Konoha Gakuen: Baka Teme! by Kinoo Kyuu

Pairings: Sasuke x Naruto. One sided; Kiba/Gaara/Shino/Shikamaru/Neji/Hinata/Itachi x Naruto, and of course, one that will clash against our main, Sai x Naruto. Some Akatsuki members and their poor flirtation skills to get to Naruto's heart. Not to forget Kakashi x Iruka!

Warnings: R for future lemon. Sakura-bashing, yaoi goodness, and attempts for humour. Lots of swearing!

Disclaimer: THAT PERSON LIED! –sniff- I haven't gotten the signed contract stating Naruto is owned by me! -gets smacked-

Kinoo: I had the awesomest birthday party ever! I is loving it very very much!

Ino: … Yeah. So much that you forgot your super-terribly-poor grammar!

Kinoo: You know what, you know what?!? –raises fist-

Ino: … WHAT? -eyes twitching-

Kinoo: SHUT UP! –hurrily puts fake sharingan contacts on to make a dramatic effect-

Ino: … What a piece of homo…

Kinoo: … What a piece of gay ass slicked in used, molested, baby-powder…

Ino: How can you molest a baby powder?!?

The two rambles on. So therefore, this voice thingy or whatever you call it, will serve you the continuation of Chapter 6 + 7…

Continuation of Chapter 6: 「大きらい！」 – I hate you!　

&

Chapter 7: 「つき青！」-　Let's go out！

You might be wondering why I sound homo. But on the contrary, I am falling in love with a guy… I shall; I however, only love Naruto! Therefore I am not gay, I am… umm… uhrgh..

NARUTO-SEXUAL!

Anyways, you should CHECK. THIS. OUT.

Currently, successfully holding a pink, lacy apron I walk towards the kitchen. It is then when my eyes met with Naruto's and he tilts his head to the side, not yet seeing the apron on my hand.

MUST. NOT. RAPE… YET!

"Huh? What is it Sas- Mother…" Naruto's eyes have grown sizely and the streaks of horror could be seen on his perfect face.

"Sa-sasuke, why are you holding that… thing?" his small finger points at me. He slowly backs away until he hit the wall where he is trapped and can no longer escape from the almighty me.

I love life.

Our little angel watches fearfully of the every little movement I create. In a smooth moment, again, my eyes bore into his and he cringes when I swoop down to kiss him after sliding the super sexy apron on. His mouth is opened slightly and I am not wasting the opportunity to put my wondering tongue in while tying a bow on his back.

He pushes me and tries to escape but couldn't due to him being trap between me and the wall, my new best friend. (1.) Naruto sighs and tries his other option: to untie the apron.

"Honey, that is NOT acceptable. Wear that or wear NOTHING at all," I smirk. Looking more horrified than ever, he sighs, and goes back to whatever he was doing.

And DAYUMMM, I'm LOVING that outfit. While trying to keep the x-rated thoughts out of my already contaminated mind, I sit down and watch the performance of our little kit.

"Here you go. If you want seconds, there are still more on that plate," Naruto puts down fried rice, deep-fried tempuras, and a tomato salad on the side. He also puts down a blended strawberry juice.

It looks de-lish-ious. (2.) I take a little bite, and…

WOOSH. The best meal ever had!

"Whoaa… where'd you learn to cook like that?"

"I was forced to cook for myself and a roommate of mine. I had the best roommate who teaches how to cook at the time… he's SUPER AWESOME!" He says while sipping on his own juice, eyes glimmering in happiness.

WHAT ROOMMATES?!? IMMA KILL THAT DUDE!

"Ho… What's his name?" Hiding my jealousy as I swallow, getting up for my second.

"'s Chouji! My sister's boyfriend!" Oh, okay… we'll let that go then…

"You have a sister?"

"Yeah, she's 2 years older than me. Hopeless at cooking and eats like a beast!" Naruto says, emphasizing the last word strongly.

"What's 'er name?" I say, munching the last bite and is getting up for my third. (3.)

"Her name is Ino. I call her Ino-neechan!"

"Hmm… interesting. You should tell them that we're dating now," I grin, gulping down on my juice and looking slightly disappointed realizing that there's nothing left on the plate. I put away the plates to the sink and run the water. My eyes never left his terrified expression.

"NO. FREAKING. WAY," he yells.

"Why Naru-chan, you hurt my feelings…" I fake a hurt-sobbing look.

"Do you want to lose your life? If my dad is scary, then my sister is monster-ly scary. She'll cut off your fingers like cutting off a piece of paper. If you think your stoic expression is cold, hers can freeze off the Amazon," he says gloomily.

"Hn. Whatever," Deep inside, I feel scared. To death. Like, ACTUALLY.

But I'm planning to keep that to myself.

It's been a truly fun day having Naruto come over and wearing that cutesy stuff. Uhmm… Next time, I should buy him some panties…

"Sasuke!" A sexy voice snaps me from my naughty thoughts, and I start focusing on the owner of which I'm currently gahgah-ing over.

"W-whaa?" I stare at the godly figure in front of me.

"I said I'm gonna leave now, it's almost 10," he huffs.

"Why don't you just sleep over?" Yeah, and have some fun with daddy…

"No, thank you, I rather not," he pouts while putting on his shoes. Damn, I don't want to rape but that pout is just plain torture…

"Awwe, why not?"

"Because it involves you, me, a room, and a bed."

"Isn't that the purpose of sleeping over?" I ask rather innocently. (4.)

"No, especially when there's action involved," he replies while deepening his frown.

"You're no fun." I reply back. Maybe he wouldn't be such a 'tighty' when we're in bed… Oh wait, maybe he still will after all… (5.)

"Well… you're a sick man with twisted, super perverted mind."

"Hn… well, you're a godly, super sexy, and totally beautiful angel."

"Shut it, Uchiha-sensei. Behave," Naruto puffs his cheek and begin walking towards the door.

"I don't feel like it, sexy. Feel free to change my mind," I smirk, finally reaching the doorway and leans to the side of it, trapping him inside.

"Move," he demands, tucking his arms in front of his chest. Awww, what a cutie.

"Sorry, you need a ticket in order to pass," I widen my smirk. "And that ticket is; a kiss."

"I dun wanna," he pouts under his breath.

"Well too bad, then you're staying here," I sing-song my winning speech.

"Uugh, fine," he says and leans up to kiss my cheek. "There. Can I go now?"

And hot damn, the feel of his lips on my skin is incomparable. However I manage to reply towards our little angel.

"No."

"WHAT? WHY?" He yelps, looking devastated.

"I never said that the ticket is cheap," I raise an eyebrow, and puts up a finger pointing to my lips. "It has to be paid right here."

He grumbles, and mutters, "I hate you stupid octopus."

"That pains me Naru-chan, being compared to a sea-animal… But I'll make you love me tonight since you're staying here." I grin.

Poor baby, but it's for your own sexy good.

Before I realize it he stands on his tip-toe to bring my head down for a quick peck. My lips met to his pouty pink ones. I instinctively put my arms around his waist to deepen the kiss. (6.)

Don't bug me, I'm in heaven.

I force my way in to, again, make a journey to the wet cavern and hungrily devours it. After a few minutes, I discover that the lack of air seems to be my biggest rival…

We pull apart from each other and he struggles to get out of my arms.

"Okay, payment done, now will you please let me leave," Naruto says, looking up at me pleadingly.

"… Fine," I say, he lets out a sigh of relieve. "But I'm picking you up tomorrow morning."

He stops and then quietly says, "Okay."

"Good, and tomorrow we'll announce to everybody that we're officially dating."

"…"

"Honey, it means we're going out."

…

..

.

"WHAT?!?"

1.) Sasuke's friends with a wall, how lovely.

2.) Yeah, don't ask. He has a habit of being stupid… at all times…

3.) What a fatty! LOLLLL.

4.) I would love to see Sasuke innocent. But that's clearly impossible since I suspect that he's born perverted… =w="

5.) Yep, definitely a sick man.

6.) How many times has he kissed Naruto?! What a snobby person!

Kinoo: I know, I know, I'm a horrible person… The chapter is to short blah blah blah... having not updated this fiction for a long time, etc. But school is being a BITCH with a capital BITCH!

Ino: … *sweatdrops*

Kinoo: Yeah, and my earphone broke and I can't concentrate! *pulls hair*

Ino: … *sweatdrops even more*

Kinoo: And I have lots of people wanting me to match them!

Ino: … Why? *still sweatdropping*

Kinoo: … I'm a matchmaker! (I seriously am ;D! I've matched 18 people now… Very proud!)

Ino: … *drench in sweat*

Kinoo: *turns toward readers* Well, next chapter is about Minato and Kushina's appearance! And of course, our beloved Kakashi and Iruka as… you'll soon find out! Thank you for the reviews! Keep it up people!