seeking self

- - - - - - - --,-- - - - - - -

Her hands are heavy. Weighed down by that cleaver, weighed down by the pressure? She's going to swing it, just like last time and the time before; that whore and her pimp, two more bodies and a little bit of guilt.

An awful lot of blood.

Her heart is heavy. Weighed down by her conscience, that teensy-tiny bit of self that's still there despite the clawing and the maggots and the footsteps falling out-of-time, the heart that beats for two and the breath that's not yours.

She doesn't want to do this anymore.

She thinks bodies, she thinks bags, she thinks blood (and doesn't blood stain like hell? On her fingers, on her clothes, on her past; and it won't go away, won't ever-)

Stop.

And she likes to think that maybe, just maybe, the stars are crying with her, for it must be very lonely being a star. They think they can manage, steadfast, headstrong, so sad and cold with nobody else; nothing at all…

As Rena looks at Keiichi her eyes sparkle, cleaver held slack in one shaking hand, the moon so vast and grey and desolate it makes her cry even more because she can't… She would never…

"I don't want to."

- - - - - - --fin;,-- - - - - - - -

an; i loved this scene at the end of higurashi no naku koro ni. it nearly made me cry D: