Chapter 5: Surprises/Ron and Hermione Come to Visit

Harry sat playing wizard chess with Remus, and was pretty pleased as he wasn't doing to badly. All the years playing up against Ron had made him a decent player. He studied the board and moved his Queen to support his remaining bishop who was in danger of being taken by a knight.

Suddenly Sirius barged into the house tripping over the hat stand in the hall.

"Why is there even a hat stand when we can make them float in mid air, for Merlin's sake?" they heard him yell from the hall. Harry snorted (which is much more masculine than giggling. This is a point Harry wanted to make perfectly clear to himself)

"Oi, get ready you two!" Sirius called, stepping into the room with a triumphant grin. The others looked mildly interested at his antics and the chess pieces began to get irritated that their game had been overtaken by something more interesting.

"Why?" Harry asked,

"I asked Ron and Hermione over!" Sirius said happily, his white teeth spread into a big satisfied grin.

Remus immediately sent the man daggers and looked toward Harry who looked like a dear in the head lights, his eyes widening. Sirius's happy face faltered. "I thought you wanted to see them, you told us you got over it." This was true as yesterday, a few days after the owl fiasco, Harry had calmed down enough to lie that he was comfortable with the idea.

"Sirius, I don't think quite so soon was what Harry had in mind." Remus hissed. Sirius looked confused.

"Oh," he said stupidly, "I thought…Merlin, I'm sorry," he said pathetically. He took a step forward and Harry bolted from the chair he was sitting on. Remus just caught his wrist before he fled up the stairs.

"Harry, wait" the greying man began.

"Tell them not to come!" harry yelled angrily, tugging away from Remus who had stood up too and shot a dirty look at Sirius who shuffled his feet apologetically. "I don't want to see them!" Harry continued. He pulled violently away but he couldn't relinquish the vice like grip Remus had on him. "L-let go!" he added not as loudly, tears prickling his eyes. The young wizard (witch) just wanted the earth to swallow him up. Ron and Hermione could not see him in such a state. He was vulnerable, on the verge of tears and worst of all a girl.

"Harry, you do want to see them." Remus said, hopefully. He pulled the teen back and hugged him, still not trusting him enough to let go of his wrist though. Harry struck his chest weakly, a dry sob catching in his breath. He was hyperventilating and desperately tried to get away.

"Get off me! I don't need it!"

Tears blurred his vision and he kept his head low with complete humiliation. Ever since the gender bending two weeks ago, Harry had been so teary all the time. Remus told him it was just years of stress and hurt from his past coming out all at once since his life never gave him a chance to heal before going through another traumatic experience.

"Harry, you're just frightened, there's no reason to be." Remus assured him. Harry felt a surge of vehemence underneath rows of mortification.

"I'm not scared!" he argued, hiccupping slightly. How dare they make him feel more stupid and childish than he already did.

Remus chuckled a bit at his stubborn nature.

"You're afraid that you're friends will not accept you like this. That you'll be embarrassed and that they'll push you away – see you differently. But they won't, they won't, Harry." Remus crooned. Harry just got angrier. The louder he got, the better he thought he'd feel.

"Shut up! I don't need to hear this psychological crap! I'm not a little kid – you can't trick me!"

"Give me one other reason you don't want to see your two best friends?"Remus asked kindly despite Harry's sudden anger towards him. That did it, the kid snapped.

"Until now no one's wanted a damn thing to do with me!! Unless I'm saving you all from Voldemort or being a poster boy for the ministry, you expect me to be this perfect boy! Well you both just can't come into my life and act like you know me! You DON'T! You can't just say you care and expect me to go along with it like always!" Harry screamed, releasing several bitter feelings all at once, letting every flow out, all the bad memories.

The hurt at thinking that he had no letters the summer after his first year – being trapped by Mr Dursley in his bedroom after the cake incident - being made to come across as a cry baby/rebel by Reeta Skeeter – being stranded last summer with no information - being hauled into the Ministry to decide whether he would go to Hogwarts. Every mean thought and feeling was being screwed up into one wave of energy which he used to push himself from Remus.

He then opened his eyes only to immediately closed them again. Remus and Sirius were looking at him, aghast. They just looked, open mouthed as all this ill feeling poured out of the boy, and they felt so bad. They knew his life had been troubled, frustrating and it was painful to know they could have stopped it if they tried. His hurt made them feel not only like they were letting James and Lily down but as if they had just turned away a good friend onto a cold street in the middle of the night with no food or shelter from a storm.

Remus took a step back. "Harry," he said weakly, sadly. "We're…so sorry." He said.

Sirius looked like a Dementor had walked by. "Merlin, Harry…this is my fault. I'm sorry you've had such a rough life. But, as hard as it seems, you've got people who'll stick by you."

Harry, turned around but didn't walk back the other way. His shoulders shook …and his lips trembled. "I'm sorry, too." He said thickly. "…shouldn't have said that."

"But I'm glad you did. I don't want to think about how long you've had that bottled up inside of you." Remus whispered, smiling a tiny bit, walking closer. Sirius joined him and they both hugged the boy.

"I just- I just can't face them." he said quietly, quite ashamed of his sudden tantrum.

"You're more afraid of your friends rather than a psychotic murderer who's been after you for 15 years?" Sirius asked gently. Harry had no answer to that. But he almost smiled.

After all the tears and tantrums were out if the way, Harry went to wash his face. This was a good move as Sirius knew that the two guests would be over soon. He had neglected in mentioning that the pair would be over at about one. They had about thirty minutes now. Hmmm, maybe he should tell Remus…

"So," The werewolf said resignedly, as if reading the other's train of thought. "When will they get here?" Sirius hesitated. He had gotten side tracked in Diagon Alley on his way back from the Weasley that morning. It was just that so much had changed and he was going to use his new freedom as much as he could.

"Well," he said hesitantly, "In half an hour…?"

Thwack!

"Are you kidding me, Sirius?" Remus whispered heatedly. "This doesn't give Harry any time to get used to the idea at all! I had thought, maybe dinner or after but – argh, you idiot!"

"Okay, I'm sorry, I screwed up! Oh, Remus you're such a worrier. I bet the real reason you're so upset is beuase you wanted a chance to tidy up before the company arrived." Sirius joked. Remus then came after him with part of the daily prophet.

"When I get my hands on you, Sirius I'll make Azkaban look tame!" Remus shot at him, chasing him. Sirius let out a small laugh at how funny the situation was. He and Remus looked like an old married couple…haha. Sirius was smiling up to the point Remus managed to summon a rolling pin from the kitchen – then he started to sprint.

Harry sat rigidly on the old couch. He had crossed his legs and was constantly fidgeting with something. He was staring at his hands and his breathing had become short and sharp. Remus sat awkwardly next to him, his eyes skimming over articles he had read previously. He had been reading the same line over and over again without actually understanding what had been written. Sirius was sulking upstairs. To tell the truth Remus had been worried about the state of Grimmauld place and had to madly dash throughout the house to set it all up and clean it all. It was amazing what three people could do to a house in such a little time. Remus tried to inconspicuously glance at his watch by only rotating his wrist slightly.

A sudden muffled boom came from another room and what seemed like a small bomb has exploded inside the house. Harry jumped while Remus put a hand on his shoulder and calmed him. The main fireplace was in the other room, where the Order had most of their meetings. They both entered, Harry concealed behind the man, twisting his hands together, to be met with quite a large amount of dust.

There was coughing from all parties until Remus stepped forward and flicked his wand, removing the dust.

"Professor Lupin!" Hermione cried happily a he smiled at them.

"Hello Hermione, Ron." He said.

"Hey, Mooney! Where's Harry?" Ron asked. Remus seemed to hesitate and he stepped to the side, revealing the even smaller figure of Harry, who trembled slightly.

There was a huge prolonged silence. It seemed to go on forever, reaching every inch of the house until only the occasional bird and passing car would reach their ears. Remus was a little at loss of what to do. Hermione eventually closed her mouth her eyes wide and Ron just gawked like a fish out of water. Harry peeked up at them from his hands and flinched, immediately wishing he hadn't. He felt heat on his cheeks and behind his eyes and his breathing became shorter and sharper by the moment.

"Ron, Hermione," Remus began, stepping forward.

"Woah…" Ron whispered stupidly.

"H-Harry?" Hermione asked, taking a small step forward as well.

Harry let out a small groan of a noise that seemed as sorrowful as a sob. He stumbled back clumsily. Before Remus could grab him, as he knew exactly what was going to happen, Harry sped out of the room. Ron and Hermione both let out a yell, to stop him, but Harry, whose pink cheeks had a flow of tears pouring down, ignored them.

Idiot, what were you expecting?! You really are a freak! Now what will they think of you?

He couldn't control yelp of hurt as he scuttled in his room and crawled into his wardrobe and sat down inside of it. He grabbed a large jumper from a hanger and wept into it.