I decided it was time to take a break from my other fic and write a little oneshot which I thought up when I was thinking about the height of the new middle schoolers on the bus. They're short. As in really short. And actually, the law here says you need a booster seat if you're less than 4' 10". Then someone told me Syrus was 4' 9"…

Disclaimer time: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh GX or the characters. They belong to Kazuki Takahashi. Though I like the Japanese names better I'm using the dub names for clarity. I'm not biased about your preference, though. Reviews arguing about my choice of names will be ignored and left as a testament to how many people didn't read this.

Four Foot Nine: Or, Why Syrus Hates His Height

"You have gotta be kidding me."

Alexis grinned awkwardly at the short boy. "Hey, sorry Sy, but it's the law. Your medical records say you're 4 foot 9, and you have to sit in a booster seat if you're any shorter than 4 foot 10. Did I mention we all want you to go to the beach?"

"Well—"

"Jaden and everyone else would be sooooooooooo disappointed!"

"Mmmmff—"

"This is your chance to prove you have dignity like Zane!"

That did it. Syrus's head snapped up proudly.

This is my chance! If I can prove to Zane that I can endure this without being a wimp and breaking down and crying or something, maybe he'll respect me more! Besides, Blair's shorter than me. She'll have to be in a booster seat too!

"All right, fine. Where's this stupid van we're going in?"

--

"PINK?!"

Atticus scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Well, it was the only color we could find. Unless you wanted the purple one that says 'Mama's Boy' on it?"

Syrus groaned. "Fine. I'm only sitting in it twice anyway. Wait, how come there's only one seat? I thought Blair was shorter than me and she's coming too!"

"Blair lives a mile away from the beach, so she's biking," Adrian told him.

"Oh, shit shit fuckity fuck fuck fuck…" Syrus growled softly. He could hear Chazz rolling his eyes and sighing in exasperation as Jaden howled that the booster seat had given him a boo-boo when he strapped it in, and couldn't someone kiss it and make it all better? Pwease?

Zane looked over in his little brother's direction with his arms crossed. His usual calm expression disappeared for one second as his eyes twinkled with laughter.

Syrus groaned. He was going to be sitting in a booster seat and looking like a little boy, the booster seat was pink, and his big brother probably thought he was a baby.

"Can't I just sit in your lap or something instead of the booster seat?" Syrus whined softly as Zane walked by to help Bastion load the umbrella into the car.

Zane grinned ruefully. "Law's the law, and I'm driving."

"That would probably be smart if we all want to survive," Aster put in, "because Yusuke is sick and just coming along for the sea air, and the only other person who's got a license is…Atticus. And there will be 19 people in the car. Plus, Blair's bicycling."

"Wait a second, 19?"

Aster took a deep breath. "Jaden, Alexis, you, Zane, Sartorius, Sarina, Yusuke, Chumley, Bastion, Chazz, Hassleberry, Jesse, Jim, Axel, Adrian, Atticus, Mindy, Jasmine, and me. Blair's biking, so that means there are 20 people going altogether."

"…O-kaaaaaaaaaaay."

"Oh Syrus-chaaaaaaaaaaaan!" Mindy sang out. "We're getting on the car!"

Syrus groaned. "Great Slifer and Ra help me…"

Jaden, who had planned the entire trip, forgot to calculate that the van was only designed for 13 people. In the end, the four exchange students plus Chazz sat in the trunk along with the stuff they packed and Atticus "heroically" strapped himself to the top of the car and offered to bawl out Hawaiian ballads for entertainment during the trip. Thus, any hope Syrus had of escaping the booster seat was quickly squashed.

He'd hoped that everyone wouldn't know how to strap him into the booster seat and thus abandon the plan next. However, it turned out both Jasmine and Alexis had taken babysitting classes, and despite all his furious squirming, they eventually managed to get him securely bound with Jaden and Bastion on either side of him. Well, Chazz and Hassleberry would've been worse—at least Jay and Bastion were all right.

Luckily for him, after about 2 minutes of cooing over how cute he was from the girls, a sugar-high Jaden and Atticus somehow managing to sing Hawaiian songs with 45-miles-per-hour wind in his face distracted them. Especially when Atticus got bored and decided to switch to South Park songs in front of a preschool.

"WE-EEEEEEEEEEELL…KAAAH-YLE'S MOM IS A BIG FAT BITCH SHE'S THE BIGGEST BITCH IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD—"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Aster screamed from the passenger seat. "WE'RE IN FRONT OF A PRESCHOOL AND YOU'LL DISTRACT ZANE!"

"Oh Aaaaaaaaaasteeeeeeeeer, my little flower, I have to confess something to you, my sweet petal. I loooooooove you to death! Will you marry me?"

"BE QUIET! I JUST DRANK COFFEE 2 MINUTES AGO AND YOU'RE RENEWING MY DAMNED HEADACHE AGAIN!"

"Oh my sweet Aster, you have broken the Love Master's hear—"

"I JUST TOLD YOU TO BE QUIET!"

Meanwhile, Syrus was trying to get out of his booster seat. Luckily, Jaden, who would've made him stay in his seat like a "good little boy", had drunk too much lemonade with too much sugar and was now bawling that he needed to go peepee in a disgruntled Adrian's ear. They were now engaging in a fight with McDonald's toys.

Bastion looked over at a pouting Syrus with quiet amusement. "You want some help getting out of that?" he asked softly. "Everyone else is distracted."

Syrus blinked in surprise. One, he hadn't expected Bastion, of all people, to try and help. Two, he hadn't been paying attention to all the chaos in the car…

Jaden was grabbing his crotch and fighting Adrian, who was swearing in Slovak at him. Jesse and Jim had teamed up against Chazz and Axel in a game of bridge. Zane's eyebrows were twitching dangerously, but miraculously, though his eyes seemed closed, he was still driving safely. Atticus was chanting the "Unclefucker" song at the top of his lungs while Aster was attempting to hit him with the beach volleyball net sticks. Sartorius and Sarina were trying to figure out how to turn on the Gameboy of Hassleberry, who was snoring and drooling on the polished window of this beat-up old van of the Rhodes. Yusuke was coughing and politely trying to keep away from Mindy, who was screaming about "bad germies". Chumley was eating his 7th Big Mac next to the two other girls, who were painting each other's nails and apparently talking about how to crossdress Sy. The poor boy shuddered as disturbing images popped into his mind.

He turned back to Bastion. "Yeah, but do you have a plan? With 17 other people in the car, it'll be virtually impossible for me to get out unnoticed."

"Simple." Bastion kept his voice low. "I'll unbuckle you, and since we're almost at the beach, we'll just wait until it's in sight. Then you jump up on my lap, and I'll yell in surprise for Zane to stop. You'll hop out the window when he stops and run away. That'll take care of this time. I'll puncture a tire or something so we'll have to take the bus back. Afterwards I'll admit the entire thing and pay for the tire."

Syrus blinked in amazement at Bastion. "You thought that entire thing up just now and you'd actually be willing to do it?!"

Bastion laughed. "Yes and yes. I owe you one for sharing your incredibly meager lunch with me when Jaden stole mine. How's it sound, lad?"

Syrus nearly hugged Bastion, but refrained from doing so to avoid attention.

Soon the beach came in sight. Bastion unbuckled the straps that were digging uncomfortably into Syrus's…uh, let's not go there…and mouthed, "NOW!"

Syrus sprung up quickly. Bastion pretended to be completely surprised and yelled, "ZANE! STOP THE CAR! SYRUS IS LOOSE!"

"Whaaa?" Zane slammed the brakes rapidly, looking back to see what his little brother was doing.

Syrus hopped out the window and began running towards the beach, screaming in his high-pitched voice, "FREEDOM!"

The quick braking was causing havoc back in the car, though.

Jaden screamed like a girl and slammed into a startled Adrian, who switched to swearing in German. Chumley choked on the Mac and spat it between Yusuke and Mindy, who both sprang back, Yusuke with a muffled Japanese curse, Mindy with a shriek. The other two girls began complaining about the spilled nail polish. Hassleberry woke up, wiped the drool off the window, and started blustering orders to no one in particular. Sartorius and Sarina had figured out which button to push to turn the machine on, but the impact slammed the power switch into the seat and their hard work was rendered useless. Jesse's hand jerked across the scoring paper for bridge and the cards flew everywhere, so that effort was wasted too. Atticus began to wail for his mommy, then began singing a funeral march that he "dedicated to my sister Lexie" while Aster clutched the window to stay in the car and dropped the volleyball net outside with a loud clatter.

Just then, Blair rode up with a soft rustle of cloth. "Hey guys!" she called. "I'm glad I made it in time, how're you all doing?"

Syrus also came up, concerned as to why the car was so silent. "You all okay?"

Both short people peered inside, open-mouthed, at the destruction. The eerie silence was quickly shattered by Jaden's muffled whine in the backseat.

"I did it in my pants."

-FIN-