This has taken forever, and I apologise. I have many excuses, but you don't want to hear them. I am over my block and have completed my Big Bang fic, so I should be updating all of my WIPs frequently from now on.

Many thanks to my dear Citikitti for the beta. I own nothing, as usual.

Chapter 5 – Saturday and Sunday

After their movie – and I use the term very loosely – Bella and Carlisle arrived back at the hotel, purchases in hand. It bothered me that Bella seemed to have no issue with Carlisle spending money on her, when she practically pitched a fit when I even suggested the possibility of doing such a thing.

Carlisle lovingly wrapped the traitor Alice's bag in tissue and placed it in an empty suitcase. Alice. I had no idea how to deal with her treachery without her seeing it coming. She'd allowed me to make an ass of myself, while she probably sat back in a posh Paris hotel suite and laughed at me. We freaks of the undead world were supposed to look out for one another, not sell each other out for our own amusement and designer handbags. She was going to pay, no matter how long it took for me to get back at her.

"How was your morning?" I asked.

"Really great," Bella replied brightly.

Carlisle's mind filled with bizarre images of a man in a dress and I made a face. Bella saw me looking at him and glared at me, knowing exactly what images I was likely seeing in his head. I sighed internally and asked her if she needed a hand unpacking her things. It was ridiculously difficult to keep my opinions to myself.

I discovered just how difficult it was as the weekend progressed. They went to see several more films, which, unbelievably, seemed to get even worse as they continued. I bit my tongue and busied myself with something pointless as they sat around and discussed them afterward, laughing the entire time. How could something so foolish amuse them like it did? I'd always known I was stubborn and something of a smartass, but Emmett's claim that I was a snobbish know-it-all snob I had always made me scoff. I was beginning to think he might have been correct in that calculation.

While we sat around on the last day -- Bella enjoying her room service while Carlisle and I lazily packed up -- Carlisle grinned at me.

This was difficult for you, wasn't it? Staying quiet when you were bursting to put your oar in?

I sighed and nodded discreetly, then looked towards Bella and shrugged. She was already upset with me; why break my promise? Carlisle smiled again and nodded.

It's difficult for our kind to change, to adapt to new situations. I'm proud of you. I know how difficult it can be at first, and it's doubly so for you, since Bella is human.

"How was it difficult for you?" I asked him, too quickly for Bella to hear.

I was used to being at the hospital constantly, and I needed to make more time for Esme. She got very angry with me before I realised I was neglecting her.

"I don't remember that," I said, confused. A disagreement between Esme and Carlisle was a rarity, let alone a full-blown argument.

Carlisle chuckled. Lucky for you.

I saw a few brief flashes in his mind that made me feel extremely lucky indeed. I cringed and he laughed again, this time loudly enough that Bella looked over at us questioningly.

We all change if need be; we'd all do anything for those we love. You know, I quite like my office the way it is, but Esme is redecorating this weekend. Truthfully, I liked it the last 4 ways as well, but I never say a word about it. Forever is a long time, and we all fill it doing what we must.

He clapped me on the back and headed into one of the bedrooms to finish packing his clothes.

~*~

We rode back to Forks in separate cars, having left both the Volvo and Carlisle's Mercedes in the long-term airport parking. I suggested that Bella ride with Carlisle instead of me, hoping to allow them a bit more time to spend together, seeing as I had interrupted their bonding weekend.

I could hear them laughing and carrying on in the car ahead of me, but it no longer got under my skin. I was glad that Bella loved my family, and that they loved her in return. It made thoughts of changing her slightly less tortuous, knowing that the others would keep her happy, in case she came to blame me for the existence I'd thrust upon her.

Esme's presence was once again the only one I could sense in the house when we arrived. I helped Carlisle retrieve the luggage from the trunk before following him and Bella inside. Esme was waiting next to my piano.

"Well, we were busted," Bella told her, tossing a shopping bag on the sofa. "We went to a film festival."

Esme laughed. "I told Edward to leave you be, but he's a stubborn one."

Bella made a noise of accession at which Esme grinned.

"What sort of film festival?"

"Oh, Ed Wood. Horror, sci-fi, that sort of thing."

I couldn't hold in my huff of derision.

"And that is exactly why Edward was not invited," Bella added, violently jabbing her thumb in my direction.

What's the expression? Mother knows best?

Aloud Esme said, "Carlisle, I didn't know you had any interest in horror films."

"Only really awful ones," he replied with a laugh. "I hadn't watched any in years, until Bella mentioned something."

"Until I saw the autographed poster of Vampira you've got hidden in your office you mean," Bella exclaimed, her eyes bright with excitement. "I still can't believe you met Vampira, Carlisle. Did you guys know he met her?"

Both Esme and I glanced at Carlisle, curious. He looked embarrassed.

Edward, if you feel any vestige of guilt over the horrible things you've thought about me these last weeks, you'll change the subject right now.

Oh my, now why would he want me to do that? I raised an eyebrow at him and felt a large, toothy grin spread slowly over my face. I saw it reflected in Carlisle's thoughts. Now he really looked worried. Perhaps I wasn't over the whole lying business after all.

"Really, Carlisle," I said with exaggerated interest. "You never mentioned it. How did that go?"

I will get you back for this.

Bella started laughing. "Irony of ironies, she wanted to bite him! Tell them the story, Carlisle."

"No, really. It was silly," he attempted to deflect. I was having none of that. I hadn't seen Carlisle look so uncomfortable since… well, ever.

"I'd like to hear the story," I pressed. "In fact, I'm sure we'd all love to hear it."

Carlisle opened his mouth, then closed it immediately, his eyes focused on the wood floor.

"Well," Bella said, apparently giving up on Carlisle, "he waited in line for her to sign his poster, but she was interested in giving him more than just her signature. Wasn't she, Carlisle?" She laughed again. Oh, this promised to be good.

What? Uh-oh, Esme was angry – a very rare occurrence, and therefore extremely frightening.

Carlisle adopted his most innocent expression. "She only offered to bite me – it was something she did often, pretending to be a vampire like she was. It was her shtick."

"Did you let her?" Esme asked, her voice laced with warning. Her thoughts, unlike her quiet, deadly voice, were careening wildly.

"Of course not. She obviously would have realised I wasn't right when her teeth met my unyielding skin. And just my luck, with her delusions she would have known exactly what I was."

That's the only reason?

I should have said I didn't allow her to because I didn't want her to. Er…

My darling Bella, not realising what a precarious position Carlisle was already in, added, "I forgot the funniest part – she basically told him that biting him would be equivalent to them sleeping together in vampire terms." And she promptly burst out laughing, her face red from embarrassment.

Esme's internal monologue was all over the map, but one thing was for certain – she was not impressed. At all.

Esme was a normally sweet and gentle being, but when it came to Carlisle, she could be irrationally jealous, something I had never understood before meeting Bella. I often thought that it was fortunate that Esme did not share my ability, for if she were privy to the thoughts of women in his presence her carefully guarded control would slip constantly.

She pulled Carlisle to his feet one-handed and proceeded to back him down the hallway towards their bedroom. His voice was low, soothing as he attempted to calm her. "Darling, it was nearly fifty years ago. It was silly; she didn't mean anything by it…"

"Where is this poster? Why have I never seen it?" she snapped, cutting him off.

"It's on the back of the closet door, in the office."

"It was on the back of the closet door," Esme growled.

"There is no need for that, my love. I'll give it to Bella, all right? Bella adores Vampira."

"Vampira," Esme spat. "I'll show you Vampira."

I cringed as Esme's plans for Carlisle began their assault on my brain. I quickly tuned her out and focused on Bella's worried eyes.

"I think we had better leave," I told her.

"I didn't mean to get him into trouble," she said in a panicked voice. "Do you think he'll be okay? This is all my fault."

I chuckled. "He'll be fine, Bella. He's indestructible."

And it was a good thing Carlisle was virtually indestructible, because if Esme's thoughts were anything to go by, he was certainly going to need to be.

~*~

One silly epilogue and a flashback to go, and this one is finished. :)