Shockwaves

Note: I do not own Princess Princess (if I did, there'd be a hellova lot more gay than there already is). I've also never read the books, only seen the anime, so while I realize that the next Princess candidates were already chosen, I'm not using them because I don't know who they are.

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It had all ended too fast.

The Princess' Goodbye Ceremony had come and gone, and the entire school found themselves in a heartfelt moment. Students were sobbing, saying their final farewells to the Princess days of Tooru, Yuujirou, and Mikoto, knowing full well they'd see the boys again if they tried. But then they wouldn't be Princesses. Mikoto, as had been expected, could not be happier about the end of his Princess reign. He sported one of the largest, most genuine smiles of all the past times he had to wear the dresses and the makeup, and waved an eager goodbye to the crowd with his free hand. Yuujirou was latched onto the other hand.

Yuujirou seemed to be far sadder than Mikoto, wearing a melancholy smile, tipping his head to the side just so as he looked out onto his fans. He was sadder, Tooru believed, or was at least far better at faking it than Mikoto.

And Tooru?

It was hard for him to concentrate with his hand slipped into Yuujirou's. It was a line of the three Princesses, all holding a hand as they left for good. Tooru waved with his free hand, though it was hard to see the crowd. Through the fabric of their gloves, Tooru could feel Yuujirou's body heat, slipping into his veins, warming his face to a modest blush. His sapphire eyes were cast downwards, looking at the edge of the stage they stood on, decorated just so with loads upon loads of flowers. When Tooru had first seen it, he had wondered how much all those flowers had cost. Arisada told him that it didn't matter; the Princess budget could stand up to a few hundred thousand yen spent on flowers.

Tooru admired these flowers now, because it was easier to admire them than the face standing next to him. Yuujirou was so beautiful. Tooru had known that ever since he first saw the boy, but after a while it had taken on a more intimate feel, that word 'beautiful'. Tooru wasn't sure when it had happened, when he started developing feelings for his fellow Princess. It could have been after he kissed him, which was a very likely situation where gay feelings would end up being discovered. But Tooru couldn't help but think that it was somewhere before that. He hadn't made a large fuss about being kissed, and he hadn't hit Yuujirou or anything, so Tooru doubted that unless he discovered he liked the idea of Yuujirou kissing him as he was kissing him, that wasn't the time he fell for Yuujirou. Really, he couldn't have discovered he liked Yuujirou kissing him during the kiss, because his mind had done a complete blank at the very moment he could feel Yuujirou's breath against his lips.

The ceremony ended, and the three unlocked their hands behind a curtain. Mikoto went on about how he was finally free and that now he could be a normal boyfriend for Megumi, but Tooru tuned him out. He wanted to enjoy the residual heat that radiated from where Yuujirou touched him. It spread through his body, linking with his heartbeat to create waves of heat that spread down to his toes.

"Are you coming?" Yuujirou's voice slipped through Tooru's daze, and he looked up. The two were going back to the Home Economics room, to return to their boy clothes and lock away their final Princess dress. As Tooru handed the frilly outfit over to Natashou, he couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness, like he was handing away something that had become so close to a part of him that it just felt alien to not have it. Natashou seemed to not notice, and spirited their dresses away to wherever he was keeping them, Tooru wasn't sure he wanted to know. If he looked at them, it would just be a reminder of what he didn't have anymore. He cast his eyes downwards again and turned around, noticing he was alone in the room. Mikoto had left rather loudly, taking out his cell phone so he could call Megumi and arrange a date. Yuujirou had slipped out like a ghost, away from Tooru. He sighed, and left the room.

Spring break went by too slowly.

Every day seemed to drag on, and Tooru was left with agonizingly long days where he felt a part of him was missing. He enjoying spending time with his family, his aunt and uncle were so very kind. He still did not see much of Sayaka, as she had been forced to go to a counselor for her 'issues'. Tooru was rather glad for that. Sayaka still scared him, and whenever he had a few moments where he was able to sit down with her, though his uncle was always present, he couldn't help but remember all the psycho things she had done. What she did to Yuujirou. Yuujirou. Tooru thought in circles now, an indefinite loop that lasted the whole break. He was so glad when school started again, and merrily entered his second year.

It felt alien to not be situated in the Princess Room, instead located in a regular room with a first year student for a roommate. He was a nice boy, Tooru found, who narrowly escaped becoming a Princess due to a long scar across the side of his face. He was told it had happened during an incident with a large tree. Tooru couldn't help but think whether or not Mikoto would have gotten a scar if that meant he wouldn't have had to be a Princess. Tooru adjusted fairly well and fairly quickly, he thought, and slowly got used to seeing the two other students dressed up in the frills and lace of their Princess costumes.

He got close to Atsushi, the raven-haired Princess who constantly came to Tooru for advice. He told Tooru that he had tried to talk to Mikoto, but he said he didn't want anything more to do with the Princess system. He admitted he would have tried Yuujirou, but the blonde scared him a little, so he approached Tooru. The blue-haired boy smiled and taught Atsushi what he could, and soon found the boy hanging off his every word as well as his arm. The boy had assured him that he meant nothing romantically by it, and Tooru found it almost comforting to have someone that wanted to cling to him, who needed him for support. But when Atsushi was in his Princess dress and ran through the halls, his heels clicking on the ground with each step so he could grab Tooru's bicep with both hands, Tooru found himself wistfully wishing he was a first year again.

Without even recognizing that he was doing so, Tooru found himself growing his hair longer and longer. When his bangs got to the point where they covered his eyes completely and the rest of his hair was getting close to his shoulders, Tooru asked Kazuto to cut his hair for him. When his roommate had asked him how short he wanted it, Tooru had replied, without even thinking, "Just the bangs."

He missed being a Princess, he realized. He really did. It had taken him a few weeks after that until he realized it, but in the middle of summer break, Tooru realized he missed being a Princess.

He was back at home for summer break. It felt odd to call it 'home'. He spent all his time at school, in the dorms, and even wished for a distance between his family after the entire Sayaka incident. As a result of this, Tooru found himself wandering the streets more often, sometimes for hours on end. He would always go out and buy something, whether it was a new pair of swimming trunks or even a few pastries for the family. He thought of himself as very lucky that the money he got from being a Princess hadn't come close to being dried up. At the end of last school year, Princess pictures had been bought like crazy, the students knowing this would be the last time they could see these Princesses like that.

As such, he was wandering through the streets like the day before, and the day before that, when his eye caught something. He stopped in front of a store and looked into the window, looking past his reflection at the clothing that lay beyond. In particular, there was a dress there, suspended by a mannequin.

It was a white dress, with a sweetheart neckline and puffy shoulders. The sleeves were brought in at the bicep, and billowed out freely, light crème coloured lace at the ends. There was a corset, the same crème colour, but with swirls of a creamy green caressing it in a delicate pattern. It laced up in the front, the same green colour that adorned the corset was used for the lace that was tied into a small bow. The skirt of the dress puffed out, filled in by multiple layers of semi-sheer fabric and lace. If Tooru peeked up just a little, he could see garters belted around the mannequin's thighs, straps hanging down off them to connect with loose socks, which again had green swirls around the rim. Platform shoes, as white as snow, were placed upon the mannequin's feet.

Tooru was enraptured.

Barely recognizing the movements his body was doing, Tooru walked into the store and went up to the counter, asking to find the dress he saw in the window. The woman raised an eyebrow, knowing which dress he was talking about, but not making any motion to fetch it. Tooru paled a few shades, and then the white in his face was replaced by pink as he realized how this must look. "It's for my sister." He told the woman, giving her as genuine of a smile as he could muster. "Her birthday's coming up, and I wanted to get her something special." Satisfied with this response, the woman behind the counter went and got a copy of the dress, gathering everything down to the white shoes, and rang it up.

"That'll be 43,000 yen, sir." Tooru almost frowned; he hadn't realized dresses like that would cost that much. But then again, Natashou only ever made all his dresses, so he had never been exposed to the purchase of them. He pulled out a few bills and accepted his change, taking the bag with the outfit with him as he exited the store.

Sneaking the dress into his house turned out to be a bit of a challenge, as his uncle was right in the living room, and surely would have questioned what was in the bag as soon as he saw it. The bag was, after all, pink. He managed, hiding the bag from view by standing behind a chair when his uncle happened to look up. He raised an eyebrow when Tooru told him he hadn't bought anything, but didn't press anything. Tooru hurried into his room and locked the door.

He wondered why he had bothered to buy it, really. It was a whim, an impulse, and Tooru couldn't think of a moment in his life now where he would wear the damn thing. But, he realized, he didn't completely like his life as it was now. He knew something was missing, and he could point out a few things: being a Princess, and Yuujirou.

Yuujirou had been avoiding him, whether it was on purpose or not, and Tooru found he couldn't bring himself to try and talk to the boy. Just looking at him made his cheeks flush. But he couldn't go back to being a Princess, either. It was impossible, but maybe, Tooru thought, he could have the fun of being a Princess again. He had a dress, and while it hadn't been made especially for him by Natashou, Tooru felt a certain spark ripple through him when he laid his eyes on the dress. Laying it out on his bed, Tooru felt the same desire, the same impulse to put it on.

He tried it once during the summer break, when his aunt and uncle were taking Sayaka out somewhere, Tooru didn't bother to remember where. All he knew was that he wasn't interested, and told them to go on without him. Once he could no longer see their car from the window, Tooru ran to his room and pulled the bag out from under his bed and put the dress on. He pulled out a small amount of make-up that he had been able to smuggle out of Sayaka's room. He assumed she started to wear make-up in another attempt to get him to like her. Tooru put on some mascara and light pink lip-gloss, not liking any of the other colours that Sayaka had. He didn't particularly care for the shades of eye shadow she had. Once he was finished, he snuck them back into the same place he found the make-up and hurried out the door, locking it behind him.

Tooru found that he rather liked this. Just simply walking down the streets in his dress. People looked at him, both male and female alike, for their own various reasons. Tooru couldn't help but smile, and when some boys tried to pick him up, he just gave them his best Princess smile and said, "So sorry, but I'm afraid there's already someone I like."

His little expedition didn't last long, since he knew his family would be back after only a short while. He walked a few blocks upwards, took a quick circuit around the mall's plaza, and then headed back home. He locked the door behind him and walked to his room, slipping out of the dress and into his regular clothes. Just as he was finishing washing the make-up off his face, he heard the car pull up and his aunt's voice.

Tooru put the dress on a few times after he returned to school. He had found a nice place to hide it in the back of his closet, where Kazuto wouldn't be able to find it. He didn't really want to explain why he felt a longing to dress in women's clothing when he wasn't even getting anything out of it. Tooru didn't even know the answer to that question, so he saw no reason to try and get someone to ask him that. Kazuto, for his part, stayed oblivious.

When Kazuto was reconsidered to be a Princess and Tooru found the room to himself, he decided to wear the dress far more often. He found himself wearing it when he was doing his homework or just lounging around in his room, as well as when he snuck out and changed under the cover of the bushes and the trees in the nearby forest so he could go out into the town. Always, there was never much of a point of going into town. He would just walk around, dodge more boys that wanted to date the pretty lady they saw, and sometimes get a bite to eat. Once, he bought another dress, tired of constantly wearing the same dress over and over.

Tooru was lighter, happier than how he felt at the beginning of the school year. No longer did he feel the tugging at his heart whenever he saw Kazuto, Atsushi, and Moriya walk by in their Princess dresses. Now, he realized, he only felt a tugging at his heart whenever he saw Yuujirou walk by the halls, looking just as beautiful as he did before.