Title: Fool's Mate

Author: Nanaki BH

Pairing: Suzaku/Lelouch

Summary: It was the closest Lelouch had ever been to checkmate; what possibly became of the emperor. (vignette)

Warnings: PG-13, mild blood and such, and spoilers for the end of the series.

Disclaimer: Code Geass and all related characters and materials are property of Sunrise and CLAMP.

His head was swimming, pounding. His world felt like it was swaying constantly, forward and back. He could hear something. Gunfire? A nail being pounded? No, it was too light, too close and yet far away to be either of those. His head only hurt more trying to make sense of his surroundings and situation. There was a pain in him that seemed as if to consume him, starting at his core and working outward to claim his whole body. Was this death? There was no other word to describe the way he felt.

There was crying in his ears, in his head. Nunally. Her voice.

Her voice reminded him of who he was.

He convulsed, eyes shutting tighter if possible. There was wetness against his cheek, dripping from somewhere close. He recognized the sound finally as rain, deafeningly loud to his sensitive head. Unconsciously, he brought himself closer to the source of heat that was pressed against him. Warm. Soft. Strong and secure. It felt like someone's arms, holding him tightly. There was warmth on his cheek and he barely registered the sound of someone's breathing, harsh and frantic.

Were they running?

He felt like crying and he didn't know why.

His eyes refused to open.

"Lelouch?" . . . "Lelouch? Come on... Lelouch!"

It felt like a short eternity before his eyes opened again. From what he could see, there were cracks in the ceiling, water dripping down next to where he lie. It looked familiar, like the Kururugi shrine. How he had gotten there, he wasn't certain, but it seemed like a safe place to be nonetheless. There was only one major difference between this and the shrine he held in his memory.

There wasn't sun shining through the cracks.

He remembered the last time he had been there, though vaguely at the moment. It was a memory that tasted bitter to him still.

He blinked until he could glancing down blearily at who had been calling his name. In front of him, straddling his legs, sat Zero – Suzaku – a needle in hand. His mind still felt too fogged to make any sense of what was going on; why Suzaku was over him like that, what he was doing with that needle, why he hurt so much.

"I don't want you to freak out suddenly, okay? You have to stay still while I stitch this up."

His eyes flew open and instantly, stupidly, he attempted to sit up. It was an impulse, of course, but it caused the wound on his stomach to stretch and he fell back on the bed, clutching his middle, screaming.

Suzaku grabbed his wrists, forcing him to lie still on the old futon, pinning his legs with his knees.

"I said to stay still, didn't I? You're making it worse." His voice was lacking its usual calm, sounding more distressed and afraid than Lelouch had ever heard him. His eyes watered with the effort, but Lelouch steeled himself, trying to stay still even as his muscles strained.

A moment later, Suzaku released him, satisfied that Lelouch wouldn't try to move again. He reached for the needle again but stopped short, glancing back at Lelouch. His eyes were closed again, deep circles under them, his chest rising and falling with labored breaths. He was struggling. He had to work fast, but who knew how much Lelouch could sustain?

Suzaku rummaged through the old medical kit one more time, pushing around yellowed bandages and crusted tubes of antiseptics. His fingers met with what he hadn't expected to find, even after he had looked through the first time. C.C. Would probably return shortly with much better medicine. He had all the essentials except for morphine or any means of anesthesia. The small bottle he managed to find was probably hidden on purpose, as it wasn't something one would expect to find in the jinja's medical kit, but it was probably necessary at one point for some reason. Whatever the case, Suzaku held the bottle tightly in his hand and praised his luck.

Tearing a strip from the bottom of his cape, Suzaku grasped Lelouch's arm and wrapped it tightly around his bicep, the inside of his elbow facing up. Lelouch whimpered in his feverish haze, head lolling to the side. Praying that the syringe he found was sterile, he drew some of the morphine and pressed it to a vein, injecting it slowly.

"I don't know how long that will take to work," he muttered, unsure of whether Lelouch could even understand him, "but it will have to do for now. C.C. will be coming. Just... Hold on."

Lelouch cracked open an eye weakly, shutting it the next second. Suzaku supposed that would be his only form of a response for now.

He returned his attention to the wound at Lelouch's middle. The towels he found around the shrine were already drenched with blood, doing nothing to stop the bleeding. The short bed was already getting soaked. Lelouch couldn't afford another minute and he was hesitating.

It wasn't like he had never tended a wound before. He'd passed a needle through his own skin, knew how to keep a wound closed. But this was Lelouch. He didn't have the right scissors nor the right suture for it. He didn't want to hurt him.

But if he was going to stop the bleeding, then he had to do it.

"I'm no doctor, Lelouch. Forgive me."

The needle pressed against his skin and slid through, under and out the other side. The skin slid at the light pressure he applied and he felt his nausea grow. The wound was mirrored on his back. He'd have to do this twice to be over with it. His hands were shaking, trembling.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, passing the needle through again, tugging on the thread when it came out the other side. Lelouch hissed and fidgeted on the bed, burying his face in the pillow. Another stitch. "I'm sorry."

Lelouch opened his eyes again with some effort, his hand rising slowly to touch Suzaku's thigh. It was as far as he could get his hand to move before his strength faded. His eyes shut against his will and he held back a choked sob. The morphine wasn't doing much of anything, it seemed; probably because it was old. Did morphine get old? No one had been in the shrine for years. Who knew when the last time was it was used.

His hand slipped, the thread slipping out of the needle. "Sorry," he mumbled hurriedly, trying to rethread the needle with shaking fingers.

"S-Suza... ku..." Lelouch's fingers felt up his pantleg, grasping weakly. "D... Don't."

Don't be sorry.

It was his last order, after all. He'd obeyed it and this was the least he could do for him in the end. It was what he had to do if he wanted Lelouch to live. That crowd, cheering as he fell... He didn't deserve that. This pain, the ridicule, the sacrifice...

"It's okay," Suzaku whispered, stroking his hand affectionately over Lelouch's. "I'm here. I'll take care of you." It was hard to say, his own confidence quickly waning, but they were words Lelouch needed to hear. It was such a simple thing, but Lelouch seemed to visibly relax, his breathing becoming a little easier.

To be like this, he must have lost a lot of blood already. There was no way they could take him to a hospital, though. He had to trust that C.C. would have some way of helping significantly. Stitches alone might not be enough. Trying to take his mind off of it as much as he could, Suzaku returned his attention to the needle, finally managing to keep his hands stable enough to slide the thread through the tiny loop. Once Lelouch's breathing had calmed down again, the sound of the rain had taken over. It was loud, yet soothing.

Before he knew it, he had already reached the other side of the wound, the thread strung through tight. He tied it off and cut it free, pressing lightly around the broad cut to test how it would fair. It wasn't suture at all, but it was still a strong stitch he'd made nonetheless, the wound bleeding very little with the pressure.

"I need your other side," he said, rubbing Lelouch's hip. The emperor's white pants were far from pristine now, spotted in places with red. All of the symbolic irony made Suzaku's head ache.

His consciousness fading rapidly, Lelouch could only moan his assent, becoming boneless to allow Suzaku to turn him over.

Had he missed his mark by a mere fraction of an inch, Suzaku could have killed him. Vital organs would have been slashed, his spine struck, something. Had the wind just even been a little different, something awful could have happened. But Lelouch was still here, fighting to stay among the living, even as he seemed to be losing the fight.

Suzaku leaned down, placing his lips against Lelouch's pale shoulder blade, caressing his hands over his shoulders. Even if their plan meant that they would have to live separate lives, that was alright; Lelouch would live. Lelouch was no longer the emperor, no longer a son of Britannia, did not exist. And he was no longer Suzaku. Things seemed fair enough. It was their debt.

His fingers worked faster this time, the needle diving over and under flesh from one side to the other. Lelouch groaned when he gave the final tug, tying off the end.

Even if he were to be separated from him, Lelouch would still undoubtedly have the scar the wound would leave. It would run deep, a literal divide in his being, separating him from who he used to be. Suzaku hoped he could forgive him for it.

"Suza..." The rest of his name came out in a breathless sigh. Suzaku leaned in to listen, placing his hand on his shoulder. "Lap," he muttered. It couldn't even be considered a full thought, but Suzaku still managed to get the idea.

"I probably shouldn't move you," he replied worriedly. "I was afraid to just turn you over."

Lelouch cracked open an eye, his frown very visible. Even when he was in pain and barely conscious, his emperor still managed to command him. If that was how things were going to be, Suzaku couldn't find his place to refuse. Very carefully, he arranged himself behind Lelouch, leaning against the wall, and lifted Lelouch into his lap so he lay against his chest. Had he not been so careful of Lelouch's wounds, he would have wrapped his arms around his waist.

"Lelouch," he said softly, resting his cheek gently against his head, "I... You probably have no idea what I'm even saying, do you?" Lelouch's hands, which had laid uselessly over his thighs, moved to tug lightly on his pantleg like a kind of silent sign. "Fine, so you can. And I don't know why. Really, you should be asleep. Or passed out or something!"

Lelouch mumbled something that Suzaku interpreted as, "don't tell me what to do", although it was debatable. It wasn't something someone in his position had any place to say, to start with, especially when he was sounding more exhausted than ever.

"You can really understand me?" He waited a moment to see if he had any response and received none. "You probably won't remember any of this when you wake up, huh?" Another moment of silence.

He leaned down, brushing aside Lelouch's damp bangs, placed a kiss to his cheek, and whispered softly, "I love you. Hang on for me."

Even if he couldn't put his arms around him, he found his hands and linked their fingers together. That would just have to do.

Heaven only knew what C.C. would see when she got there. That was the farthest thing from Suzaku's mind as he drifted off, though. Lelouch finally let himself sleep with a smile on his face.

Gosh, Lelouch, you're so sly. I've been wanting to write something guro-ish and this obviously didn't turn into that. I prefer the second half to the first half, but I won't drive myself crazy with it. Hope you guys liked it. XD