A/N: I'm baaaaack! Hopefully ya'll are still out there, it's been a long time. :( I wish I had a brilliant excuse, like I've been travelling the galaxy with Doctor Who all this time, but alas the truth is I came down with a nasty case of writer's block. I apologize. :/ But I'm going to try my hardest to finish this story and rewrite the first chapters, try to make them longer and all that so just bear with me. :) Thanks, my lovelies! 3 - Karen

His whole body seemed to crumple as he began to fall to the ground, but without thinking I caught him and held him in my arms. He put his head on my chest as his sobs became stronger. God, he was so warm. I shut my eyes and tried to ignore the conflicting emotions I was feeling. Bella was dead but I had never felt more alive then I did now, with Jacob in my arms. What the fuck was wrong with me?

"Jacob?" I whispered, and he seemed to snap out of whatever stupor he was in. He angrily pushed me away.

"It's your fault she's dead, you killed her you fucking monster!" He screamed, as tears continued to stream down his face. I hated myself even more, for I was the cause of the pain surging in his eyes.

"I know. I'm so sorry." I replied dejectedly.

"How did it happen?" He asked, it seemed as if the anger was slowly draining out of him. He looked so small and tired. I swallowed and shut my eyes, not wanting to relive the memory.

"Edward, tell me. I deserve to know."

I cleared my throat. He was right.

"I...I was speeding, and the car spun out of control. I wasn't fast enough to save her." I told him, my voice breaking.

"Oh god, Bella." My knees gave out and I fell to the ground, a sob erupting from my throat. It was not fair for me to keep living when she was now dead. My sweet, delicate Bella was now gone forever.

"Jacob, kill me please! I beg you, I-I can't live like this. I can't live knowing I'm the reason she's dead." I whispered.

"I can't, Edward." He replied as he sadly shook his head.

"Don't tell me you're gonna let some silly imprint prevent you from avenging the girl you were supposedly in love with." I laughed bitterly. He exhaled sharply as his eyes widened.

"You...you know?" He asked, his voice so low I would not have been able to hear it if I wasn't a vampire.

"I can read minds, you know." I told him, matter-of-factly. His expression turned into one of sheer horror. Oops, I guess he didn't.

"Anyway, if you won't help me end my life, I'm sure one of the other werewolves would be more than happy to oblige." I said, almost cheerily.

"You're wrong. They can't kill the person I've imprinted on, it's against the rules." He said with a watery smile.

"Fuck!" I roared as I punched a nearby tree with all the the force I could muster. I heard the wood begin to splinter. I pulled my fist back to punch it again when Jacob yelled, "Hey the tree didn't do anything, don't take it out on it!" I laughed bitterly. Now was not the time to joke, but as I turned to tell him so I realized his expression was completely serious. He actually cared about the life of an insignificant tree. How quaint. And strangely...cute. I shut my eyes tightly. Ugh, I must stop thinking these thoughts. Times like these I wished I could indulge in the sweet escape that humans call sleep, even just for a moment.

"Look...I forgive you. Try to forgive yourself, it's what Bella would want. She would not want you to be brooding for the rest of eternity, you're already emo enough. No offense. And she would most definitely not want to to end your life. She loved you, she would want you to be happy." He said evenly. I still had not opened my eyes, and my breath was becoming ragged.

"Just go home, Edward...I'll see you around." He turned and swiftly ran away. I was alone again.