Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin.

A/N: This is another one shot that I just thought of and wanted to try to articulate. Hope you like it.

LET HIM BE HAPPY

It was late, but he could not sleep. It was one of those nights where the sting of guilt overwhelmed him. It was one of those nights where not even sleep would take him.

He sat against the wall of his room. How could God let him be happy? How could a man who had stolen it from so many others find happiness? He just couldn't help himself. He would see her smile and that was all he needed. She made him happy. He, who had broken so many homes and ended so many unprepared lives; he of all people, had found contentment.

He would try to absorb all the pain. He would sit there and let his wandering mind punish himself for as long as he could bare it. He would let the separation of hitokiri and rurouni that he had fought so hard to maintain in front of Kaoru and the others, dissolve and devour him slowly. He would acknowledge Battousai's blood as his own.

The demon's blood burned uncontrollably through his veins. The pain reminded him that he did not deserve such ecstasy as she had given him. He was a murderer, a murderer who forgave himself enough to allow joy to overpower guilt and ruin. How ever hard he tried to cloud his bliss with convinced unworthiness, the warmth broke through and filled his body to the brim.

Why must God torture him so? He didn't want to be happy.

His eyes shot open. He could no longer take his own mind's reprimand. He wiped the cold sweat from his forehead and took a deep breath, stroking his pained scar to relax his quivering body.

Quietly, he stepped out of his room, needing to feel the cold chill of the night air; he needed to get away from himself. Just for the night.

His feet barely made a sound as he silently walked through the barren hallways.

He stopped in front of her door. He wanted to see her; he wanted her to make him happy. His hand pressed against the shoji. He froze. He couldn't. He couldn't let himself try to be happy.

His head joined his hand in asking for support from the only thing keeping him from his beloved. He, a miserable excuse for an atoning man, could not make her happy. For a moment he let his body pine for her.

A soft noise broke the silence. He pressed his ear against the thin barrier separating him from happiness. Kaoru's voice leaked faintly through to his ears.

"Please God," he could imagine her soft lips forming the delicate words. "Listen to my prayer once more." He listened more intently. "You have given Kenshin your forgiveness, yet he still will not forgive himself." She was praying for him. Disbelief distorted his thoughts. To the angels of heaven, she was begging for the sake of a demon. "Please God," such delicate words. "Let him forgive himself," such sweet words. "Let him be happy." Suspended forever in his mind, her words shook his entire foundation. They filled his lungs and ears so he could no longer hear or breathe.

All this time he had been praying against his happiness, when all this time she had been praying for it. No wonder he always found himself smiling. What God could weigh the words of a demon heavier than those of an angel? He felt the joy echo persistently through his body; she had wanted him to be happy! The one person he lived for, the one person he would die to protect, the one person he wished to keep by his side forever prayed for his own happiness.

Maybe if it was for her, he thought as his eyes closed in contentment and his lips curled up into an irrepressible smile, maybe if it was for her, it was okay to be happy.

A/N: Okie, well that's what i came up with. It's strange how it turned out kinda religious, since i'm not, but what can I do?

haha

I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you for reading.

please no flames :)