I'm currently considering having someone beta my writing. I didn't even know this function existed until like 3 days ago despite the fact that I've been posting on here for years. Before I start looking at random people, I thought I'd see if any of my writers are interested. My only real request in a beta is that they don't try to change my plot lines (future ideas are welcome though) and that they don't change my sentence structure since I purposely don't always use complete sentences. Oh, and that the chapters get in a relatively timely manner, I understand life happens though! So, if anyone is interested, just pm me. I'll wait a couple of days before I start looking elsewhere!

I don't think me updating multiple times in a week is really going to be the norm, but I'm going to do my best to work writing into my schedule so I at least work on plot ideas or something every day. Hopefully I can keep it going!

Thanks for sticking through this. I cannot believe the responses I've been getting. Your reviews are amazing, I love reading your opinions of the characters and seeing people so engaged in what I'm writing! It means the world to me! Also, already over 400 visitors for my last chapter? This is amazing!

Chapter 26: Back Home

Meredith felt like a teenager. She was over forty and had two kids, but she felt like a teenager. After dosing off last night, they ran upstairs wrapped in blankets to her bedroom. All the giggling and kissing and everything just felt so fresh and new. It was amazing. Meredith couldn't remember the last time she felt so free. It was intoxicating. She couldn't get enough of it.

But that wasn't life. She knew enough to know that the 'head over heels' feeling wasn't going to last forever. They were eventually going to fall into a normal pattern and fight and have problems, but she didn't care because right now, everything seemed perfect.

Will left after a long and not necessarily clean shower, as Meredith was not ready for her kids to know he spent the night. She liked that Will had a relationship with Michael and Jackie, but that just opened doors she didn't want to walk into. Especially since the possibility of Derek finding out was real. She knew he'd know about Will soon enough, but she didn't need to be cruel. He didn't need to know about their sex life.

After ignoring three texts and two phone calls from Derek, she texted him back only to find out that he wanted a "family" dinner tonight so they could figure everything out and talk to the kids about their new life together. Meredith really just wanted to smack him upside the head. There was no new life for "them." There was no "them" or "us" or "ours." Living in the same city doesn't mean you're a cohesive family. That ship sailed. Derek apparently just jumped overboard.

That left Meredith preparing her kids for a nice dinner at a restaurant by herself, which kind of just made her laugh at Derek's understanding of what was going on. Was he here making Michael shower or getting Jackie to brush her teeth? No. He was probably watching television waiting for it was time to eat. She was the one running around in circles to make sure her kids matched and looked presentable. Just her.

After putting way too much effort into an evening she was dreading, Meredith finally got her kids in the car. That was the other thing about living in this house. It was so far away from everything. She used to take solace in that, but now that she has to run her kids to a million different places, it's just exhausting and probably takes at least three hours out of her day every day. They could get a house in a nice suburb, still have some land and only be a twenty-minute drive to everything they needed. That was going in her pro column for moving.

An hour later, she finally pulled into Derek's strategically picked location. A cartoon-themed pizza parlor that the kids had always loved. When they first got divorced, Derek probably took them there every night he had them. It made them happy because it reminded them of a time when their family was whole. It was right near the hospital so whenever they left the hospital a little after dinner or if Meredith or Derek or both were too tired to cook, they'd eat dinner there just to see Michael's smile. Jackie was too young to really enjoy it until the divorce. Since Derek moved away, Meredith avoided it. She hadn't been there in years. She always felt like a bad parent when she lied to her kids about reasons not to go, but it held too many memories. Which was precisely why Derek was making them go tonight.

She hadn't told them where they were going, but as soon as Michael realized where they were, the smile on his face grew. He practically ran in to the restaurant since he could see Derek sitting in a booth through the window. Meredith got Jackie out of the car and walked her inside, taking her seat across from Derek who was already in a conversation with Derek.

"And now I'm going to play little league in the spring. I think I might even like baseball more than soccer! I'm not sure yet though. I still really like soccer."

Derek laughed. Michael was clearly feeling better as his energy was completely back to normal. "Well, I'm really glad. I'll make sure I come to all of your games."

"Does that mean you're staying?"

Derek looked at Meredith who glared at him. "Jackie, Michael. Your father and I wanted to talk to you about that. Your dad is trying to get a job that will allow him to stay here permanently. Right now, he'll be here as long as he can find work."

He would have preferred the last sentence to not have been said, but he was fairly satisfied with what she said. "I even have a condo really close by so we can come here more often like we used to. You guys will have your own rooms again. We can go and decorate them soon."

"Daddy! Can I do underwater? I really like dolphins. And whales. And penguins," Jackie said, jumping up in the booth.

Meredith urged Jackie to sit down while both of her parents laughed at her comment. "I'm not sure penguins live with dolphins and whales, but we can do whatever you want."

"Mommy, can I go play the games?"

The restaurant had a nice assortment of videogames for most ages, which was a huge part of the reason the kids loved the place. Derek quickly pulled out a bag of quarters, looking to Meredith for approval.

"Yes, just take your sister and stay where we can see you. I'll come and get you when the pizza is here."

"Yes!" Michael jumped out of the booth, practically dragging Jackie with one arm, the other holding the bag of coins.

"Those games never get old."

Meredith smiled at Derek. "Yeah, I forgot how much they loved this place."

"We probably game at least a month here after a while with everything getting so busy, neither of us wanted to cook during the week," Derek said, carefully probing Meredith's reaction.

"Yeah. We're lucky out kids aren't obese. And that I got you over your health freak thing."

Derek smiled. "I think the kids just have your metabolism. Otherwise, they probably would be. And I never was a health freak. I just care about my body."

Meredith rolled her eyes, "Suuuure."

They both chuckled, leaving a slightly awkward silence. Other than reminiscing, neither were really sure what they were to talk about. There a bunch of things they should talk about. Practical things with the kids and all, but then there were all the other things that they actually wanted to talk about.

"Look, Derek. There is something I need to tell you."

Derek sat up a little straighter, looking at Meredith. She seemed nervous. He nodded to her, telling her to continue, but she hesitated.

"The things I said that night in the kitchen, I meant them. At the time, I thought they were true. They were true. It's just, things have changed. I didn't expect them to, even when it all started, I didn't expect them to develop this way, but they have and they did and that's that. I just don't want you to find out from the kids or from some nurse or doctor at the hospital. I should be the one to tell you even though I really don't want to have this conversation. I owe you that and I owe him that. And myself that…"

"Him?"

Meredith sighed, realizing that she'd been ranting. She didn't even notice the change in Derek's expression. He looked sad. Not angry. At least not yet. Just sad. He knew what was coming, but he wasn't angry. And that was so much worse. It would be infinitely easier if he was yelling at her right now, but he wasn't.

"Yeah. I'm dating Will. I didn't expect this to happen, but it did and I'm happy. I just needed you to know. He's a part of the kid's lives. He's not trying to be their Dad, just their friend. He doesn't have to spend so much time with them if you're not okay with that. I just wanted you to know."

Derek swallowed. "Okay."

"Okay?"

He nodded. "What am I supposed to say?"

"I don't know? Yell at me? Threaten to kill him? Something?"

"Meredith. You didn't yell at me with Elizabeth. You didn't say anything. I'm going to extent you the same courtesy you did for me. You deserve to be happy and if Will does that, than so be it."

"Oh, okay."

Derek laughed at his response.

"What? I was seriously expecting you to freak out at me. And yell. Lots and lots of yelling. I wasn't expecting this… um..."

"Maturity?" Derek chuckled. "Yeah, I wouldn't if I was you either. I'm working on acting my age though. It's about time."

"Okay, I guess that works."

"Just don't expect me to be friends with him. My maturity might end there."

"I can deal with that."

"Well all of their homework is done, so I guess it's okay as long as you get them to bed on time. And then to school. They've been tardy enough already."

Derek laughed as he pulled his keys out, "Having a rough time getting them to class?"

"Ha. You'll understand after tomorrow morning. And good luck with the showers tonight."

As he opened the door, the kids pummeled through them and ran into the new condo first. Derek held the door open for Meredith, who slowly stepped inside. She felt weird about going to Derek's place in Seattle. He wasn't supposed to have his own place in Seattle. It was just weird.

"I like it."

"It's not much yet. I did a couple of days of work for the furniture and stuff, but it still needs more. I'm sure my Mom will come and completely decorate it all."

"Of course she would. That's your Mom," Meredith smiled as Derek led her into the living room. The kids were running up and down the stairs, peeking into every room in the three-floor condo, giving them a bit of time to themselves again. "But seriously. I like it. It's much more you than the place in New York was. It's nice and new and kind of modernish, but it's still homey. Not sterile."

"Yeah, I think it's much better. I already like it."

Meredith sat down on the couch, across from Derek. She always made a conscious effort to keep a physical distance from him. She wasn't oblivious to the fact that they had sex less than a month ago. After all, that entire visit was kind of difficult to forget.

"So, how's the work coming?"

"Pretty good. I have a lot of consults and a lot of interviews and meetings set up right now. Hospitals and private practices, but at least right now I'll be able to help you out the kids as much as possible. I can focus on rebuilding my relationship with them right now."

Meredith nodded. "That's good. Really good. Michael is so happy. He's been asking me about Christmas and how that was going to work."

"Well, I don't want to ruin any plans you have. I really hadn't thought about it actually. I know it's really soon. I can always fly home, that'd make my Mom really happy."

"I still have a party at the house, so I think the kids would really like it if you came on Christmas Eve. And you could stay over. You should see your kids on Christmas Day. I mean, Will will be there. I don't know about Christmas Day, but he'll be there that night. I'm not going to tell him he can't come, but yeah. You should come too."

It seemed like every time she said anything of value to him, she got nervous and Derek picked up on it every time. It was weird to him. It left him wondering if she'd ever be comfortable around him again.

"I can do that. It would be amazing to see them on Christmas. And I remember all of our Christmas Eve parties. They were always great and everyone usually crashed there. It was like being at home for Christmas just because of all of the people sleeping everywhere."

Meredith smiled, thinking back to all of those years. "Yeah, they were great."

Derek smiled at her with that McDreamy smile that she could never forget. Only now, it sent an unsettling feeling through her, in addition to its more desired results. She didn't want to think fondly of her ex-husband. That made everything so much more complicated. She could see what Derek thought this move would mean for them, but she had Will. She just didn't know how this was going to work out.

Somehow everything
I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment
It's all not true