Ahead I cannot see the ancient faces, behind I cannot see the coming sages.I brood upon the endlessness of nature, lonely and sick at heart, with falling tears.

"It has been too many years to count," the Emperor said, (when really it hadn't, only a few and it was certain the Emperor could count that high), "so I don't know if I should grant this audience. I'm sure that all that could have been said has already been said and it was left the way it was. Why would we, (he had to get use to the royal honorific, and if he had to, everyone had to), really need to rehash things past?" Send him on his way, there is no reason for him to roost here now," the Emperor said and dismissed the servants.

Edward Elric held the very lovely, very formal unrolled parchment in his hand. The Emperor had declined his audience.

Well fuck, it wasn't like the bastard to play hard to get.

And if Ed admitted it to himself, they hadn't really parted on the best of terms. There were things in the way. Things like culture and tradition and Roy Mustang. Ah, Roy Mustang. That had been the prime stumbling block to Ed doing anything Ling had wanted him to do, and until that could be resolved, well, it was to that end that Ling returned to Xing and became an Emperor and Ed stayed enlisted in the military.

In fact, the military more of less was footing this expedition, (Ed tugged at the collar of his uniform jacket), by sending Ed along with some Very Important Persons to coordinate their security in this, a foreign country. They were going to see Ling, so why couldn't he?

He did feel, well, some sort of need to explain himself to the monarch. To go into the reasons why he wanted to stay in Amestris, (under Roy's command), and not live a life of hedonistic luxury in Xing. He would never be comfortable in this environment. He's already assured himself of that just entering the palace grounds. And how fucking unfair was it that Ling was somewhere in the massive, sprawling complex and Ed, who was here as the head of an elite security team, couldn't just go looking for him?

Ok, to say what? What could he possibly say to Ling? And what could he offer in explanation? Ed lived in a denial that he'd actually made a choice. It was just more... it was mainly for... it was Al! Al would not have wanted to live in Xing and Ed would not live so far away from his restored sibling and well, ok, he should admit, at least to himself that Roy made being in bed a really, really good place to be.

And that tradition thing, what made Ling thing Ed wanted to be a courtesan? A one of many? Roy made it quite clear that Ed was the center of his attention, (whenever Ed was around), and that he was no long seeing his harem, (because he feared for his life). Ling has made it clear that Ed would be his main courtesan but then had spouted up all the reasons why he'd need a couple of female ones for heirs and the like. Ed was not into sharing. Ed liked to be the sole reason for an obsession. Ed had many guilty thoughts over this selfish attitude, but he had it, nonetheless.

And while he sat there, brooding in some opulent waiting room being ignored by an Emperor, Ed found that if he were Ling, well, he might be telling himself to fuck off, too. Because Ling had made all the right overtures, the words, the promises, the kisses; and Ed had declined. Ed had never pursued a relationship from his end. His relationships had just come at him, each one a shock and surprise. In fact both Ling, his erstwhile traveling companion for a while, and Roy, his superior office and emancipator, had both decided Ed was old enough to be ensnared for their own nefarious purpose pretty much at the same time. For a while, Ed wasn't sure which way to turn, and frankly, was a little freaked out that he was drawing all this attention from, well, fellow males.

Each had their own way of justifying male beauty to Ed. For Ling it has been a ceaseless cascade of words and prose and declarations of devotion. For Roy it has been his eyes and hands and then his mouth and well, other bodily parts. Ed had found both methods strange and strangely satisfying. Ling's cause was not helped by the fact he was briefly a homunculus, (who, in his way, knew just what to do with his hands and his mouth as any Roy Mustang), but later on Ed had found himself vaguely horrified by the experience, realizing that Ling would never have had that sexual prowess and then realizing just where that sexual prowess came from. The fallout of that had been epic.

"It was just your body," Ed had told him, clutching at his stomach though his shirt. "I wasn't really with you."

"I was there, believe me when I say I was there and those touches were meant for you alone," Ling had responded, sounding mournful.

"I would feel better about this if I knew Greed was absolutely forced on you," Ed had half-growled. "But we both know differently, don't we?"

"Like you I had an unobtainable goal to reach," Ling said quietly, "why are your methods only good for you?"

And then there had been silence.

A silence that grew and grew until Ling had left the country and Ed was left to Roy. That should have been enough, and Ed should have been content with that, but there had always been regret at he and the Prince's parting, there had always been second thoughts about his accusations. Ling had demonstrated the things it takes to make relationships, especially when he clawed his way back from the homunculus' hold. Was it really Ed holding Ling to standards higher than he held himself? But he'd been able to just put that by the wayside, with time and distance being his allies. But here he was now, in this place where he was being given an opportunity to do what? Apologize? Maybe. Not that being denied an audience was going to help that. Ling was now being a unmitigated selfish bastard himself, making Ed wallow in all this uncertainly and regret.

Well, there was nothing for it, in a way Ling was doing him a favor by declining to see him. It would probably just be uncomfortable and awkward for them both. So in the end he returned to his squad and the Very Important Persons and tried to leave off thinking about anything beyond the needs of the moment. It was just irony they were all being lodged at the palace, (since the Very Important Persons were here after all to see the Emperor), and that the people he was escorting did indeed have an audience the next day, (to which he was probably uninvited,but they couldn't univite him he was head of security!). He would probably have to just wait outside the room, knowing of course that Ling was there, just beyond the doors making national policy or whatever. It was a wonder Xing was still standing.

It was with a buzzing skull and worn out internal speculation-generator that he assigned the nightly guard roster from his squad and high tailed it to his own appointed room just two doors away and decided to try and smother himself with one of the insanely opulent pillows that awaited him in an equally insanely opulent bed pit thing.

He undressed and dived in. At least, in all this ostentatious and vulgar display of wealth there was one perk. Freaking comfortable guest rooms. Not that it was doing him any good. He lay sprawled on his back in his boxers and stared at the darkened ceiling wondering why he had decided to use his Xingian vacation to lash himself with all his past Xingian incriminations. Fuck this, fuck Ling, just fuck it. If Ling wanted to hold a grudge forever, so be it. The very least the fucker could do was let him sleep. And eventually he did, not that Ed recognized it for what it was because naturally, he was asleep.

Many long years of being prepared to fight for your life had given him an edge. An edge that told him when things weren't right, and edge for knowing the unknowable even in his sleep. He twisted, rolled, came to his feet. From asleep to fighting stance in three seconds, not bad, not bad, he still had it. The figure in the room with him seem to pause and adopt an almost similar pose and Ed let a lazy half smile spread across his features. Good, this trip to Xing-land wasn't going to be a total waste after all, at least he could kick some Xingian would-be assassin ass. He would just pretend it was Prince Snooty-Butt. Yeah, that would make it all feel better, all this being denied and being made to feel like he'd really done something bad and feeling like he ought to apologize. He could just pound all his frustrations out on the idiot who chose to sneak into his room and try to put the Xingian whammy on him. Boy wouldn't this fucker be surprised? Not only was he the head of freaking security here and rightfully so, he was the damn Fullmetal Alchemist, famous ass-kicker of the people and he now had a burning need to pound on things Xingian related just to get back at the ass-wipe who was in charge of their country.

So there, bring it on.

They parried with movement at first, each trying to circle the other. Each trying to ascertain where the weak point might be; but Ed had to many bones to pick at the moment and decided to just charge in and pound the living hell out of whoever this was, because whoever it was wouldn't be expecting and metal arm and a metal leg and those things were all sorts of useful when fending off things like knives or teeth or whatever.

The figure opposite him let out of grunt of surprise when Ed halfway leaped the bed pit in and effort to pounce on his head. Herein lie the problem with all things plush and gaudy, they were inherently soft and not very springy, something which all good mattresses, back in Amerstris were sure to be. So instead of adding height to his jump, it added sink and Ed almost went off balance and flailed, managed to scramble all the way across and out and stood there looking like he meant to do that to cover up his embarrassment. Fucking weird-ass Xingian bed pit things throwing him off his stride, that just earned this guy another thump,(when he could get to him), for his countries stupid choice of sleeping consolidations.

And to top it off...the bastard was snickering at him. At him, the Fullmetal Alchemist who was going to rain doom down on the bastard's head and make him wish he'd never been a twinkle in his old man's eye. The invader of his room adopted a more casual pose, almost as if it was hands on his hips but Ed had a hard time making that out in the dark. All he could see for sure was the outline of a man against the dim moonlight coming in from the windows. Embarrassment had thrown off his charge-like-a-madman-and-pummel-the bastard mojo, so he stood, warily, swaying back and forth slightly on the balls of his feet. Just when he was wondering if there was a point to this assassination attempt, the bastard charged him. He backpedaled and the could hear and almost sense the displacement of air as the bastard took a swing. He brought up his right arm to block, but the swing changed then, didn't connect and the bastard dropped, kicking out with a leg toward his own right leg.

So he'd done his research, he knew about the automail.

Ed managed to dance back out of the way before reversing his momentum and charging in. And the bastard just stood there, let Ed hit him, let Ed shove him back over the floor and the edge of the pit. Let Ed fall in and land on top of him. What the fuck?

"Is that anyway," said an amused voice beneath him, "to treat an Emperor?"

At first Ed was to surprised to react, then Ed was too flabbergasted to react, then Ed decided that when would he have such a golden opportunity to strangle an Emperor and he tried to react, but Ling caught his wrists and neatly flipped him onto his back and jumped to straddle him.

"Get off me," Ed growled, squirming angrily. "What the fuck are you doing here? You didn't want to see me, remember?"

"That is just for official appearances," Ling said above him, voice swimming in the darkness. "Of course I had to see you, or see what I could of you given it's the middle of the night."

"What's with you? You don't want to see me you just want to sneak into my room and risking getting an automail blade up your nose. I use to mistake you for smart," Ed said, grunted and tried to squirm away again.

"I suppose I'm just surprised to have you in my country, after all you made it pretty clear you wanted nothing to do with me and in a way I'm it, so by being here you're in me, oh that's sort of a naughty way to phrase that, isn't it? So why are you here Edward Elric? Is it only to guard important men? Anyone can guard important men, it's not like they need your help," Ling kept Ed's wrists pinned to either side of his his head as he lay under him.

"That is where you are wrong because that is exactly what I'm here to do," Ed kicked out a foot, tried to twist again. "Fuck Ling, this Emperor gig is good to you, you're putting on weight, that's why I can't throw your fat ass off."

"It's more like you can't throw me off because you're not centered and balanced la dee dah and the bedding under you is bad for leverage, you've already demonstrated that," Ling's voice was merry and Ed snarled and bared his teeth, not like Ling would see it. "I think that is just an excuse, here you are a Colonel and you want to tag along after a bunch of diplomats sniffing at their rears? All you've done is assign your peons to watch them while you pined away outside the royal chambers. Really, it touched my heart."

"Fuck you!" Ed half shouted. "Let me up and get out of here before they come looking for you and get the wrong idea, like I'm trying to kidnap you or something, you know that shit always happens to me!"

"Maybe I want them to get the wrong idea," Ling said silkily above him now, "and I'm afraid the pecking order will be different now that I'm royalty. If they break in to accuse you of kidnapping me in the middle I can't let them see you know, the ruler of their country bottoming."

"Oh really?" Ed said flatly. "The news I have for you might be a bit disappointing. I didn't not journey all the way to Xing in the company of men so boring I wanted to go back in time and strangle their mothers just to have sex with you. I bet that isn't heart-warming at all, is it?" Ed tried his best to have his sneer seen in the darkness.

"Then who did you come to have sex with?" Ling said, Ed could feel him kicking a foot back and forth idly in the air while keeping Ed trapped. "I'm much, much better at it than I use to be, I've had lots of practice," Ling cooed.

"Look you bastard, that is NOT what I wanted to talk to you about today, what the hell was that telling me to fuck off? Ok maybe I deserve a fuck off but you could have done it privately instead of having your servants do this big pomp and circumstance thing and bring me this official scroll and then read it out loud for everyone to hear and yeah maybe I had that coming and all, but still, what the fuck? I wanted to talk to you to tell you maybe I said some shit that I shouldn't have said and yeah, I felt bad about it. I'm a big boy, I can own up to when I've stuck my foot in my mouth. Oh, and then they presented me the scroll, like it was some kind of souvenir for me to take back and frame or something. Lucky you, the Emperor told you to go piss yourself, ought to have it bronzed," Ed gave up twisting to escape since it wasn't doing him any good.

"I wish I could have seen that," Ling sighed, "oh the burdens of duty."

"So, what are you going to do now? Lay on me all night?" Ed asked.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Ling returned, but he released Ed's wrists, got up on his knees, still straddling Ed's waist. "Ok, I'm ready, you can apologize now, then tell me how you can't live without me, that you're going AWOL from the Amestris army and you'll have to be a political refugee I'll happily shelter for the rest of our natural born lives. I'm waiting," Ling then crossed his arms, (or he seemed to, in the dark Ed wasn't so sure).

"I can give you the apology thing, the rest you'll have to negotiate with my brother and boyfriend," Ed said dryly. "You know how reasonable they can be."

"I thought as much," Ling said. "It's just like you to make grand overtures then come up with a reason why you can't follow through."

"You son of a bitch! Let me up! You saying I can't commit? Is that it? You think that was an easy choice, do you? There was a lot more riding on that decision than just me and you know it, talk about being unfair," Ed went back to squirming in anger. "I'm sorry, ok? I'm sorry for some of the things I said, I'm sorry that I couldn't just leave everything behind and I'm sorry...I'm sorry I hurt you. I didn't want to. If things were different, hell if anything was different, then it might have been different. That is always the excuse, I know, but it is what it is and I can't just change it. It's not that I didn't care about you or think about you because I did. I'm not that likable a person, so it meant a lot to me that at least you understood. So I'm here, your highness, to apologize. To tell you that it wasn't easy and I should have said something before you left, but I didn't, and I regret that. So you got me regretting and being sorry. Take what you can get from me because there isn't a lot left of me I can give up, ok?"

The Emperor sighed above him, shifted his weight a bit on Ed's hips. Then he leaned over and even in the dark Ed knew they were nose to nose.

"Tell me how you do it, how you have this divine presence when in reality you are eternally godless," Ling said in a whisper. Then Ling's lips brushed his chin, found his mouth and Ed tensed for only a moment. There was no use in fighting this.

"So, that's it? We fuck now?" Ed said when Ling released his mouth, as Ling's hands slid down his sides; tugged at his boxers.

"Of course," Ling replied. "You have come to me confessing that you have longed for me, but, selflessly, as we both know you are, your duty to country and family forever stand in our way. We are, as suiting, unrequited and we will now take our stolen moments of pleasure."

"What a load of crock," Ed snorted.

"Be silent, your potty mouth will not be in the Xingian history books," Ling informed him. "I will however arrange for you to have a scroll of our tale of desperate and yet unobtainable love, signed by me of course. You should put in a little testimonial about what an incredible lay I am as well. Now that you could have bronzed."

"You would think that all these years as a ruler of your country with all the responsibility and nobility that comes along with that you might have, oh I don't know, learned some sense of true diplomacy? Especially when you have someone in bed with you. I guess I should be grateful that some things never change," Ed grumbled as Ling slid his boxers down his legs and lifted them one by one to get them off.

"You of all people know that you can't help but be yourself," Ling said, tossing the boxers away. There was more rustling of clothing, but since Ed no longer had a stitch on it wasn't his clothing being abandoned. Then there was warmth and the feel of skin on skin along his left side and a hand sliding over his chest. He lifted his own hand, his knuckles brushing the underside of the jaw above him, his fingers sliding up a cheek, back over an ear and then cupping the back of a head, pulling it down toward him. Sometimes kissing Ling was the only way to shut him up.

The Emperor hadn't necessarily lied when he said he'd had lots of practice; his kissing had definitely improved. The long slow slide of his mouth over Ed's, the playful tug at Ed's lower lip with his teeth and the insistent press of his tongue until Ed allowed him entry were much different then the slobbering, heated, rushed attempts to eat Ed's face in his youth. It was a different way of being devoured and his body appreciated it more even if he was ambiguous at the moment. The Emperor's hand had found the Ed's lower stomach, and it hovered there as the Emperor lifted his mouth away.

"Ok, you weren't exaggerating the practice of skills," Ed said, licking his lips.

"Having to please many courtesans tends to hone one's abilities," Ling sighed expansively. "But for you my flower, the affection attached to the display is true from my heart."

"You're really into this unrequited romance book thing, aren't you?" Ed asked. "Well, ok, let me give you some fuel... you know, technically I'm cheating on the love of my life here."

"I like that," Ling said, drumming his fingers on Ed's lower stomach. "I can use that when I have my court bard make this night into a song. Something about even though he belong to another, still he sought out the superior skills and affections of Xing's one true Emperor or something like that."

"Don't call me flower or any shit like that in the song," Ed said, shifting and lifting his hips a bit, hoping to encourage Ling to move his hand lower.

"What about mooncakes?" Ling said, shifting his body down and lowering his lips to Ed's stomach. "Or maybe something like jujubee."

"No and no," Ed said, wetting his lips again. He closed his eyes when Ling's lips actually touched his stomach. He made a low, almost primal sound when Ling began to drop small kisses; down past his navel, over his lower stomach, into the crevice of his leg and hip. Ed bent one knee up, then lay it to the side, opening himself. Between the two of them sex had always been a heated rushed affair. There was always something they needed to charge off to do, the threat of someone they didn't want catching them catching them, the burning drive of teenage hormones. Ed groaned softly when Ling's lips moved down his inner thigh and the fingers of the hand still on his stomach finally moved. They rubbed at the trail of curls there, traced them down into the curls around Ed's new erection and then lightly wrapped around the bottom of Ed's said erection.

Ling lifted his head, the pad of his thumb rubbing lazily up and down the underside of Ed's cock.

"Hmmm," Ling said, just as lazy, "you keep shooting down all my good endearments. How about we call you golden horse? Would that satisfy you?"

"Because I'm a stud," Ed purred, stretching his arms up over his head, lifting his hips to drive his cock harder into Ling's hand.

"Well you are hung like one and I ride you," Ling said cheerfully.

"That's backhanded," Ed said, helpfully moving his hips up and down and rubbing his cock into the palm of Ling's hand. Ling suddenly tightened his grip around Ed's cock, so tight that Ed stopped moving both in surprise and for the fear of accidentally dislocating his cock. Now cocks didn't have any bones to speak of, so maybe dislocating wasn't an option, still didn't need to be trying to give Ling's palm rug burn when one good flick of Ling's wrist might do things he'd rather not have done. Especially not to that part of his anatomy. Then the Emperor did something amazing. He put his other hand on Ed's cock, too. Then he began a hand over hand stroke, pulling up to the tip and releasing and then following with the second hand. Over and over and Ed found it a bit difficult to breath at first and he wet his lips a lot and tried to grab at a non-existent headboard.

"I call this technique milking the cow," the Emperor crooned over him. "It's my very own technique. I like to think of myself as a pleasure innovator. I think, if anything, my legacy to Xing should be that I was an Emperor who knew how to enjoy himself. I think my message to the masses should be, take some time for yourself, know what you like. If you want to be philosophical about it, then you could think of it as knowing how to pleasure yourself leads to being able to bring pleasure to other. Or well, tell them how to bring pleasure to you, because you know, if you know what you like then you could be a good instructor in telling them what you like. You seem to be enjoying this. I perfected the technique a few years back when I was spending all that time alone having just come home from my journey."

Ed was only half listening, he heard the cow part and something else about knowing how to pleasure your emperor or something another, and at the moment he was trying very hard not to associate his cock with the udder of a cow, because he knew if he let himself go there and let's him mind's eye see it there would be no unseeing it and that could complicate sex in the future.

"I have another technique called starting the fire, you know, like when you take a stick and rubs it back and forth between your hands on wood...," Ling continued.

"OK, enough already, call me by a fucking flower name and get on with it," Ed moaned.

"You've gotten very trusting in your old age," Ling said. "Some head of security you seem to be, you know while I'm so expertly distracting you I could have legions of my highly trained ninjas doing all manner of horrible, nasty, mangly things to your charges."

"I thought you said you had gotten good at this," Ed panted, "but no, you still wanna run on at the mouth. You know, I'm surprised I got a whole blow job out of you at any given time because you had to go on and on about how great you were at giving me a blow job," Ed groaned.

"I'm very good at blow jobs," the Emperor said with some satisfaction in his voice. "You only complained a little and you still came, every single time."

"I was a hormone addled wreck, so were you," Ed growled. "And what was with you and the need to fuck in alleys? I think I know what every dumpster in every stinking alley in Central looks like."

"I liked fucking outdoors," Ling sighed. "It's like peeing outdoors, it makes you feel so free."

"I don't see the freedom in getting off while snorting dumpster juice, but whatever," Ed groaned. "Ling, would you do me the great honor of getting the fuck on me already? There, you can put that in your scroll or song or whatever."

Ling looked down at him, still holding his cock, still stroking up and down it idly.

"I was savoring the moment, however, if you insist." Ling released him, grabbed him, rolled him over onto this knees, reached to show Ed where to place his hands on the side of the pit. He then settled on his heels behind Ed, lifting Ed by the hips and scooting until he was in the correct position. He'd magically produced lube from nowhere, he was very good at that sort of thing, sort of like his state title would have been 'The Lube Alchemist', and he got to work quickly making them both ready for what was to come.

"I don't suppose you'll need any stretching," Ling said wryly. "The only thing I have to thank that bastard General for."

"Don't be hating on my General," Ed half gasped. "Bad mouthing Roy is a turn off, don't go there."

"Is my jealousy arousing?" Ling asked from behind him, starting to lower Ed into his lap, guiding himself to Edward's opening. "I would think you'd get some sort of perverse pleasure out of hearing the barely contained mournful longing in my voice. Oh to be spurned for the military. You're a hard man, Edward."

"I don't want this to be about that," Ed said, swallowing, adjusting, rubbing his fingers back and forth on the side of the pit. "Let's just make this about us, about being right here, right now. Let me give you that much."

Ling pulled him back then. He was full seated, straddling Ling's thighs, Ling buried deep. His back met Ling's chest and Ling's arms went around him. He tilted his head back until the back of it rested on Ling's shoulder. Slowly Ling began to stroke his stomach, his other hand moved to catch Ed's erection, his fingers circled it lightly. Ling's lips pressed to his shoulder and they both sat like that, unmoving, not speaking for a few moments.

"Let us pretend," Ling whispered beside his ear, "that this is what is has been all along. Let's suspend our belief long enough to let this be what it has been like and what it will be like forever."

Ed groaned softly, turned his head so that his forehead pressed against the side of Ling's jaw, he nodded.

"My love," Ling breathed, then he began to lift himself, lifting Ed of course, "you have been my inspiration to do what is right. To make the wrong things livable. You have shown me, with your selfless devotion and conviction that no cause it insurmountable. You have led me through my darkest times, never giving up on my eternal soul and it was through you I managed to free myself of the greed that had consumed me. I would move mountains, I would climb heavens, I would do the impossible to have you be the possibility I would have for the rest of my days."

"Ling," Ed said, faint and trembling, moving with Ling's motions, riding Ling's body, "don't."

"Be silent, this is make believe," Ling reminded him, leaning them forward so that Ed once against braced his hands against the side of the pit. It was easier then, going to his knees, keeping Ed's hips captive, lifting him to take Ling's deep thrusts. In the end, showing mercy, reaching beneath Ed to stimulate his cock. Ed's throaty sob as he came into Ling's palm and his wet, whispered words of encouragement until Ling followed him over.

When he woke in the morning the Emperor was gone. He stretched and rolled around in the ridiculous bed before getting up to find a bath and his clothes. He ate a meal with his charges and learned of an audience to be held after lunch. He would just go with them there, sit through that and wonder if he'd get a chance to speak to the Emperor alone.

After lunch they all milled about in the ante chamber until the main doors to the throne room where opened and flanked by guards with big, impressive pikes. The chamberlain beckoned to the group and Ed let the others take the lead, bringing up the rear. But as he would have crossed the threshold into the throne room the pikes suddenly moved, forming impressive 'X's across the door way and barring his entrance.

What the fuck?

A man, one Ed recognized, detached himself from the group and headed down the isle toward him. This was the very same man who had read aloud the scroll that basically told Ed to go take a hike not a day before. When he neared, he stopped, cleared his throat, unrolled a scroll and began to read, yet again, another kiss off letter. One for everyone to hear. Ed's eyes widened and he leaned just enough to be able to see the Emperor, sitting there on his dais with many attendants all around. The Emperor grinned at him, lifted his hand and waggled his fingers at Ed. But then, the speech was finished and the big doors were closed, leaving Ed standing there in the ante room all alone.

That vindictive son of a bitch.

Well, at least he was jealous. Ed gave himself a little smile and turned to go find something else to occupy his time until the evening.