeze, such was the sheer anger she was radiating.

The angry Amazon took a slow, purposeful step toward her foe, the air between them thick with antipathy. She shook her head, seemingly regretful.

"Shampoo not have time to paste Great Annoyance, though, so will beat as quick as can. Then will go back to guard Big Brother. Great Annoyance hold still, not make Shampoo have to chase, will be less hurting."

"H-hah!" laughed the slightly wary challenger before visibly pushing aside the murderous atmosphere. "I, Lady Meow VII, respect your confidence! However, today is the day I redeem the honour of my ancestors. Today, the power of the Neko-Tekken will defeat you!"

'I wonder if she means "reclaim" her honour?' wondered Nabiki as Shampoo twirled a bonbori.

"Great Annoyance think she beat Shampoo with cat-style?" she laughed, scornfully, cocking an eyebrow in disdain (causing Nabiki to blanch slightly and start muttering about gimmicks and copyright infringement). "Oh, it on now, Great Annoyance. Bring it!"

As the two fighters leaped into the fray, Nabiki (drawing back into the crowd and keeping a wary eye out for security), noted with some surprise that Meow was actually holding her own against the angry Amazon.

Challengers, in her not inconsiderable experience, tended to be either comically outclassed (the lion's share, generally) or surprisingly competent scaling up to frighteningly skilled. Judging by the way Meow was dancing around Shampoo's furious swings while repeatedly brushing the girl with extremely narrow misses, she was quite clearly in the latter category.

'Listening to Shampoo, you'd think this Meow'd be like Kuno, but she's actually pretty good,' she thought as she watched the energetic brunette actually step on the head of one of the bonbori and use the upward momentum so gained to flip over the Chinese girl and strike at her back, only to have the low seized and redirected away.

The middle Tendo sighed and absently keyed her headset not taking her eyes from the spectacle before her.

"U, status report, please."

"All good here, N. the Lovebirds are laughing at the penguins. They'll probably head for the Aviary next. What's S doing?"

"Raagh! Shampoo Smash!"

"…she's made a new friend, I think," grimaced Nabiki as Shampoo was sent flying into a hastily-vacated bench, fortunately left unscathed from the impact.

"…challenger? Rival?"

"Yup,"smirked Nabiki at the resigned tone tinging the Osakan's voice.

"Great, now I owe her five hundred yen," grumbled Ukyo sulkily. "Oh well, it was her money anyway."

"That's the spirit!"Nabiki proclaimed in the cheery tones of one unaffected by a present misfortune. "Now, judging by Shampoo's expression, she's about to-"

"Joketsuzoku Neko-Ryu: Thousand Kittens Shred Drapes!"

"Eeyaa!"

"-unleash a devastating special attack, thus ending the fight. Ouch," she winced as cloth tatters and several chunks of hair drifted gently on the afternoon breeze.

"You bother Shampoo again, Shampoo not stop at clothes, understand?" growled the still-bristling girl to her swirly-eyed rival.

"H-hai…"

Shampoo dusted off her hands with a decidedly smug air as she turned back to Nabiki, tucking an indistinct object into her pocket as she did.

"Ok, is done. We catch up with Big Brother now, yes?"

"Oi, you two, is it over yet? I was wrong, they're heading to the elephants now."

"I guess that answers that," muttered Nabiki. "On our way, U."

"This code-name thing get annoying," noted Shampoo as they walked briskly after their unknowing charges, leaving the still-groggy challenger behind.

"Doesn't matter," snapped Nabiki. "It's tradition. And by the way," she added as a thought came to her, "did you take a trophy from her or something?"

"Oh, this?" grinned Shampoo evilly, drawing a twist of brown hair from her pocket. "Hai. It-"

"Whaa? My pigtail! Shampoo, I will have my revenge!"

"Shampoo sure it make much annoyance later on, but it worth it."

"A sentiment I can relate to, Shampoo. Now, back to business."

"Hai."

"-and the baby koalas were so cute! Oh, I wish I could just take one home-!"

Watching his chestnut-tressed love (word of the day calendar. Nabiki. Long story) delightedly gushing about the zoo's inhabitants, Ranma was forced to the conclusion that Kasumi shared more than a few traits with one Shiratori Azusa (apart from the fact that she wasn't an annoying kleptomaniacal psychopath, of course).

"-just clinging to its mother's back, so cute-!"

In truth, Ranma found that to be just one more reason to love the young woman. The fact that she had yet to give anything an absurd French nickname was a bonus, of course.

"Oh my, I'm sorry Ran-kun. I've been going on and on, I must be boring you."

"Nah, it's fine, Kas-chan. If you can deal with all my whining about my girl-form earlier, I can live with you going a bit gooey over baby animals. It's actually kinda cute, really. Although," he grinned teasingly, "I did start to wonder if I'd need some help getting you out of the petting zoo section."

Ranma smiled at the rosy blush that adorned Kasumi's face at the memory. Apparently, the saintly girl's smile had much the same effect on baby animals it did on people. The combination of that and the delighted sparkle her eyes had picked up at the gate had produced a reaction in the inhabitants that inadvertently demonstrated why so many Amazon glomping techniques had animal-related names.

Ranma had, incidentally, come up with no fewer than three potential moves from the experience.

Evidently unable to think of a rejoinder, Kasumi merely blushed and, taking her fiancée's arm and snuggling close with a happy sigh, smoothly switched the topic.

"I'm proud of you for getting as close to the big cats as you did, by the way."

Stifling a reflexive shudder at the mention of the name, the pigtailed youth smiled weakly.

"Eh, it wasn't as though I was really close, though. I still really don't like 'em, but Ami-san says I probably won't go Neko now that Torako's 'detached'. She thinks the worst that'd happen is if I snap with Torako 'inside', she'd pop out and maybe attack something, but I'd still be me."

"Oh, how wonderful!" exclaimed Kasumi, beaming. "Maybe now we can work at desensitising you to cats, like that psychology book said."

"Ah, yeah Kas-chan, maybe sometime," said Ranma carefully, visions of Genma's attempts at 'desensitising' him flickering in his mind's eye before Reason gave Imagination and Memory a swift kick about the head for even thinking that Kasumi would ever take after Genma. That done, the happy pair walked on in silence for several minutes.

"By the way, Ran-kun, where did Torako-chan go?"

"Oh yeah, she didn't want to go out on the water at the lake and went back 'inside'," replied Ranma, tapping his temple meaningfully. "It could be my imagination, but I think I can kinda 'feel' her in there, now."

'Only Ranma could say something like that and make it sound everyday,' thought Kasumi with a mental shrug and a giggle at his adorable 'struggling for the right words' look.

"You can bring her out again, though?"

"Oh yeah, that's no problem," replied Ranma with a look that was equal parts smile and grimace. "I did some experiments after she appeared the first time. If anything, the problem is keeping her in when she doesn't feel like it."

"So," quipped Kasumi, an innocent twinkle in her eyes, "rather like a real cat, then?"

The dark-haired youth sighed as the pair started up a tall set of concrete stairs.

"You ain't kidding! She actually came out with a sneeze the second time! I sneeze and a blue lightning cat flies out my nose! Scared the hell out of Luna, too."

Kasumi, mustering every jot of her willpower, was only just able to stifle a fit of giggles at the image when she noticed the lengthening shadows.

"Oh my, it's getting dark. We should probably be heading back, Ran-kun."

"Not just yet, Kas-chan," replied Ranma, gently guiding the girl up the last of the stairs and around a low wall. "There's still one more place I want to show you."

"Alright, Ran-kun, but what is- Oh my…"

Turning around the final curve of the path left the two looking over a railing at the sight of the buildings of Tokyo painted red and gold by the setting sun, the sky behind darkening to black.

"…it's beautiful…" whispered the dumbstruck young woman, unconsciously drawing closer to her fiancée's solid form.

"…yeah…" replied Ranma, eyes fixed on the sunset-flushed face of his love.

"Kas-chan?" he asked after a moment, drawing her gaze to his.

"I-I'm not really good at talkin' and stuff," he stuttered before finding his resolve. "But there's something I gotta say…"

"Y-yes, Ran-kun?" prompted Kasumi, glad that the sunset hid her flush.

"Y'know, I've seen a lotta sunsets in my life," he said, a wistful note in his voice as he turned to look out over the city. "Them and the stars were all I really had that were constant, you know? And I really like 'em, the clouds and colours and all…"

The nervous young man trailed off for a moment, tugging at his pigtail before turning and fixing the wide-eyed Kasumi with a look of absolute love.

"But, I realised something these past few… weeks, months, I dunno…" he took a deep breath before speaking in a rush.

"I realised that I don't wanna watch another sunset without you watching with me. Not even one more sunset, not without you there."

Kasumi could hear nothing over the pounding of her heart as joyful tears flowed down her cheeks. Her response was plain in her eyes as the two gently drew each other into a kiss of pure love and happiness.

"Snff. That was so romantic!"

"Shampoo think she start to cry. Sister give hug?"

"Damn," quipped Nabiki, fighting down a lump in her throat. "Never would have figured Ranma-kun for such a romantic. Good going, you two," she whispered with a rare smile. "You deserve it."

The three watched the heart-warming scene for a few more moments, silent and watery-eyed. Then-

"Er-"

"Yeah, we see them Sugar," growled Ukyo, glaring fiercely at the hooded figures creeping toward the loving pair. "Dammit, why now?"

"Stupid Ninjas!" growled Shampoo, moving so as to be out of then couple's line of sight. "Why is always ninjas? No need ninjas now!"

"I'll take the ones on the right, ok Sham-chan?" asked Ukyo, her weapon of choice drawn and ready.

"Shampoo take left then," replied the Amazon grimly.

"Five hundred yen to the girl who finishes first," suggested Nabiki with a cruel smirk.

"Sound good to Shampoo! Obstacles are for BREAKING!"

The poor, hapless, unexplained ninja never knew what hit them.

As the sun set and the night-glow of Tokyo became visible in the darkening sky, five tired but satisfied figures rested as the train carried them back to Nerima. Three, still unknown to the other two, wore the exhausted but triumphant looks of those who had faced trials familiar to the gods themselves and emerged victorious. Leaning carefully on each other for support (mental and physical in equal measure, Nabiki, Ukyo and Shampoo heaved a sigh of relief. The date was over. Nothing had spoiled the happy couple's day out. The trio had emerged from their duty in triumph, and now they could rest.

A carriage away, Ranma gently tightened his arm around Kasumi's slender shoulders (blithely ignoring the disapproving glances of a scowling old lady across the aisle) and smiled in quiet joy as the drowsing girl snuggled closer. He'd been worried, this morning. He hadn't thought it possible, not with his luck. He had fully expected (indeed, planned for!) something to go horribly wrong today, but no, he'd actually experienced it.

A perfect, unspoiled day out.

'Feels like I could snuff out a shishi-hokodan right now, just through happy vibes,' he thought with a silly grin.

Issues resolved, confessions made, fun and laughter fully enjoyed. Yup, today had been a perfect day.

The train rattled along the tracks, carrying the five back home.

They had left Tokyo flush with success, love and happiness.

They returned to Nerima to find the remains of a battle-zone.

Secret Author Technique: Omake!

"Enemy sighted, Captain. Estimate ten capital ships, twenty cruisers, and a fighter screen."

"Total weight of metal, Tactical?" replied Captain Admiral Tendo Hoshitobi, Royal Silver Millennium Navy, from her seat at the bridge of Ishtar-Oki, flagship of the Fifth.

The young officer tapped at the holographic display before once again turning to her commander.

"Fifty ships in total, Sir, including support vessels, and with approximately double that in fighters. Surrender messages have been broadcast and refused, as well."

Hoshitobi sighed, taking slight comfort in the gentle warmth of her command link.

"Very well... All ships!" she barked, voice ringing through the commlinks of her command as her face firmed into a look of blazing determination. "We fight, once again! Go to weapons hot! Our foes outnumber us by a good margin, but they have forgotten just who we are! We are the Fifth! We have never turned, never run and never failed! We are the toughest, the fiercest and the best the Navy can offer! And that is why we will win this day once again! Because we are Fifth Fleet, the Wild Horses! And We! Do! Not! LOSE!"

The fierce roar of agreement that sang through the comms was echoed in the yowling cries of the ships, as the elite Moon-cabbits that made the Fifth the most feared Division of the Imperial Navy voiced their support over the comm frequencies. And as the eternal blackness of space was torn by the actintic glare of plasma bolts and anti-matter warheads and the radio and subspace frequencies by the vicious "Miyaaaah!" of the defenders, those of the Fifth cast a brief thought of thanks to their namesake, the legendary Creator of the Moon Cabbits that now defended the Imperium from those that would destroy it.

The young man who had never fully realised just what he had started that day when his meditation had been interrupted by a pair of careless Mau...

Author's Notes:

At long last, the latest chapter! Ever have one of those situations where you know exactly what you want to write, but just cannot for the life of you get it to sound and read right on the page? That was the situation I went through with this chapter. I had it sequenced, I had some snippets of dialogue and quick crossover references I wanted to include, but nope! Couldn't make them work. I'm pretty happy with the end result, all told, but it was a real struggle getting there.

The Omake, on the other hand, just popped out of my brain after reading a review. I blame too many David Webber books.

On another note, this is probably about as fast as you, my humbly appreciated readers, can expect to see new chapters appearing here. Between work, study and other commitments, I have precious little free time in which to write. If I can get them written and posted quicker, I will, but at this point it looks like not.

Ok, Reviews:

TheCentauress: Ooh, i do like the way you think. i've been considering creating an Omake story for 'Butterflies' ala 'Tales of Oops!', but the thought of something else on top of what i already have scares me a little. still, with ideas like yours...

Hero Slayer: Thanks for the kind words, mate. Eaves are the part of the roof of a building that hang out over the walls, so 'Dusting the Eaves' is a leaping attack with a downward strike, at least in my mind when i thought of the name.
I like your thought on the Mamoru meeting, but i've already planned out where things will go with him. thanks anyway, though.

Jonakhensu: True, true, but 'Five Star Chef' has a better ring to it, I think.

MWkillkenny84: thanks for the kind words!

primedirective: A-yup, it's Kung Fu Kasumi in my fic. As for Mr. Tendo, he teaches the nuts and bolts of the Tendo style while Ranma and Akane help her to individualise it, as seen in the 'kitchen meditation' scene.

Quathis: Hmm, combining Amaguriken and the Umi-Sen-Ken into Kasumi-Ryu...there's potential there, i think. thanks for the notion!
I'm going to sorta ease Mamoru into the plot, now that the seed's been planted. here's hoping it works.

Robby Cartwright: Thanks mate, will do.

Tri-Emperor of The Twilight: Ah, ok, i think i get the reference now. thanks!

deathgeonous: Thanks mate. I must say, i'm really grateful for how patient and forgiving my readers have been with the erratic updates. It takes some of the stress of writing away, for which i'm thankful.

Kariston Draconis: I was thinking a little from column A, a little from column B and a generous dash of my own interpretation for Kamen. wait and see...

GeorgeTobor: Who's to say they haven't been? they just have trouble keeping the poor sod in sight. ;)

RanmaChaos: Thanks, will do.

aznblackhowling: And here it is. i hope it meets your expectations.

OBSERVER01: glad you liked it. Hmm...Ami plus Washu-chan. it'd make for an interesting introduction speech, if noting else.
"Who are you?" "I am Sailor Mercury, Greatest Genius in the Universe, and in the name of Science, I'll punish you!"

KillerWombat: Funny you should mention that...

Cor Strike FX: Thanks you! i'll endeavour to do so.

lord Martiya: Not sure, really. i might have some references to Dei Liberi or De Grazzi here and there, but i figure Ranma would focus on more general styles and techniques rather than specialising, cool though the space sword is.
As i was writing the above i nearly wrote 'buster sword' and was struck with an image of Sailor Uranus swinging around Cloud's weapon while cackling madly. this is what happens when authors get sleep-deprived.
Galaxia? not sure, though "Ouch!" is a possibility.

Dumbledork: Thanks. there's going to be a few more instances of Magical Ranma before the end, but i see Ranma as being more of a situational fellow. he'll train in the required skills (gnosis, in this case), but all the coolest stuff happens when he needs it, in the finest Shounen Manga tradition. expect more soon(ish).

borg rabbit: yeah, you have the right of it. much as the senshi would probably love the ability to cast a "Mars Flame Orbital Plasma Barrage" i think that might unbalance the story a little. maybe in the epilogue or an omake, though.

AnFan-n-More: Always a pleasure to read your reviews. such a wealth of interesting and well-considered ideas!
That was kind of the thinking i had behind my characterisation of Setsuna, yes, though i don't want to give too much away. As for the similarity between Usagi and Ranma, i'm ashamed to say i didn't really make the connection until you pointed it out. That said, the resemblance is really quite uncanny, isn't it?
And aye, Ranma plus Usagi plus Righteous Cause does indeed equal a very bad week for the bad guys. he he he...
Thank you again for the Reviews, they make my day.

Hiryo: thanks for the kind words! heh, yeah, Martial Artist Kasumi is indeed a testament to the truism of "It's always the quiet ones".

Lord Sia: Some intersting ideas there, mate. Yeah, the Belgariad and the Malloreon were favourite books of my mis-spent youth, though i'm basing the chaos magic off an actual real-world system.
The thing about chaos magic (at least, my interpretation herein) is that it's basically nothing BUT gnosis. the outward effects are just imagination shaping the workd through gnosis, as witness the 'rainbow cabbit' scene in the previous chapter. Besides, from what i've seen of Ranma's learning style, it is either learning a move/technique he needs and has seen (Hiryu Shoten Ha, Amaguriken) or coming up with something on the spur of the moment, generally in the middle of a fight. Ranma is an improviser, an adapter, coming up with what he needs when he needs it, an attitude i'm having him keep with regards to magic. get good at the basics and you can get the fancy stuff easily.
Whoo, wordy much? Rest assured, there will be some more training, just more often than not it'll be off camera so as not to spoil the surprise.
and yes, there will be an Amazon meeting. whether it'll be what you expect, though...

Wonderbee31: I must admit, i do like the training scenes. it gives me an opportunity to indulge my wacky imagination without overturning the plot. there will be at least one more of them before the conclusion, so please look foward to it.

Sithking Zero: Well, i'm flattered! thanks. As for the SM/Ranma crossover popularity, i couldn't say. AnFan-n-More made a good point in how similar Usagi and Ranma are in terms of character, which could be part of the reason. me, i just like the notion of someone putting a youma in a hammerdrop, and who better to do it than our favourite pigtailed protagonist?

Bobboky: thanks!

nononononononono: um... no? ;) thanks!

TegwenielWestwind: Wait and see mate. i intend to have Kasumi-Ryu go a little further before the end. and yeah, hidden depths are a minor theme in my stories.

Tzeentchian Techpriest: yeah, sorry about that, mate. in my defence, this is the first story i've published, and i'm still getting into my groove as a writer.
Great name, BTW. Hmm...i just had an idea for a Sailor Moon/40K crossover. "In the Name of the Empress, we'll punish you!"
My brain scares me sometimes...

Nosferatum: sorry mate. all i can say is that i'm doing me best.

deitarion/SSokolow: thanks a lot, my friend. I worry about whether i'm in the happy medium when writing, so reviews like your mean a lot to me.

gsteemso: Thanks for the compliment, mate.
As for Setsuna, i'm actually aiming for a middle ground between canon and fanon, though i can't go too far into the details without spoilers for future chapters. That said, it seems to me that there's no reason for their to be a conflict between them. Guarding the timeline when it's set on Crystal Tokyo, adjusting it when it isn't.
Thanks for the heads-up, by the way. anything that drives me to consider things from a different perspective can only be a good thing.

Lord Jeram: good to hear, mate. There's really no way to avoid having at least some cliches in a story, what with genre restrictions and the like. i just hope i've tweaked the ones that made it in enough to give a new look to them.

dogbertcarroll: thanks mate.

Cullyn the dwarf: aye mate, still writing. hope you liked the new chapter, it being pretty Ranma-centric. the next one will be as well, so enjoy!

Atlan: Yeah, it was pointed out to me that i was being a little unfair and shallow about Akane, which was fair enough an assertion, though i like to think i explained her characterisation well enough in-text. still, it was a fair cop, and think the plot has benefited from the shift.
Thank you very much for the kind words, by the way!

Blackdex: Thanks, Will do. Ja ne!

Well, my dear readers, that's it for the reviews. Coming up, we get to see what was going on in Nerima while the happy couple (plus three) were out and about. Happosai the Hero! Genma and Soun: badarse! and many other odd and unexpected things.

Stay Tuned.