Warning: Crack lies ahead.

Emperor Alvis of Grandbell was dead. Celice had soundly beaten his ass, and the people of Grandbell came in droves to celebrate.

But Alvis didn't care. As his spirit left his body and drifted into the afterlife, he knew it was for the best. Oh, he had so many people to explain himself to...Sigurd, the other Grandbell lords, Diadora...

Then there was Azel.

There had always been tension between the two brothers of Velthomer, and when Alvis prohibited Azel from leaving his side after the battle at Bahara, he thought the boy would hate him for the rest of his life.

But as irony would have it, Azel died ten years later from a fatal illness and too much stress. Alvis smiled a little at the memory of Azel's last words:

"I never hated you. I always loved you, you've meant more to me than my own father did." (Strange choice of words, considering Azel never knew the man.)

And now they were about to be reunited. Suddenly, Alvis was worried. What if Azel's last words had been a farce? Lulling him into a false sense of security so he wouldn't suspect the asskicking he was going to get? Alvis hadn't even explained to Azel why he'd killed everyone and kept him away from his wife! Speaking of which, Tiltyu would probably kick his ass, too. It was kind of his fault that Hilda tortured her to death, right?

I'm screwed, the dead emperor thought as he heard the spiritual equivalent of footsteps behind him.

"Alvis?"

The sound of Azel's voice caused all of Alvis's unease to melt away...for a moment, then it came back twice as strong.

"...So we meet again," he said, turning to face his brother. "How have you been? Has the afterlife been treating you well?"

Azel smiled.

"Sometimes it's a bit boring, but it's been wonderful seeing old friends again," he said. "Lex and Tiltyu welcomed me with open arms, and I chat with Sir Sigurd on a regular basis."

"And Diadora?" Alvis asked.

"She's with Sir Sigurd again, but she's been looking over you," Azel said.

"I suppose it was inevitable that she'd return to him," Alvis sighed.

"How are your children?" Azel asked. He'd met with Yuria and Yurius a few times, and spoken with Cyas shortly before he died.

"Cyas and I barely speak. He's currently helping citizens in Lenster and Thracia," Alvis said. "Yuria is well...as well as one can be when held prisoner by Manfroy. And Yurius..." Alvis trailed off. "Like Diadora returning to Sigurd, it was inevitable that he would..."

"Turn to the dark side?" Azel nodded sadly. "I'm very sorry."

"It can't be helped...by the way, I saw your two children briefly during that last battle. They're looking well...they have their mother's spirit," Alvis said, quickly changing the subject. Azel smiled.

"I've been watching them...especially Arthur, I was worried when I found out he was left alone in Silesia," he said. "And Tinny came out stronger from being raised by Queen Hilda, I think."

"...How is Tiltyu? She's not holding a grudge against me, is she?" Alvis asked tentatively.

"She's forgiven you enough not to fry you the minute she sees you," Azel laughed.

The two became silent again, as the biggest question of all hung over Azel's head. He hadn't taken the chance to ask while they were alive, but...

"Alvis?"

"Yes?"

"...For all these years, I've..." Azel bit his lip nervously. "Why did you do it? Why did you lull everyone into a false sense of security only to have your troops lay an attack on them at the last minute? Why did you betray Sir Sigurd?"

Alvis swallowed hard. For years, he himself didn't know exactly why he'd done it. All his reasons-Diadora, Sigurd being a threat, the good of the empire, Manfroy's influence...all those reasons were only a small part of the big one, the core reason he'd done all that.

"Well, Azel...I suppose you have the right to know the truth, now that we're both dead," he said. "The truth is..."

Azel was silent. Alvis took a deep breath, and his face became more serious than Azel had ever seen it before. This was the moment of truth, the moment he would finally understand...or hope to, anyway.

Alvis spoke, slowly and deliberately.

"I did it for the lulz."

Azel fell over.

"Say that again?" he said.

"The lulz, Azel, the lulz!"

Alvis was laughing now, and Azel looked like he was about to kick his ass.

"You..." he growled. "Big brother...you...are...the most terrible person...in...the...whole...world...!"

"But it's so much fun!" Alvis grabbed a megaphone out of nowhere. "Attention afterlife! I betrayed Sigurd for the lulz!"

Everyone followed Azel's lead of falling over and looking like they were about to beat the ever-loving snot out of Alvis.

Five minutes later, everyone was laughing.

When you're dead, you tend to get over things fast.