HOW TO ATTRACT BLUE-HAIRED MONKS (9/?)
BY : Chikki

I am extremely sorry that this is taking so long to update. kicks all the schoolbooks and notebooks on her desk I hate you! (-_-;) I have been so busy for the last few months, I barely had the time to go on-line. Then, when I do so , I find that my e-mail and homepage accounts have been deleted, so it means that I have to start form scratch all over again. sighs Oh well. As long as I have my Tasuki and Chichiri plush dolls, it's okay! (^_^) blinks, suddenly remembering that she doesn't HAVE Tasuki and Chichiri plush dolls Argh. (_) Anyway, please R&R

Warnings Tasuki has a _VERY_ impressive vocabulary of official "bandit" words, no da…so it's PG 13 for swearing…oh…and some yaoi too,na no da. (^_^)
Disclaimer Not mine. Never will be,na no da.

By the time that both the bandit and the monk had arrived at Chiriko's room, the younger seishi's screaming had not yet died out. Frantic now of the well-being of the green-eyed boy, Tasuki and Chichiri burst into the room with vigor.

"Chiriko?!" Tasuki called out fearfully. He gripped his tessen tighter as his eyes darted across the room. Unconsciously, Tasuki took note of the furnishings of the room and saw nothing out of the ordinary. This calmed the bandit down somewhat and he put down his tessen.

Chichiri, who had been running a few paces behind Tasuki, skidded to a stop right next to him. The older seishi leaned on the younger for support as he too surveyed the room critically. "Chiriko, no da?"

Opposite the door, where both men were, there was a large window. To their right was a small desk on which several scrolls rested, while the bed stood to their left. There seemed to be no sight of the youngest seishi. Pushing Chichiri behind him, Tasuki ventured into the room and scanned it's dark corners.

Both men spotted the youth at the same time and immediately rushed towards him. Chiriko was leaning against the wall that was opposite his bed, green eyes wide.

"Chiriko?" Tasuki asked anxiously, waving a hand back and forth in front of the other's face. "Whats'a matter?"

The child prodigy closed his eyes and held a hand to his chest in order to calm his breathing before answering. After all, after hunger, suffocation was probably his least favorite way to die. (Not counting evil spirits and bad monsters of course.)

After a few moments of waiting, Chichiri glanced at Tasuki from out of the corner of his eye. The other seishi was still frantically trying to attract Chiriko's attention. Biting on his lower lip, Chichiri stood up and looked around the room once more. A bright flash of color attracted his attention and he began to walk towards the bed.

"OI! CHI-RI-KO!!" Tasuki yelled into Chiriko's ear. It was then that the youngest seishi snapped out of the daze that he was in and acknowledged the presence of the others.

"Tasuki-san! Chichiri-san!" he exclaimed, trying to act normal. This did not work due to the fact that his face was still pale and it was quite obvious that he was still shaken. "What are you doing here?"

Tasuki ignored Chiriko's question and stopped down so that he was at eye level with him. He eyed him apprehensively. "What the HELL were you screaming for, Chiriko?"

Chiriko seemed visibly shaken by the question and he pushed his index fingers together nervously. "Oh that! Heheheh…It was nothing. I'm fine." He laughed, hoping to prove his point.

"Like hell it was nothing!" Tasuki hissed into his ear. "Chiri and I hightailed our way all the way here from the kitchen! You sounded like you were being tortured! Massacred! Barbecued!"

"Oh, and like that's not an everyday occurrence, Tasuki-san?" Chiriko said sardonically.

"Whad'dya mean?"

Chichiri came up behind Tasuki, abandoning the bright flash of color for the moment and slapped him good-naturedly on the back. "He just means that everyone within your vicinity has, in some way or other, been burned by your tessen, no da." He turned to Chiriko, smiling cheerfully. "Right, no da?"

The young boy nodded. "Hai."

"See, no da?" the monk declared triumphantly, his hand still on Tasuki's back. "Even Hotohori-sama has been burned, na no da."

"Although there are some people who have managed to escape the tessen…" Chiriko added thoughtfully, glad that the attention was turned away from the reason as to why he was screaming.

"There has?" Tasuki cried out, surprise evident in his voice. He stood up straighter and waved his tessen around furiously. "That's impossible! I made sure that everyone has went through it at least once! I mean, c'mon! A fuckin' bandit leader like me has to have a reputation, you know!"

As Tasuki continued to rant, Chiriko began to search his robes.

Chichiri looked at him curiously. "What are you looking for, no da?"

"My record book…" Chriko replied, looking into his sleeve. "I always carry it around…I just want to check on something."

"DAMN RIGHT!" Tasuki shouted, suddenly appearing before the other two seishi. "'Ya go and check on it! If word gets out that I had been living with fine-assed people for more than a year and I hadn't flamed any one of them, my bandit reputation is KA-PUT!"

"Maa, maa, Tasuki-chan." Chichiri said sympathetically, trying to calm him down before he burned Chiriko's room down to the ground. "I'm sure that your bandit reputation is still good and…um…impacting, no da."

Tasuki made a face. "Impacting, huh? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

The monk drew back from the cranky bandit and looked away. "I was just trying to make you feel better, no da." Chichiri then went into chibi form and sat on Chiriko's bed, bringing up both of his chibified hands to cover his face.

At the sight of the unhappy chibi monk, Tasuki's heart instantly melted like butter on a hot summer's day. He rushed towards the bed and gathered the crying chibi in his arms.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Chichiri sniffed loudly. "Ts'okay no d-eep!." He squeaked in surprise as Tasuki brought him in closer.

"I didn't mean it!" the ridiculously panicked bandit said, cuddling the chibi monk.

'Yes,no da!' Chichiri thought triumphantly, cuddling Tasuki in return, a happy smile on his face.

Chiriko rolled his eyes at the happy seishi before him. "Are you two done yet?"

Embarrassed, both seishi pulled away from each other and focused on Chiriko instead.

"Good." The young boy said, pleased that he finally had their attention. He waved a fairly large notebook in front of their faces. "I found my record book!"

Tasuki quickly forgot about his humiliation and scooted over to Chiriko, looking at the notebook over the younger seishi's shoulder. "Good! Now find out who I hadn't flamed yet!" He gritted his fangs and slung his tessen over his shoulder. "So that I can track down their asses and burn them to a crisp!"

At this comment, Chichiri visibly paled and he scooted further down the bed in hopes of avoiding the present conversation.

Smirking mischievously to himself at the monk's reaction, Chiriko innocently trailed his finger down a page in his notebook marked "PEOPLE WHICH TASUKI HAD BURNED". The page was divided into three neat columns. The first column contained a list of everyone in the palace, the second had a number of tally marks and the third consisted of Chiriko's personal notes.

Tasuki leaned forward in order to take a closer look at the page, smirking happily when he found Tamahome's name in the list. According to Chiriko's record, he had burned the young martial arts master a grand total of 217 and 1/8 times during his entire stay in the palace. Eagerly, he read what Chiriko had written down in his personal comments section.

"Ha! It says here that Tama-no-baka has Mitsukake healing him at least 4 or 5 times every week!" the bandit placed both hands on his hips and laughed out loud. "Damn, I'm good!"

Chiriko ignored his comrade's egoistic tirade and continued to search down the page. "Hmm…"

Chichiri, seeing that this was going to take some time, laid back on the bed, repositioning the pillows to suit him. He closed his eyes and sighed softly. This had been a very long day.

"There's just one thing I don't understand though." Tasuki said thoughtfully, placing a finger to his chin, and in Chichiri's point of view, looking extremely adorable in his confusion.

"What is it?"

"What the hell do you mean by saying that I burned Tamahome 217 and 1/8 times? How can I burn an eighth off somebody?"

Chiriko rolled his eyes and went back to searching his notebook. "You only burned his head, Tasuki-san. If I divided the human body into 8 equal parts, then burning his head would mean burning 1/8 of the entire body."

Tasuki blinked uncomprehendingly. "Oh."

"It's simple arithmetic, Tas-chan, no da." The monk said softly from his post on Chiriko's bed.

The young genius nodded in agreement to Chichiri's comment and turned a page in the notebook where more names were listed.

Tasuki, however, made the mistake of looking at Chichiri as he spoke and his eyes widened at the sight of his monk tangled up in the sheets and pillows of Chiriko's bed. A slight flush appeared on his face and he hastily turned around.

Thankfully, the monk didn't notice because Chiriko finally found what he was looking for. "A-hah!" he cried.

Both Tasuki and Chichiri looked at him curiously. "What is it, no da?" Chichiri asked, sitting up slightly.

Chiriko smiled at the both of them sweetly. "Well, I have located the names of the people which Tasuki hadn't flamed."

"YEAH!" Tasuki cried. "Now tell me their names so that I can go and REKKA SHINEN them outta this country!"

"Why are you so intent on doing that, anyway?" Chiriko asked, a disapproving look on his face.

"I told 'ya!" the primed bandit insisted. "It's 'fer my reputation! Plus, not getting flamed is supposed to be a special advantage." Seeing the amused look on Chiriko's face, Tasuki shrugged. "At least that's what Kouji said. Accordin' to him, only the people which the owner of the tessen really loves are the only ones that are free from the tessen's wrath."

Chiriko's eyes literally lit up at this new revelation. "Loves, Tasuki-san?"

"Yeah."

"So…" Chiriko looked up at the bandit innocently. "How does it work? Gomen ne, but I'm afraid that I don't understand what you are saying."

"Well 'fer bein' a child genius, 'ya sure don't catch up quick." Tasuki said, affection clear in his voice as he ruffled the younger seishi's hair. "It means that only those that I love are the only ones that should not be burned."

"Ohhh!" Chiriko's eyes widened in playful comprehension. "So only those you COMPLETELY love are those who are not burned?"

"Hai. Now get on with it and tell me the names already!" Tasuki exclaimed, one hand already poised above his tessen.

At the mention of this, Chichiri began to pay attention. He was, as Chiriko expected, very much interested in finding out who Tasuki had not flamed.

"But there's only one name here, Tasuki-san…"

"That's good! Because that means less work for me!" The bandit laughed loudly. "Who is it?"

Chiriko tapped a finger on his notebook. "Are you sure that you LOVE all the people that you had not flamed?"

As expected, Tasuki's patience finally came to an end and he grabbed Chiriko's notebook out of his hand. "YES! In order for a person to be NOT flamed, that person must be loved and cared for by ME! There! You happy?"

Chiriko nodded, a happy smile on his face.

Tasuki let out the breath that he did not know he had been holding. "Good." He flipped open the notebook that Chiriko had been holding and let his eyes travel down the list of names.

The other seishi in the room watched him intently as Tasuki scanned the page. Chiriko with anticipation and Chichiri with a feeling of dread.

After what seemed like an eternity, Tasuki finally found the name which did not contain any tally marks, indicating that the person had never been burned in his entire stay in the palace.

"I found it!" Tasuki yelled excitedly, he released the tessen from it's holder and squinted his eyes. He couldn't read fluently, after all. The little kanji that he knew how to read were all thanks to all the late night learning sessions that he had with Chichiri and Chiriko in the library whenever he can.

"Who is it?" Chiriko asked, barely contained excitement in his voice.

"Will you be patient?" Tasuki said, leaning to peer closer on the page. 'I think it's Ki- no, Thi-, Chi? Yeah, I think that first character means Chi…"

Chiriko waited patiently for what was doomed to happen next.

"Ah! I got it!" Tasuki exclaimed, triumph in his voice. "It's Chichiri! So the person that I hadn't burned at all because I completely love him is Chichiri!"

At this, Chiriko immediately burst into uncontrollable giggles and Tasuki looked at him in annoyance. "What?"

Then, a choked gasp coming from Chichiri's direction diverted Tasuki's attention and he looked at the monk, only to see his face redder than he had ever seen it before.

Chiriko finally recovered from his fit and he grinned widely. "What was that you said about only the people you completely love are those that you hadn't flamed?"

It was then that Tasuki finally got the implications of what he just said. He looked at Chiriko, who had resumed laughing, then he looked at the thrice bedamned notebook in his hands. Then very slowly, he turned to look at the monk sitting on the bed, who was trying very hard not to look back at him.

"Fuck."

----------

TO BE CONTINUED

Author's Notes: Now, the fun really starts! What was the flash of color that Chichiri saw? Why was Chiriko screaming? What had happened to Kazumi? Will Tasuki just come right out and just confess to Chichiri? (^___^) I'll try to get the next chapter out soon.