Title: The Happiest Among Men
Rating: K
Pairings: Raito/L
Warnings:AU, genderswap
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note
Word Count: 2568
Summer came early that year. Before Raito knew it, winter had melted away into spring, strewing their paths with white cherry blossoms that reminded him of cotton, and spring flared into summer. He didn't mind summer. Well, he'd never had any real opportunity to wonder which season he liked and which season he didn't like. For throughout his youth, he had spent his time burying his nose in a book and occasionally playing football at school with his friends. (He had never been into sports; intellectual games were more his thing.) Raito always considered himself to be practical, rarely having time to indulge in the passing fancies of his peers. He'd gone out on a few dates in college and high school but he could never really relate to the girls and boys staring deeply into each other's eyes, sighing and saying "I'll miss you" when one partner in the relationship went to the washroom.
Of course all that had changed when L came into his life (though this was more complex than it sounded). Rather, he thought that he should start with the Death Note, because otherwise, he would never have met L, never have undergone the deep, meaningful, life-changing experiences and become who he was now. Granted he did not remember anything about the Death Note and sometimes he couldn't believe that he had done all those things, but he tried to see things in an optimistic way and believe that everything had worked out for the best.
Sometimes, he didn't think he deserved all this bliss and in the back of his mind, he was waiting for the consequences of his past actions. But perhaps, guilt and not being able to remember was punishment enough. And he was grateful that L had never abandoned him (he didn't deserve her); she stuck by him patiently through thick and thin and for the three years that they had been together, he didn't think he had ever been happier.
He was waiting in the To-Oh Library now, the most unromantic place in Japan. But that was all right, for he felt next to no affinity with romantic, candle-light dinners in expensive restaurants (he couldn't afford those restaurants anyhow; he'd been saving up whatever he earned for a house once he graduated. And even though he knew that with L's income, he'd never have to work in his life but he felt it was his responsibility to take care of her).
He'd asked L to meet him here a while ago. Said he had something important to tell her. As he flipped through the pages of his criminal law text book - finals were knocking on the door - and glanced at his watch, he wondered if he was moving too fast.
What the problem was that he wasn't even sure if L was the marrying type. The brooding detective had always struck him like a protagonist from a gothic novel, choosing to be alone even after finding the right partner, and it was unpredictable how she would react to his proposal.
But he had to try.
For Raito Yagami did not give up anything without trying first.
A shadow fell over his shoulder on the white pages of the text book and he looked up to find L hunching behind him, pale hands shoved into the pockets of her loose jeans, her onyx eyes pensive.
"Oh, you're here." And he smiled at her, a perfect image of calmness.
She gave him a slight nod and scuttled over to sit opposite to him, lifting up her feet in her trademark style.
Which in hindsight, is the reason he chose to sit at a table in the back corner.
It wasn't that he was ashamed of her idiosyncrasies. She claimed that she had to sit in that fashion in order to reason well. But for the question he was about to ask her, maybe it was best that she not think.
"I had a hard time looking for you," she confided in a low, deep voice. "I thought I'd find you at the front tables or something."
"Yeah, they were already taken when I got here," he said. "Usually the library's empty but students pour in right before exams."
"Hmm." L nodded and looked at the high shelves of books. "It's nice. Very big."
"You haven't been here before?"
"I didn't get the time to." And then, she gave him a small smile.
"How's Watari?"
"He's doing all right. His eldest daughter just gave birth to another baby boy. He says I should go visit when I can."
And at the mention of Watari's new grandson, Raito envisioned a little house with him, L and their own brood of children, smart and beautiful.
"Tell him that I want pictures."
"Sure thing."
There was a moment of silence, and Raito pretended to be engrossed in a list of procedures to prosecute a convicted felon. And then, without looking at L, he said in a low voice, "I asked you to meet me because...there's something I'd like to discuss with you."
"All right?" she looked at him expectantly.
He paused. He had no idea on how to say this. He remember that in his old life, charming girls was a piece of cake, but he saw now difficult it could be to deal with someone you actually cared about.
"I - I was thinking that maybe...it's time we made things official."
There. That hadn't been so hard to say. It had come out smoothly enough, with the right mix of hesitation and certainty. When Raito looked up, he saw L staring at him with a blank face.
"Well, we've already made it clear - to each other - that we're together, right?" she said.
Inwardly, he rolled his eyes. For the sharpest detective in the world, she could certainly be dimwitted.
"I mean, I want you to marry me," he explained, and he didn't like the way it sounded because he'd wanted this to be more romantic (even though they were in the library), not awkward and L making stupid deductions.
She blinked owlishly. "Oh."
He felt depressed and frustrated all of a sudden because a) he'd made a fool of himself and b) now was the moment of truth - and she was probably going to be scared off.
"There's no rush, Ryuuzaki," he said quickly, in an attempt to distract himself from his own feelings, and calm her down a bit. "I just...it felt right. I wanted us to officially commit to each other."
L looked at him. "How long has this been on your mind?" she wanted to know a moment later.
"A while." After an instant's hesitation, he added quietly, "I'm sorry if that came as a shock."
They said nothing for a while and Raito went back to pretending to read his book and make notes while his heart hammered from anxiety and L took time to compose herself. He looked up at the sound of her voice.
"I - I've never thought about this," she began.
"Take your time..."
"I'll need to." Because she didn't want to rush into anything.
And the rest of their afternoon was spent in heavy silence and the uneasy shuffling of pages.
It had been three days. Raito was actually keeping track of everything on the calender as he looked up from his book. He circled in black the last day he'd talked to L and though he didn't want to admit it, he was even counting the seconds.
"Onii-chan, dinner's ready!" Sayu called from downstairs.
He wasn't hungry. He couldn't tell if it was stress from the exams or stress from L not talking to him. With a heavy sigh, he put away his book and went downstairs, murmuring a greeting to his father, who had just returned home.
"Your exams must be coming up," said Mr Yagami at the dinner table as they ate.
Raito was not aware of how his food tasted as he chewed it. "Yeah. They start on the first."
"Study hard," said Mr Yagami, even though it wasn't necessary because his son always studied hard.
"Have some more rice, Raito," said Mrs Yagami. He did not protest.
Perhaps he'd rushed into things with L, he thought, sifting through the long white grains in his plate with his chopsticks. Yeah. Maybe he had.
I mean, what was I thinking?
Asking L to marry him had undoubtedly been the wrong thing to do. It sounded like an episode from a juvenile romance, where the hero asked his sweetheart to elope with him even though marriage was not the best decision. Shortly after, they found themselves at odds with their surrounding circumstances and realized that they were too young and they should've waited, but their foolish marriage had put a strain on their relationship and now, they must go their separate ways.
What if L wanted to go her separate way? What if mentioning Watari's grandson was her way of telling him that she wished to move on to greener pastures instead of hanging around in Japan for him? Maybe that was why she didn't want to get married...
Or maybe you've just been a fool in asking her so soon that she needed time to recover from the shock, said a voice inside Raito's head. You shouldn't be surprised if she dumps your pathetic behind for this.
But that would be a sign of cowardice and even though L liked to work from behind a computer, she was not a coward.
No, he would not panic. This is what he would do. He would go on with his life, patiently waiting for her to call. She said she needed time and time she would get. Besides, he wasn't helping anyone by fretting so much.
He went back to his room. She'd call when she was ready.
And call she did. Two days later. Well, she didn't actually call. She sent him an SMS in the middle of a quiz, as though she were afraid of someone finding her through voice identification.
Can you meet me in the park in the afternoon?
Raito made sure that the professor had her back turned before he discreetly typed back a reply.
All right.
And then he took a deep breath and went back to his quiz.
Raito's shirt was damp in his underarms; he hated sweating right after a shower, because that sort of destroyed the whole point of taking a shower. He'd arrived at the park an hour early, paced behind the swings where the children amused themselves, ignored the stares of parents who wondered if he was a sexual predator. He'd already sent L a message that he'd arrived. Now where could she be?
He wasn't sure why she'd chosen this park for their rendezvous. However, the place held a special meaning for them both because it was here, years ago in the late afternoon that he'd told her that he loved her. He recalled finding her on a bench, curled up like she wanted to hide away from the world. And he himself had been so confused, having read an extraordinary journal that recounted deeds he had no memory of doing.
He knew that giving up the Death Note also entailed giving up all memories associated with it, but even if his love for L remained after that, then surely...
"Did I catch you at a bad time?"
He turned around to find L standing behind him. Her gaunt face was unreadable but till now, it didn't seem like she had any bad news to give him.
"Earlier," she explained, as though he had not understood. "When I SMS'd you."
Ah. "Not really," he shrugged. "I was taking a quiz."
"Oh. How did it go?"
"Pretty well." When you consider that you've been on my mind since that day, he added silently.
"Good." She nodded.
They took a little walk to where an empty bench was, and sat down. Raito tried to keep his cool, preparing himself for any undesirable answer. He tried to see things from a more optimistic point of view - if L refused now, she might agree later, and by that time, he'd be in a better position as well. Whatever happens, he maintained to himself, happens for the best.
L gestured with her chin towards the playing children. "Do you remember this place?" she asked, even though it was a silly question.
He looked at her in surprise. "Of course I do," he answered.
She nodded again. "You know, I come here sometimes to reflect. It's such a peaceful place. And I remember the first time I came here." Here voice sounded far away. "It was such a difficult time. Do you remember?"
It was Raito's turn to nod. He did remember but surely not as well as she did.
"I don't think I ever felt so lost and destroyed as I did then," she said quietly, as though the words were hard to get out. "I wasn't sure if I would ever be the same again. That whole journey - chasing Kira - left a mark on us all, in different ways. I didn't expect to end up like that, with no idea what to do. And when I saw you walking up to me..." She paused for a moment. "I was so happy – so relieved because it all worked out." She smiled at him.
Raito didn't know what to say. Except that he'd never imagined that she could say no to him.
"So I gave it a lot of thought." She looked down at her feet and curled her toes. "And my answer is yes."
He blinked. Eyes bulged like a fish's. She'd said yes?
"Oh," he said stupidly, even though he should've said something more charming like "You've made the happiest among men." But L would never fall for that romantic cheesiness; hence, a simple "oh" would have to do.
However, that did not change the fact that she had indeed made him the happiest among men.
They were married a few days after his exams. It was a quiet affair at the notary office and they were both wearing casual clothes (Raito would have to be a fool to think that L would put on a dress for this occasion). Watari was their witness and he was smiling as if to say, I knew about this all along.
Raito rolled his eyes. Yes, I'm sure you did.
The funny thing was, the excitement didn't hit him until he saw his name signed beside L's (a alias, of course) that this was official, that they were indeed man and wife, and there was no turning back unless he wanted to be a coward.
They celebrated by having lunch at a really expensive restaurant, for which L paid ("It's my gift to you," she smiled) and Watari took a picture. L wasn't too keen on having her picture taken, but Raito didn't think it was such a bad idea, considering the fact that it was a picture that had led them to this.
Years later, Raito would find that although he had that charming house and the woman of his dreams, there was still no brood. He would have problems with his father and things wouldn't be perfect. But L would be there and that was the closest to perfection he could get.
A/N: Gah, it turned out cheesier than I intended. I was going to write a Near/Sayu wedding fic but I realized I didn't have enough time. Hope you liked this al the same.