Beyond my Control

I stopped in my tracks when I sensed that I was not alone. Turning around, I saw her. She was wearing her black dress, blue beads and red bandana. The leaves of fall chased each other in the wind around her.

Her hair. Her eyes. Her smile.

Heat rushed to my cheeks. My heart throbbed loudly; its rhythm rang in my ears. My hands clasped together at the back of my neck. I somehow managed to smile too.

She was here. She was with me.

"Anna," I said with a little laugh. Her eyebrow rose. Heat left me and cold replaced its place. "You really came."

"Weren't you the one who told me to meet up with you, Yoh?" Kyouyama Anna replied icily.

"Yes," I mumbled, blushing. "I wanted to walk with you..."

I wondered what she would do next. A slap, a punch, threats of more training... The possibilites were endless. That's her next move because she's Anna.

"Hmmph, that's it?" she said coolly before nodding. "Let's go."

My jaw dropped open. Was that really Anna? I can't believe she agreed. That was so unlike her...

"Aren't you coming?" she snapped. I offered an arm for her that she pointedly refused by walking past me.

I shrugged. It was Anna after all.

We walked together on the road home. The sunset was pretty with bursts of red and orange while the golden light played in Anna's hair.

"Um, how was your day?" I asked in an effort to initiate conversation. It was lame and I knew it.

She didn't reply.

Silence reigned.

I watched her in the corner of my eye, squirming guiltily. It's rude to stare but I can't help it. The sunset lent a softer light to her beautiful face. To resist looking at her was like to turn down an offer to be the Shaman King.

It's hopeless for me. It's beyond my control.

I can't help it. Anna was like a thorny rose that you can't help but visit again and again. With every admiring look, I was consumed by stronger feelings. I have to admit that I love her.

I can't stop or suppress it.

Her scent. Her touch. Her warmth.

I'm crazy about everything about Anna. At first, I pretended that I didn't know or understand. But the fire gnawed at me until I gave in.

But how can I tell her?

Although she was my fiancee, it didn't mean that she loved me. It was an arrange marriage; we were too young to know any better. How will she take it if she knew that her fiancee fell in love with her?

I should stop and shout my feelings. It won't matter what I said. She'd understand, I know. But I can't do it. Maybe today, tomorrow or someday I can tell her.

As long as I'm here by her side, I have a chance. I can't control the future but I can try my best. It's unreasonable and impossible but I don't care.

My love for her is beyond my control.

oOoOoOo

A/N:

Written: 071803

Edited: 102308