Summary: Takes place in the 2nd season so far. Finn is bored and he wants black mail material… so he asks an interesting question: why hasn't the Dark Ace-one of their most persistent enemies-popped up in Atmos lately? In an instant, the stormhawks come up with some bizarre theories…

Rating: T for mild swearing and suggestive themes

Pairings: Implied pairings

Whatever Happened to the Dark Ace?

It was a bright sunny day in Atmos as the grey and blue Condor soared through the blue hued clouds of the skies. Occasionally birds flew past and perhaps the odd sky fish, but other than that, it was a pretty ordinary sight. Nothing unusual was happening. The weather was-of course-picture perfect, the message crystals were free of emergency transmissions while everything was neat and tidy on the ship. All was well.

Well, not quite.

As a young rambunctious teenager, and also an esteemed and heroic (accoring to himself) stormhawk, Finn easily got distracted. To but it bluntly, he was a walking annoyance on the ship with nothing to interest him – not that he would do work or any sort in any case. It was just… so… damn… dull. That was not normal for a regular day on the Condor! They should've been kicking Talon butt or doing some rescue mission, not… drifting off pointlessly!

When Finn was bored, he started to think. And when Finn started to put his brain to work, it was not good. Any thing that came out of Finn's mind was an elaborate plot to annoy everyone else around him. Hey, if he was miserable, everyone else should be miserable at his expense. Right? Right. Because the Finnster was like that. Duh.

With a yawn, Finn laid back against his bed. Again, he just had to repeat himself: it was boring. Maybe he could jam on his guitar… but then Stork would trash it again and Finn would spend fruitless hours trying to gain justice for his precious baby. Nope, that was not going to happen now. Finn was just too lazy to start any fights. This meant that disrupting Piper's experiments was out of the question – again, too much work. This also meant that he had no strength to go air surfing with the guys. It was a lot of work to go air surfing and look cool for the ladies at the same time. Nah… it was a slacker day…

Slacker days meant annoying the whole team with only one brilliant move. Now… what to do? Blinking, Finn rubbed his chin. Surely it didn't have to be some sinister prank… he could just get the whole team to spend time together a different way. His mind started to wander again.

This was going no where. Finn lay back down again to close his eyelids. The gentle ticking of the clock beside his bed timed the rhythm of his heartbeat as he started to daydream, losing momentum to stir up his teams' spirits.

Man this year had been weird. Who knew why Cyclonis would host a wrestling competition at her own terra? She didn't seem like the type to get out and have fun. Finn snorted at the mental image of Cyclonis in a sparkly outfit at Terra Nero to get drunk. It was too funny. And who knew that Aerrow would be the first to reach the Exosphere? Now that was pretty cool… and Finn could've sworn Piper and Aerrow stole a moment or two in the moonlight as well… They'd met a lot of old enemies over the past few weeks… Murk Raiders, Raptors, the warden, Cyclonis, Ravess….

Come to think of it… whatever happened to the Dark Ace?

Instantly Finn's whole body shot up, "HOLY SHIT!"

That's right! Aerrow's arch nemesis the Dark Ace! How long had it been since they'd faced him? Finn struggled to remember…

Oh who gave a damn?! This was important! Eyes sparkling with excitement Finn rushed to the hangar… boy was he in for some fun!

Maybe... maybe he could get help too...

This was going to be a GREAT scheme!

"Hey guys! Hey guys! Guess what?" Finn cheered with that great big grin on his face.

Junko watched with interest as Finn zoomed right past him to Aerrow and Piper who were discussing maps. Stork merely gave an eye roll, "There goes the walking disaster again… make sure you don't attract any more flesh eating disease Finn…" he gave a twitch, "it's contagious…"

The hangar was filled with that familiar awkward tension that always accompanied one of many of Stork's lovely comments.

"Uh… yeah…" Finn shook his head and then exclaimed, "Guess what guys?"

Glancing up from her charts Piper shook her head. Her mouth was in a thin scowl as she addressed him with impatience, "Is this important Finn? I've got important work to do, in case you haven't realized it for the umpteenth time today."

Smugly, Finn crossed his arms, "Hear, hear, your sarcasm amuses me, dear Piper, but I've actually got something really really important to say right now. I think you'll want to hear it."

Piper groaned in annoyance, "Whatever Finn…"

Smiling at the regular banter that occurred between the two, Aerrow resumed his role as unofficial peacekeeper. He still couldn't help the tips of his lips that stretched into a smile at seeing Piper so angry at Finn.

"Alright then, what is it Finn?"

"You guys are going to think that I'm soooo smart!" Finn said gleefully.

"Uh huh…?"

"Alrighty, to the point... have you guys noticed that we haven't seen the Dark Ace lately?" Finn waggled his eyebrows, while elbowing an irritated Piper in the stomach.

"FINN! STOP DOING THAT!"

Aerrow, speaking over them, gave his two cents, "No… I actually didn't notice till now. Isn't that a good thing?"

Junko nodded in agreement, "Yeah, doesn't it mean we have fewer enemies to worry about?"

Finn was disappointed. Where were their imaginations? It was up to him to stir up some of the magic then…

"You don't mean that do you Junko?! I'll bet Stork would agree with me if I said its best to watch out for your enemies… you should keep them closer than your friends…" Finn said in a very bad impression of an ominous voice.

Stork shook his head in embarrassment, "Oh… that'll definitely scare us Finn… oh yeah…"

The marksmen of the team glared at the green pilot.

"Actually…"

The stormhawks stopped their playful teasing of each other to pay attention to their navigator, who was actually listening to what Finn was saying.

"Finn's got a point," Piper agreed reluctantly.

Punching a fist in the air, Finn whooped, "SEE?! I told ya! You tell them, sister!"

With a disapproving look, Piper pushed him away, "Yeah, don't call me that…" she went back to business, "It's important we know what's going on with our enemies. Anything they do could affect us. Now, the Dark Ace's absence may be a good thing for the time being… but we have to keep a look out for the potential threats he might be planning in this period of leisure. The Dark Ace could be trying to lure us into a trap by putting us into a mood of ignorance and bliss. We have to be on guard."

A fleeting look of approval passed over Aerrow's face. He always knew he could count on Piper to be the cool and logical anchor for the squadron. Immediately Aerrow composed himself into a more professional fashion, erasing the pleased emotions from his expression.

"Piper's right. We have to think about the future. The Dark Ace cannot be underestimated…" Aerrow couldn't hold back a boyish grin, "Even if we always kick his butt in every battle."

"Too true!" Junko praised, as he exchanged high fives with Finn.

Their paranoid pilot also nodded in agreement, "The Dark Ace probably got Cyclonis angry when we defeated him the day we had to baby-sit that little tyke Tinky." He looked back and forth and then scooted closer to whisper harshly at them, "I heard she keeps her prisoners trapped in the wastelands surrounded by fire scorpions… never to be found again…"

Extremely creeped out, everyone gulped.

"Oh yeah..." Stork continued, as he stringed his audience along, "she also has their toes chopped up with butcher knives and filled up with jaded spider poisen so that she can eat them for breakfast in her stew. It makes her even more dangerous and able to use her evil powers to plot to take control of the Atmos."

This time, no one bought what Stork was selling.

"Uh… are you sure about that Stork?" Aerrow hesitantly asked.

"Have I ever been wrong about anything?" Stork gave him a dead look.

Junko laughed it off, "Oh come on guys! I bet it isn't such a big deal. Maybe the Dark Ace decided not to be bad and evil again, so, he walked right about of Cyclonia and decided to be banjo player!"

"…"

"A banjo player in overalls and a necklace of flowers!"

"...er..."

"What? The Dark Ace would look very good in overalls and a banjo."

"…"

"Don't you guys like country music?"

"Dude, the Dark Ace… playing the banjo?! Sometimes I wonder about you, man!" Finn shivered, "You put a really nasty image in my head!"

"I'm not queer or anything Finn, I'm just a real softie!" Junko embraced his best friend with affection.

Finn went blue from lack of air, "Can't... breathe…"

"Oh… sorry!" Junko said innocently before dropping Finn to the ground.

"You know what…?" Finn said, as soon as he regained his composure, "I bet the Dark Ace is in love with Master Cyclonis!"

"EH?!"

"Yeah! The Dark Ace was having lusty thoughts for his commanding officer that he confessed his true feelings! But, when Cyclonis found out, she told him to get the hell out and that Talons had no room for love and all that, and since then the Dark Ace has been living out on the streets as a mourning hobo!"

THUMP!

"ACK! YOU KILLED STORK!" Piper ran over to help the unconscious merb.

Aerrow, being attentive, saw the cloth Finn had carelessly (was it careless?) threw on the floor.

"Piper! Careful there's-"

WHACK!

"PIPER!" Aerrow ran over to try and catch the crystal specialist, only to have her fall on top of him in her clumsy trip and knock over the table which tumbled over to Junko who stopped it with his bulky legs.

"STORK! BUDDY YOU OK?!" Junko started to shake the merb who was now hallucinating.

"I see the mind worms coming to get me… Mommy…" drawled Stork with dizzy eyes.

Junko blinked, "No, no, no, I'm not a mind worm Stork, I'm not a- AHHHHH!"

Stork proceeded to go on a berserk rampage by punching Junko's eyes out. Considering Junko's strength and Stork's lean figure, Stork packed an extremely strong punch.

Meanwhile, Aerrow couldn't even feel his fingers as Piper was sprawled on him, out cold, "Well… this is…" he blushed.

In all this insanity there was just a faint sniggering in the background. Radarr, the furry little animal who could always be inconspicuous when needed, was filming every little bit on camera.

Aerrow went pale, "Uh… guys?"

No one paid attention as Stork tried to kill Junko, Piper was in la-la land and not moving from on top of Aerrow's chest and Finn was still recapping some steamy supposed love affair between Master Cyclonis and Dark Ace. Did Finn read porn or something? That guy was getting awfully suggestive in his narration… not that anyone but Aerrow-who was pinned to the ground, not that he was complaining-was listening.

"Dark Ace will probably peek into Cyclonis' room just so he can catch a glimpse of her-"

"Finn…" Aerrow growled, temper rising.

Aerrow was so prude.

Finn was starting to make kissy faces towards the camera in his story telling of how Cyclonis and Dark Ace seduced and slept with each other. Aerrow was getting even pinker, trying not to think about the girl on top of him as he tried to get up.

"… and then Dark Ace slowly slides the master's shirt down and he whispers in her ear, 'you know you want me…' and then she moans and says…"

"FINN WILL YOU SHUT UP AND HELP ME UP?!" Aerrow snapped loudly, not wanting to hear more about his enemies' love lives (whether they were real or not).

Radarr was still being a pest and filming them all, while trimming his tail. Traitor…

"Oh… well I dunno man, you look pretty much at home in Piper's arms to me," Finn said flirtatiously.

"Ack! WHAT?! NO! I'M NOT!"

"You're blushing…" sang Finn.

"YOU-"

Finn laughed, "You know you wanna touch her…" he sniggered, "Wait till I tell Piper that her favorite sky knight is a closet pervert…"

"Finn," Aerrow's eyes went dark, "I will kill you. No, actually, I will throw you into the wastelands into lava lake, and then I will pull you out and rip your body to shreds, feed your chopped parts to the sky sharks, burn your corpse and then bring you back to life and kill you if you ever mention this incident to Piper when she wakes up again!" Aerrow hissed.

The idiot was too busy chocking on laughter, "Aw man this is gold… are you getting this Radarr?"

The furry creature gave him a chirp and a thumps up as a 'yes'. Some loyal sidekick he was…

Then it clicked. Finally.

"Wait… YOU WERE PLANNING THIS THE WHOLE TIME WEREN'T YOU?!"

Finn was going to die. But the black mail… it was sooo worth it.

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I dunno, I love everyone in the Stormhawks… I might add some more chapters to put in Aerrow and Piper's theories as well as other characters. Finn will definitely come up with more scenarios… If you have any ideas you wish to contribute, just PM me.

Lame comedy, I know… but I was really bored and curious to know WHERE IS DARK ACE?! I miss my favorite villain. Although I really like those nightcrawlers and Craver too… and Cyclonis rocks!

Thanks for reading!