Disclaimers: No, I still don't own the Harry Potter Universe. I don't own the unicorn in my garden either- James Thurber does, did, dead? This was just a short piece to keep myself occupied a while back when all the little Fragonknights were out snogging dragons. However, it was one of those things that took on a life of its own and now I have to go through and make sure that all the dangling participles at least make for an intersting misunderstanding or two. Having said that, why not step into my world and find one or two...

THERE'S A UNICORN IN THE GARDEN!

Harry Potter had finally grown into his potential. You ask, "What potential?" Well, stick around and I will explain most of it, in between my usual ramblings, digressions, and blatant diversions. The potential of which I speak is the fact that he has become the most powerful wizard in the whole world.

We know Harry is the most powerful because after he killed Voldemort (accidentally mind you, but accidents count right up there along with dumb luck) he dispatched five death eaters hexing him, four vampires stalking him, three werewolfies howling at him, two veelas fighting (actually that one was kind of 'iffy' because they were actually fighting over which one he belonged to when he hexed them both back to the old country), and then he beat Dumbledore in a game of skipping rope. He had to do the Dumbledore thingy so that he could round out the numbers- and to confuse Rita Skeeter who has never heard of The Twelve Days of Christmas.

Harry is also the most beautiful, effeminate, and sexiest little virgin ever to graduate from Hogwarts. (There was a rumor at one time that if a virgin ever graduated from Hogwarts that the castle would fall- now that that notion has been disproved students will have to find some other lie to justify their rampant promiscuity.)

At any rate the Ministry of Magic has placed a decree on Harry to the effect that he must produce a clutch of little Harrys so that the Potter line will not die out. Harry, after reading the missive from Mr. Frivolous Frump Fudge, aka Cornelious, has retreated to the ancestral seat of his family, aka THE DURSLEYs.

The story begins, obviously at the beginning, but for oratory purposes, when Harry moves back into the Dursley residence and immediately begins slinging cleaning supplies and the odd what-not out of his broom closet under the stairs (hereafter referred to as his 'bedroom').

Aunt Petunia, used to her freak nephew, only quirked a brow and asked in her fake posh accent, "Wot in the bleedin' 'ell are ye doin' 'Arry?"

"Cleaning my bedroom?"

Petunia glared. "You had best get that stuff put back away and get your angsty, teenage 'tude upstairs!" Her cockney accent didn't hold up for two goes.

"I want to live here!" Harry pouted. His lip quivered. His beautiful emerald green eyes glistened with moisture. His long spiky lashes swept down to collect tears the size of dewdrops. "Please, Aunt Petunia. I need some private space where I can be just me. I don't want to stay in Dudley's second bedroom."

Harry looked so pathetic that she could not resist reaching out to brush the hair off of his cheek. "You look just like Lily used to when you do that." She sighed as she looked into a distance Harry knew automatically was not there. He gave her a soft peck on the cheek and pulled out his wand.

Petunia stood transfixed as Harry magicked his room the way he wanted it. She was amazed that the little cupboard under the stairs could contain a four poster bed, complete with drapes; a walk in closet with matching dresser and mirror; a roll top desk with a padded office chair; and tucked behind a beautiful fifteenth century Chinese screen was a sunken marble tub and matching toilet. She particularly loved the fact that Harry had charmed the wall to be a one-way mirror so that he could look out into the back garden.

Then she squealed excitedly and pointed to the garden itself. Harry looked up at her bit of noise and blinked a few times. "Oh my! This may not be good, Aunt Petunia."

"Why ever not, Harry? The unicorns are absolutely beautiful!"

"Well, according to The Unicorn Book if a unicorn leaves its forest it can be captured or killed. I would hate for anything to happen to Lasting Hope and her mother."

Petunia dabbed a tear from the corner of her eye. "Who ever would have thought that I would see a unicorn? Look at me! I'm not a young girl any more. Why am I seeing them?" Her voice broke and she began sobbing.

Harry went to his Aunt and pulled her over to the love seat he had just added to the room so that he would have somewhere to sit besides at his desk or on the bed.

"Now Aunt Petunia, you need to stop crying. Everything is ok! There is a very simple explanation for Lasting Hope to be here. I will go outside in a few minutes and talk to her."

Petunia stopped sobbing and blew her nose on a tissue Harry conjured up. "Tell me about them."

"I have been planning to go into the medi-wizard for several months. I spent incredibly long hours working with both Madame Pomfrey and Hagrid in order to learn as much about magical medicine as I could before taking the entrance exams so I could go to Cambridge Magical Medical College this fall. Anyway, I was down at Hagrid's hut working with him when Hope's mother came to me from out of the forest. She had gone into labor, but her baby was breach. She came to me for help."

Petunia looked at him wide-eyed. "You helped deliver a baby unicorn?" Her voice was full of incredulity. "That is just so amazing!"

Before Harry could say anymore they both heard the door slam open and Dudley calling for his mother. "Mummy? Where are you? Mummy? I need you, Mummy?" His voice ran together in a litany of supplication as he called for his mother.

They sat and looked at each other as Dudley tripped over some cleaning supplies that were lying on the floor outside the closet. Then they became totally shocked as the door opened slightly and Dudley neatly stacked the items back in the closet without paying the slightest attention to the transfigured closet or the people in it.

They grinned at each other as Dudley wandered into the sitting room and began talking to his father. "Daddy, did you know that there is a unicorn in the garden?" He asked in his usual calm voice.

Vernon looked up at his great hulking son and nodded his head in an agreeable fashion. "Son, I can believe it. With that freak cousin on yours in residence here anything is possible."

"Have you seen them?"

"No! And I do not intend to go looking for them. It is enough that we now have cherry blossoms scenting the air, daffodils waving gently in a non- existent breeze, and a fish pond full of koi and water lilies." He nodded his head in the affirmative. "Yes, son, considering the fact that this time yesterday we had neither tree nor pond back there- yes- we are doing well."

A/N: OK, it is only fair to say that this story has been completley written...finished...but, I have the urge to rewrite parts of it. So, if you present any good ideas I might work them in. (No, this is not a bid for reviews, I like them, but I only want reviews that people want to write. I prefer that reviews fall into one of two categories; tell me how you think I can improve my writing of the story, or tell me that you are enjoying the story.) So, having said that, messaging works quite well. And, in case you are new to the story we have Marge bashing, and SLASH!