Lucas. Gekka Yun belongs to my sister, Kerrie Smith. Anyone else with a
goofy name does belong to me. The Couch really does exist, and it
belongs to Kerrie's action figures: Obi-Wan Jedi Duel, and Anakin
Tatooine.
Sofa, So Good
by Smitty
Obi-Wan Kenobi kicked the oven. Something inside crashed. He
frowned at it in disgust. He had gotten a good price on ghanak, an
underwater creature Qui-Gon once seasoned and baked as a delicacy, but
the blasted oven had gone and done...something bad that ovens do when
they're several decades old and not well made to begin with. Besides
which, he was quite sure Qui-Gon had not used bantha milk to sauté the
meat, but it was the only liquid they had in the house and Obi-Wan had not
known what else to buy. He had also gotten an amazingly low price on the
yahntahna, a purplish spice that glowed brightly against the still pinkish
meat.
"Fine, then," he muttered, yanking the pan out of the offending
appliance. "We'll do this the old fashioned way." He ceremoniously
carried the pan out of the shabby little house and placed it gently on the
ground. He collected an armful of the wood Anakin had cut, under duress,
of course, the day before. The boy was presently enjoying his reward: a
ticket to the day's Podrace. Arranging the wood in a pile, he pulled out his
lightsaber, using its blade to light the dry wood. In a matter of minutes, the
ghanak wouldn't have a chance.
"Hey, there."
Gekka Yun pushed her spikes out of the way and peered up at the
speaker. It appeared to be a small human boy with blond hair mowed
down in a very bad haircut.
"Hey. What are you doing here, kid?"
"My name's Anakin. I'm sorry you didn't finish. I was cheering for
you."
"Yeah, well, it's nice to have fans. Get outta here, kid. Isn't your
mom waiting for you, somewhere?"
"My mom's a slave on Tatooine. Obi-Wan takes care of me."
Gekka felt slightly bad. But not too bad.
"This isn't a place for kids."
"I used to Podrace on Tatooine. I won the Boonta's Eve race."
"Didja, now?" Gekka wrenched a twisted scrap of metal out of her
engine and gazed at it, wondering what it used to be.
"Yeah, but before that, I never finished, either."
"Ah. You know my record."
"It's ok. I still think you're a better driver than Lem Pokway."
"Thanks. Kid, you're in my light."
"Sorry." He moved over. "That's a scrap of coupling from the
cooling system."
Gekka squinted up at him, suspiciously. "How can you tell?"
"That pinkish stain on the edge...it's gunked-up coolant."
"Huh." Gekka turned the piece over and gazed at the
aforementioned stain critically. "Y'know, I think you just may be right."
"I know I'm right. I made a Pod all by myself. Fastest one ever
built," he added, proudly.
"They let a kid like you race?"
"Sure. Well, on Tatooine. When I was a slave. Mom hated it, but
Watto made me."
"So, your mom's not here, what's holdin' ya back, now?" Gekka sat
back on her heels, twirling a wrench idly between her fingers.
Anakin's face twisted into a grimace. A cute grimace, Gekka had to
admit, but definitely an unhappy expression for a little person.
"Obi-Wan said no. And there's no one to make him let me."
"That bites." Gekka finally gave up on trying to examine her Pod in
the fast-darkening arena and stood up. "So, this Obi-Wan character won't
let you race, but he don't care if you're out in town in the dark, talking to
strange women?"
Anakin shrugged. "I guess you're right. I should be getting back."
"Yeah." Suddenly, Gekka realized she was going to miss the kid's
insistent prattle. "Hey, you got some free time later on and feel like
souping up a Pod, come on by. I live 'bout half a klick, thataway," she
added, pointing over her shoulder.
"Cool...thanks! I'll see ya later!" Anakin's chubby little face broke
into a wide grin and he took off for the landspeeder and a dinner of
ghanak...cooked over an open fire.
"Anakin! You're almost an hour late! Where have you been? "
Obi-Wan was trying hard to keep his voice modulated. He looked
dejectedly at the dinner sitting on the low table. "The ghanak's cold. It
was going to be a good meal, too. I didn't use the oven. I thought you'd
like it."
"Obi-Wan....Master Obi-Wan...I'm sorry. It was just running a little
late, and..." Anakin was pretty sure he should not bring Gekka Yun into
this story. He was definitely sure he should not bring her invitation to help
with her Pod into the story. "I'm sorry."
"Anakin." Obi-Wan raised his hands and looked around for
someplace to sit. The only place he saw was the chair that sat a mere six
inches from the ground. He sighed and just dropped his arms. "Anakin."
"Yes, Master Obi-Wan."
"Just...sit down and eat. It's cold."
"That's ok. I don't mind."
Anakin let Obi-Wan tuck himself under the short table, then sat in
his own chair. The table was his fault, he knew, and Obi-Wan had been a
great sport about it, cutting down the chairs to fit, but he always wanted to
laugh when he saw Obi-Wan trying to fit his long legs under the knee-
bruising table. He cut into his ghanak, quietly, and raised a piece to his
mouth.
"Ob--Master Obi-Wan?"
"Yes, Anakin?"
"What is this?"
"It's ghanak sautéed in bantha milk with yahntahna."
"Uh-uh." Anakin shook his head. "Yahntahna's red."
"Is it?" Obi-Wan looked at his cold meal. "It was a very good
sale."
"Concentrate, Anakin."
"I am concentrating."
"You are not. You are fidgeting."
"The floor's cold. And hard."
"Those things are exterior. They are superficial."
"Superficial? My butt hurts!"
"Anakin! You will sit there and meditate, without fidgeting, or I
will tie you to a chair and levitate you upside down while I sing Wookiee
opera songs until I lose my voice."
"This is one of those things where you joke around without
laughing, right?"
"Try me."
"Hi, Gekka!"
Gekka Yun had not seriously expected to see young Anakin
Skywalker when she answered the knock on her door.
"Anakin. You're...here to help with the Pod?"
"Sure!"
"Oh, ok, well, come on in." She let him in to her somewhat messy
home. "Scuse the mess...it's kind of...well, no, it looks like this every day,
get used to it."
"Ok. Our place looks worse. We ran out of paint halfway through
the front and Obi-Wan can't get the colors to match. I think it looks kinda
neat."
"And he doesn't?"
"Guess not. He didn't look real happy." Anakin screwed up his
face into a regretful half-smile.
"He sounds like a real tight-ass." Gekka shoved a pile of clothes
under her sofa and picked up a jar of rendnar cream from the coffee table.
"He's ok," Anakin defended. "Well, ok, he's kind of grouchy
sometimes. Like the time we were meditating too long, and he couldn't get
off the floor."
"Ouch. You were meditating?"
"Yeah. He's been, uh...reading these books, lately. He kinda
stopped after that. His back hurt for a long time."
"Is he like, a geezer?" Gekka twisted open the jar and looked
inside. "Hey, you want a rendnar cream and jackleberry jam sandwich?"
"Sure!" Real food! "He's not a geezer. I mean, he's a grownup,
but not an old one. He's younger than my mom, anyway."
"I'm a grownup," Gekka pointed out.
"But not a real one."
"Thank you."
"Anakin! Where have you been?" The words sounded familiar to
Obi-Wan. He tried to figure out why. Oh, wait. He'd been saying them
almost every day for the last two weeks.
"Just...hanging around."
"Hanging around?" Obi-Wan started to press the matter, then
decided that just this once, he'd indulge himself in the bliss of ignorance.
"Very well. Are you ready for dinner?"
Anakin sniffed the air. "Sure." He didn't smell anything too foul in
the air, so maybe there was hope for dinner, after all.
"Good. Get your cloak. We're going to town."
"We are?"
"No, Anakin, that was just a ploy to get you in the speeder so I can
use the Force to make it whip around in circles and exact my revenge on
you for the last time I let you drive. Are you hungry or are you going to
stand around all day with that skeptical squint on your face?"
"I'm moving," Anakin said, making a run for the speeder.
Obi-Wan picked up his forgotten cloak on the way out.
"Ohmigod, Liana, you have to see the guy who just walked in."
"C'mon, Prill. This is Barant. You see one sex-crazed spacer,
you've seen 'em all."
"No, Li, ya gotta see this one. I don't think he's a spacer."
"Ok, wha--whooooaaa." Liana draped herself on the bar in the
direction of the young man who had followed a short blond kid through the
door. "Come to mama."
"Cute kid," Yolie added, leaning next to her. "Think it's his?"
Obi-Wan had found a booth in a corner where he could watch the
rest of the room. Anakin was squirming around, trying to get comfortable,
a formidable task for a young boy. A beefy man in an ale-stained apron
walked up to their table.
"You can't bring a kid in here," he protested.
"He's old enough, " Obi-Wan said mildly, waving his hand across
the man's vision.
"He's old enough," the man agreed.
Anakin liked taverns better than more formal restaurants. He could
run around and talk to the spacers. And Obi-Wan didn't have to worry
about him committing a major breach of etiquette. He consoled himself in
regard to his slightly unethical use of the Force by saying that this was
contributing to the good of the galaxy by fine-tuning Anakin's social skills.
As if they needed fine-tuning. That boy knew every spacer, trader, and
vender in town.
"I know one way to find out," Liana said, dragging herself off the
counter and arranging her blouse to produce the maximum amount of
cleavage. She sauntered to Obi-Wan's booth, the envious gazes of Yolie
and Prill on her back.
"Hi, there, handsome."
Obi-Wan looked up from his menu in surprise. In his experience,
barmaids tended to stand when taking his order. This particular specimen
was curled saucily on the seat across from him, twirling her dyed-purple
hair around one finger.
"Hello."
"My name's Liana...what's yours?"
"Obi-Wan. I'm pleased to meet you, Liana."
"Oh, I'm so glad to hear that." Her smile was brilliant. "Obi-
Wan...that's so unusual.
"Ah, well..."
"I was noticing," she continued, breathily, "that you came in with a
little boy. We were wondering if he was yours."
"Well...yes, I suppose you could say that--"
"Oh, and are you all alone with him?"
"Yes, I mean, there's no one else--"
"Oh, you poor thing!"
At last, Obi-Wan thought. Someone who understands.
"You have to come this week."
"Excuse me?"
"There's a few of us who have kids we're raising by ourselves and
we get together once a week and just talk. You have to be there. You'll
feel so much better knowing you aren't alone. If not for yourself, do it for
the sake of your poor little fellow."
"My poor little fellow?" Obi-Wan asked, blankly, looking over his
shoulder at his 'poor little fellow,' who was demonstrating how he restarted
the Pod when it stalled at the start of the Boonta's Eve race to a half-dozen
amused and rather drunk spacers.
"Here," Liana said, pushing a paper across the table. "This is my
address. Seven, tomorrow. Please be there. We're all counting on you."
In a whirl of skirt, skin, and beer-scented hair, she was gone.
"You're counting on me? For what?" Obi-Wan wondered. "Comic
relief?"
Obi-Wan managed to order dinner, curtail Anakin's attempt to
convince the bartender that he really was old enough to order an ale, and
avoid the purple-haired barmaid the rest of the night. He was exhausted by
the time they crawled into the speeder.
"You look tired, Obi-Wan," Anakin said. "Want me to drive? I'll
go slow?"
"Absolutely not," Obi-Wan returned, evenly. "We just ate."
Anakin watched his mentor start the motor and roll his shoulders.
He looked tired, and older than his 25 years. He made himself a pact to try
harder in training, and be better at meditating, and not be so messy...
Obi-Wan looked over at his dozing Padawan and smiled. It had
been a long day for them both.
"This is gonna be the biggest, baddest lightsaber, ever!" Anakin
announced, exuberantly. "It's gonna cut things up and slice up battle
droids, and--"
"And it won't work at all if you leave that power source on the
table," Obi-Wan pointed out, slouched in the low wooden chair, watching
his Padawan attempt to reconstruct his lightsaber.
"I'm not gonna use that one," Anakin announced. "I found a better
one."
"Anakin, I don't want you to use a 'better one.' This is a practice
lightsaber. We're going to fight with it. I'd much prefer you not decapitate
me during our first blindfight."
"I'm not gonna depacitate you," Anakin stumbled. "I'm gonna use
the Force. And you can use the Force."
"First of all, Anakin, the word is decapitate. It means to cut off
someone's head. And secondly, the Force is all-powerful, but it only helps
you as much as you can help yourself. And, as loathe I am to admit it, I am
far from perfect. There could exist a possibility that I may not be able to
notice my mortal danger, stop your lightsaber in mid-swing, and turn it off.
Use the other power source."
"Aw..." Anakin sighed and twisted open the top of the handle. He
pulled the cover off, and dumped the power source on the table. "You
wouldn't miss it..."
Obi-Wan hid a smile as he struggled out of the chair. "Keep
working. I need to wash up. I'm going out tonight."
"Really?" Anakin looked up from his work. "Whatcha doing?"
"I'm going to a party with dozens of beautiful women who will
hang onto every word I say, feed me gourmet food and entice me with
exotic beverages."
"Aw..." Anakin complained as Obi-Wan walked away. "I hate it
when he does that."
Teth NObcareW'snk and KOnaed Uwekl were cruising. They were
cool. They had a souped-up T-13, a packful of spice, low-slung breeches,
it was nighttime, and they were wearing mirrored speeder goggles.
"Hit it."
They were cruising the main drag of Barant. Teth had the radio
turned up and KOnaed was leaning out the side, trying to pick up women.
"Hey, Teth, the patsies!" KOnaed gestured frantically in the
direction of the small blue light that signified a STAP-mounted patrol.
"I'm speedin'." Teth pulled a hard left, shooting down an alleyway
and gunning the motor.
"We gotta lose the stuff!"
"I'm lookin', I'm lookin'."
"Where're you going?"
"I told you already," Obi-Wan said, smiling at Anakin as he
smoothed his hair back. "I'm going to a party."
"I thought you were lying again."
"A Jedi does not lie, Ani. On occasion, I simply describe things
from..." He shot Anakin a quick glance. "...a certain point of view."
"Oh, is that what that is." Anakin threw himself down on his
stomach on Obi-Wan's bed. "So, who invited you to a party?"
Obi-Wan wondered if the boy was trying to be insulting or was
truly curious as to who would find his crusty old master interesting enough
to invite to a social function. He decided it was the latter. "It's a group for
parents who are raising their children on their own."
"Mom never went to those parties."
"Was your mother trying to meet women?"
"Ew, no. Are you?" Anakin suddenly looked very serious.
"No, Anakin. Not really. I was told that I should come for your
sake, if for no other reason. Although I don't understand how leaving you
alone for the evening could possibly be beneficial."
"Now, run along, and do...whatever it is that you do," Obi-Wan
ordered Anakin, after feeding him a slightly undercooked dinner.
"No patience exercises?"
"Not tonight. No meditating, either. Go...climb your tree or
something. I don't care. Just whatever you do...don't let me catch you
smoking spices or anything."
"Deal."
"All right."
"You forgot your cloak."
"Right."
"I'm taking off."
"I'm getting my cloak."
Anakin waited for Obi-Wan to walk back inside the house, then
jumped into the speeder, hunkering down in the back, and pulling the
blanket Obi-Wan stored there over his head.
"My husband died last year and left me alone with three--"
"My lying, cheating, good-for-nothing-but-sex..."
"You had a husband, at least. Try and get a spacer to stick
around..."
Obi-Wan listened to the conversation of the eight women in the
room with half his attention. With the other half, he was analyzing the mug
of steaming beverage Liana had pressed into his hands when he had walked
in the door. It was dark and fragrant, with a strong taste and some
ingredient that made him hyper-aware and increased his atunement to his
surroundings. Qui-Gon would have cherished this stuff, he thought
happily, slurping down some more.
"Obi-Wan?"
"Uh..." Obi-Wan looked up to see the women looking at him,
expectantly. "I'm sorry...I was so enjoying this, um, Corellian coffee, did
you call it?"
Liana blushed and tittered as one of the other women filled him in.
"What's your story, sugar? Why are you all alone?"
"Well, I, um..." Obi-Wan fiddled with his cup as he felt the gaze of
eight angry women boring down on him. "It was very painful," he gasped.
"I'd rather not talk about it." He brought his hand to his forehead.
"I'm sure it's very painful," one of the other women spoke up.
"I'm sure he'd rather not talk about it," Liana cut in.
Obi-Wan wondered if he could be stripped of his Knighthood for
misuse of Jedi mind tricks. He slouched in his seat and listened to the other
women, guiltily.
"The worst part is feeling all alone," one of them said.
"Absolutely," he replied without thinking. "When you've spent so
much of your life with one person, and then suddenly, they're gone, and
there's this other person, and you just don't know them as well or
understand them..." Obi-Wan had a feeling he was babbling, but he didn't
seem to be able to stop. All the lonliness and insecurity he had experienced
since Qui-Gon had died welled up in him, flowing out through his
traitorous mouth. "I knew it would happen someday," he continued,
thinking of how eagerly he had awaited his trials, "probably someday soon,
but I never expected it when it happened, it just blindsided me."
"I know exactly how you feel, honey," one of the women nodded.
Obi-Wan wanted to thank her for her empathy but found he could
not speak past the rush of emotions. "I can barely take care of myself; I'm
pathetic," he admitted, "and I can't be doing Anakin any good at all. We
just didn't grow up in the same way. He does things I can't hope to
understand. It's like we're speaking different languages."
"I try to think of it as talking with a Wookiee," one of the women
offered. "You can't speak Wookiee, he can't speak Basic, but if you just
keep listening, you start to catch on eventually."
"It's horrible!" Obi-Wan finally exclaimed, ashamed of the words
torn from his throat. "We're near strangers!" To his utmost
embarrassment, he felt tears rush from his eyes. "The one thing linking us
together is gone and it isn't ever coming back. It's such a horrible, empty
feeling."
"There, there, now, honey," one of the women said, patting his
shoulder. "Go on and cry it all out." The other women came up to pat and
console him.
"Come on, now," another offered. "Let's get some good food in
your poor stomach. Imagine! Having to learn to cook after all these years!
Do you like boiled yert eggs?"
Obi-Wan's head popped up, immediately. "Do they have pahku on
them?"
"I wanna do something nice for him," Anakin told Gekka.
"Give him a keg and a naked woman. I hear that's a big seller on
guys."
Anakin wrinkled his nose. "Yeah, but he's Obi-Wan."
"Wow. This guy's starting to scare me."
"I want to make him a better chair."
"You made him a crappy chair?"
"Well, no, I made him a crappy table and he cut off the legs on the
chairs so they'd fit underneath."
"You know, every time I start to think this guy's too crusty to
move, you say something like that, and he starts to sound cool."
"Yeah, but he's real tall, and it's too low...and he looks all
scrunched up."
"Get him a couch. Men like to sit on a couch and drink ale."
"He doesn't drink ale. He won't let me drink ale, either."
"Does he hate couches, too?"
"I don't know. We don't have one."
"Make him a couch."
"Make him one?"
"Sure. Just make a wooden frame and pile on some cushions."
"We don't have cushions."
"We'll find some."
Obi-Wan shoveled a vegetable full of dip into his mouth.
"Can I have this recipe?"
"Of course! It's so easy! You just cream together milk and eggs..."
Cream together? Obi-Wan thought, swallowing uneasily. This was
starting to sound complex.
"...and never use that cheap bantha milk. It's nasty stuff...and
terrible for you. Would you like to take rest home?"
"May I?"
"Of course! Ani will love it!"
"I gotta get back. I don't know when Obi-Wan's getting out of that
party," Anakin told Gekka.
"Ok. We'll go cruising for cushions tomorrow. Want some
sandwiches to take with you?"
"Sure. Thanks."
"Yeah. I have some cookies, too."
"You have cookies! Wizard!"
"Yeah, uh..." Gekka's cheeks turned a slightly darker shade of
purple. "Yeah, the chick next door made them. Gave me a bunch."
"But Gekka, a bunch of guys live next door to you."
"On the other side."
"Little Wednal is so bad, lately. He never listens, he's out 'til all
hours..."
"Soala's been hanging out at the cantina...I hate that place...I'm sure
she's--"
"Such horrible things happen there..."
"I'm sure Teth is into spices. He's just never home."
"It's so hard raising a boy without a man around..."
"Anakin's so disrespectful," Obi-Wan declared to the woman next
to him. "He keeps insisting he wants to drive the speeder and the last time
he did so, he decided to run the thing around in circles. I nearly lost my
dinner." From a certain point of view, he mentally added. He had nearly
lost his dinner. Then he did lose his dinner.
"That's it?"
"Well...he makes fun of my cooking?"
"That's it?"
"Isn't that enough?" Obi-Wan was well and truly confused. As a
nine-year-old, he had been respectful of all the Masters, the Knights who
came to visit, and of course, the older Padawans, and even his own peers.
Respect was an essential part of the Jedi Code. One must respect the
power of the Force, the power others had over it, and the power oneself
had over it. To lose respect for these things would pave the way to the
Dark Side and open one up to other dangers. He was reciting this to
himself, when the woman beside him spoke again.
"But honey, he's just a kid."
He's just a kid.
The words echoed in Obi-Wan's head, long after he had walked
away.
Obi-Wan pulled the speeder up to the side of the little house.
"You can come out, now, Ani," he announced. He was met with
silence. "Did you have a good time in town? I know you're back there.
You can't trick a Jedi...especially your own Master. You're a vergence in
the Force. That's somewhat impossible to miss." Silence. "Come on. I
managed to bring home some decent food. Cantra sent us some dip and
vegetables...you don't have to eat those. Peakew gave us some sort of
baked casserole, Liana sent these little pieces of meat wrapped up in bread,
Ulkje gave us some sandwiches, KEnka gave us some boiled yert eggs, and
Trein sent back something that looks positively inedible to me, but it's full
of sugar, so I'm sure you'll love it." Silence. "Anakin? I can smell the
rendnar cream." Obi-Wan got out of the speeder and walked around to the
back. He threw the blanket aside to find a sleeping Anakin Skywalker still
clutching his packet of rendnar cream sandwiches and cookies. "Well. A
fine state of affairs this is." Obi-Wan scooped him up gently and carried
him into the house, careful not to squish the sandwiches and cookies, and
laid him on his bed. "Sleep well, my Padawan," he said softly, as he turned
off the light.
"We're in the junkyard," Anakin announced to Gekka. They were
riding in her landspeeder through piles of garbage.
"Where do you think I get pieces for my Pod?"
"Right." Anakin slouched down further in his seat and looked out
the side.
Gekka reached for the controls on her dashboard and increased the
volume of her music. "Mind?" she asked.
"No." Anakin listened to the song for a minute. "How come all
your songs are about hating men?"
"They aren't about hating men," Gekka explained, matter-of-factly.
"They are about empowering women."
"Then why do they say that men are stupid?"
"Because it makes us feel better."
"Oh." Anakin considered this. "So they're about hating men."
"From a certain point of view." Gekka turned a corner, gazing
intently out the side, on the lookout for a new coolant tank. Or rather, an
old, yet functional coolant tank.
"Stop!!!"
"What!" Gekka slammed her foot on the brake, pitching both her
and Anakin forward.
"Look!"
Gekka looked. "What?"
"There."
Gekka looked there. "What?"
"The cushions. They're perfect!" Anakin jumped out of the
speeder, and ran to the small pile of discarded cushions."
"They're kind of grody," Gekka observed.
"No, they're not! They're awesome!"
Obi-Wan was desperately trying to figure out how to cream
together eggs and milk. Try as he might, he could not manage to create
anything that resembled cream. Maybe it referred to the color. He
wondered what other uses he could employ for the dip.
"What'd you do with the spice?" Teth asked, sitting on the floor of
the KOnaed's room. An action holo was playing in the background, but
neither of them were paying attention.
"When we jumped out in the junkyard, I stuffed it in some old
pillows sitting there."
"Man, what if someone takes them? We gotta go get the stuff."
"No way," KOnaed replied, shaking his head. "No one's gonna
want those things. They're poodoo. Those are the grodiest pillows I've
ever seen."
"I love these things!" Anakin said, happily bouncing up and down
on them.
"I dunno," Gekka said, twisting her face into a half-grimace. "I still
think they're grody."
"Please, Gekka? I want them."
Gekka sighed. "All right. Load 'em up."
"They were right here!"
"They ain't here now," Teth observed.
"Who woulda taken them?"
"I hear someone! Drop!"
Teth and KOnaed hunkered down behind a pile of spare wheels and
repulser coils. They watched a small human boy with blond hair and a
curvy Beldarian chick cruise by in a speeder.
"Check out the curves on the Beldarian!" Teth said, nudging
KOnaed, none-too-subtly in the ribs.
"She's packin' our pillows!"
"You're right. They are pretty grody."
"Shut up," KOnaed hissed. "Look, you jump in front of the speeder
to stop them, and I'll jump on the back and grab the pillows."
"Got it."
They crept off in different directions.
"Aaaah!" Gekka slammed on the brake as something jumped out in
front of her speeder.
"Gekka!" Anakin had felt KOnaed jump on the back.
"Hey! Those are OUR cushions!" Gekka said, whipping out a
blaster and pointing it at KOnaed.
"Ok, ok, I'm gone," he said, sliding away. Teth was already gone.
Gekka slid back in her seat, holstering the blaster. "I can't believe
anyone would want to steal cushions that grody," she mumbled, taking off
again.
Behind the junk pile, Teth looked at KOnaed.
"Man, that was the worst plan ever."
"These are great," Anakin said, unloading the cushions from
Gekka's speeder. "Thanks for driving over here."
"Are you sure he won't see them? Is this still a surprise?"
"He's not here right now. And I'll take them to the backyard. Obi-
Wan never goes to the backyard."
Gekka watched Anakin take a cushion under either arm and attempt
to drag them to the backyard. They were nearly the same size as Anakin.
She sighed and hefted the other cushions.
"You must like this guy an awful lot," she mentioned. "Or else
you're carrying around some major guilt.
"Guilt!" Anakin replied, stumbling over a cushion and landing on
top of one and under the other.
"Sure." Gekka picked up one of Anakin's cushions and added it to
her pile. "Lead the way."
Anakin took her behind the house to a fort made up of spare parts,
leftover wood and a few blankets. "We'll hide them in here," he directed.
Gekka dropped her pile inside the entrance. "You're going to need
a frame," she said.
"Yeah, I know," Anakin replied. "I started it. I figured it really
didn't need legs." He showed her the beginnings of his construct.
"Looks, uh..." Gekka scratched her head. "When you gonna finish
it?"
"Well...I want to try to finish it by the end of the week."
"Why the end of the week?"
"'Cause there's a race and I want to go."
"Good thinking. I gotta get out of here. Gonna stop by and help
rebuild my coolant system?"
"Sure. See ya later."
"Bye." Gekka took off, leaving Anakin to pick up his tools and get
back to work.
"So, Anakin," Obi-Wan said, moving his rennnolli around his plate
in decorative designs, "what did you do today?"
"Do today?"
"Do today. When you were in the backyard forever?"
"Ohhhh...today..."
"There is no other."
"Um, I just kind of built some stuff."
"Really? Hiding away that secret Podracer?"
"Uh, not yet. Not enough parts. I mean--"
"You mean, Podracer? What would I do with a Podracer?" Obi-
Wan shoved his plate away and leaned back. "I like your answer much
better. More honest. Plus, it tells me that I needn't chain you to the house
just yet, though I should take measures to restrict your access to
mechanical parts. Perhaps a leash...We can stick a post in the yard and--"
"Obi-Wan!" Anakin dissolved into laughter. "Stop it!"
"Stop what?"
"You know!"
"I do?"
"Yes!"
"Oh...well, in that case...I guess you're saying you don't want me to
get out the candies Trein made from the party last night? Pity...guess I'll
have to eat them all myself."
"Obi-Wan!"
"Goodness, Anakin," Obi-Wan replied, standing to retrieve the
sweets. "At the rate you're going, I'm going to have to trade in my name
for a less worn model." He set the box on the table and allowed Anakin
one clump of sugary goo. He watched the boy make a gooey mess of
himself, then run off to get the training probe they were to use that night.
And then, he made his own gooey mess.
"We gotta find the spices!" KOnaed hissed to Teth.
"I know. Did you see where that speeder went?"
"No...I was standing in the same place as you all afternoon. Think,
laser-brain."
"Well, we could find the girl and follow her home."
"Right, and end up on the other end of that blaster again. No
thanks."
"Well, what about the kid? He's short, there aren't like, a lot of
them running around."
"Yeah...we'll wait 'til the Podrace. Everyone's at the Podrace.
We'll find him and follow him home."
"Yeah!"
"Yeah!"
"Anakin...I...I don't know what to say." Obi-Wan Kenobi stared at
the structure occupying the majority of his living room wall and scratched
his head.
"It's a couch."
"I see."
"I made it for you."
"That's very thoughtful."
"I thought you'd like a better place to sit...since you hurt your back
that time...and 'cause I keep making your life hard..."
Obi-Wan dropped his hand from his neck and turned to look
sharply at his Padawan. "Is that why you made this? You feel bad?"
"Well...I cut the table legs too short...and you always have to squish
up to sit down. I just wanted to do something nice for you." Anakin
looked deflated.
Obi-Wan stared at his dejected Padawan and felt incredibly old and
crusty. The phrase echoed through his head...He's just a kid...
"I love it."
"You do?" Anakin's head shot up, his eyes glowing.
"Of course. I don't know a single other Jedi who has received a
couch, let alone a homemade one, from his own Padawan. I consider
myself very special to get something like this. I'm going to try it out."
Obi-Wan strode purposefully to the slightly lopsided mass of lumber
masquerading as furniture, and with only a slight hesitation at the sight of
the cushions, sat squarely in the middle.
Anakin looked at him, hopefully.
Obi-Wan shifted his weight back and forth, bounced a minute, and
then slouched. After a moment, he swung his body around, bringing his
boots to rest squarely on the arm, and laying his head on a cushion.
"Anakin," he declared, sinking bonelessly into the fabric. "I am in heaven.
I'm going to stay here for the rest of my life. Call the Council and tell them
I'm resigning to lay on this couch for the rest of my days." He stretched his
arms over his head and yawned. "Well. I'm at least going to take a nap."
"Is it really that comfortable?"
"It really is."
"Let me try."
Obi-Wan gasped as his air was forcibly pushed from his body by
Anakin landing on his stomach.
"Ani!"
"Wow! I knew these cushions were awesome."
Obi-Wan moved over and let Anakin snuggle on the couch next to
him. Minutes later, both Master and Padawan were sound asleep.
Obi-Wan opened his eyes to the fading sunlight.
"Anakin," he said, nudging the boy. "Anakin, wake up, the sun's
setting."
"Huh?" Anakin opened sleepy eyes, detaching his face from Obi-
Wan's shoulder. His cheek was creased from being smashed against his
master's robes.
"Look. The sun's setting." Obi-Wan stood and walked to the door.
"Coming?"
"Yeah." Anakin scrambled off the couch and followed Obi-Wan
outside. Together, they watched Malastare's sun dive beneath the horizon
in a flaming display of pinks, purples and oranges. "Wow," Anakin said,
when the colors faded into a misty grey.
"Makes one feel quite insignificant in the grander scheme of things,
doesn't it?" Obi-Wan commented.
"Yeah."
"Thank you, Anakin."
"For what?"
"For my couch, among other things. Just for that, I think we'll have
dinner in town."
"Y'know, there's a Podrace this weekend..."
"I knew this couldn't be from the goodness of your heart."
"I have goodness...I'm all about goodness...c'mon, Obi-Wan..."
"Let's see if we can get in the Ale Barrel."
"Naw, Mom's friend Liana works there. She'll sell us out for sure."
"Aw..."
Teth and KOnaed were still sitting on the curb across from the Ale
Barrel when a familiar boy with blond hair exited the establishment with a
man older than either of the teenagers.
"Did you just--"
"Aw, yeah."
"All right, Anakin! You may go to the Podrace this weekend!"
"Yippee! Thanks, Obi-Wan! You're the best!"
"That's Master Obi-Wan to you," Obi-Wan informed the back of his
retreating Padawan. He sighed and climbed from the speeder, hefting the
package of Corellian coffee he had purchased. He had some brewing to
do.
Now armed with the knowledge of Anakin's home, Teth and
KOnaed were making plans to reclaim that which they theirs.
"I think we should just go in and take 'em!"
"Yeah, that worked great last time. Let's go do it again.
Laserbrain."
"Hey, you got a better idea?"
"Yeah, I think we should wait 'til they leave, then we can go in and
take 'em."
"Hey, yeah. You think we should sit out here all night?"
"No way. Mom would kill me. He's a kid, all kids like Podraces,
right?"
"Yeah..."
"So we'll come here during the Podrace and get it then."
"But we'll miss the race."
"Aw..."
"Yeah..."
"Maybe if we left early."
"Yeah! That's it!"
The day of the Podrace dawned sunny and hot. Obi-Wan's face left
his pillow with the greatest of reluctance. A cup of Corellian coffee
improved the situation greatly. Anakin was already awake, bouncing
around the small house in an excitement reminiscent of a rioting
population, Obi-Wan determined. He had a second cup of coffee.
Anakin's excited state lasted straight through the Podrace, during
which he cheered for a non-finishing contestant known as Gekka Yun.
Obi-Wan was relieved to note that despite her failure to finish, she did
manage to survive the ordeal. He wasn't sure how Anakin would have felt
about cheering for someone who wound up in little bits. Of course, he
considered later, he had once raced with competitors who had been buried
in several small coffins, and the experience hadn't seemed to disturb him in
the least. Obi-Wan scanned the crowd and planned new training sessions
for his Padawan.
"Aw, do we have to leave?"
"We gotta get to those people's house before them!"
"But we won't know who won!"
"Aw, c'mon. Lem Pokway's the only one with a whole Pod right
now, anyway."
"Ah, ok."
Teth and KOnaed took off for the small house that Obi-Wan and
Anakin shared. They knew the way by now, and their souped-up speeder
made the trip shorter than even Anakin had achieved.
"All right, we gotta find the cushions," KOnaed said, stepping
inside. "You look in the back, I'll look in the kitchen."
"Ok."
They split up, ignoring the living room in which they were standing.
KOnaed walked into the kitchen and immediately looked in the
coldbox. There were some sandwiches, but pretty much everything else
looked nasty. A pot of coffee was perched on the edge of the sink. A
table sat close to the floor.
"Hey, Teth!" he shouted, walking out of the kitchen. "They got this
short table. You gotta see it."
"You gotta see the rooms," Teth returned, walking into the living
room. "More junk in them than my little brother's room. Find the
cushions?"
"Naw...did you?"
"Would I ask you if I had found them?"
"I dunno. Maybe you were testing me."
"Well, I wasn't."
The two boys stood in silence for a good while, looking around.
"KOnaed! We're stupid. Look!"
KOnaed looked in the direction Teth was pointing.
"Hey, grody couch."
"No, you nerf-herder. Those are our cushions!"
"No way. Who would want to use those cushions on a couch?"
"Who cares? They're here!" Teth crossed the room and tugged a
cushion from the couch. "C'mon, we gotta find the stuff." He unzipped
one of the cushions.
"Gimme one." KOnaed followed his friend to the couch and
grabbed another pillow.
"Taking a nap?"
"Aieee!" Teth and KOnaed jumped high in the air, dropping the
pillows and spinning around. A hooded man stood in the doorway, arms
crossed. The sun shining behind him blinded them to his features, depicting
him as a fearsome, dark being. The two boys ran for the windows, diving
through them, and running to their speeder.
Obi-Wan Kenobi pushed his hood back and turned to watch the
terrified delinquents try to gun their engine.
"Did ya hear them scream like girls? Did ya, Obi-Wan?"
"I certainly did, Anakin," Obi-Wan replied, gazing after them
thoughtfully. He turned and strode purposefully to the couch, pulling off
the cushions.
"What are you doing?" Anakin hurried to help his master.
"We're going to see what those boys were after," he answered,
unfastening the covering of the nearest cushion and pulling out a handful of
stuffing.
Anakin dismembered another cushion in a similar fashion, careful to
keep the piles separate. The casing empty, he began to sift through the
contents, pulling apart the thick fluff.
"Find anything?" Obi-Wan asked, beginning to stuff his pile back
into the shell.
"No, not yet--wait a minute!" Anakin's fingers had glanced on
something smooth and cool. He quickly uncovered a small plastic bag with
a reddish-brown powder. "What's this?"
"It's spice." Obi-Wan took the packet from the boy, examining the
contents more closely.
"Isn't that illegal?" Anakin asked, eyes wide, awed to be in the
presence of an controlled substance.
"Outlawed on hundreds of planets," Obi-Wan replied.
"Yet you know what it is," Anakin noted under his breath.
Obi-Wan ignored him, ripping open another cushion and sifting
through the contents. He pulled out a handful of plastic packets.
"I believe this was what our young friends were looking for," he
commented, softly.
"Obi-Wan, you're not going to do that you-shouldn't-sniff-spice
speech on me, are ya? 'Cause Mom already covered that one years ago."
"No, Anakin. After what you and I are going to do to these young
men, I don't think you'll ever have an inclination to sniff spice."
"KOnaed! Come look at this!"
"Naw, man, I'm looking at Cabrona Halcron's new album...she's just
wearin'--"
"KOnaed! Now!"
"Aw..." Reluctantly, KOnaed replaced the Cabrona Halcron music
and went over to the bulletin board that had his friend so upset. "What is
it?"
"Lookathis."
KOnaed looked.
"Free yerknah babies? What's a yerknah?"
"No, the one next to it."
KOnaed stared at the neatly printed notice.
"For those who have misplaced 20 grams of a certain substance in
cushions, it will be available for pickup at the Suumbata Swamps." The
notice listed a date and time.
"Think they're patsies?"
"Naw. Wonder what they want?"
"Maybe just to get rid of the stuff."
"Maybe."
"Where is this place?" Anakin asked, looking around and wrinkling
his nose. "It stinks."
"It's a swamp, Ani. It's supposed to stink."
"This bad?"
"Think of it as a training distraction."
"Riiight."
"Come along, Padawan."
Anakin dutifully followed Obi-Wan up a log which was spanning
the widest part of the log.
"What are we doing?"
"We're lying in wait."
"For the Spice Guys?"
"For the Spice Guys."
Anakin followed Obi-Wan into an overhang of tree branches. The
drooping limbs made a small alcove on the log. Obi-Wan squatted down
and swung his legs to straddle the log. Anakin followed suit, nearly sliding
off.
"Squeeze with your legs," Obi-Wan instructed. "What a wonderful
place to train. So many opportunities and distractions. We'll have to come
back here, sometime."
Anakin suppressed a groan.
"Are you ready?"
"I can't see anything."
"Of course you can't. You've got it on backwards."
"Oh." KOnaed turned the balaclava around, letting his eyes emerge
from the three holes cut from the mask.
"Ok. Body armor, masks, knives..."
"Uh."
"What now?"
"I couldn't find any really good knives, so I borrowed my mom's
bantha knife."
"Good enough. Let's go, before they change their minds."
"Are you ready, young Padawan?" Obi-Wan asked. "I hear them
coming."
"They aren't exactly being quiet," Anakin agreed, as one of the boys
fell into the water and shouted an angry curse.
"Not in the least," Obi-Wan agreed. He listened to the boys crash
through the swamp for a bit longer. "Do you know your job?"
"Sure do."
"Good."
The boys were nearing the log on which there were perched.
Obi-Wan cleared his throat and called out to the boys in a loud,
clear voice, letting the Force suggest fear to the boys.
"Come up the log," he called.
Teth and KOnaed looked at each other and shrugged, edging
carefully up the log.
Anakin used the Force to make bubbles of mud fly through the air
and land on the boys' gear.
Teth jumped. "What was that?"
"What was what?"
"Something just hit me."
"There's nothing arou--hey!" KOnaed shouted, as he was also hit
with a glop of mud. "What'd you do that for?"
"I didn't do it," Teth replied. He looked around for the culprit, and
then both boys froze in horror as the mud began to bubble and rise, and
soon a shape began to protrude from the surface. "KOnaed...are you...is
that..."
"Lookit that thing."
As they watched, the mud rose and separated itself from the rest of
the swamp. It was nothing more than a glob, vaguely shaped with a head
and mouth.
"Bad spice trip?" It asked in a muted roar, sending both boys
dashing for the end of the log, quaking in their surplus-store spacer boots.
Another mud creature formed itself at the end of the log, blocking
their escape. This one was round and bounced in the air. "Going
somewhere?" it wheezed.
The boys, too scared to speak, made a dash for the other end of the
log. Before the reached the alcove of branches, they were both pushed
backwards and found themselves hovering in the air between the two
figures. The smaller of the two was starting to look a little drippy,
terrifying the boys even more. Just as they began to truly panic, the
phantom grip released, dropping them both in the stench of the swamp.
Screaming, they splashed frantically toward land. As they ran away, one
could be heard yelling, "I'm getting off this stuff! OFF!!!"
"KEnka's going to be quite happy," Obi-Wan mentioned, very
satisfied with himself. "She was very upset with Teth."
Anakin looked at him, blankly.
"My group," Obi-Wan explained. "We need to get back if I'm
going to make tonight's meeting without smelling like, well, like I spent the
afternoon in a swamp. Get your stuff."
Anakin climbed to his feet, eyeing his Master curiously.
"Were you making a Jabba swamp monster?" he asked.
"Jabba? Well..." Obi-Wan thought for a minute. "No...I was
modeling it after another Hutt I met when I was very young. But yes, it
looked quite a bit like Jabba, didn't it?"
Anakin nodded.
"Am I mistaken, or was your creature a re-creation of Watto?"
"How'd you know?"
"Qui-Gon told me about him."
"Oh."
"Anakin, can you do something for me?"
"Sure...uh, yes, Master."
Collapsed on their souped-up T-13, KOnaed and Teth looked at
each other.
"No way am I ever messing with spice again," Teth declared.
"What was that man? A bad trip? Withdrawal?"
"Hell on Malastare, man. Hell on Malastare."
"Repeat after me. I..."
"I...Anakin Skywalker," Anakin added when Obi-Wan nodded.
"Do solemnly swear..."
"Do solemnly swear..."
"To NEVER, EVER--"
"To never-ever..."
"Bring home spice-infested couch cushions..."
"Bring home spice-infested--but I didn't know--"
Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow at him.
"Bring home spice-infested couch cushions," Anakin repeated.
"As long as I allow you to live."
"As long as you allow me to live...Obi-Wan?"
"Yes, my Padawan?"
"Will that be a long time?"
"Not likely."
The End