A/N: Please be aware that there will be spoilers for the Season 4 Premiere. I don't own any of these characters but I hope I can do them justice in the playground in my head.
Penelope walked into her apartment and placed her go bag on the floor. She leaned back against the door and looked around. It was nice to be home and away from the Mayhem of the past week. The plane ride had been short and quiet. She spent the entire time looking out the window and planning her quiet evening at home. She picked up her go bag and headed to her room. There was a glass of wine and a bubble bath with her name on it and she was going to fully enjoy it.
She could hear the phone ringing in the background but she was determined to ignore it. She had placed candles in the bathroom and turned off all of her apartment lights. The volume on the answering machine had been lowered so she couldn't hear who was calling, but she already had a sneaky suspicion that it was Derek calling her and she just wasn't ready to deal with him.
She tried to erase the memory in her head of those terrifying minutes when she thought Derek had died. She will never forget how she felt when she heard him calling her name on the radio. The rush of emotions left her totally exhausted. She had begun to doze off when she was startled by the doorbell.
"Who the hell is that at this hour?" She thought to herself as she got out of the tub and wrapped herself in a bathrobe. She walked to the door and peeked through the peep hole. Closing her eyes and biting her lower lip she placed her hand on the door knob but hesitated. She wasn't ready for this right now. All she wanted was some peace and quiet and time to think. She let out a deep breath and opened the door.
"What are you doing here?" She asked.
"You weren't answering the phone, I was worried. I tried your cell too but it kept going to voicemail. Is everything ok? Kevin said.
"Everything is FINE. I'm tired and I just wanted some alone time." She answered.
"I heard what happened. I'm sure that was really hard on you." He said
"It was hard on everyone. We all worked with Kate and her death was so pointless. She was young and had a lifetime ahead of her. "She replied.
She turned around to walk away and Kevin grabbed her arm gently. "Pen, I'm sorry about Kate and I'm sorry Agent Hotchner was hurt." Kevin said. He knew there was more to the story, but he wasn't sure he wanted to bring up Derek right now. That was a whole can of worms that was better left sealed.
"Thank you Kevin and please don't think I don't appreciate your coming over, but really I'd like to be alone." She said.
"I can just sit here quietly with you. I won't talk, I'll just hold you and try and comfort you." He said.
"Then I wouldn't be alone would I?" She said with a spiteful tone.
"Penelope? Are you mad at me?" Kevin asked
"Not yet!" she said. She took a deep breath and tried to reel herself back in. "Kevin, I'm sorry. No I'm not mad at you; I'm not upset with you. I just need to be by myself. I want to be able to unwind and make sense of everything alone." Penelope said.
"This is about him isn't it?" Kevin asked
"OH MY GOD, Kevin PLEASE! I'm having a hard enough time dealing with everything that went on in NY, there is no way I can sit here and walk through your insecurities about Morgan!" She said impatiently.
"It's always about HIM. Every time you and I have an issue, he's the reason behind it. He calls; you run. He comes over; you drop everything you're doing. You get mad at him and I'm the one that pays for it!" He yelled.
Penelope pulled her arm away from Kevin's. She didn't need this, not today. ESPECIALLY not today. All she asked for was some time. Just a little bit of time to sort through her mind and get her emotions in order. "Kevin, this is NOT about Derek. It's not about YOU. This is about ME! I lost a co-worker and could have lost my boss. My ENTIRE team could have died in that blast. As it is, I was on the radio with one of my teammates for the ENTIRE ride praying that my directions and guidance could get him to safety. Praying that I hadn't miscalculated the amount of time we had left. Praying that I wasn't so much as 5 seconds off because if I had been wrong, he would have died and THAT would have been MY cross to bare! N O W P L E A S E L E A V E!" She yelled.
Kevin lowered his head. He hadn't looked at things from that angle and realized he'd pushed the wrong buttons tonight. Without looking up at her he turned around and headed for the door. "I'll umm .. call me when you want to talk." He said and with that he left her apartment.
Penelope collapsed on the couch and started to cry. The combination of the wine and her exhaustion finally got the better of her and she fell asleep. The phone rang and she reached for it in her sleep.
"Pen, are you ok?" JJ asked
"JJ?" Penelope said with a sleepy voice.
"Pen, its 7:30 are still asleep?" JJ asked
"Oh my god! I didn't hear the alarm clock. I'll be right in." Penelope said frantically.
She hung up with JJ and ran to her bedroom. She grabbed her clothes from the closet and ran into the bathroom to shower. She was ready in less than 20 minutes and was running out the door. She hadn't thought about her fight with Kevin until she started driving. She knew that Kevin had a problem with Derek. He was very insecure when it came to her friendship with him. She tried to reassure him many times that Derek simply didn't see her that way. Kevin couldn't understand her relationship with the team much less with Derek. He always accused Derek of being a player. He said that Derek would do or say anything to get into anyone's pants. He simply couldn't understand why she would befriend someone like that. By the time she'd made it to Quantico she knew she'd need to talk to Kevin and apologize for her reaction. But she also knew that she'd have to end their relationship. It wasn't healthy for either of them. She wasn't sure he'd accept just being friends, but she was sure that she couldn't accept anything but friendship from him.
Everyone was in the bullpen when she arrived. Normally everyone would be gathered together at someone's desk and they'd all be drinking coffee and laughing this early in the morning. Not today. They were all hard at work at their desks. The bullpen was quiet. Something was definitely off. She opted to go straight to her office and turned around without being noticed and walked down the hall.
After she had settled in, she called JJ.
"Hi JJ, I'm just calling to let you know I'm in." Penelope told her
"We're waiting on Hotch. He went to get his ear checked out this morning. As soon as he gets here he wanted us all to meet in the conference room." JJ told her
"Another case?" Penelope asked.
"Not that I'm aware of. He wouldn't say what it was about, just that he wanted everyone there." JJ said.
Penelope noticed something different on her desk. She reached out to pick it up. "Uhh Ok JJ just let me know when I need to get up there." She said and hung up before JJ could acknowledge.
She held the most beautiful glass figurine. It was an Angel with large flowing wings standing next to an hour glass filled with sparkling sand. She had never seen anything like it. On the base was a tiny light that turned different colors and when turned on illuminated an engraving that said "I can wait"