Disclaimer- All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

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Author's Note:

Hi. This came to me out of nowhere. I did the first verse as a joke on the Artemis Fowl Confidential message board, and just tonight, I decided to finish it. Hopefully, it'll be good for some laughs… I do not own Artemis Fowl or Blame Canada.

Enjoy.

Luv
Creatress
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Blame Minerva

In Book Five,
A new girl came our way
No one really likes her much
but she will come back one day
Should we blame Eoin Colfer?
Or blame his editors?
Or should we blame Artemis' puberty?

No, blame Minerva
Blame Minerva
She's annoying to the last blonde curl
Her "genius" makes you want to hurl

Blame Minerva
Blame Minerva
Holly needs to form a full assault
It's Minerva's fault!

Don't blame Foaly
For making A/M jokes
He was just trying to tell us
That the whole thing is a hoax.

And don't blame Butler
He agrees with Foaly
He was just playing along
To poke some fun at Holly

Well, blame Minerva
Blame Minerva
A/H almost – ALMOST! – slowed down
Since Minerva came around
Blame Minerva
Blame Minerva
She's not even a major character anyway

Remember that scary moment when we thought that Holly died?
And all the pain that Artemis felt before he saved her life?
Should we blame Leon Abbott?
Should we blame the magic sword?
Should we blame Lady Heatherington Smythe's Hedgerow?

D'Arvit, NO!
Blame Minerva
Blame Minerva
She's such an annoying Mary-Sue
And that little brat Beau, too

Blame Minerva
Shame on Minerva
For…
A/M gives us tears
A/M makes us jeer
Hormones are not cool
And Arty's not a fool
Act fast – this can unnerve ya
Before you do anything,
Blame Minerva!

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I am Canadian!

Review!