Jacob, Leah
Sail
Leah sailed through the forest. Everything was a blur--even a bloodsucker wouldn't be able to see her clearly, she thought, slightly smug.
Even Jacob couldn't outrun her. This was the one time he couldn't outrun her, and she was taking full advantage of that fact.
She weaved and twisted through the trees, flying over branches, her paws hardly touching the springy earth.
Last time he tried to cut across, but now she flew in zigzags so all he could do was sit and wait.
It was nice, the reversal. She liked being the one out running.
--
Turntables
"Uh, what was that?" The look of shock on Jacob's face was almost funny.
"The tables have turned, Jacob," she said patiently. "Things have changed."
"What's changed?"
She looked into his dark, open eyes. "I think you know what I'm talking about."
--
Fifteen
When Leah was fifteen, Jacob was hovering between thirteen and fourteen.
She wouldn't be caught dead with him, but when she was...
It was like everything else just melted away. Sure, he was annoying as hell, and Seth was even worse running after him and being an irritating twit.
But if she could forget it was Jacob, he made her forget everything, just by being there. It was just something to do with him. His personality, or something, even though he was just a kid. And so was she, really.
She didn't really care. It was just where no one could see her, anyways.
--
Abandon
"You're joking?" He made it seem like she was doing something horrible.
"No, Jake. I'm not joking," she repeated once again.
"But..."
"It's still in the country! And I'll be back. Eventually."
"Eventually," he echoed. "Does everything mean nothing to you?" He asked quietly.
She frowned. "You know it does, Jake. I just...need a break."
"Right."
"You know it doesn't have anything to do with you."
"Of course." His tone is biting, sarcastic.
"Jake!" She placed a hand on his face. "Whatever. I give up."
--
Perspective
"It's just good to get some perspective," Jacob says.
"Excuse me?" She laughs dryly. "Oh yes, oh so funny to act like an immature idiot, like the last year doesn't matter."
"Leah, you know I didn't mean--"
"Did you ever mean it? Did any of them ever mean it?"
"No. They never did. You know that."
"I don't."
"Leah, it was just--"
"Some fun. Yeah, I get it."
"Do you?"
"Sure. You insult me for fun. Totally understandable."
--
Hill
"Hey!" She's too late, his hands connect with her back and push her forward. She tumbles down the hill. But she grabs his hands before she falls, and he falls with her.
They come to a slow stop, and Leah jumps up, whacking leaves loose from her hair. She looks around at the forest surrounding the small clearing they were in. "Jake, you--ugh."
"I'm sorry! Jeez, it's not a big deal."
"Yeah, well..." She starts walking towards the trees.
"Leah, I'm sorry!" He scrambles up and grabs her hand. "Wait!"
She spins around. "What?" She snarls.
He drops her hand. "Leah, I--"
"Just leave me alone, Jake."
--
Pair
"Excuse me?" Leah stares at the strange woman at the counter, uncomprehending.
"Um...well, I just said--"
"What did you call him?" She jerks her thumb towards where Jake is sitting, and he raises an eyebrow.
"Your boyfriend? Oh!" Her hand flies up to her mouth. "I'm sorry, is he your brother?"
Leah realized how much she liked La Push. Everyone knew who she was. She used to hate this, hate seeing their pity--but at least they didn't think Jacob was her brother, like in this horrible city.
"No. Just a friend. A friend." As she says it, her mind jumps--okay, so they kiss...occasionally...well, he's a good kisser...
"Ah. Right. Of course." The woman looks at her with a look Leah doesn't like at all, and she remembers the kiss they shared in the doorway...right.
She thanks the woman, and hurries back to where Jacob's sitting.
"What happened?" He asked.
She sighs, keeping her eyes on him.
"She thought we were together," she said with disgust. "Then she asked if you were my brother."
"Is it really that bad?" He smiles slightly.
"What? You being my brother? Yes, actually it is, Jake, seeing that we--we--" she sputters, gesturing wildly around them.
"No. Not that."
"Being...together? A...pair?" She looks at him like he has three heads.
"Well, yeah." He shrugs, and he looks so adorable, looking at her through his hair and eyelashes. She sighs again.
"No. No, I guess not."
--
Come
"Aw, come on, Leah."
"No."
"Come on. It'll be fun."
"Leave me alone."
"Please?"
"Why do you even care? Just go laugh at my pathetic life with your idiotic friends. I'm not going."
"Okay, then. I will."
--
Envy
Leah never thought she'd be jealous of a baby.
She didn't want to be in Jacob's position, no way. She'd die before she was connected to freak mutant spawn with "steel cables".
It was the spawn she hated, because it was the spawn she wished she...
Had that. She didn't care if it was Jacob, she told herself that firmly, just someone.
That loved you unconditionally. Who loved unconditionally. That wasn't Jacob. Of course.
Unfortunately, the only guys left in the pack who haven't seen her are obnoxious little kids.
Right.
Not Jacob.
Of course.
--
Process
"It takes time, Leah." His hands are on her shoulders, his eyes boring into hers. She finds it hard to concentrate.
"Uh, yeah, sure."
"You know that. You of all people know that."
"Yeah. Seeing all the experience I have." He finds it almost impossible to look in her eyes. He can't help but think if only...
"I wasn't going to tell you," she says abruptly. "I don't want you to know I'm in love with you."
"I know." His expression isn't pitying, isn't judging, isn't angry.
"Why are you staring at me, Jake? Just go find your spawn and make little wolf-spawn babies."
"Leah." He tries not to let the hurt show. "Leah..."
She doesn't respond, just looks him right back in the eye. "Of course, you could always change your mind..." She smirks suggestively, a rare cover.
"Oh, shut up." He hits her lightly on the arm, but he's smiling.
--
Inevitable
"It was inevitable."
"I know."
"We both knew it was going to happen."
"I know."
"I didn't choose it. I didn't choose her."
"I know."
"I chose you."
"I know."
"I have no choice."
"I know."
"What can I do?"
She's silent.
"What can I do?" He says again.
"Don't cry," she says. There's no emotion in her voice.
"I..."
"Don't."
"I'm sorry."
"I know."
"I can't believe this had to happen to you twice."
"I know. I know."
--
Except
"Everyone's here," Embry said, glancing around. Jacob gives him one hard glare.
"What? Oh, jeez."
"Leah's not here."
"Okay, everyone's here except Leah. Happy, Jake?"
"No."
--
Fly
It was always the same, to fly through the forest. She was always escaping something. Or someone.
Leah Clearwater couldn't wait until the day when she could fly through the forest with nothing behind her.
--
Side
"I'm not taking sides."
"Seth."
"I mean it, Leah. You and Jake have to work whatever it is out, and I'm not taking sides. And no, I won't help you in a fight, but that's only because I know Jake won't hurt you."
"You do, don't you?"
"Yeah, you're always fighting, but if you can't tell he loves you than you need to look a little closer, Leah. And maybe you should stop being so mean to him. He had enough with Bella, he deserves to be happy."
"Wow, Seth, you're really the feeling--"
"Leave me alone, Leah. Just because I can see the obvious doesn't make me girly."
"And are you saying I'm not?"
"Stop laughing at me."
"You never answered the question."
--
Unbelievable
"Holy shit." Leah's fingers trace her lips. She's in a daze.
"Yeah." Jacob's smiling slightly, and looking at her in such a damn familiar way...
"You never told me you were that good a kisser, Jake."
He snorted. "Did you expect me to?"
"Not really, actually."
--
Hazard
"I can't let you come, I'm sorry."
Leah's staring at his serene expression, her anger growing.
"What, 'cause I'm a girl? You know I'm faster than any of you."
"That's not it, Leah. You know that speed isn't the only issue, what if they catch you? I'm sorry, you'd be a hazard to everyone there."
She stares at him a few seconds more.
"I love it how you make me feel so welcome in my own pack, Jacob. Who was it who said I was part of the 'family'?" She snorted. "I should have known better. I can't believe I let you--"
A stranger in the human world, an outsider in her own screwed up mythical one. Leah Clearwater swore that she would never fall in love with another werewolf.
--
Growth
Rosalie smiles. "You're doing well, Leah. Better than I expected."
Leah turns her back to the blond vampire, looking out the window at the grass in front of the Cullens' house. Jacob's playing with the spawn--sorry, Nessie. Leah sees the top of his head, black and messy. There are leaves in his hair. His hand comes up, brushes her red-gold curls.
Alice sighs. "Maybe you shouldn't be so quick to judge, Rose," she whispers so quietly Leah can't hear.
Leah sniffs, and her tears roll down her face to fall on the grass around Jacob and Nessie.
--
Until
Leah surfaces with a start.
Dammit, she thinks for about the thousandth time. I thought Jacob was supposed to be nice.
She pushes him away when he tries to kiss her again.
"Sorry, Jake. I already had my heart broken by an idiotic werewolf, it's not happening again."
His dark eyes are cast in shadow when he furrows his eyebrows and frowns. "What do you mean? I'm not going to break your heart."
Leah snorts. "Yeah, right. We both know it's just until..."
"Until what?" He's suddenly defensive.
"Until your spawn grows up and starts getting all womanly, Jacob, what do you think."
He didn't even tell her don't call her that.
He frowns again, and even though Leah can see that he doesn't exactly look bad, it doesn't fit him. He's supposed to be happy.
"I'm not Sam, Leah."
"Really? You know, I couldn't tell, seeing how you look exactly like him."
"For once I can't tell whether you're being sarcastic."
"You're much more handsome than him, don't worry," Leah snaps.
"And what do you mean, get all 'womanly'? You're a hundred times more 'womanly' than she'll ever be. Whatever that means."
--
Book
Jacob stares at her. He's been doing that a lot lately.
"What?" She asks him.
He just shakes his head.
"I didn't know you read," he said softly.
"What?"
"I thought you thought books were...stupid or something."
"That was only when everything happened to the people in there that never happened to me. In a book, Sam would always have come back to me."
"And now you don't care?"
Leah smiles. "No. No, I don't care."
--
Polish
Leah smiles at her fingernails. She likes purple, she thinks. It looks nice.
Leah likes being a girl. She loves acting like a guy sometimes, hanging out with them (because once she stopped being so mean to them they actually started to like her), but it's nice to be a girl sometimes.
--
Compatibility
"You're asking for it."
"What?"
"I hate you, Leah."
"I thought you were supposed to be forgiving."
"We don't work."
"What?"
"We don't work, Leah. We. Don't. Work."
"Why not?"
"Just doesn't. It just doesn't work. You tell me."
"But I think we work just fine."
"You don't actually."
"Whatever."
"We just don't fit, Leah."
--
Ideal
Him and Nessie were, apparently, perfect. But Jacob really didn't feel that. At all.
For him, it was all Leah. Everything was Leah. Yeah, they didn't fit together, they were completely different, but he couldn't stop thinking about her.
And, apparently, she couldn't stop thinking about him.
He phases in on a particular vivid thought of himself, and instead of being completely freaked out, which is what he should be, seeing that he has a soul mate, he runs towards her because he can't stand it anymore.
She's not hiding anything and he's not going to try to anymore.
--
Stranger
Nessie was a stranger to him. Her strange red-brown curls were too much like her father's, and Jacob hated that hair. Her eyes were too much like her mother's, and how weird would that be?
Jacob decided it was a fluke. It had to be. What kind of sick joke would it be that he imprint on the daughter of his mortal (ha, ha) enemy and the girl he fell in love with?
Sick. Sick, sick sick.
He could tell himself that when he wasn't around her, sure. But the second he saw that hair, those eyes, that pale-white bloodsucker skin...
He asked Leah to keep him away from her. He wouldn't be able to himself, and no way Quil or Embry would do it, so he asked Leah.
She grinned, beautiful gold-brown skin glinting, black hair shining. She really was beautiful, Jacob thought.
She said, sure, Jake, whatever you want. She opened her mouth to make some joke about him just ordering, he was sure of it, but then she closed it, something crossed her dark brown eyes, and she asked, "Why?"
He hated himself, he hated her, he hated himself for imprinting on her, and he couldn't stand it. Even then he felt the pull. He hated it. He imagined cutting the steel cables and being...
Free.
He clenched his teeth, his fists.
Jake, he heard from far away. Jake!
He said he was going. "Where," she asked. His answer made her sigh.
"How did you expect me to stop you, Jake?" She asked, and he shook his head. "You're stronger than me."
"Help me, Leah. Stop me. Please. You promised." He crossed between yes and no, stay and go.
"Jake, stay."
Go.
"Stay. I can't stop you, and I promised, so unless you want me to get Quil and Embry, just sit down and stay put."
"I have to, Leah, I can't stop."
"Jake..."
"Leah, help me." He was almost crying. Jacob didn't cry, and Leah froze.
"Stop it, Leah, break it."
"I can't, Jake."
"I hate this, Leah. Stop it. I have to go. Stop me."
"How..." Jacob stumbled backwards, his back was against a tree. He gripped it hard.
"Please."
Leah bit her lip. "Jake, I..."
She kissed him. Pulling him roughly to her, she crushed her lips to his, muffled his gasp, twining her fingers in his hair.
Jacob forgot, for the moment. The pull was fainter. Leah tried to keep her eyes from flying open in shock--kissing Jacob wasn't as bad as she had expected.
--
Personal
"Shut up, Emily."
Emily sighed. "Why are you so hostile? I just want you to be happy."
Leah didn't think that deserved a response. She just snorted, shook her head.
"Jacob's a good kid, Leah."
She just stared at her, not understanding. "Why are you telling me about Jacob?"
Emily shrugged, an old smile lighting up her face, her eyes shining, reminding Leah of high school.
"Sam told me some things."
"What things?"
Emily's smile grew wider, knowing Leah was curious now.
"Just some things. Some thoughts."
"Emily, if you haven't forgotten, I can see Jake's thoughts too."
"Yeah, yeah, I know."
But now that she thought about it, Leah hadn't seen Jake's thoughts for ages now. There were always excuses--you go sleep, you go rest, I'm going to see Billy, I'm going home, we don't need so many on patrol, Seth'll go with you...
"Yeah. What'd Sam say?"
"Just some things."
"What things? Emily!"
"Go ask Jake."
"Oh, sure. 'Hey, Jake, what are you thinking that you're hiding from me that makes Emily thinks we're destined for each other?' "
Emily just laughed.
--
Expert
"I am an expert," Rosalie said, "in things of these matters."
"What matters?" Leah asked.
"Matters of the heart." Leah would have laughed if it wasn't for the look on Rosalie's face. Like she was pained by the corniness.
"Um, sure."
"More specifically, getting your heart broken. Twice."
Leah froze. "An why would I need to know about that?"
"Oh, please. It's obvious enough to anyone who's paying attention."
Leah's expression changes from the shock to the fear, the realization. "Shit."
"No, don't worry. He's too wrapped up in his--maleness."
"Mm."
"I can help you."
"I don't want to be helped."
"Not like that."
"What?"
"Look at you--" Rosalie swept her hands in the air in front of Leah-- "and look at her. Yes, she's beautiful, but she's a child."
"Have you seen Quil and Claire?"
Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Leah, Leah! You've got to want to be helped."
"I want to be helped."
"Good. Then let's start."
--
Pavement
The ground really was interesting, Leah thought. She felt like the air was pressing into her ears, her head. She felt compressed. Claustrophobic.
Jacob wouldn't stop talking. She always thought he talked too much. Then she thought he thought too much. Now she thought he should just shut up.
"Are you even listening to a word I'm saying?"
"No," she answered truthfully. She wouldn't look at him. She knew that if she looked in his eyes, she'd be done for.
So she stared at the pavement as Jacob talked, feeling smaller and smaller and smaller.
--
Hold
"Jacob. Jacob Black. La Push. Washington. Middle of nowhere," she added quietly. The machine on the phone finally got it.
"Please hold."
Leah almost threw the phone down in frustration. Why did their phone have to break, why did they all have to be so nosy and share every little thing with each other? She would just have called Seth. God, she should have just called Seth.
The music started, the horrible, fake...
She didn't put it down, just cursed at Jacob under her breath.
"Hello?" Even Leah couldn't help but sigh in relief at Jacob's melodious voice taking the place of that...it shouldn't even be called music.
"Leah?"
She couldn't say anything for the longest time. She kept thinking, he recognized her and she didn't even say anything.
"Okay, it's not Leah. Who is it?"
She took a deep breath.
"It is me, Jake," she whispered, closed her eyes.
Finally.
--
Whole
"I don't need you to be whole," Leah spat.
"Of course not. Neither do I."
"I just need you to...be you."
"I just need you because...I want you."
"That's a better answer."
--
Damage
Watching Jacob, watching Jacob talk to Nessie, play with her, kiss her forehead, kneel down and take her hands and whisper to her and watching Jacob love Nessie was even harder than watching Sam love Emily.
Emily was her cousin, her friend, but Nessie was the enemy. The enemy Leah thought she and Jacob shared a hatred of.
Watching Jacob talk to Edward like he was a human being and watching Jacob talk to Bella like she wasn't someone who broke his heart hurt almost as much.
But she could forget about Bella and Edward when she looked at Jacob. Jacob and Nessie, watching Jacob and Nessie.
--
Fame
Leah was famous in La Push. Even more than Sam. It was something she took some twisted pleasure in, something she liked having.
She would never be good enough for him, but at least more people knew who she was.
--
Candy
Jacob brought Nessie candy.
It was the only human food she liked, and Jacob brought her some almost every day.
Leah would go with him and watch him give the candy to Nessie.
Sometimes Jacob offered her some. He held out the bag, raised his eyebrows, held Nessie around her waist or shoulders with a strong brown arm.
They would both look at her with such different eyes, eyes that didn't match at all, and she would shake her head no, even though she wanted so much to reach into the bag, pull him closer, watch Nessie disappear from his side...
She never did.
--
Salad
Nessie loved candy, but she hated salad.
So did Jacob.
He gave his to Leah. She hated it too, but she took it, ate it along with her own.
He thought she liked it, thought she liked his salad.
--
Supervise
Jacob asked Leah to watch Nessie.
He and Seth had to go on patrol, and as much as she begged him to switch them, he refused, saying she was too tired, needed to rest, just stay at the Cullens' house and watch over Nessie.
They left. the Cullens were nowhere in sight. Nessie stared at her, too scared to touch her and too shy to talk. Or maybe she couldn't. Leah really didn't know, or care.
She stared right back, right into those eyes Jacob loved so much.
She left. She walked around the forest human and waited. She shut her eyes tight when Jacob phased right in front of her--what the hell was he thinking--waited until he grumbled that he had clothes on, why was she so touchy, opened her eyes, saw that what Jacob was wearing really couldn't be counted as clothes, seeing as they only covered half of him.
"Why'd you leave, Leah? She could have been--she could have--anything could have happened--"
"It didn't," she said shortly, tore her eyes away from him.
"What's wrong with you, Leah?" He asked, his voice suddenly softer, his eyes gentler, and when she looked in them she almost forgot everything that was happening.
She shook her head, looked away.
"I dunno," she lied.
--
Gorgeous
Leah felt beautiful when Jacob looked at her. No matter who he was in love with.
But when he told her, looking at her, kissing the corner of her mouth, "you're beautiful, Leah, you're gorgeous," she believed him, and she preferred it that way.
--
Skirt
"You are...wearing a skirt." Jacob stared openly at her, no trace of shame in his face.
"Wow," Embry said. "Jake's learned to state the obvious. Congratulations."
"Shut up," Leah muttered, looking at Jacob with his eyes on her.
"Oh, please. Just get at it already," Embry retorted, and strode away.
"Leah?" Jacob said a few seconds later, his eyes pulling towards hers.
"Hm?"
"You...are...what did Embry mean?"
"What did Embry mean? You mean when he said we should 'get at it already'?"
"Yeah."
"Oh, I dunno." Leah stepped closer to him.
"You don't?" Their eyes met, Jacob looked away, a slight red blush coloring his face.
"You are so blind, Jacob."