A/N: this is a long time coming, and for what it's worth, I'm sorry. If it makes you any happier, we're about half way through the story, I figure – it's shaping up to be about ten chapters, give or take a couple. I know I'm really bad at updating, but I'll try to get around to updating this in a reasonably timely fashion. Now that school has started up again, however, and I'm taking 18 units – it's hard to promise anything. Thanks to everyone who's read and reviewed so far! Enjoy!

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When Mello closed his eyes, all he could see was Sayu.

It gave him a complicated surge of hope and fear every time he thought about her, the dark-haired brunette with the laughing eyes. Sayu looked so much like Light, and yet was so very different – it was hard to believe that he could be so fond of someone who, in the beginning, had been a consistent reminder to Mello of the monster she was related to. But as time wore on, Mello thought of her less as 'Light's sister' and more as 'Sayu,' an individual with her own thoughts, feelings—someone that he cared very deeply for.

Thinking about Sayu nowadays usually only offered solace, but tonight it offered an underlying feeling of grief. Mello wasn't concerned about getting out of jail—it was a matter of 'when' and not 'if', as Mello was very confident in his abilities as an escape artist, criminal, and master manipulator—but he was concerned about Sayu's reaction to him showing up on her doorstep. Surely by now she would have learned of Mello's role in Light's death—that he had been at the root of it—and he was pretty sure that didn't put him in a favorable light in her eyes. Sayu loved her brother, an affection that bordered on reverence—and Mello has already used his 'get out of jail free' card with her. He was not sure if they could recover from something as devastating as what he has done.

Mello is surprised that he feels regret. He should be happier, shouldn't he? He had won, and winning had always been everything. He was the one who had figured out everything in the end, after all—he had bested Near, his rival, at long last. He had laid Light to rest himself, something he had dreamt darkly about since he had first learned of L's death. But at the same time, Mello had committed an act of significant murder, and he knew that there would be consequences to pay; he just had never thought that the consequences would be so steep that his conscience would waver. For once in his life, Mello wished that he had thought things through better.

I'm a monster.

Mikami was cowering in the dark corner farthest away from Mello. Mere moments earlier, he had been told the date of his execution. He had not been granted the kind of immunity that Mello has, and there was to be no trial. The Japanese police – and Near's people – wanted to keep the whole thing as quiet as possible, and they wanted Kira, to fade discreetly out of the limelight. Mikami had no hope of being saved.

In a few days, Mikami will face Judgment Day. A scary thought, for someone who has just seen personal deity fall from grace and prove his own mortality. Mikami was obviously scared out of his mind – what waits for him beyond the electric chair? – and Mello had a pang of sympathy that had nothing to do with the man's impending death. Mello had a Judgment Day of his own that he had to face, one day, when he managed to escape jail, and it offered none of the sweet oblivion that Mikami would receive.

Sayu, do you miss me, or do you hate me?

--

Matt had never known how to deal with crying women, and so Sayu's grief had been especially hard for him to handle. It seemed callous, but he had mostly left her to her own devices while he played videogames out in the living room until she composed herself. Sayu had long since retreated to the bathroom, and the sound of her choked sobs behind the door made Matt so anxious that twice he had singed his vest from stray ash.

It was late in the evening before she finally re-emerged, and when she did, her face was shiny with the sheen of water. Evidently she had just washed her face, and Matt felt inwardly relieved because her eyes appeared no longer swollen and red.

"Are you okay?" he asked tentatively.

"I've got a plan," she announced suddenly, "and you're going to help me."

Matt sighed and stubbed out his cigarette onto the already ruined floor. Sayu did not make her usual comment about him being a pig, and so he understood immediately that this was serious. He heaved a great sigh as he propped his elbows up on his knees. He watched her warily. "What?"

"We're going to have Near grant Mello immunity."

Matt hesitated a moment, biting his lip. Then, delicately, he pointed out the following: "Didn't you already try that?"

"You don't understand, Matt," Sayu said darkly. "We are not going to take 'no' for an answer this time."

Matt was afraid to ask. "We will make him listen to Reason," she said, more fiercely—and a little desperately—this time. "I know I can get him on our side, Matt. I know I can get him to see things our way."

"Sayu, you don't know Near as well as I do," Matt said quietly. "He's not one to have his convictions swayed so easily—"

"He will listen to us, Matt," Sayu said again, nearly on the verge of panic. "He has to!"

Matt opened his mouth to make a rebuttal, but something about the way Sayu looked in that moment made stop. She reminded him so strongly of Mello in that moment that it was almost painful, and Matt swallowed.

"I suppose… we could talk to him again," he offered lamely, still a little unsure.

"Exactly. I want you to take me to him."

"I've never been to Near's headquarters, and the location has changed since they were forced to go underground. I don't know where it is, and even if I did, I wouldn't have access to it," Matt pointed out, and Sayu looked as though she was about to shout as Matt, or perhaps strangle him. "But," he continued quickly, before she could threaten him with violence, "you have friends that probably do. What's that guy's name—Matsuda?"

Sayu's eyes went wide with horror, and for the first time Matt saw her confidence waver. "I don't know," she said, a little doubtfully. "I don't know if I can convince him to help us—"

"Well," Matt said, with raised eyebrows. "You'll just have to make him listen to Reason."

--

Reason – in which I pay homage to the nuclear gun that goes by the same name. From Snow Crash.