Love Lost, is Lost Forever

By: Urooj

She strolled down the park smiling at her six- year- old daughter. Her dark hair flowed freely as the wind passed through it, her emerald eyes shimmered with happiness.

"It's been a while, Natsuki." She heard someone call. Hearing that voice made her eyes widen, the shimmer had disappeared as shock registered in her eyes. She spun on her heels, meeting lime green eyes who had shoulder length red hair. She seemed a few years younger than Natsuki.

"Nao."

Nao grinned when she heard her name. Indeed it had been a while. The two stared at one another, before Natsuki broke the silence.

"What are you doing here, in a park?"

Nao grinned cattishly. "I saw a lonely girl with dark hair and beautiful eyes, why would I miss asking her out for dinner?"

Natsuki looked at Nao, narrowing her eyes. "You never learn do you Nao? Even after all these years..."

Nao kept up her playful mood even though she knew what Natsuki was talking about. "Yes, I know what happened back then, but we were young, and wild! I mean, we had to know what it was like being with others, right? Plus there was so much keeping us apart. A little space didn't hurt."

Natsuki looked away. "That wasn't a little space. That's not love."

"Yes! That was love. But I wasn't ready to commit and we both acted stupid. I mean, c'mon we never really respected each other, or even knew how to comfort each other. Heck, we bickered and couldn't understand what was going with each other."

Natsuki smirked and moved back slightly. "And you think you know what love is now?"

Nao smirked back, staring Natsuki in the eye. "I know better than I did ten years ago."

Natsuki's stare wavered slightly, and then she sighed. "Look Nao, I'm not here to start an argument," She looked around, spotting a bench. "Let's sit there, and just chat. For old time sake, what do you say?"

Nao nodded. They both walked towards the bench and sat down. Natsuki sat all spread out, with her ever-present wild aura with a hint of something new added- elegance. Nao chuckled at the sight.

"What?"

"You never change do you? But you still got that air around you, even when you sit like a pig."

"Oi!" Natsuki's eyebrow twitched. Nao just laughed more. The two of them sat silently for a while, staring out at the playing children.

"So what are you doing as a career Nao?" Nao smiled evilly at Natsuki and raised something. The next thing Natsuki saw was a flash.

"DAMN IT Nao!" Natsuki cursed as she rubbed her eyes.

Nao fell back on the bench and laughed hard. Natsuki stopped rubbing her eyes and glared.

"T-that was classic, pup! I'm a photographer."

"As I can tell, with that flash..." Natsuki mumbled.

"What about you?"

Natsuki looked at Nao. "I'm a principal at Garderobe Academy by day! And a mechanic by night!"

Natsuki grinned and Nao laughed at Natsuki's super heroic speech.

After all these years, they still felt good with each other.

"So what about my dinner offer?"

Natsuki looked at Nao, and smiled sadly. "I can't Nao."

"Look, Natsuki, I know, you know, why I'm here. I want you back."

Natsuki looked up incredulously at Nao. The dark-haired than willed herself to stay calm. "I'm sorry Nao, I can't do that either."

Nao got up in frustration. "Natsuki, look! I know what happened long time ago was my fault because I was an idiot, not knowing what I want, but things change, and I've changed. I haven't been able to date anyone properly ever since, so give me a chance!"

Natsuki looked at Nao calmly. She desperately wanted to give in, but couldn't. The whole cycle would repeat again. And anyways, Natsuki was loyal to only one person...

"Nao, I can't go out with you! You know why people don't go back to their exs? It's because the whole hell cycle starts again and I don't want that crap!"

"Natsuki! I won't repeat this crap that happened ten years ago! We won't repeat that crud, I know it, because we've grown!"

Natsuki was loosing her patience. "Nao," She growled. "I can't do it. I can't have anything more than friendship with you any more."

Nao clenched her fist. Her jaw was tight as she said the next few words. "Why not, Natsuki? Why the fuck not?"

Natsuki had seen that anger before but this time she wasn't afraid.

"Because-"

"Mommy! Mommy!" A little girl with brown hair and green eyes had run to Natsuki. She hugged her tightly.

"Sweetie, what are you doing here?" Natsuki asked, comforting the child who seemed a bit distress.

Nao was quieted by shock throughout the exchange.

"Mommy asked me to ask you to come home for dinner. I saw this woman yelling at you and I got scared. Mommy, is she hurting you?" The girl asked so innocently that Natsuki smiled warmly at her.

"No, no Kiyo. This is a friend of mine. Her name's Nao. Why don't you go and say hi?"

Kiyo inched forward and Nao tried to smile friendly at the child but failed miserably at keeping a friendly atmosphere. Natsuki, a mommy? How could Natsuki have a child?

Kiyo, sensing an ominous atmosphere, moved back and hid behind Natsuki. "Mommy..." She whined. Natsuki chuckled.

"Say Kiyo, could you and mommy head home without me? I need to finish up here with Nao, and then I'll come home for dinner! We can even have your favourite, mac n' cheese!" Kiyo's eyes lit up and she squealed.

"YAY! I'll go tell mommy right away! See you soon, mommy!" The girl's form disappeared as quickly as she came. Natsuki smiled fondly.

"So you're married eh? Funny, you always said you'd see me living in a house with a picket fence." Nao sneered.

Natsuki's eyes darkened. "After you had left, I was devastated. Nao, I felt dead! I couldn't move! Life felt so empty. Until I met her, in my second year of university. She pulled me up on my feet, and gave me the definition of love that I always wanted! She brought me back to life, and I love her, Nao!"

Natsuki said the last line with so much passion and love that Nao's heart broke. Nao had lost, and she had to face it.

"B-but! We can still be. Together! I'll accept your daughter and you, just come back to me Natsuki!"

Natsuki glared. "You had your chance, and you blew it. Someone else is having a chance, so why shouldn't I let them?"

"Because!"

"Because what? You're Nao Yuuki, and you think that just because you think you know the definition of love, or commitment for that matter, that you'll just charm me? Nao, that happens in fairy tales, and to be honest, you haven't grown at all. You can't just expect love and commitment, you got to earn it!"

Nao looked at Natsuki, in pain.

"So you should move on because I'm not available. I'm sorry you couldn't date others, but I hope you can have a picket fence and a white house with someone else." Natsuki turned around and walked away as fast as she could. There were too many emotions running through her, and she was so close to crying right now.

Nao looked at Natsuki's retreating figure. She dropped to the ground, banging her fist against the ground.

"But I dreamed of having a house and a picket fence with you, Natsuki..."