The Mercy of Severus Snape

Chapter Three

Harry sat down next Ron at the Gryffindor table and hastily piled sausages and toast on his plate, eager to avoid interaction with his best friends. They would have a lot of questions for him about his exchange with Marc Richmond, Head Boy. He was just about to shovel a piece of sausage in his mouth when Ron rounded on him with an unhappy look.

"Mate, why did you just apologize to a filthy snake?" He gritted out.

Harry paused, the fork hovering just an inch away from his mouth, before sighing and putting the fork down.

"Ron, I stabbed him in the gut with my elbow and told him to piss off." Harry pointed out.

Ron did not look so convinced.

"Yeah, but he deserved it right? He was practically egging Malfoy on, trying to get you off him. And then he slammed you against the wall, bloody bas-"

"Ronald Weasley, he was just doing his job as Head Boy!" Hermione said angrily, pointing the tip of her fork at him.

"Alright, Hermione!" Ron said with his hands up, but Hermione just gave him a disgruntled look and turned to Harry.

"Well, I think that it was very noble of you to apologize, Harry. I'm proud of you." She said, giving Harry an encouraging smile.

"Well, I think that no snake deserves an apology, especially from any of us." Ron mumbled, popping the round yellow yoke of his egg with a vicious stab.

Harry opened his mouth to say something, but the morning post arrived. There was a flourish in the air as owls came swooping in with mail, while Harry's owl in particular took care to deliver a neatly rolled up piece of parchment next to Harry's plate. Harry picked up the letter, and opened it, curious to see who had written to him.

Dear Mr. Potter,

Today we will be starting 'remedial potions'. I know I said we would wait a few days, but tonight should be an appropriate time to begin. Perhaps you can consider it as a reward for apologizing to Mr. Richmond. Come to my quarters an hour earlier. Do NOT be late, and do not do anything foolish today to make me change my mind.

Regards,
Professor Snape

Harry's heart raced as he read the words on the parchment. Were they finally going to begin Occlumency lessons? Harry let his eyes dart up to the front where the Professors were and saw the Potions Master regarding him with a neutral look. Harry gave him a discreet nod and ducked his head, hiding the parchment away from everyone else's view.

Harry wondered how Professor Snape knew that he was going to apologize to the Head Boy. Harry knew he said he was going to, but how was the Potions Master so sure of himself? Harry shook his head and tried to pay attention to what Hermione was saying.

Professor Snape was absently trailing a finger down the spine of a thick leather-bound book when Harry entered his quarters. He had his back to Harry, but turned when he heard Harry speak.

"Er - hello, sir." Harry said clearly, but Snape could see that Harry looked a little apprehensive.

"Good evening, Mr. Potter." He replied coolly, and gestured for Harry to sit on the settee. Harry strode over to the settee and sank deep into the cushions.

"So, sir, what are we doing today?" Harry asked bravely, but there was a slight - almost unnoticeable - tremor in his voice.

The Potter boy seemed nervous about something, but what? Snape sighed. He couldn't very well have an Occlumency lesson with a pupil who was a nervous-wreck.

"Potter, what is the matter?" He snapped, with a frown. Better to get it out of the way.

Harry's eyes flickered, as if he was surprised that the Professor asked, and quickly dropped his gaze to the floor.

"Nothing, sir." He said quietly, and started to peel at his index finger cuticle.

Snape watched in slight disgust.

"Potter, stop it - stop it." He said, and slapped Harry's left hand away before his finger started bleeding on the carpet.

"What is the matter me with you?"

"Ow - Nothing! Nothing's wrong. Why do you always think something's wrong?" Harry said loudly, with a frown on his face.

"Potter, I would not ask such a stupid, sentimental question if I truly believed nothing was wrong. Now, I'm going to repeat myself for the last time, what is bothering you?"

"It doesn't matter anyway, I can't tell you anything without coming off as rude, can I?" Harry said, surprised to feel the stirrings of anger in his chest.

Dammit, there was just no control when faced with Snape, Harry thought.

"Perhaps, Potter, you could try and tell me, without assuming that I'll be angry with your rudeness."

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try me, Potter."

"NO!"

"MR. POTTER!"

"WHAT?!" Harry screamed.

"Calm. Yourself." Snape said silkily, standing on his feet and glaring down at Harry. Harry stood up as well, and faced the Professor.

"I am calm, Snape." He spat, and lifted his chin up, as if he was challenging the extremely aggravated Potions Master.

Harry's eyes were glossy and hard.

Snape's wand arm twitched, ever so slightly.

"To the wall, right now." He whispered dangerously.

Harry didn't bat an eye.

"No, no wall." He said confidently.

"Yes Potter, and you will calm down while you're there." Snape said, and yanked Harry by the ear, dragging him to the stone wall.

Harry yelped and began to protest.

"No, I don't need the bloody wall to -"

"Language."

" - calm down. You can't make me -"

Harry suddenly found himself staring at the same wall that he had stared at just a week ago, with the pressure on his ear gone. Harry raised his hand to discreetly rub the soreness away, but his hand was pulled down by Snape before he could reach. Harry spun around angrily.

"This is childish." Harry stated loudly, refusing to go along with the Professor.

Snape did not look amused.

"You are acting very childishly." Snape said flatly.

"I'm not!" Harry insisted.

"Potter, I don't understand why you're so angry, and why you keep botching up your chances at Occlumency lessons." Snape tried to talk some sense.

"Because you keep forcing me to talk when I have nothing to say!"

"Potter, you do have something to say. I could tell the moment you walked in that something was wrong. I wonder - why do you find it so difficult to tell me your problems?"

Harry looked away again, and clamped his lips together, locking away a rush of words that were begging to be let out. The angry words pushed against his teeth. Suddenly, he felt the rough hand of Professor Snape pull at Harry's chin until he was looking directly into the Professor's fathomless eyes.

"You don't trust me." Snape said, after a long pause.

He brusquely let go of Harry's face. Harry stumbled backwards into the wall and let his eyes shutter close.

"I need you to talk to me, Potter." Snape said, with the least amount of contempt as possible.

Harry mumbled something under his breath.

"What was that?"

"What reason do I have for trusting you?" Harry gritted out, and swiftly turned around to face the wall. He put his clasped hands behind his head and ignored Snape.

Professor Snape stared at the back of Harry's head, surprised.

"Potter - you don't have to do that. We can sit down and talk like two grown individuals." Snape said calmly, but his words fell on deaf ears.

Harry remained stationed against the wall and stonily brushed Snape's attempt at getting him to turn around.

"Potter..." He growled, and resisted the urge to shake the boy. Finally, he gave up and took a seat at the settee.

Harry narrowed his eyes at the wall and clenched his teeth, seething. Snape always had a way of making him angry, even when he shouldn't be. Secretly, he knew that Snape was right. Something was bothering him. But he wasn't about to go share his feelings with the bat-like Potions Master. He was never a good listener, what was different now?

A few minutes passed, and Harry thought he was calm enough to think logically. He knew that technically, he shouldn't have yelled at Snape or addressed him in such informal tones, but it angered him that he kept badgering him about what was wrong. He got enough concerned looks from his best friends and the other Professors, he didn't need that shit from Snape.

In an odd way, he took a certain pleasure from knowing that Snape didn't care about him. But that was slowly changing, and it scared Harry because he could see it.

Harry sighed to himself with exasperation. Everything had been fine when there weren't any Occlumency lessons. But once the letter arrived, once Harry realized that he would indeed have a lesson, he was stricken with a new feeling - an apprehension - of what would happen.

Every lesson in the past was filled with mental anguish and pain. Snape ripped through his memories, memories he preferred to keep to himself, and seemed to take pleasure from making him suffer. He was never patient, and never explained the fundamentals to Harry.

That night, as Harry walked to Snape's quarters, he had convinced himself that it would be no different this time. It would be another ruthless session with Harry breathless on his knees while the Professor went perusing through his memories. That was why he was so nervous. He had been sure that as soon as he walked in, that Snape would pounce on him with his wand and immediately Legilimens him without a warning.

But Harry could see now that perhaps... he was wrong.

After about twenty minutes, when Snape felt that Potter had enough time to regain his composure, he called out to him.

"Potter - turn around and sit down." He ordered.

Harry slowly let his arms down, feeling the same soreness and sharp pain as the last time he had done this, and turned around, his face removed of all emotions. He walked to the settee in front of Snape and sat down, without meeting his eyes.

"Are you ready to talk now?" Snape asked.

"Yes, sir." He said sullenly.

"Good. Now, what possessed you to lash out like that?"

Harry took a deep breath and forced himself to speak.

"I was angry, sir."

"Clearly. Mr. Potter, I was only asking you about what was wrong because I knew it would affect our Occlumency lesson. I thought that discussing it and getting it out of the way would be better than to let it arise during a lesson. Obviously, I was mistaken." Snape said bitterly.

Harry remained silent.

"So tell me, what was wrong? Why were you so jumpy, Potter?" Snape asked carefully.

"It's about the lessons..." Harry started quietly.

"From... previous experience, I knew that the lessons could get really nasty. I was just nervous. I was sure you'd go tearing through my head as soon as I walked in." Harry finished, looking awkward.

Snape felt himself growing more uncomfortable with each word. He knew that he had not prepared the young Potter as well as he should have, and did not take special care to help him clear his mind, but he had no idea that it had effected Potter so much. Potter didn't trust him, because in the past, Snape had made torture sessions out of these Occlumency lessons. He knew he had to tread carefully.

"Potter... I know many things went wrong last year."

Harry snorted. Snape gave him a hard look.

"But, I am telling you now that it will be different this time. You and I both made mistakes, and we should be able to put them behind us and start over."

Harry looked up in surprise, his eyes blinking quickly.

"I admit, Potter, that I wasn't teaching you how to become an Occlumens the correct way. It was an immature act on my part, as I am more than twice your senior, but I promise you that you have no reason to fear this year's lessons." Snape said.

"Are you sure you should be making promises you can't keep?" Harry said bitterly.

Snape's heart rate began to quicken exponentially.

"Potter." He growled.

"Have I not proved myself as a better man this year? Have I not been cooperating with you? I am not a man who shows his innermost feelings, Potter, I never was. I can't put on any more emotion than the ones you've already seen. You may not believe it, but I have been putting myself under intense restraint to be more civil with you. You are not the only one working Potter, and don't you dare forget that." Snape said vehemently, leaning himself over the coffee table that separated the two.

Harry looked absolutely stunned. He felt himself having a vile reaction to the words, taking Snape's words all the wrong ways.

"Well, Professor, I'm sorry you find my presence to be so repulsive that you have to restrain yourself." He said thickly, and stood up to grab his books.

Snape rubbed the side of his face tiredly and sighed.

"Potter, you're not listening. I am trying to make some peace here."

Harry looked at him with betrayed eyes.

"It doesn't seem that way to me."

"You are misinterpreting what I have said. I only meant that I'm trying just as hard as you are. We never liked each other, but we're both making an effort, so you should consider that when speaking to me."

Harry just crossed his arms.

Snape felt exhausted. Trying to talk to an overly sensitive teenager who took offense at every word that came out of his mouth was giving him a migraine.

"Potter – have I been unfair the past week, in any way?" Snape questioned.

Harry looked unsettled. He looked like he wanted to say yes, but knew the honest answer.

"No, not really."

"Have I been goading you into heated yelling matches during class?"

"N-no..."

"Have I been taking away as many house points from you as last year?"

"No, sir."

"Then believe me when I say Occlumency will be different this year." He said firmly, leaving no room for questions.

Snape could see that Harry's resolve to hate the Potions Master was slipping. He swayed at his feet, and Snape was afraid for a moment that Potter would fall into a dead faint, but he didn't. He just collapsed on the settee with a deep, troubled sigh.

"I know you hate me, Potter. But let's try and get through a week without killing each other, shall we?" Snape said tiredly. Harry nodded.

"Are you still angry, Mr. Potter?" Snape had to ask.

Harry's face was unreadable.

"Just – well, I don't really know. I'm not angry anymore I guess, only wary." Harry said.

Snape nodded and stood from his settee to sat next to Potter. Harry flinched backward when the Potions Master suddenly moved, but forced himself to still, and breathe evenly. Snape was just a few inches away from brushing arms with Harry.

"Relax, Potter. Let's do a little mental exercise."

Harry gave him a pinched look.

"Close your eyes, Potter." He ordered.

Harry gave him an incredulous look.

"C-close my eyes?" He croaked.

"Potter, I'm not going to bite you while you have your eyes closed."

Harry finally scrunched his eyes closed, his shoulders up high and tense. Snape repressed a snort.

"Just try to relax. Stop tensing your shoulders, stop scrunching your eyes – for Merlin's sake Potter, you look ridiculous. Imagine something pleasant." Snape droned, in a deep, relaxing voice.

Harry didn't loosen up at all.

"What about the beach. The beach is pleasant, Potter. Hear the waves, feel the gentle breeze brushing by you, concentrate on the feeling of the tiny grains of sand beneath your toes."

Snape observed Harry, hoping he would look much more relaxed, but he seemed much more tense than before.

"Potter, what's wrong, haven't you ever been to the beach before?" Snape snapped.

Harry's eyes shot open.

"You're right, sir, I've never been to the stupid beach." He said angrily.

Snape held his tongue, thinking it was the wrong time to rattle the Potter boy.

Snape thought silently for a bit.

"Follow me, Potter. Take off your robes, and put them over the settee. Leave your books here." He ordered, and swept out of the quarters.

Harry struggled to obey the quick orders, stumbling on his feet and rushing to catch up with the Professor. He followed Snape as he made his way to a familiar door – the Room of Requirements – and walked back and forth three times to activate the room.

When Harry entered the room behind Snape, he felt his breath catching. It was an absolutely stunning view. It was sunset at the beach during the summertime. It was warm, but not uncomfortably so, the fresh breeze tickled against the skin, and the sand! Harry quickly pulled his shoes and socks off, and reveled at the feeling of every little grain beneath his toes. He saw Snape move behind him, but was too distracted by the realistic beach to do anything about it.

"Close your eyes." he heard Snape murmur.

Harry instantly obeyed and closed his eyes.

"Concentrate on the sounds of the waves." The voice said.

In the distance, Harry could hear the soft crashing of the tides and the water lapping at the shore. Harry didn't notice, though Snape did, that his shoulders were slumped in relaxation.

"Your mind is free of everything but the sounds of the beach. Nothing else exists."

Harry's mind wandered, just for a second, as he wondered why Snape sounded so nice, and why he didn't feel so tense around him. But the voice calmly led him back to the beach. Harry tensed when he felt hands on his shoulder, leading him somewhere, but Harry followed. The hands pushed him down and Harry found himself laying down on something – a hammock? - and felt his body swaying back and forth to the breeze.

"Don't get sleepy. Think about the beach."

Harry felt the overactive part of his mind, the part that constantly worried about the Dark Lord, the Prophecy and the death of Sirius, slowly retreating into the dark crevices of his mind. The "mental exercise" ended when Snape changed the Room of Requirements. Harry was so immersed with feelings and thought of the beach that he didn't even notice that the beach scenario was gone. It was a completely sterilized, white room with four walls and no noise. But after a few minutes, Harry startled at the absolute silence of the room. It was too quiet. Wait, what was going on? Where was the beach? What was he laying in?

Harry panicked, for no real reason at all, and flailed as he fell off the hammock. He winced as he felt his knee slamming into the hard floor. Harry awkwardly clamored to his feet and looked around the room.

"Er- sir?" He asked, confused.

"I changed the room, Potter. You could concentrate on a single thought or feeling, but you have to be able to clear your mind with no stimulus at all. Later on, you should be able to clear your mind in this completely empty setting. But – that's for later. I believe it's time for you to return to your dormitories."

Harry nodded, feeling slightly embarrassed about the whole incidence.

"Thanks, sir. I've never been to the beach before. It was really nice."

"It was nothing. It was merely a way to help you clear your mind." Snape said, waving the gratitude away. Typical of Snape, Harry thought.

"And... sorry sir, about what happened tonight. I really ruined it, didn't I?" Harry said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.

"It was necessary, I suppose. You needed to hear a few things from me, and I realized a few things as well."

Snape looked at Harry thoughtfully.

"But you, Potter, have to stop back-talking to me. I'll have to come up with an extremely excruciating punishment for the next time you repeat that offense."

Harry gulped.

"Yes, sir. Sorry, sir."

"Come. Collect your things from my office and get out of my sight." Snape grumbled, and left the Room of Requirements, leaving an exhausted but content Potter behind.

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Thanks for all the reviews, especially to those who have been following since the first chapter.