Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim; that belongs to Jhonen Vasquez. Nor do I own The Legend of Sleepy Hollow; that was written by Washington Irving, and this is based on the Disney version..
This is my first story, so please be gentle.
Chapter 1: IchaZim Crane
Greetings inferior earthlings! I am the Almighty Tallest Purple. Bow before my superior narrating skills as I read you this story …huh? No, I don't read Earth literature! I skim.
…
Don't tell Red, please?
Anyway, since it's the time you earth creatures call "Halloweenie", I decided to read this book called "sleeping hollow" or something…fine, fine, "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow!" I admit it, I read inferior Earth literature! Get off my case!
Even if you've heard this story before, stick around; this one is SPECIAL. See, when I read, I like to make people I know the characters. Makes it more relatable for me and more exciting for you! I'm a genius, aren't I? Now, if I could invent the easy-open snack bag…
So, enough of that. Imagine, if you will, a time in ancient Earth times, when "Man Hats an" was but a simple market town. In the bosom (he-he) of one of the little coves that indent the shores of the Hudson River, lies the peaceful little village of Tarrytown.
It's a quiet, peaceful place, and yet somehow… foreboding (That means scary, in case you stupid earthlings couldn't understand). For it abounds in haunted spots, twilight tales and local superstitions. The best known story concerns a iti…itina.. a homeless school master who once roamed the village. Indeed some say his melancholy spirit still haunts the vicinity. (Oooo—scary!)
The silly earth settlers described him as a most unusual person. He was short (ha ha ha!), and green-skinned, with an idiotic piece of black hair to hide his antenna, and goofy contact lenses to hide his Irken red eyes. And of course, always with him, was his brain-dead robot, stupidly disguised as a green dog.
"Moooooo!! I'm a dog!! See me moo!!"
"Silence GIR! We don't have any lines yet!"
"Okey-dokey!"
Ahem…It was late one drowsy autumn afternoon when the strange figure arrived at the peaceful village of Sleepy Hollow. There were all kinds of silly humans there, but the silliest was a big-headed kid named Dib Membrane.
"My head's not big!!"
Yeah, yeah. Anyway, Dib was the kind of person who believed in aliens, Bigfoot, etc. The other humans made fun of him for this—they only believed in ghosts.
"Hey, you're Dib, right? Did you chase off that Xlord? Heh, heh."
"It's Xlorg, yes! No thanks to all of you!" Dib looked at his sister for help. "Tell him Gaz!"
"Shut up. I'm at the last level."
That was how Dib's life went—until the day that the schoolmaster came to the village. Dib was the first to catch a glimpse of the odd schoolmaster; he was looking through his telescope to see if he could find "brain-mites." Seeing him strutting along, Dib couldn't help but exclaim:
Odds bodkins! Gadzooks!
Look at that old spook of spooks!
The other townsfolk soon noticed him as well. Instead of just talking about him, however, they started talking about him…in song. (Don't ask me! You earthlings made the musical!)
Who's that comin' down the street?
Are they sticks or are they feet?
Small and squat, green skin and bone
With clothes a scarecrow would hate to own
Yet he has a certain air
Debonair and devil-may-care
Two girls, Gretchen and Zita by name, poked their heads out of their windows.
"It's the new schoolmaster!"
"What's his name?"
Zim gave a curt bow.
"IchaZim. IchaZim Crane."
IchaZim, what a name
Kind of odd, but nice just the same
Funny pan, funny frame
IchaZim, IchaZim Crane
IchaZim may be quaint
May be odd and maybe he ain't
Anyway there's no complaint
From IchaZim, IchaZim Crane
And though the arrival of the pedag..pede.. schoolmaster gave rise to mixed emotions, the townspeople all agreed they'd never seen anyone
Like IchaZim, IchaZim Crane
Read and Review, please!